Live for You (22 page)

Chapter
Twenty-Two

Violet

I text Jaxon as soon as
Parker leaves. Cole’s sitting beside me, one arm resting along the
back of the couch.

“
Will he
answer?”

“
He’d better.”

Cole grows silent again,
then asks, “Want to talk about that nice knowing you bullshit you
pulled on me?”

I look at him, bringing one
up one leg to rest my chin on my knee. “It wasn’t
bullshit.”

“
It wasn’t fair.” He drops
his chin, peering at me through his long black lashes. “You can’t
just break up with someone on the phone, Rae.”

I make a face. “You’d just
broken up with me. I was being polite.”

“
Polite?” He blinks at me.
“After all that’s happened between us, after all the stuff we
shared, that’s the best fight I can get from you?”

“
I haven’t shared
everything with you,” I snap. “There’s lots of stuff you still
don’t know about me. Things that if you knew, you would
probably…you would probably—” I can’t continue and I cover my face
with my hands as fresh round of tears emerge. This is the most I’ve
cried in months and I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad
thing.

Cole pulls me into his lap,
taking my phone and setting it somewhere. He rubs my shoulders,
easing all the tension that has built up. “I can guaran-damn-tee
you there’s nothing you’ve done in your past that would make me
feel differently about you.”

I let my hands fall away
and I wrap my arms around his wide shoulders, burying my face in
his neck. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew. You’d be
disgusted
with
me.”

“
Disgusted is a strong
word, Rae.”

“
It’s an accurate
description.”

His hands slide down from
my shoulders to the small of my back. He kneads the muscles there
and I can’t help but groan in appreciation.

“
Do you want to be with
me, Rae, because I sure as hell want to be with you. And there’s
nothing on this planet that could stop me from wanting that. From
wanting you.”

Oh, but there is, I think
And I love him so much that I’ll prove it to him once and for all.
“Do you want to get married one day and have kids?”

He laughs though it’s a
little strained. “Are you proposing?”

I sit up, wiping the tears
from my face and fix my gaze on him. He‘s so beautiful and sexy
(even with his bruised and battered face) that I want to sigh and
take him to bed, instead of revealing all my dirty not-so-little
secrets. “No. I want to know if those things are important to
you.”

“
Sometimes they
are.”

“
But what about
kids?”

“
Sure I’d like those,
too,” he says, his expression clearly venturing from amused to
confused. “Where are you going with all of this?”

I’m going to set you free,
I think, as my heart breaks into tiny pieces. “The wreck I was in,
the one that I caused?”

He nods.

“
My scar,” I gulp and take
a breath. “I can’t have kids. Ever. I only have half an ovary left
and it barely functions. I’m empty inside. There’s nothing there.
Nothing. And it’s all my fault. ”

*** *** ***

Cole

I can’t close my eyes and
pretend I never saw the look of utter hopelessness on her face. Or
cover my ears and pretend I never heard the vulnerability and pain
in her voice.

“
Now you know. I’m not
normal or whole or even completely female anymore.” Her head dips
and her hands come between us, like she wants to push me away, but
I won’t let her. “I should have told you before we had sex, but I
wanted you too badly.”

I have no idea what to do
or say in that moment. What
do
you say to that?
‘It’ll
be okay’
won’t cut it.

“
But don’t worry, I won’t
go back home until after Jaxon performs.”

“
Fuck Jaxon Hunter,” I
snarl and she flinches. “Do you really think I care about that? Any
of it?”

Big blue eyes with tears in
their lashes blink up at me. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“
Because you’ve trusted me
with your darkest secret while telling me you’re leaving me after
that rat bastard of an ex that cheated on you leaves. Right now,
that ranks highest on my list of priorities.”

“
How do you know he’s my
ex?”

“
I’m pretty sure women
don’t refer to men as rat bastards unless they’ve done them wrong.”
I kiss her forehead and try to hold her, but she struggles against
me.

“
Wait,” she cries and I
immediately let her go. “That’s not all.”

Honestly, I don’t know if I
can handle anymore. I’m not even sure if I’m the person Rae needs
to talk to. But I’m here. And I tell myself that I’m strong enough
to handle anything she throws my way.

“
Jaxon and
I…weren’t
careful
all of the time. Sometimes we waited a lot longer than we
should have and I got pregnant. Only I didn’t know, because it was
too early and I was only a few days late…” Her hands drift to her
stomach and press in while mine feels like it’s been punched
repeatedly. “I didn’t know, or I wouldn’t have had anything to
drink. I would have told Jaxon ahead of time, so we could have
decided... I would have done so many things different that
night.”

This is why I don’t believe
in God. How in the hell can He let something like this happen to a
girl who’d made one mistake? Sure, she should have been punished
for driving drunk. But like this?

I have no words.

“
Please believe me, Cole.
I didn’t mean for it to happen. I need someone to believe me. I
need—” I gently press my fingertips to her lips and look straight
into her eyes.

Then I find the words. “I
believe you.”

She launches herself into
my arms once more, sobs wracking her body as she cries. Tears burn
at the back of my eyes and I blink them away. “Don’t you think
you’ve punished yourself enough?”

“
I don’t know…it’s a
pretty big damn deal, I think,” she sniffs.

“
Dammit, Rae, I’m not with
you for your uterus or ovaries.” I have no damn clue where I’m
going with this or even what the hell I’m saying. All I want her to
know is that I’m serious. That I’m here. “And I’m not leaving
you.”

“
I think that’s the
sweetest, most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” she
gulps.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours.
I’m not sure how long we sit here, her in my lap while I stroke her
back. She’s so soft and relaxed while snuggled up against me, I’m
surprised she hasn’t fallen asleep by now.

Her phone rings and she
jumps. “Jaxon,” she breathes and I want to punch him, because I’m
pretty damn sure she’s said his name exactly like that in the
past.

I expect her to walk out of
the room, but she stays planted in my lap. Where she
belongs.

Letting my head fall back
against the couch, I close my eyes and think of all the things I
need to do tomorrow. If Rae can’t persuade Jaxon to come down here,
then I’ll have no choice but to walk away from The Double Deuce and
find a new job.

I can’t sell The Double
Deuce—it’s not in my name.

“
That’s very generous of
you,” I hear her say and my eyes pop open. “Two weeks from now?”
She taps me on the shoulder and covers the phone with her hand.
“Will that work?”

I nod.

“
The owner says yes and
he’s a pretty chill guy to work with, but you’re dealing with me.
No special treatment. No showing up late, either. You’ll be here
the day before, by dinner, so we can go over set lists. Bring your
band with you.” She gives me a thumbs up and a bright smile. “Truly
a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Hunter. Oh, and if you even
think about backing out, I’ll tell the entire world
about—”

“
Fine.” She ends the call,
tosses her phone to one side and grins like the cat that’s caught
the canary. “We got him by the short hairs.”

I stare at her in awe. “You
are truly frightening when you want to be.”

“
That wasn’t the best part
though.” Her eyes shine and I’m jealous as hell a phone call with
her ex put that there, even if it was about me. Even if she
included me in the conversation.

I tilt my head to one side.
“What was?”

“
To be able to help the
guy I love,” she says, her smile blinding and sweet.

That wasn’t the answer I
was expecting. “You love me?” I start to panic, not because I’m
afraid of her love, but because I don’t deserve it. “But I’m
not—”

“
Cole, hush,” she says,
her hands coming up to cup my face. “You don’t have to say it back.
I don’t expect you to say it back. But fair warning: I’ve decided
that I’m not leaving, at least not without you by my side. I
deserve to be happy. I deserve you, Cole Morgan.”

One hand falls away and
takes mine. She leads me to her room and slowly takes off her
clothes. I’m shaking like a damn leaf by the time she gets around
to me.

“
Poor thing,” she
whispers, kissing every bruise and cut on my body.

Slowly, I ease back on her
bed, grunting at bit when my ribs pull. “Ride me, baby,” I say,
helping her straddle me. “I have condoms in my—”

“
Don’t need those,
remember?”

Love for her swells inside
of me. “Doesn’t matter. Until we both agree, condom it
is.”

She kisses my neck, my jaw
and then bites my ear. “I don’t want you to use one. I want you to
come inside of me.”

There’s nothing I want
more,” I murmur. “But don’t do it because you think I deserve a
reward.”

“
Oh no,” she whispers in
my ear, making me shiver. “You coming inside of me is
my
reward.”

And if that isn’t the
hottest thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. “Then I’m all
yours, baby.”

She lowers herself on me,
biting that bottom lip of hers and holding onto my shoulders. I
suck in a breath as her bare walls surround my dick. My eyes water
and when she begins to rock her hips, I have to smash my lips
together to keep from yelling.

Faster and harder she rocks
upon me. Every rise and fall on her hips sends me closer and closer
to the edge of orgasm, but she won’t let me fall.

Grabbing each hip, I take
over and pump into her like it’s the last time I’ll ever be able to
have her like this.

Her tits bounce, hard
little nipples begging for my attention. I draw one into my mouth,
sucking hard and she shudders. Her pussy clamps down hard on me and
she falls forward, biting my shoulder.

And just like that I come,
growling her name.

When we both come back down
to Earth, I scoot down and roll to one side. She strokes my cheek,
her blue eyes soft.

“Rae?”

She traces the words of my
tattoo, the one that says: This too shall pass. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

*** *** ***

Violet

The three of us sit down to
breakfast together. Well, Kelly sits in her brother’s lap, holding
on for dear life to his shirt with one hand, while eating toast
with the other.

Cole doesn’t seem to mind
though. Every so often I catch him hugging Kelly tight and
whispering in her ear.

When she’d first woken up
and found him on the couch, she screamed like Santa had just
brought her every present in the world.

I stood in the hallway and
cried while he assured her that he wasn’t going anywhere without
her ever again. Kelly hasn’t asked about her mother, not even once
and my heart aches for her. For Crystal, too, because she’s missing
so much.

“
Who will pick me up after
school today?” Kelly asks for the umpteenth time.

Cole, patient as ever,
answers her, “You’ll ride the bus home. I promise to be waiting on
the front porch steps.”

Kelly looks at me. “What
about you?”

“
What time?”

“
Her bus gets there at
3:15.”

I groan. “I’m sorry. I
already made plans with Lacey to get our nails done. But we can do
something afterwards. Maybe Cole will let you sleep over again.”
And maybe Cole would sleepover again too. While he could. Nana
would be home on Monday.

Satisfied with my answer,
Kelly grins, then looks up at her big brother. “Puh-lease Cole, can
I sleep here tonight?”

He looks at me over her
head. “Oh I don’t know. Think Rae would let me sleep here tonight,
too? I’ll be so lonely without you. Who’s gonna chase all those
monsters away for me?”

“
Not Parker.” Kelly takes
a big bite of her toast. “He falls asleep every time I try to tell
him where they are.”

“
Fine,” I say, crossing my
arms like I’ve just the made a really hard decision. “Cole can come
over and sleep, too.”