Lift Me Higher (14 page)

Torie opened her eyes to the rain and dark skies. She shook her head from side to side, refusing to let herself become glum again. She needed cheering up and she knew just the trick. She glanced at the clock and accounted for the time difference. Three-thirty west coast time meant that it was six-thirty back in New York. Monte and the boys would have finished eating Sunday dinner and would be watching football, working on a school project or playing video games. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse at hit the speed dial.

“Hey, Cali, what’s happening?” Monte said, answering on the first ring.

“Hi, babe,” Torie exclaimed.

Just the sound of Monte’s voice catapulted her up from down in the dumps.

“Are you getting drunk yet from all that sunshine?”

“Uh, well, considering it’s been raining since I got here, I’d say that was a big fat no!”

“What? I thought it never rained in sunny California,” Monte joked.

“Yeah, well, I hate to tell you but while that song says it never rains in
Southern
California, Burbank must not have gotten the memo. How’re you doing?”

“I’m great. The boys and I went to see that new robot movie this afternoon. I think Josiah ate too much popcorn because he knocked out as soon as we got home without eating dinner.”

“Aww,” Torie said, imagining Josiah’s goofy ear-to-ear grin being covered in butter and salt.

“What about you? Was the flight okay?”

“It was long, but otherwise it was fine.”

“Oh, and was, uh, your friend Martin there on time to pick you up?” Monte asked stiffly.

Torie knew that Monte was not pleased about the fact that Martin was the person helping her get settled. She agreed that Martin could be a little over the top at times and sometimes he came on a little strong, but he was perfectly harmless, she’d assured Monte.

“Yes, and he was a perfect gentleman. Oh, Monte, this apartment is gorgeous. The photos on their Web site didn’t do it justice. I’ve got a nice view of the back of the property—the pool, tennis courts and grounds. And it’s so spacious. I can’t believe I’m paying a third less than what I was paying in Manhattan and have twice as much space,” Torie boasted.

“I believe you. Anywhere outside of Manhattan gives you more for the money. So, babe, it’s back to rehearsals tomorrow, huh?”

“Yep, first thing in the morning we’ll be trying to pull this thing together. Martin’s going to give me a ride to the studio, but I’m definitely planning to get to a car dealership within
the next week or so. I can’t keep relying on him to take me back and forth to work every day,” Torie said.

“I’ll say.”

“And besides, I want to be able to just get up and go, you know? Explore this town on my own a little,” Torie finished, ignoring Monte’s meaningful second to her motion. “Ooh, maybe I’ll get a cute little convertible so I can ride with the top down, wind blowing through my hair—”

“All right, watch it now. Don’t turn Hollywood on me!” Monte laughed.

They talked for another half an hour while Torie unpacked two of her three suitcases. She picked out a pair of lightweight gray wool slacks and a pink cotton sweater for her first day at the studio. She began running a hot bath after she’d scoured the tub. She added bath salts before, reluctantly, she and Monte said their good-nights.

“I wish I was there to scrub your back,” he said softly.

“Mmm, in my mind you will be,” Torie replied devilishly.

“On that note, let me go and hop into my tub, too.” Monte laughed. “Good night, babe. Sweet dreams.”

“You, too,” Torie replied.

“And break a leg tomorrow.”

Less than thirty minutes went by before Torie settled into a tub of bubbles and hot water. She’d lit two of the sandalwood candles she’d managed to find in one of her suitcases and had selected a playlist on her iPod that consisted of all of her favorite love ballads. She closed her eyes and floated to one of the happiest places her mind could take her—back to Monte’s arms. She pictured his hands on her, running her own up and down her inner thighs as his had just a few hours ago. She squeezed her legs together and wrapped her arms around her body tightly, wanting to capture the memory of his body against hers and hold it there forever. She didn’t know how
long she could go without feeling his touch, seeing his face or just inhaling the scent of him, and it was that thought that plagued her for the rest of her first night in her new life.

T
wo weeks into Torie’s absence Monte began to feel as if he would truly lose his mind. He found himself wide-awake in the middle of the night when he should have been sleeping, and half-asleep in the middle of the day when he should have been working. Twice he was so busy daydreaming that he put flour in his coffee instead of sugar, and yesterday, he drove all the way to the office with the car’s air conditioner on full blast. When he got there, it took some time before he realized why his teeth were chattering.

He was so distracted at work with thoughts of Torie that he decided that he needed to take a few days off. He found himself reading the same passages in contracts over and over again, and still not being able to grasp the meaning of what he read. He decided he’d do some things around the house while the boys were at school and be there to get them off the bus.

Late one morning Monte sat reading the newspaper by his mother’s bedside. The boys were in school and the nurse was seated in the den having a cup of coffee. Marva had not been talking much of late and Monte felt as though she were slipping a bit further away from this world with each setting
sun. He felt as powerless as he had when he was a child and he’d watched her sit at the kitchen table, holding her head in her hands as she pored through the stacks of bills in front of her. He’d wanted to make her feel better. He’d try to get her to laugh, by telling jokes or making funny faces. She’d smile absently and then tell him to go to his room and read a book.

Life had been difficult for them, but Monte remembered somehow feeling as though it would all be okay. Even when they’d had to eat grits and gravy for breakfast every day for weeks, his mother would rub the top of his head and tell him that as long as their bellies were full that’s all that mattered. She’d tell him that God would make a way for them and he believed her. He also promised her and himself that one day he’d make sure they had everything they could possibly want. Marva would kiss his forehead and tell him that all he had to do was make sure they had what they needed, nothing more.

Monte was a diligent student, making honor roll through grade school, receiving awards in high school and landing a full scholarship to Hampton University in Virginia. His mother had been so proud of him, bragging to everyone at work and at church. He aimed to keep his promise to her and he thought that he’d have years to spoil her the way some man should have.

Monte looked at his mother now, resting against the pillows he’d fluffed beneath her moments before. Her hair was still more pepper than black and, although she’d lost weight, her skin still held traces of its former youthful beauty. He felt cheated, as though time had played a cruel trick on him. He’d wanted to see her spend her golden years traveling the world and doing all the things that she’d never been able to afford as she’d raised him. Although Monte forced himself to accept
the fact that it wasn’t going to happen, that acceptance did not make the pain lessen by any degree.

“Oh, Mama,” he whispered.

Her eyes fluttered open and, for a moment, they were cloudy and disoriented. When she came to rest on Monte’s face, he automatically braced himself. He never knew when she would recognize him.

“Monte? Baby, what you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?” she said.

He smiled broadly, glad that she was in the present with him even if it couldn’t last.

“I took a few days off to do some things around the house. And,” he said, picking up one of her thin hands from the bed, “to spend some time with my best girl.”

“Best girl? Boy, please. I haven’t been a girl in years.” Marva laughed, patting Monte’s hand. “Besides, you know that pretty young thing’s got your attention.”

“Who, Torie? Aww, she’s all right, but she can’t hold a candle to you.”

“Ooh, you’re silly. How are you two doing?”

“Well, you know how it is, Mama,” Monte said lightly.

“No, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me how it is? Are you happy, Monte?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am. I love her. She’s…she’s fantastic. And the boys love her, too.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just a worrywart like you always said. I want to make her happy, but I’m not sure if I can. She’s got her career, and she’s at a place where things are really about to start happening for her. That’s great and all, believe me, but—”

“But you’re worried about whether or not there’s room in her life for you and her work?”

Monte nodded, amazed at his mother’s unrelenting ability to read between the lines of what he said, even now.

“Monte, I don’t know what to say about that. But I will tell you something that I think you need to hear. You and those boys done had your share of heartache and it’s about time you had some happiness. If this girl makes you happy, then you’d better do whatever you have to do to hold on to that. You hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. ’Cause I ain’t going to be around forever and this house needs a woman in it.”

Monte laughed, agreeing wholeheartedly with his mother’s testament. He leaned back in the chair and just sat in silence at his mother’s side. Like most kids, he used to cringe when his mother attempted to give him advice, believing that she couldn’t possibly understand what he was going through at the time. He sent a silent prayer up to heaven, thanking God for at least one more opportunity for his mother to share her wisdom with him. It felt good knowing that the person who knew him best and wanted nothing but good things for him supported him in this way. He didn’t doubt that the separation from Torie would be rough, but he also couldn’t stand the thought of being without her.

His mother’s words stuck in his head and he repeated them over and over again.
This house needs a woman in it.
He couldn’t argue with that statement, but he wondered if Torie was, in fact, that woman. Yes, she was beautiful, exciting, intelligent and caring. She was great with the boys and was the kind of woman who made his heart skip a beat at the thought of just talking to her. And while that added up to a great deal of good, it didn’t necessarily make two. The question was whether she could fit into his lifestyle and the life that he wanted for his children. Monte sighed the hundredth of a
million sighs to come. Only time would tell if they were meant to be, and all he could hope was that the chips were stacked in their favor.

“I
just called to tell you that I really don’t know if I’m going to be able to wait until your flight gets in tomorrow. I might just hop on the red-eye and meet you at the airport in New York,” Torie breathed excitedly into the telephone.

“I miss you, too, baby,” Monte said. He took a swing at the air in front of him, trying to find the right words to deliver news that would undoubtedly devastate Torie.

“Ooh, Monte, I can’t wait until you get here so I can show you all around my little town. Tomorrow night, we’ll have dinner at Bella Vista’s, which is in the downtown Burbank area. They make the best penne with clam sauce you’ve ever had. Sounds good, huh?”

“Yeah, it sounds great. But, Torie—”

“And in the morning we’ll drive out to Roscoe’s in L.A. and have some chicken and waffles. I’ve only been out there once because that stuff is addictive. I’ll mess around and move up two dress sizes before I can say Jenny Craig diet.” Torie laughed. “Will you still love me when I’m fat?”

“Of course. I’ll love you if you gain six hundred pounds and have to be lifted out of bed with a crane,” Monte joked.

“Okay, now you’re going too far. Anyway, I’ve got a bunch of less fattening activities planned for us, as well. Make sure you bring your running sneakers because I’ve found the most beautiful trail and, oh, there’s a festival going on in town on Saturday. And bring a suit because we’ve got that lounge opening to go to on Thursday. I told you about it, right?”

“Torie,” Monte interrupted, raising his voice. “I’m not coming.”

“What? What did you say, Monte?” Torie asked hesitantly.

Monte did not answer right away, the line tense with the silence. Monte wished he could make those seconds stretch into hours, but there was no reprieve, no easy escape route for him.

“I can’t come. Believe me, baby, I really want to. Up until this morning, I was all set to come. But—”

“But what? We’ve been planning this for weeks. You said everything was all set with the boys and your mother. What’s the problem? Is it work?”

The disappointment in Torie’s voice rang clearly through the phone lines, gripping Monte’s heartstrings. He hated to be the source of any disappointment or sadness in Torie’s life, yet he seemed to be in that position more often than not. He considered lying for a split second, blaming some client crisis for his last-minute bailout. However, that second was short-lived for Monte as he was not a man who could comfortably dress himself in a lie, no matter how inconvenient the truth.

“Tomorrow is Shawna’s birthday,” Monte said.

The line was silent as Torie absorbed the weight of Monte’s words. He waited for a response that would signify some understanding.

“Torie?” Monte called finally.

“I’m here.”

“Listen, I know this is messed up and, believe me, I really intended to come. It’s just that—”

“No, Monte, you don’t have to explain. I understand,” Torie said shortly.

“You do? I mean, I…I’m glad. I miss you so much baby,” Monte said.

“Look, I’ve gotta go.”

“Go? Wait, I don’t want to hang up without explaining things to you. You see, Josiah—”

“No, Monte, really, you’ve said enough. Uh, you have a good night, Monte, and tell the boys I said hello.”

Before Monte could respond, Torie hung up the receiver. He sat in disbelief at the sound of the click in his ear, followed by a harsh busy signal and a recorded voice advising him that if he’d like to make a call, he would need to hang up and dial a number. Monte released the call and pressed Torie’s name in the speed dial. When her voice rang out asking him to leave a message at the beep, he regretted for the first time in his life his penchant for telling the truth.