Lifespan of Starlight (28 page)

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Authors: Thalia Kalkipsakis

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BOOK: Lifespan of Starlight
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The one who …’ I trail off.

Mason pushes his mouth to one side. ‘You mean there’s an underground spring where
you found her?’

‘Yeah. I used to drink from there all the time.’

Creases deepening around his eyes as he stares at me. ‘Do you think she knew?’ Mason
asks, as if I’ve been withholding information.

My hands lift helplessly in reply.

‘It just seems … convenient.’

‘Okay,’ Boc rubs his hands together. ‘So we use these two days to prepare. Sort out
our stuff. But no swiping, all right?’

‘The minute you do, you’ll be back on grid.’ Mason turns back to the industrial estate.
‘And we don’t want any attention before we leave.’

‘But what if the police turn up?’ I ask. ‘They’ll be at Echo’s place for sure. Probably
want to interview Mason’s parents.’

‘So, we just keep out of sight while they’re there,’ Mason says simply. ‘They think
we’ve jumped, right? So they won’t expect to find us. It’s like you said, people
just see what they expect to see.’

Boc’s hand goes to rest on Echo’s shoulder. ‘Ready?’

‘Yeah.’ She raises an eyebrow my way as farewell.

They’re turning to go when I realise that I know what they’re headed into much more
clearly than they do. They’re so used to everything being offered up to them, they
have no idea of the world they’re about to face.

Part of me just wants to watch them go, let them find out the hard way.
See how you
cope now, Boc.

But he’s with Echo.

Arm outstretched. ‘Wait. Before you go, there’s stuff you need to know.’ They pause
and turn back. ‘You can’t swipe to cross the street like you normally do. Find someone
else and follow them, okay?’

They’re all quiet now, listening.

‘Anything else?’ Echo asks.

‘Doors. Some of them are just movement sensors but others
are triggered by chips.’
My mouth scrunches in apology. ‘Don’t think you can tell just by looking at them.’

‘Great,’ says Boc, deadpan. ‘No eating. No drinking. No going anywhere. That everything?’

I only manage a hand at the back of my neck. ‘Just … don’t let anything open for
you, and don’t expect anything to work. You’re as good as illegal for the next two
days.’

Boc reacts with a snort when I say that, but I stand my ground.

Now you’ll see what it’s like.

He doesn’t say anything, just turns away with Echo. They begin down a track towards
the old highway.

I’m lifting my hand to say goodbye, when Mason steps closer. ‘Come with us.’

My mouth opens then closes again as all my thoughts spin upside down. ‘I …’ Don’t
know what to say.

I’m not even sure I could jump that far. But just for a moment, I let myself imagine.
Taste the possibility of a future, ten years from now. The pull of the unknown. Even
if we found a life that we didn’t expect, at least we’d be together.

‘Someone once said to me that for all we know there might be any number of possibilities
out there.’ His voice is low, standing about as close as he could get without actually
touching me. ‘
Unless we can first imagine what might be possible, how will we even
know to try?
Remember?’

Of course I remember the words I said on the roof that night, so long ago. Dreaming
about going backwards. Time-travelling starlight. The whole world out there, waiting
for us. But even
as I lean closer and my forearm brushes against the back of his
hand, it’s as if something is crushing my chest. I’m only able to breathe into the
top of my lungs. And I know exactly why.

In another world, some other time, I’d throw my arms around his neck and hold him
tight telling him,
yes
. Yes, yes, yes.

‘Mason, I … would … love to.’

He can hear it in my voice. ‘But?’

‘I can’t leave Mum.’ Head shaking. ‘I just … couldn’t. I can’t …’

‘Could you could teach her? Wait behind until she’s ready, then bunny hop together.’

It makes me smile, his hope, determination.
Imagine if we could

Dinging from a railway crossing starts up in the distance, bringing us back. Before
we find out what the future holds, we have to deal with the next two days.

He exhales in a rush, stepping back. ‘Think about it, yeah?’

I let my chin drop. ‘See you in two days.’

O
UR ROOM IS
glowing blue from the standby light when I tap on the window at home.
Sure didn’t need a reminder about how difficult life is without a chip. It’s even
worse without a compad to make it in via the front door.

A few seconds pass before the top of Mum’s face appears over the back of the armchair,
a palm rubbing her eye. She slides the window open, blinking through sleep as she
guides me inside by one arm.

By the time I’ve found my feet on the rug, she’s blinking through tears. Arms around
me, holding me tight, my face pushed against her shoulder and damp now with tears
of my own.

‘I’m so, so, so sorry.’ For causing her worry and for all that has happened. For
Amon. And Echo too.

‘You’re not hurt?’ she asks, pulling back only long enough to check my expression.

‘No.’ But again the tears come, chased by a fresh wave of heartache.

‘I thought you’d jumped; I’ve been checking you on the grid,’ she says over my shoulder.
‘Saw a news report.’

‘What are they saying?’

‘He was your friend? Amon Lang. Something about a train.

Suspicious circumstances.’ Again, she pulls back, this time catching my focus. ‘They
named Mason, more than once. Put up a photo. Saying that he’s a … suspect?’

Fresh tears chase the others. Swallow them down. ‘It was an accident. Not Mason’s
fault, but they’re forming a case to convict him. We hacked in to see.’

There’s still no space for air in my lungs. Something catches in my throat before
I suck for breath again. ‘They’re planning a big jump. Mason and Boc. Ten years.
So far that the case will have closed and he won’t be arrested.’

One eyebrow flickers. ‘They can go that far?’

‘Yeah, pretty sure. Only problem is we don’t think it’s possible to travel back …’

I’m waiting for Mum to react about Mason and Boc, about travelling ten years into
the future, but she rubs her neck. ‘Those poor parents. Just awful.’

I lift a hand, keep pushing through. Testing the water, I guess. ‘They asked if we
want to come.’

There’s a pause before her face pinches with disbelief. ‘Scout, you can’t be serious
–’

‘You could learn how to jump. I could teach you. We’d still be together.’ The words
come fast. Have to get them out before she reacts.

We’re leaning so close that I can see the raw rims of her eyelids. She shakes her
head, just faintly at first but then faster and clearer as her frustration grows.
‘No, Scout, no. Absolutely not. That poor boy has
died
.’

My eyes drop. ‘Yeah, I know.’

‘You have to stop. Do you understand? I mean it this time –’

I should have known.

‘I mean it. No more. There’s too much at stake.’

‘Okay.’

She breaks off, her eyes travelling over my face. Her skin is so pulled and pale.
‘How much do they know about you?’

‘I don’t know. Not much. But I’ll deal with any questions.’

‘We can’t have them watching you, understand?’ Mum’s eyes are fixed on mine, her
eyebrows raised. ‘No more. Promise?’

I hate seeing her scared like this. I hold her shoulders, and let my chin drop. ‘It’s
okay, Mum. I promise.’

It’s easy this time. I breathe in, deep at last. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

At about eleven thirty on the night they’re due to leave, I head down to Footscray
Park. Not sure if the others will be there yet, but I want to allow time to say goodbye.

I couldn’t risk sending a message, best to stay off-grid these past two days, but
I did try to see Mason last night. When I made it to his house, both his parents’
smartcars were in the
driveway. Lights shone from the middle rooms in the house but
the garage was dark. I’m not sure what it was about the cars and the lights exactly,
but for a while I just sat on my bike, one foot braced against the driveway as I
tried to picture the scene being played out inside. What would they be saying to
each other in there? How must it feel for Mason, maybe telling his parents about
his plans, preparing them for the next ten years? Or, perhaps worse, not telling
them. Maybe leaving a note to explain once he’s gone.

In the end, I turned around and rode home. Let him have his last few hours with his
family uninterrupted.

A torch is glowing near the cave entrance when I come close, three figures moving
around, carrying clear vacuum-sealed bags that look like they’re packed with clothes.

One of the figures looks up as I approach. Echo. She manoeuvres her way around the
native grasses then just keeps coming, straight into a hug. I’m not ready at first;
it’s as if I’ve been hit with a wave of raw emotion. Then again, her brother is dead;
this is probably the only way to say hello.

It’s a real embrace, warm and tight, and as I hug her back I realise that I need
this too. We pull away, still no real need for words.

‘Are you jumping?’ I ask.

‘Yes. Mum and Dad too. We’re going to bunny hop together.’ It’s her parents, the
other people here, I realise with a start. Echo’s mum comes over and squeezes my hand so tight in both of hers that I feel the
bones crunch; her dad just grunts a hello.

I swallow and say hello too but it sounds hollow. I should say more, but I’m not
ready with the right words, so I turn to Echo for help. ‘I’m …’

‘It’s okay.’ She squeezes my forearm.

It doesn’t make sense to me, why they’re jumping; Mason’s the only one who has to
escape. In the police’s eyes, they’re the victims. But I guess their whole world
just turned upside down. Maybe a trip into new possibility is their way of dealing
with all they have lost.

Movement along the path a few metres away makes us all turn and wait until we recognise
who’s coming. We’re nearly there, but still anything could happen.

It’s Mason and Boc, carrying bags of stuff. They get hugs from Echo, and from her
parents too. The relaxed way they speak together in a bunch gives me the feeling
that they know each other well. Soon Mason leaves the huddle and makes his way over
to me.

The question is clear in his eyes.

I answer with a single head shake. ‘I’m … staying with Mum.’ But that’s okay. I’m
all right with staying.

His eyes close for a moment and his body stills. ‘I understand.’ I’m searching for
a way into goodbye when he pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket. ‘I wanted to
message you but I didn’t want to risk them seeing, so I wrote it down.’

He holds out the slip. I take it and unfold the paper, tilting it towards the torch
so I’m able to make out a name and contact numbers.

‘He’s a lawyer,’ says Mason. ‘A friend of our family. I knew you might stay so I
asked him to check the file they have on you.’

My eyes lift, not sure how to respond.

Mason shuffles closer. ‘They’re going to call you in for questioning, but it’s all
for info on me, all right? Even if they try to spook you, our friend said they have
no real case on you.’

‘That’s … wow. Thanks …’

‘He says you don’t have to tell them anything. Just play dumb. And if they hold you
in for any longer than an hour, call him, yeah?’

I have to ask. ‘Does he know about me? Who I –’

‘Scout.’ His tone is gruff, impatient. ‘Get that out of your head, okay? Maybe you
were illegal once, but not now.’

It’s almost too much. Before I know it I’m flinging my arms around his neck, holding
him so tight that I can feel his chest move with each breath. He has me around the
waist, my heels lifting off the ground. No words anymore.

We stay that way, holding onto the moment. Frozen in forever. Too soon our arms loosen
and my heels return to the ground.

Pulling away slowly, I turn my hand to cup his jaw and leave it there, one last moment
together.
Goodbye. Stay safe.

He lifts his hand to cover mine, tilting his head just enough for his lips to touch
my skin, a kiss at the place where my wrist meets the edge of my palm.

Almost as soon as I feel his touch he lets go, already turning away. Because who
wants to hold onto this moment? The worst one. The last.

I’ve been hovering outside the cave for a while when I decide to check. No-one here.
Piles of clothes mark the spots where each person once was.

I decided not to watch them jump, choosing to stay outside rather than psych any
of them out. Now there’s no need to stay, even Echo and her parents don’t expect
to return for months, but for some reason I hang for a while in my secret refuge.
The spring water still tastes achingly cold. My tools and other stuff are still stashed
in a corner, but now they have been joined by the vacuum-sealed bags.

The blanket is still there when I examine the ground by the light of the torch, covering
the woman who died, decomposed in patches with long shapes of bone underneath.

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