Lilac Temptress (58 page)

* * *

Sierra sat quietly on the double
four-poster bed in the room Girard had offered her last night. He
had asked her if the room was adequate. She had told him it was
more than enough. Her room was comfortable with a ceiling of hand
painted gardens. Rich midnight-blue velvet curtains draped the
windows. Dark mahogany furnishings were spaciously scattered
throughout, and the Italian marble mantle cast a rather romantic
ambiance.

Upon arriving, she had marveled at
Girard’s home. His dwelling place was a handsome antebellum house
constructed in the Greek revival style and was the most picturesque
of Lafayette. It was a perfect domicile.

As she had made her entrance, Sierra
perused the tall Doric and Corinthian curved galleries and
beautiful cast-iron lacework framing the balcony. The hand-made
windowpanes glistened brightly. She was quite pleased to find that
her bedchamber balcony overlooked a large inner courtyard swelling
with an overabundance of greenery, including many colorful
blossoms.

Girard had mentioned that this house
was one of his greatest, treasured luxuries in life and that his
great-grand father, who had made a fortune in cotton, sugar and the
coffee trade, had built it.

Girard had shown her and Kyle a great
deal of kindness upon their arrival. There was a reassuring
gentleness in him that she would never take for granted.

After noticing her fresh tears
forming, Girard had sat with her last evening, after he’d showed
her to her room. He had tried to console her as best he could, but
softly she had asked him to retire. She reminded Girard that he
must return to Newhaven in the morning for Drake’s wedding and that
a long day of celebration awaited him. With a warm smile, he’d
squeezed her hand and left her alone in the spacious
room.

Sierra exhaled deeply while wiping
tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her dress. It was already
noonday and she knew that Drake was a married man by now. And she
sat there, coming undone at the thought of him, but at least it was
all over, and she was certain that she would gain the courage and
strength to start her life over again without Drake in it. But no
matter how she tried, she couldn’t stop her tears from flowing and
her body trembled with anguish. She wondered if she could ever fall
in love again. She wasn’t even sure if she could exist without
loving Drake.

“
Have you been crying all
morning?”

Sierra glanced up to find Kyle
standing quietly at her partially open door. She wondered how long
he had been watching her sulk.

Kyle walked inside toward Sierra. He
sat beside her on the bed and took her hands into his before
whispering, “I was a disservice to you. I’m your brother, I should
have looked after you better.”

“
Kyle don’t... don’t make
yourself responsible for my terrible decisions. I am the one mostly
to blame. I brought about both our suffering, and I miss her too.”
Sierra touched his hand sympathetically, “You haven’t fared well
without Rosaline.”

“
You and I both know,
I was never meant for a...
good
girl
,” Kyle breathed, giving Sierra a
heavyhearted smile. “I need to get out and take my mind off all the
things that are weighing on me about the McCalister’s. Would you
like to come along with me?” Kyle stood to take
leave.

“
I need more time alone.
Perhaps a little later I will meet you in the parlor,” she said
following Kyle to the door, and shutting it behind him as he
exited.

She walked toward the vanity and
glanced in the mirror. The puffy redness of her bloodshot eyes gave
her enough cause to worry over how presentable she might appear in
front of the household servants when she finally ventured outside
of her room. She wore a simple jade colored frock with lacings and
thin skirts beneath, no longer having the extravagant clothing that
Rosaline had bought for her. She slid into her slippers, deciding
that a short stroll through Girard’s home might help her alleviate
her disheartening feelings of vulnerability and emptiness inside.
She needed time to consider her situation.

Girard was all too willing to fill her
void—she had seen it in his eyes last night. After the time she had
spent with Drake, she would never again mistake the look of desire
in a man’s eyes. She didn’t want Girard to become a rebound
relationship.

No matter how much she liked Girard,
she knew that she and Kyle could not stay there for long. Girard
reminded her too much of Drake, and because he and Drake were close
friends, she knew that her chances of running into Drake were
highly probable, and she didn’t think she could ever look at
Drake’s face again without suffering the heartache of losing
him.

She finished preparing herself as best
she could, and opened her bedroom door to make her way out of the
room—she gasped finding Drake standing there, so breathtaking in
his crisp white shirt and midnight black slacks. She blinked
widely—the effect of seeing him made her nearly pinch herself to
see if she were dreaming. She sensed a storm raging inside of him
and she read volumes in his soulful eyes about almost everything he
might say to her. She saw a servant behind Drake turn away and
leave, whistling a pleasant tune down the hall, and then her eyes
returned to meet Drake’s.

Before Sierra could say anything,
Drake backed her farther into the room. He closed the door behind
him and locked them both inside. He lifted her into his arms and
pressed his lips hotly to hers, filling her mouth with his tongue,
kissing her so eagerly, desperately and entirely that he consumed
her emotions.

Drake removed his lips only for a
moment to allow himself a chance to breathe. “I need you... I
cannot live without you,” he voiced, heavy and direct, his chest
tight. “I’ve been done in by you. There can be no other
woman.”

Sierra, stunned senseless by the
gravity in his voice, stumbled backwards out of his arms to keep at
a safe distance. Her breath quickened, and her eyes became glossy
while her breasts heaved up and down. His kiss had nearly made her
forget her heartache. She gripped her chest with one hand and
raised her other hand, palm-facing Drake to keep him at bay while
trying to steady her weak knees. “Wait—just what on earth do you
think you are doing?” her eyes leveled with his. She feared his
expert touch might convince her to do anything.

Drake closed the gap between them,
pulling Sierra into his arms. He held her so tightly that he
thought he might break her feminine frame, but she didn’t cry out.
Instead, her body relaxed.

“
Explain yourself,” Sierra
whispered her demand.

“
I couldn’t go through with
it.” Drake slightly loosened his grip. “I couldn’t go through with
it, because when I was standing there at the altar, I knew
undeniably that I couldn’t marry a woman I didn’t love. I never
even knew what it meant to be in love before I met you. But I am
absolutely certain that I am in love with you. You see...” Drake
stroked her cheek, meeting her eyes. “Sierra, you—you are...” Drake
softly kissed her lips again between his broken words.

“
I don’t feel like I am
really alive without you. There are no words that I can use to
express how deeply I love you. My life is empty without you in it.
I know I’ve wronged you terribly and I am at your mercy. My actions
were nothing short of cruel. You were brave and confessed your love
and I was unwilling to forgo my plans in order to love you back,”
he trailed his hands along her spine.

“
I told myself that I was
unworthy of your love—allowing myself to pursue my own ambitions
without having to confront my past. I tried to keep myself from
loving you because of my guilt over Angelique’s death. But if I let
you walk out of my life, I will forever be a damaged man. Oh God,
Sierra. I’ve wanted you for so long. Please forgive me. I regret
hurting you.” Drake began working through the laces of her
dress.

“
Please have me for your
husband. Marry me Sierra, and let me spend the rest of my life
convincing you that I am worthy of you,” Drake pleaded, certain he
would lose his mind if she turned him away.

“
You’re unfair. After
stealing all of my heart, you want more. Drake, you put up so many
barriers between us,” Sierra cried softy, moving away, “and I might
never convince you that you are not at fault for the loss of
Angelique—that you cannot blame yourself for the actions of sick
man. Please don’t persist in your suffering. Otherwise, how could I
ever trust that you will not hurt me again? You cannot love me
entirely with such a darkness lingering in your heart.”

Drake immediately drew her back to
him. “I will liberate myself. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with
you. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“
I once thought that you
must have felt alone,” Sierra spoke softly while meeting Drake’s
pleading eyes, understanding the incredible burden of Angelique’s
untimely death that he lived with, and what he was risking now,
just to love her.

“
I was alone,” Drake
exhaled. “But there is more I have to admit to you. Sierra... I had
too much pride. I wanted to exceed my father. You have no idea what
it was like to grow up as the son of a man so admired—to live in
his shadow and be expected to be just like him. I didn’t want to
fail him. I’d thought my failure would reflect on him. I thought
that if only I could surpass him, I would gain my own honor. But I
don’t care anymore about what anyone else thinks. Not even him,”
Drake explained further.

“
I know it’s no excuse for what I’ve done to you, but I love
you and I need you. I was only half a man before I met you. I
thought that if I could work hard enough and do enough good deeds,
I would wash away the sins of my past. Now I know
better.”

Drake hooked his fingers into the last
lacing of her dress, while keeping his hopeful eyes inescapably
focused on her. “I kept things from you. But I promise I will never
keep secrets from you again. By being with you, I believe I can
become a better man. Let me right the pain that my words and
actions have inflicted on you. Please, let me dedicate my life to
making you the happiest woman alive.”

Reluctantly, Sierra pushed herself
away from him again, utterly comprehending that she was halfway
undressed as the he cool air met her thighs. Items loosened,
dropped to the floor and pooled around her ankles. Shuffling
around, she did all she could to gather up any fabric of her dress.
She wanted to forgive him completely, but thinking about the way he
had treated her in front of Isadora and everyone else, and then
rejected her again when they were in private made her tighten her
reserve.

“
Drake—you come here, into
the home of your best friend, after presumably leaving your
betrothed moments earlier, and expect me to just melt into your
arms because you’ve had a change of heart? Where was this
enlightenment when I bared my soul to you,” Sierra argued,
trembling—she realized her body was too exposed—thighs naked with
only fabric between them held up by her hands. She covered her
breasts, her arms and neck were bare, her backside completely
uncovered.

Drake didn’t have an acceptable
response, so he simply said, “I am yours. Do with me as you want,
but please don’t throw me away.” His voice fell to a hoarse whisper
as he began unbuttoning his shirt, and his then trousers. “Girard,
knows that I am here, and I understand that he is helping you now,
but I want to be the only man that you rely on. Please, come back
to me... come back to Newhaven with me.” Drake shuddered, beside
himself with angst; his desire so strong to be with her, heightened
by his fear that he had already lost her forever. “I can’t bare to
watch you cultivate your feelings for Girard or any other man. I
wish to have all the rights to your heart... and body... I just
need to be inside of you in some way.”

Sierra’s mouth opened, preparing to
mount another protest, but before she could utter a sound, Drake
seized her with his mouth, his hot tongue dipping inside her,
dissolving her protest before it could be spoken. He didn’t care
where he was. He meant to make love to her, and he wouldn’t allow
his guilty conscience to have its way with him.

He removed the last barrier
of her clothing from her hands and tumbled her onto the bed. Sierra
barely even noticed that he had stripped all of his clothing off,
and before she could push him away for the third time, Drake lifted
himself over her, and pressed her hands beside her head into the
pillow. She relished the warmth of his naked skin on hers and gazed
into the depth of his eyes. All she knew was that she
still
wanted
him.

“
I promise you that I
won’t ever hurt you again. Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me you
don’t love me anymore and I shall go.” Drake nervously proposed,
knowing that he would have to honor such a request if it came.
“
Can
you ever love
me again after what I’ve done to you?” Drake searched her eyes,
fearful that he might not see her love shining back at
him.

He ran his hand along her right arm
before moving it and holding it in place behind her back, causing
her to arch herself into him. Lifting her up, he pulled her closer
against him. He kissed her neck, taking in her scent as he nestled
his nose against her collarbone, then he moved his lips lower
taking her entire right nipple into his mouth, suckling it and
twirling it to a peak. A sensuous moan escaped her lips. But he
wasn’t finished stimulating her, and refusing to leave her other
nipple untouched, he tasted its soft surrounding flesh, taunting
the center with his tongue until it hardened. Her free hand
clutched his hair and gently pulled. When she let go and placed her
hand on his shoulder, he lowered his head and spread tender kissed
across the dip of her abdomen.