Little White Lies (24 page)

“I’m afraid I do,” she says looking at the ground between us and then away towards where the children are playing. “It’s nothing serious… he’s an old friend.”

Her body language is suffocating. I doubt that she wants to be here at all, let alone continue this discussion. However, like death, even though perfectly natural, ‘old friends’ can be a surprise when they’re not expected. But perhaps it’s just what I need to put our relationship back in the proper perspective. Everything has been speeding along with little direction from either one of us. And, worst of all, I may have presumed too much. That itch I’ve been scratching, the one about a girl like this having some kind of relationship, has just become a rash.

“Well good,” I respond without much conviction, “it’s probably for the best. I’m a bit behind after our little trip so I should work anyway.”

I call the kids and they come running. As usual, Shana lowers her head when she gets to within about ten feet and simply charges in expecting to be scooped up. I can do no more than oblige. What a little bundle of energy she is. I get tired just watching these little guys charge around like frisky little colts.

Arriving back at the house after a long silent walk, we slowly climb the steps and enter the foyer. I turn to Karen and see a look of disappointment or dejection on her face. I’m not sure which or if, in this case, there’s a difference. I do know I have to get out of here beforethings get worse. I have a sense of what might be coming and it’s something I think is out of line at this point in our relationship. Perhaps some time and distance would be the best prescription. This isn’t the time for a showdown… of any kind. I know no matter what is said, it’s going to come out wrong. I don’t know why, but my instincts tell me to just end it and be done with it. I don’t understand Karen and I’m not sure I ever will. It’s so tough to get comfortable, or if I do, to stay that way for any length of time. This whole damn trip idea was a major mistake.

“Thanks for a great time in Canada,” I say, kissing her on the forehead. She doesn’t look up. “I hope to see you again soon… have a good weekend and all that.”

She stands silently for a moment and then turns away, so much for fond farewells.

I grab the kids and head up the stairs to return them to Mary for the time being. They need to get out of their coats and ready for dinner. Then, like the coward I am, I head for the back stairs and my office.

The papers on my desk are not inviting and it’s difficult to focus on the work at hand. Realistically, I suppose, I won’t be seeing Karen again, at least on a personal level. The one person I know really well in this equation is me and I know I’m not up to competing for the attentions of an attractive young woman… even one as desirable as Karen. Obviously she’s involved to some degree, at least, with someone else. That’s okay… heck, it’s even to be expected. Someone as prettily packaged as Karen would be bound to have romantic ties. She has a lot to offer and I’m sure there are scores of takers, or at least would-be takers. It’s a little bothersome, but better a little pain now than a lot later on. I’m not really into this stuff anyway. Better to exit gracefully and get on with my life.

As they say in golf: ah shit!

***

I had a good night’s sleep, but it didn’t do anything to improve my frame of mind. The best cure for what ails me is work and lots of it. I have to put yesterday out of my head and just forget about it. Tough to do, but that’s what’s going to happen.

A.J. and I have been talking in the library for about thirty minutes to clear up a few loose ends before I leave for Atlanta. I am searching for management candidates for the new restaurants in the U.S. and possibly one or two in Europe, if we decide to take that step. We wander out of the library into the foyer when Sheri calls to us from the stairs.

“What’s up, guys?”

She’s all decked out in cold weather running gear.

“Nothing much,” A.J. replies. “Going for a run?”

“Yep. Want to go with me?”

“Can you give me a minute to change?”

“Sure, no rush. Do you want to join us, Phil?”

“No thanks, Sheri. I’m on my way to Atlanta. I’ll probably be gone when you return, so I’ll see you in afew days. Is there anything you would like before I go?”

Sheri pauses before speaking. She leans to the side as A.J. passes her on the stairway, taking the steps two at a time.

“Can you spare a moment?” She asks. “I would like to talk to you for a second.”

She quickly descends the stairs, takes my arm and steers me back into the library.

“I know this is none of my business,” she begins in a half-whisper, “but I think you should know that Karen’s very upset about what happened yesterday before she left.”

Since I’m not entirely certain just what she’s talking about, I remain quiet waiting for an explanation.

“Karen thinks you may have inferred from what she said that she’s involved with someone else… which is not the case. She thinks you’re upset with her.”

Now I feel my anger building. The last thing I need is some adolescent crap going on with my so-called love life. The idea she would bring Sheri into this is bullshit… plain and simple. It’s an excellent reason why I shouldn’t date someone who is involved with my employers. I don’t even want to talk about it, but I don’t want to be angry with Sheri either… and I certainly don’t want to give the appearance of being angry. The situation doesn’t deserve this much attention, but it’s the kind of thing Sheri feeds on. I take a deep breath before I speak, just as my mother taught me to do… so I wouldn’t get pissed off.

“Look, Sheri,” I begin, “I know you’re trying to help, but there’s really no need. I believe I understand what Karen’s concern is, but it doesn’t make any difference one way or the other. We’ll continue to be friends. As I’ve said in the past, she’s a great person and nothing has happened to change my opinion in that regard. I like her a lot.”

I smile as sincerely as I know how.

“Anything else before I go?”

Sheri stares at me intently for several seconds before speaking.

“Would you please tell me what all that means? I could interpret what you just said to mean there is no problem between you two and therefore no cause for concern. Or, I could interpret your words to mean it’s over… you’re dumping her. Which is it?”

It’s amazing to me how Sheri can dig into things she admits are none of her business. I think she feels if she admits it up front, then it’s okay. But none of this makes her a bad guy so I might as well try to end it as neatly as possible and get the hell out of here.

“Since I never really had any commitment or relationship with Karen, I would be in no position to dump her, as you so quaintly put it. What you seem to be unaware of is the fact that she is a bright young woman with a life of her own. A life, incidentally, that existed before I came along and will continue in my absence. I think you could more accurately say that her life will go on in much the same manner as it did before we met and that mine will do the same.”

“I knew it!” she exclaims with a whack on my arm. “You’re dumping her. I knew what your reaction would be when she told me what she said to you. She didn’t mean it that way. Please call her!”

Enough is enough. Fortunately, A.J. chooses this moment to appear in the doorway in his neon running gear. He looks as though he has just stepped out of a light socket. I take advantage of his entrance as I lean forward and kiss Sheri on the cheek.

“Good-bye, all.”

I tap A.J. on the arm as I pass him on the way to my room to get my gear. I’m outahere!

CHAPTER 17
 

The holidays are coming upon us with the relentless cadence of the inevitable. I have established priorities targeting all the things I want to accomplish before year-end with next year’s budget topping the list. Last year’s effort turned out to be little more than a thirty day rolling estimate, but it was more than we had before. Now, at least, we have rough numbers for our quarterly needs in various departments. Things like entertainment will always move around, but even there we know more than we did before… like how much it will cost for specific events. The more we know about the predictable expenditures, the more manageable the process will become.

Even the biggest bear we have been wrestling, security, has finally been brought under control. A staff of eight men has been assembled and they are all well trained. There are six to cover the estate, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week; plus two more who will travel with A.J. when he goes on tour or leaves town for any reason. Four are full-time, and four are contract workers with schedules adjusted according to activities and the number of family present. All have been cross-trained so anyone can take on any assignment at any time. I am considered to be a part of the night staff when I am at the estate.

There are no young toughs and no overweight, retired policemen in this group. In my opinion, we are a lot more prepared than we will ever need to be, but I think that’s better than playing catch-up. Also, Steve Marshall has come along in his training and is now ready to take his turn in the regular staff rotation. The staff is kept busy with a part of every day devoted to a rigorous training schedule. We run a variety of exercises that includes everything from accidents and injuries to fire drills. Most of this takes place when the family is away, or is relegated to a section of the house where the family won’t be bothered, usually the gym. The basic idea is to keep these guys busy at all times preparing for the unexpected. In my view, preparation is what security is all about. The focus is always on the safety of the family.

The message to the security team is simple and to the point. For instance, if a burglary happened to occur, it would be a problem; but if a member of the family were to be hurt during the commission of the burglary, that would be a calamity and a failure of the system. There is no confusion or ambiguity in the mission: the job is to protect the family… period. They are all professionals and I feel good about our ability to respond to just about anything with this crew.

The rest of the items on my immediate agenda involve the restaurants. The managers’ kick-off meeting for next year is to be held at the Doral resort located in Miami. Doral is a golf and tennis compound featuring some of the best resort courses to be found on the southeast coast of Florida. The schedule includes meetings in the morning and recreation in the afternoon. The majority of the agenda has been settled. Still unresolved is the very ambitious plan toopen twelve new restaurants next year. Since we plan to open only one during the first quarter, we will be gaining momentum as the year progresses. The budget for this project is complex and we do not expect to complete it until the middle of January.

So far I haven’t even thought about the holidays except to take care of gifts for the kids. After all, Christmas is really for children. The rest of us just join in the fun. I plan to give a nice bonus to the MacNamaras and let them decide what they want to do with it. Although close friends, we have always insisted upon maintaining a no-gift policy between us. It’s just easier all around.

As for Karen, she called once when I was out of town. I returned the call, but all I got was her answering machine and I haven’t heard anything since. I’ve thought about getting a gift for her, however I don’t really know if I’ll ever see her again and I don’t want to send the wrong message. She still has a lot going on with the Jacksons and I wouldn’t want her to feel uncomfortable coming out here for fear of running into me.

One thing has become very clear since I last saw her: I miss her more than I thought I would. I find myself thinking of her often. Nothing specific… just random thoughts, but they occur frequently and it’s during those times when I wish things could have been different. Perhaps the best course is to get on with my life and bury the past for good. Try to live a life without complications. It’s been three weeks since the Canada trip. It would seem like enough time to forget about her and get back to work, but that’s not the way it’s going right now. A little more time is probably all I need. At least I hope that’s all I need.

Perhaps the reason I’m having difficulty getting over Karen has more to do with the way our relationship ended. It’s not just that it ended on a bad note… it really didn’t end at all. Not in a formal sense anyway. Well however it ended, formal-informal, it’s over and I have to get it behind me… get to a point where it doesn’t intrude on my thoughts without my bidding. I want to be in control of my mind and this kind of thing sometimes doesn’t allow as much personal discipline as I would like. To be honest… I thought all this stuff was over when a person reached twenty. Now I’m wondering if it will pass by the time

I’m fifty. What a bummer.

***

Each day, as we get closer to Christmas, the bedlam index goes up a notch. Preparations of every sort are in full swing. Shana is the only one who seems to be taking all this in her tiny stride. Little Jeff, on the other hand, is practically out of his mind with anticipation. It’s hard to believe someone less than four years old can have so many questions. Do you have to be good all year long to get presents? Is Santa black or white? Does he like black kids as much as white kids? Could I be one of Santa’s helpers some day? How about Mommy and Daddy… have they been good enough… you know, I’ve heard Daddy swearing…

do you think Santa heard him? Will Mommy and Daddy get me presents if Santa doesn’t get any for me? If I did something wrong and I was sorry… is that okay? Does Santa have our address? Do you think he needs our ZIP code? Do you think he ever uses UPS when he’s late? How many helpers does he have? If I write to him, will he write back? Suppose I get a gift and I want to exchange it… how would I do that? The list goes on and on.

The questions are not just for me alone. Jeff-Jeff grills every member of the household without exception, letup, or mercy. The answers are compared and any discrepancies are taken back to the original source until everything is in sync. Little Jeff will probably make a good trial attorney some day. He doesn’t seem to forget anything, at least anything important to a four-year old when it comes to Mr. Claus. He forgets to clean his room and wash his hands, but all this is clearly different. Motivation is a wonderful thing.