Live for You (21 page)

“
God, you’re such a
pussy.” He grabs my hand and hauls me to my feet, then shoves me
into the closest room. “Go be a human TweetDeck and have quotes
less than a hundred and forty characters tattooed on your ass
then.”

A woman is waiting inside
as I stumble through the door. She’s not dressed like the ones
serving drinks and sex. Instead she’s wearing a black tank, black
shorts and black tights with high heel boots. The only color on
her—of course—is hair that’s bright pink. And she has a nose
piercing.

“
Hi, I’m
Rachel.”

I grunt. “Yeah, you
are.”

“
Tell me what you want,”
she says, closing the door behind me and then coming around to
stand in front of me. “Anything goes around here.”

I’m pretty damn sure,
despite my Percocet state, that if I ask for more than a piercing
or a tattoo I’ll get it from her. And since Rae has just broken up
with me, or at least it sounds as though she has, I’d be well
within my rights as a free agent to ask for more.

I frown.

Rachel frowns.

Suddenly, the memory of
Rae, playing her guitar and singing the song she’d written about me
comes to mind. That’s what I want.

I smile.

Rachel smiles.
“Well?”

I hand Rachel my glass and
shove my phone into my pocket. “How do you feel about
poetry?”

*** *** ***

Violet

So I had been right. This
is exactly what it means to date in the real world.

No handlers, no parents or
managers, or producers even, intervening when you have a fight and
making you sing together so you remember what it was that brought
the two of you together in the first place.

Nothing at all, but his
words and my words. His assumptions and mine.

I stare at the image of
Cole on my phone. But maybe, despite the pinch in my heart that
threatens to turn into vise, he was exactly what I
needed.

Rubbing my hand over my
chest, I let the tears fall again. At least this time I’m crying
over a guy.

Sniffing, I toss the phone
on my dresser and pad to the kitchen to defrost thick slices of
chocolate layer cake. I’m an adult and I’m allowed to sleep in
until noon, then have dessert for lunch.

But before I can even get
to the freezer, the phone rings. I don’t want to answer it, but if
I don’t, and then Nana doesn’t then, there’s the very real
possibility that my parents will fly down here.

I click the talk button.
“Hello?”

“
This is Georgia from
Forrestville Elementary and I have a sweet little girl sitting with
me. We got out of school early and no one was at the Morgan house,
and since Kelly is in Kindergarten, the bus driver’s required by
law to bring her back to school.”

“
Cole can’t come get
her?”

“
He’s not on the approved
list.”

“
List?”

“
Look honey, I’d love to
keep talking but someone is getting s-c-a-r-e-d that no one is
c-o-m-i-n-g. Can you come get her, Ms. Givens?”

Oh crap. She thinks I’m
Nana. Guess they don’t put ages down. “I’d be happy to come get
her….” But I’m not supposed to drive. All I have is my ID, enough
to prove who I am but that’s but it.

“
Oh thank you.” Her voice
lowers. “We can’t find Kelly’s mother at all. The bus driver went
to the door and knocked, even tried around back. And Parker, bless
his heart, is south of Charlotte. He said to call you.”

To hell with my probation.
No child should be left by themselves, wondering when someone will
pick him or her up. “Give me the address.”

***

By the time I arrive at
school, check Kelly (who somehow remembers to call me Violet Rae)
out and get her all buckled in, I’m a hot mess.

Literally.

I’m sweating and shaking,
suddenly over-whelmed that I have no business driving at all. The
thought of driving makes me nauseas, and I’m still in awe of the
fact that I managed to get here in one piece or without a cop
stopping me and hauling my law breaking self to jail.

“
Can we stop for ice
cream?”

I turn the key. The engine
roars to life. Step one complete. “We have ice cream at
home.”

“
What about the park? Can
we go there and swing?”

Pressing on the break and
the clutch, I put the truck in reverse, then stomp on the gas. The
truck half lurches, half jumps backwards.

“
We’ll play with the
kitties at my house and I’ll take you for a walk.” Assuming we make
it there. I’m not sure if I can get the darn thing out of reverse
and into first gear.

“
Okay. But first I have to
have a snack and do my homework. Then we have to read. Then I have
to practice my ballet. Then I have to…”

I half listen to Kelly, her
chatter actually helping me focus. When I pull the truck out onto
the highway in front of the school, I let out a cheer

So does Kelly.

“
Can we listen to
music?”

I nod. “You pick the
station.”

Fifteen minutes later, I’m
pulling into the driveway and parking under the carport. “Ready to
get a snack?”

Kelly doesn’t answer. I
turn towards her, finding her head back, mouth wide open and eyes
shut.

Careful not to wake her, I
unbuckle my seatbelt, get out of the truck and make my way to her
side. In no time at all I have her hoisted on my hip, her little
chubby arms wrapped around me. She smells like sunshine and
crayons.

Not even after I get us
inside do I put her down. Instead I go sit in Nana’s rocking chair
and rearrange Kelly in my lap. I gently pat her back until her body
relaxes against mine.

As I rock, I can’t help but
think of the future children I’ll never have. And I can’t help but
think of that night.

Of me lying broken in a
field, jagged edge of a windshield tearing into my womb and killing
the baby I hadn’t known about.

Chapter
Twenty-One

Violet

I let Parker in the house
around eleven that night. He smiles, big dimples appearing and
takes his knit cap off, golden brown hair all disheveled
underneath. Of course he toes out of his shoes and leaves them by
the door.

Why couldn’t I have met
this brother first? The even-tempered, soft-spoken calm
one.

His skin’s a shade lighter
than his hair and he has hazel eyes instead of Cole’s blue. One
thing’s for sure, no matter who their dads might be, the Morgan
boys are handsome as all get out.

“
Sorry, I’m so late,” he
says in a low voice. “Cole never showed and I had to figure out
payroll with Jane.”

“
That seems so unlike
him.” Though it could be exactly like him. I’m not sure anymore. I
would have thought that after two days of his mother being gone and
me volunteering to watch Kelly after school and while Parker’s at
his different jobs, he would have called before now. “Aren’t you
getting worried?”

Parker’s smile fades.
“Yeah, but he’s with Beau, so…I guess we all deserve a break now
and then.” He looks around. “Where’s the Bug?”

“
Asleep in bed.” He
follows me to the guestroom. Kelly’s sprawled out on the mattress,
wearing one of my t-shirts. Her hair is still damp from the bath
I’d given her earlier that night. I’ve left the lamp on beside the
bed so the monsters won’t get any ideas and try to sneak up on her.
“Why don’t you let her spend the night and come get her in the
morning, before school?”

“
Guess I could do
that.”

He steps back and I close
the door. We start for the living room, dodging toys along the way.
Suddenly, Parker trips over the Barbie car I’d bought for Kelly and
does this weird hopping move, falling into me. Unable to take our
combined weight, my legs give out and I fall to the floor, Parker
lands on top of me as the back of my head smacks the
floor.

I wince and let out a moan.
“Oh God that hurt.”

“
Sorry, R—”

Suddenly he’s jerked off of
me and I’m staring at the profile of his brother. My heart leaps in
joy.

Stupid heart.

“
Cole!” His name tumbles
from my lips before I can stop it.

*** *** ***

Cole

“
Get your hands off me,”
Parker growls, shoving me away and helping up Rae.

“
How about you keep your
everything off her?” I growl back, hands up and ready to fight. I
really don’t think my brother or Rae were doing anything wrong, but
that was exactly the problem. I didn’t think; I reacted.

“
Cole,” Rae says, this
time her voice is sharp. “Leave him alone. He tripped, tried to
keep me from falling and —” She blows out a breath.“—I really don’t
have to explain any of this to you.”

Parker steps in front of
Rae and takes a closer look at my face. “What the hell happened to
you?”

I let my hands fall to the
side. “Got into a fight,” I mumble. I’ve never been good at keeping
secrets from him.

“
I can see
that.”

Rae pushes past my brother
and marches up to me, her eyes rounding. She gasps. “It’s worse
than before.” She runs from the room and comes back seconds later
with a bag of frozen peas. “Put this on.”

“
Don’t need
it.”

She steps back, hurt
replacing concern and I want to punch myself a thousand times. In
the face. With a hammer. Then maybe I’ll think twice before hurting
her again.

“
Hey,” I say catching her
by the elbow. I stop myself from gathering her up in my arms and
marching us to her bedroom. “Thank you, but it looks way worse than
it actually is.”

She glances at my hand,
then back up at me. “Good.”

I’ve missed her so bad. Two
days away and I’m jonesing for her touch. Her smile, the way she
sounds when I’m inside of her. While I crashed at Beau’s, there
were tons of opportunities to be with other girls, but I kept my
hands, my dick and my mouth to myself.

And now I know it’s because
she has my heart.

“
Can we talk?”

Her eyes soften and I can
only imagine how they look when I tell her how I really feel. Or at
least how I hope to God they look when I tell her.
“Okay.”

Parker clears his throat.
“I hate interrupting this very special Lifetime movie moment, but
Cole,
we
have to
talk. Now.”

I keep looking at Rae, then
stroke her cheek. “No. She’s more important.”

“
I get that. I’m happy for
you, but unless the two of you can survive on love alone, we need
to talk.”

Finally I tear my gaze away
and focus on my brother. “What happened?”

“
Hurricane Crystal turned
into a vacuum cleaner and cleaned us out.”

“
You mean—”

“
The Double Deuce is
broke. I paid everyone, including vendors, but not you and me, with
what was in the safe.”

Our rainy day fund. Gone. I
let go of Rae and sink down on the couch. “What the hell are we
going to do?” Even if I fight again, and that was a big if, there
was no guarantee I’d win and go home with six grand. Plus, I wasn’t
too keen on hanging out with Baldy and Frank on a weekly
basis.

I had come to this
conclusion once the Percocet had worn off and I’d ended up
worshipping at the altar of the porcelain god this morning. For
three hours straight. Dry heaves hurt like a son of a bitch when
your ribs are bruised.

Hell, I’m still shaky from
it.

“
I have a solution,” Rae
says.

Parker turns to her. “No
offense, but I don’t think a bake sale will cut it.”

I give my brother a look.
“Bake sale, really?”

Turning back to me, he
shrugs. “Sometimes I say stupid things. Sue me, why don’t
you?”

“
If I thought I could make
some money off of it, I would.”

“
Boys,” Rae shouts, before
we really get into it. She smiles sweetly as we fix our eyes on
her. “My solution is to have a big name act perform at your
bar.”

I’m already shaking my
head. There’s no way I’d interrupt her privacy. There’s no way I’d
use her like that. “No, I won’t do it.”

“
You wouldn’t want Jaxon
Hunter, the biggest star going now, to come play at The Double
Deuce?” she asks.

I have no idea who he is.
“Uh?”

“
Oh hell yes,” Parker
says, “That one song of his,
Break It Down
for Me Country Girl
, is my jam.” These are
the times I question if my brother and I even have the same mother.
“Hold on. You know Jaxon?”

Rae might not know Jaxon,
but I’m willing to bet my Jeep that Violet Lynn does.

She tips up her chin and
crosses her arms. “Let’s just say the rat bastard owes me. Big
time.”