Live Today (Live Today #1) (24 page)

Jenna, please let me explain, it’s not what you think.

I love you.

Angel, you can’t do this to me without giving me a chance to explain.

Please, please talk to me.

Where are you?

Jenna. Answer me angel. I’m starting to really freak out.

Jenna.

There are so many, don’t even bother reading them. I select all and delete before torturing myself with his messages. I wipe the tear away from my eye before allowing it to fall down my cheek. Knowing I can’t stay in this house any longer, I decide now is the perfect time to pack my bags and stay at the hotel in town. When I finish zipping up my last bag, the door slowly opens. I glance over my shoulder to see who it is.

“Can I have a word?” She walks in with a glass of water and two pills I assume is for my killer headache. “I won’t take long.”

“Yes, yes of course Mrs. Gonzales.” I say, she frowns at my formalities but doesn’t let it bother her.

“Jenna.” She sits on the bed and pats a spot next to her. I push my bag to the side and sit across from her. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, or how to live your life. But I will let you know what I think about this situation.” I close my eyes as she continues. Right now is not the time to hear any motherly advice. Especially since I finally broke down only a few minutes ago with the loss of the mother I never knew.

“I understand why you’re upset dear. I would be too. I would probably have kicked his ass for it.” Okay that shocked me a bit. She smiles at my surprise, “Yes, sometimes even this old poke can curse.” She takes my hand. “Jenna. You really should hear him out. It truly isn’t what you think it is.” She says. Of course she would think this. She has been a part of that child’s life since before birth I assume.

“Frankly, Maria, there’s nothing I think he can say that could change things.” I reply. “He kept something from me for seven years. He knows how important honesty is with Brennan and I. Never once have I lied to Gabriel. Never.” My mind drifts back to before we left to come here and it clicks. “That was why he was afraid to come home wasn’t it?” I ask her, her face softens. “He wasn’t afraid to face you or Mr.… Tony” I change his name as she raises an eyebrow at me. “He was afraid to see his son. Why? He knows what Brennan and I have gone through without a mother and father.” A tear makes its way from my eyelid, she gently wipes it away. “He knows how important family means to us, but he still chose to ignore his own family.”

“It’s not like that dear. If you would just…” I cut her off immediately.

“With all due respect, he had seven years to explain.” I stand immediately, grab my bags and walk out the room. I make my way down the stairs and face my worst nightmare. Gabe stands in the opposite corner from me. Accompanying him are Matt, Ashley, Brennan and Tony who all stand when I make my entrance. It’s apparent, they are standing guard to keep him away from me. Voices from the kitchen draw my attention towards the entry way. Sitting with Emily is LG and Carmen. My blood begins to boil at the sight of her. I turn to look back to the one set of eyes that I’m use to comforting me in times of need, but instead are doing anything but.

“Where’s Drew?” I ask as I break eye contact with him and look at Brennan. Drew must have told him about what was going on since he was looking at me as if I was some one hundred year old china doll. And for once, I actually feel like one. By now, I’m positive they saw me in my drugged and drunken glory on the boat. Still feeling the effects of both, embarrassment and shame sets in.

“He said he would be right back.” He says softly. My eyes make their way back to Gabe’s. His face is blotchy, and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks as bad as I feel. Good that’s what he deserves.

“I’m right here Jems.” Drew says as he comes down the stairs. He takes the bags from my hand and shoulder and tells me he will be back as soon as he loads my car. Maria follows him down the stairs; she remains silent and stands next to Tony.

“Jenna, please let me explain.” Gabe’s whispering cries are loud enough for me to hear from across the room. The look on his face alone is breaking my will into a million of pieces. What I want most is to run into his arms and tell him everything will be okay. But with this new revelation that sits in the other room isn’t something that can be easily forgotten and fixed overnight. Our entire lives shifted on its axis once again and I just don’t know if I can get over something like that.

He takes a step towards me. My body stiffens so noticeably that he stops immediately. Drew makes his way back into the room and stands by me. He slowly takes my hand in his and whispers in my ear that he will not leave my side. I swallow the lump in my throat.

“I have to leave.” Gabe’s face drops and the tears that were brimming have started falling, causing mine to fall as well. The lump returns as I try to continue. “I… I can’t stay here with you right now.”

“Jenna, please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me. I love you so much. Please angel, please let me explain.” He cries. Ashley walks towards him and places her hands on his shoulders for support.

“I love you too Gabriel. That hasn’t changed.” I weep. “But right now, I can’t stand the sight of you.” My chest heaves in pain and my knees go weak as tears fall uncontrollably from my eyes.

Gabe falls to his knees and sobs as well and begs. “Jenna, it’s only ever been you. Can’t you see that? It’s always been you. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I fell so hard, the earth shook.”

My tears well up as I shake my head. “It was an earthquake Gabriel.” He rests his body on his heels as he looks into my eyes with so much sorrow my body begins to shake again.

Drew pulls me into his embrace and speaks for me and about me. “Jenna needs time to process this information Gabe. As her sponsor, not a family member, I am asking you to give her this time. I’m asking this from all of you.” He says. I can tell he’s turned his attention to Brennan. “Brennan, she’s used.” The room goes silent as they all fully comprehend what Drew says. “We have to go back to square one. She needs time to detox. Remember what Mary told us before we left rehab?” He remains quiet for a minute. I can only assume Brennan said yes. “Taking this after so long only heightens the craving. She’s already shaking and getting sick from it.” He caresses my head as he continues as if I wasn’t standing in his arms. “All if it hit her Bren, the accident, Will, your mom, Gabe. It hit her like a brick wall man.”

“Wait.” Brennan speaks up. “Did you just say my mom?” Drew holds me tighter and confirms.

“Yeah, man, I did.”

“Oh shit. Jenna.” I can hear the sorrow in Brennan’s voice as he walks towards me. He doesn’t dare hug me, but I can feel his hand on the center of my back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” Drew interrupts.

“It’s okay Bren. I don’t think she realized it was inside her either.” He tries to release me to Brennan, but I just can’t move. “Look, she needs some time away from everything. I would let you take her. But like I said, as her sponsor, I won’t leave her side until I get the drugs out of her.”

“I get it.” Brennan says leaning into me and kissing my head. “I love you Jems.” He says softly. “Um, just call me later tonight then, when she’s feeling better. Maybe we can meet up for dinner?”

“I will.” Drew says before pulling away from me and taking my hand. We walk towards the door. He turns quickly. “Um, I’ll be taking her phone for a while too. So don’t bother calling her.” He tells Gabe who is still on his knees. “I, um, I’ll call you later.” Then we walk out. We quickly get in the car before I decide to change my mind. Once we have gotten out of the neighborhood he turns and looks at me. “Okay, that went better than I thought. Now what?”

Staring out the window trying to let the tears subside I answer. “Florida.”

“What?”

I turn to look at him. “I need space and time Drew. I need to get away from here right now. I know you said you won’t leave my side, and I appreciate that, but at any given time, I know where to get more. I can’t chance that. Let’s go to Florida.” I demand.

“But what about the guys?” he asks.

“They will only be a few days behind us remember? This gives me some time to deal with things.” He contemplates my offer. “Look Drew, you said you were going to stick by me right now. But you honestly don’t have to. You can either come with me to Florida where we have to go anyways. Or, I can drop you off back at the house and you can ride with them. It’s your choice, but I am going to Florida now, with or without you.” He looks deeply into my eyes. And takes my hand.

“Well then. Let’s get the hell outta here.” He says before turning to the road. We drive into town to fill the car up with Gas. He sends a text to Brennan telling him what we’re doing. He also tells him to not bother following us now, but to give us the time we need. Brennan agrees and insists on us checking in with him often. He says he loves us both and will see us in a week or so. I fill the small ice chest with snacks and drinks.

We get into the car. Buckle our seatbelts and look at each other. “You sure about this?” I take his hand in mine and nod. “Okay then.” He says, putting the car into gear, placing his hand back onto mine and pushes the gas pedal. We drive out of town onto the open highway. Nothing but the sun, sky and open fields before us. I know soon, we will need to talk about everything that’s going on inside my head, but for now, this is what I need. Looking forward and not looking back. I rest my head on the back of the seat as I stare out the window. My mind drifts to sleep shortly after with one person on my mind.

Gabe.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read Live Today.

I hope you enjoyed Jenna’s story.

Of course it won’t stop there.

Keep an eye out for the next book in the Live Today Series!