Life Without Hope (41 page)

hustle on. Besides, I’m already paying his punk ass two grand a

week. What the fuck he sweatin’ you for? Something ain’t right.”

In so many ways Blazack said what I was already thinking.

Something wasn’t right with that cracka. I had a gut feeling.

I lit another cigarette, inhaled deeply, as Trina continued to

give me a disgusting scowl. Finally, she took the baby off my lap,

rolled her eyes at me and walked out of the door. I made a men-

tal note to have a few choice words with her afterward.

“
Twine, how many people you got on line workin’ for you?” I

asked. I watched as he thought for a second, did some quick math

with his fingers.

“
Seventeen, if you want to count Nina Brown smoke up all

the product ass,” he said. Someone in the room snickered.

“
What about you, Dirty?” I asked.

“
About the same.”

When it finally came down to it, everybody in the room had

enough employees to open up a chain of restaurants. They all had

traps bringing in major cash.

“
Ya’ll gon’ to have to step it up and grind hard, cause I think

the spot done got too hot. I’ma give ya’ll some extra cushion on

each bird, then we move out.” With that said, I searched the faces

of each man. Everyone in the room nodded in agreement, except

Blazack. That’s what annoyed me about him most, I could never

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get a feel for his real sincereness. I couldn’t help thinking,

what is

wrong with this nigga?

I knew for a fact that he had more than a

few million stashed somewhere. To be truthful, I ain’t never trust-

ed that nigga. How could I? He was a cold-blooded killer.

After everyone left, Trina eased into the room. I sat in front of

the fireplace drinking Hennessy with my thoughts weighing heavy

on my mind. I had a bad feeling about Spitler, something he said

about me regretting I ever laid eyes on the town.

“
I’m leaving you.” Her voice was soft and mellow like an Anita

Baker song. I didn’t even turn around, just watched the security

cameras and heard the crackle of the flames. However, something

did dawn on me. I was in love with Trina, at least something in

my thug’s armor was telling me so.

“
When we first met, we had plans, dreams. We had a goal. Get

out of the game after a year. Now look at us! Look at you!” Trina

raised her voice, I could hear its tremor with emotions.

“
How much money is eee-nough!?” she screamed and began

to sob uncontrollably with a Black woman’s scorn. I cringed. Over

the years Trina learned how to get to me. In my heart and soul, I

knew she was right. Intuitively, all hustlers know when it’s time to

get out, like some damn premonition. That day I could feel it in

my skin. The only problem was, I couldn’t get out of the game if

I wanted to. Hustlers are just as addicted to the game like the very

fiends we serve, only worse. The money and the power was the real

addiction.

*****

Stressed the fuck out, I decided we needed a vacation.

Actually, I was looking for a way to persuade Trina to stay, at the

same time, trying to act hard like I wasn’t in love with her. Call it

my thug ego, but that’s how real gangsters roll. Feelings and emo-

tions ain’t part of the game. At least that’s what I kept telling

myself.

I broached the idea to Trina and Black Pearl as they were going

over some clothing designs. Lately, Trina had started to see the

brilliance in Pearl’s creativity. And it wasn’t just her, Pearl had been

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offered a scholarship to go to college to design clothes. Now, she

and Trina were going to start their own clothing line. To be truth-

ful, I wasn’t feeling none of that shit, in fact, I was starting to feel

threatened by Trina’s business savvy. I had no idea that she learned

so much in college with her degree in Business Management. She

had invented a phony corporation to wash millions of my money,

as well as placed liens on everything we owned in case the feds

started catching feelings for a nigga’s riches and wanted to seize

our assets. With everything having a hefty lien on it, if the feds

wanted to take anything they would be forced to pay off the liens,

which amounted to millions of dollars. Plus, Willie Falcon showed

me how to hide money abroad in Swiss bank accounts.

Reluctantly, I was able to talk Trina into staying. Actually, I

swallowed my pride and begged my woman to stay. I went out and

bought an eight carat Marquis diamond ring. Enough ice to make

her brain freeze about leaving me.

*****

The day before we were scheduled to leave, Trina decided we

should go shopping for vacation clothes and Louis Vuitton lug-

gage. Later on that day, Major pulled me to the side and pointed

to one of the security screen cameras. A yellow van was parked

across the street from my estate, directly overhead was a white man

wearing a construction hat. He sat perched on a telephone pole.

“
That yellow van been parked there every day now for the past

three weeks,” Major said with his voice filled with concern. I

shrugged him off; thought about asking him to go on vacation

with us, poor soul, the game had him paranoid, too.

“
Lemme find out you still smokin,” I joked, and playfully pat-

ted him on the shoulder as I smiled. Major didn’t smile back. He

had not smoked a rock since that day I saved his life from Blazack.

*****

May 26, 1995 there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, just a magnifi-

cent day. I was driving Trina’s Benz, headed for the Tallahassee

Shopping Mall.

Trina sat next to me in the car and for the past few days, she

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had been aloof and distant. In my heart I knew that I was losing

her. She just stared out the window like a beautiful caged bird

wanting to fly away, I imagined. Pearl sat in the back seat going

over clothing designs. Lil Man sat between Trina and me.

Playfully, he tried to take hold of our hands and place them

together, like he knew there was disharmony between us.

“
Aunty Trina, give me yo hand.”

Trina couldn’t help but to give him her hand as she smiled

allowing Lil Man to connect the three of us together. I don’t care

what anyone says, children are angels. By the time we reached the

mall, Lil Man had all us singing merrily, “Old MacDonald.”

I found a parking space. Lil Man quickly climbed into my lap

and nestled, clasping his arms around my neck. His way of saying

he wasn’t going nowhere without me.

I looked up just as a dark shadow casted ominously on my

window, a black SUV with smoked windows pulled up to the side

of our car. From that point on ever ything began to move in an

slow, surrealistic motion, as I stared up at the vehicle. It wasn’t

until I saw the masked gunmen dressed in all black leap out with

them tens–meaning AK47 assault weapons. Holy Shit! They

caught me slipping. Metal and glass exploded as my body experi-

enced a burning sensation like I was on fire. Trina’s blood curdling

scream only seemed too intensify, witnessing the horror of the

assassination on my life. Someone had sent professional killers at

me. Who? As best as I could, I tried to shield Trina and the baby

with my body. Just as quickly as the shooting started, it stopped.

My ears were ringing. I could feel the blood rushing from my

veins. I was hit several times. For some reason Trina stopped

screaming as I lay on top of her. In the distance, I heard one of the

gunmen say, “Shoot him in the head and let’s get out of here!” I

played dead. Prayed like a muthafucka. Someone walked up

and snatched the iced out platinum chain off my neck and then

placed the AK47 to the back of my head and pulled the trigger.

Click …Click …

The gun misfired.

I heard an urgent voice say, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” with

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the sound of footsteps retreating. I just lay there numb, scared to

death, soaking wet covered in blood. I could feel Trina shaking

underneath me.

Lil Man?

I thought. He was wedged between

Trina and me. My right arm was barely attached to my shoulder.

Them AKs ain’t nothing nice! Somehow I managed to pull myself

up off Lil Man and Trina. The gor y horror of what I saw tor-

mented me more then the pain that raked my body. The right side

of Lil Man’s face was completely blown off. All that was left was

skull with his brains spewing out. As I held him in my arms my

eyes filled with tears. His handsome face was gone, only to be

replaced with blood and brains. Then I remembered. Black Pearl.

I turned to look in the back seat. She was motionless, keeled over

on her face, crimson blood stained the interior. With it was an

awful smell that I will never forget.

DEATH. With my vision blurred, I looked over at Trina as she

got off the ground. A crowd of white people were starting to gath-

er around the car. Trina was crying hysterically as her hands trem-

bled, her face was spotted with blood. I could tell she was fighting

to take back control of what the armed gunman had nearly stolen

from her, her sanity.

“
Are you hit?” I managed to ask her. She shook her head no,

and reached out to see if Lil Man had a pulse. I passed out to the

sound of sirens in my ears, thought about all the niggas I touched

on the jack tip and now it finally came back to haunt me.

Yo u’l l

end up dead or in prison,

the intrusive voice said inside my head.

*****

207

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

“
Game Over”

–
Life –

I woke up in a hospital bed. My body was riddled with bullets. I

never experienced so much pain in my entire life. It even hurt to

breathe. My mouth was dr y, and my tongue felt like sandpaper. I

saw Trina sitting next to me. Her face was swollen and scarred, I

guessed from all the flying glass from the gun blast. I could hard-

ly recognize her.

“
L, you aight?” Twine asked. At first I did not see him stand-

ing over me. His eyes were red and bloodshot.

“
Where is Lil Man at?” My voice creaked barely above a whis-

per. Twine looked away and wiped at his eyes. In my mind I

prayed,

Lord, please let this all be a dream

.

Twine turned back toward me, “ They kilt Lil Man.” His voice

cracked. I closed my eyes and felt a piece of my soul die as I felt

Trina’s eyes bore through me. Her reservoir of love was gone, only

to be replaced by hate.