Live Today (Live Today #1) (20 page)

“Honey, my point is, it’s alright to be scared. The difference is how we handle it. You took a big step of courage when you admitted yourself into rehab. I give you credit for that. My poor Gabriel didn’t know what to do with himself when you were gone. He showed up to see you every day, and they turned him away. I offered to fly him back home until you were released, but he refused. He said it was too far for him to be away from you. He also said when you got out; you cancelled the rest of the tour because it wasn’t the same without William. Sweetie, do you really think Will would have wanted you to go this long? Do you think if he was sitting right here, right now that he would be scolding you?”

“I’m almost positive he would have already had me onstage months ago. But Mrs.…” she scolds me immediately. “Maria,” I smile and correct myself immediately. “I am scared. But on the other hand, it just feels wrong. Will helped create what we have. But this is something that’s important to all of them. Gabriel has been so much at ease these past few days that I just can’t see not doing this for him.” I squeeze her hand. “I love him so much. I need to do this for him. When I woke up, my eyes first saw Brennan, but my heart was searching for Gabriel. I have denied him for so long that it’s become part of who we are. If he was able to get the courage to stick by my side,” I smile at all the cat and mouse memories. “I need to find the courage to do this for him. It means so much to him to have his family see what he’s accomplished, even if he denies it every step of the way.”

“Who’s denying what?” Gabe asks. Maria and I turn to see him leaning against the door frame. “Just came to tell you we’re ready for you. Whenever you are, angel.” He smiles.

Maria takes my cheek in her hand and motions my face away from Gabe’s, I frown slightly. “Don’t just do it for him sweetheart. I know you’ve not had a mother to help guide you in life, but know I’m always here if you ever need to talk. Okay?” I smile at her as a tear falls from my eye. She pulls me into a nice supportive hug and whispers. “Do it for you. You deserve it.” Then she releases me. A Twinkle in her eye shimmers as she hops down. She makes her way to Gabe who is now on his way over towards me. She hugs him and kisses his cheek. “You’ve got something special here, son. Something special indeed.” She says before releasing him and walking into the barn.

“I know Momma.” He says. I swivel my way to the end of the table to hop down. Before I know it, Gabe has me engulfed in his arms.  “What was that about? And what am I denying?”

“Oh a little girl talk.” I say wrapping my arms around his waist and kiss him softly. “You can ask all you want, I’ll never break.” I smile into the kiss. A low rumble escapes him.

“Hmm, sounds like a challenge. Don’t worry angel, I have my ways.” He says matter-of-factly trailing kisses down my neck. I try to keep my breathing steady as his kisses make their way to just below my ear. A slight groan escapes me. “Let me ask again.” He drags his teeth on my earlobe. I whimper. “What am I denying?”

“Um…” Is all I can muster. He chuckles bringing his lips back to mine.

“Maybe later.” He says before taking my face in his hands. “Are you sure about this?” He sighs, “It’s just a song. The boys wanted to do two, but I told them no. I want to get this done and over with. I have some more dancing to do with my girl.” His face lights up.

Bringing my hands to his face, mimicking his moves, I kiss him softly. “I’m sure Gabe.”

“Okay then, let’s do this.” He says lifting me off the table and walking me back into the barn. Once we step through the doors, Bob announces Gabe to sing a song. Brennan takes my hand and helps me onto the stool before handing Gabe’s guitar to him. He leans in and kisses my cheek before winking and walking into position. I turn to look at the remaining band members and they both give me encouraging smiles. Scooting his stool and facing me directly, Gabe turns my stool to face him. My heart is racing. Beads of sweat have formed on the back of my neck. “Hey.” He nudges his knee with mine. “I’ve got you remember?” I blink up at him, he takes his hand and with the back of his fingers, he brushes my cheek. The audience sighs in unison, guess this little public display was just enough to melt their hearts.

“Breathe Jenna. This song is solid. Just let go and give it to them.” He repeats those same words he said when we first sang the song together. Smiling, I take a deep breath and nod. Gabe gives Matt the cue and the song begins.

We gave the town a total of three songs. All three a little toned down and appropriate for the small family style gathering. Once finished, I was pulled into four sets of arms before even getting off the stage. As much as they said they were proud of me, the look in Gabe’s eyes and the eyes of his parents made it completely worth it. Regardless of what his mom had said, I needed to do this for him. Gabe hops off the stage and offers to help me down. Taking his hands and hoping down with his support, he keeps me in his arms before setting me down.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?” he says in my ear.

Hugging him tightly, I reply. “Yes I did.” He pulls away to argue but I immediately place my finger over his mouth. “I did Gabriel. I did it for them,” I shift my head to the boys who are now at the bar. “I did it for you.” He kisses my fingers and smiles. “But, I mostly did it for Will. You all were right all along. He wouldn’t want us to hold off on our future because of him. He wants us to live in the now.” I smile back at him and let a tear escape my eye. “He wants us to live today.” I wrap my arms around his neck as he places me back on my feet. “So I did it for us.”

“Is it always going to be like this?” he asks. I pull back to see his face, my face scrunched up in confusion. He chuckles and kisses me quickly. “Will you always be doing something day in and day out that makes me fall even more deeply in love with you?”

Shrugging my shoulders I giggle. “Gotta keep you on your toes right?” He smiles down at me. “I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary Gabe. I’m still plain old Jenna Munson.”

“Believe me, there’s nothing plain about you.” He says before releasing me and guiding me to the bar. Swatting my ass he mumbles over my shoulder. “Nothing plain.”

After we return back to the table, another set of congratulatory hugs were issued by Gabe’s family. His parents had nothing but pride on their faces when they looked at him, which melted my heart. I excused myself to the restroom as the laughs and conversation continued. After I finished relieving myself and washing my hands, I made my way back to the table but before making it back, my feet stop dead in their tracks. Standing at the table in a fully engulfed hug with Gabe is a woman. She is tall, thin and very familiar. Putting two and two together, I realize this is the ex-girlfriend from the pictures in his room. My eyes trail to Gabe’s to see what kind of expression he has for this woman in his arms. He seems happy to see her, but I can tell by his expression that his eyes are cold. As if on cue, he shifts his eyes to meet mine. I’m not too sure how my face looks but once we make eye contact, his face brightens a bit and he smiles. It warms me knowing that I can draw that kind of emotion from him.

With the sudden surge of courage, I begin to move my feet towards him. He pushes himself out of her arms causing her to pout. Good. She turns to see where he is heading, and as he pulls me to his side, I can’t help but smile. From the corner of my eye, I can see Matt laugh at her expression. I know what he’s thinking.
Score one for Jenna
. I try to hide my smile, but instead, I look over to Matt quickly and give him a wink. He gleams at me in return. Yep, I know my boy’s well.

“Carmen, I would like you to meet my Jenna.” He says with pride. I love the fact that he has introduced me to everyone as his, but introducing me to her as his means so much more. I can’t help but smile brightly at her. “Jenna… This is Carmen.” He says with a little coldness in his voice.

I offer my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” I say.

“It’s very nice to meet you too Jenna. I’ve heard so much about you.” I look up to Gabe in confusion. His face looks just as concerned as mine.

“Funny, I’ve not heard anything about you. I guess you have the advantage over me.” I follow. Matt and Drew both hide an “Ooh”.

Carmen smiles and her perfect smile showing her perfectly straight teeth brighten the room. “Well, I guess I do.” She looks over to Gabe. “I was just going to ask for a dance.”

“Oh, um.” Gabe mutters and looks down to me with help. “I’m not sure…” He turns back to her.

“I’m sorry.” I intervene. “Gabe has promised the next dance to his sister.” As I say it, Ashley’s head turns my way and a sly smile grows on her face. Gabe’s hand spreads a little too far down on my ass than I care to show in a group of his family and friends. I pinch his in warning as I look up at him and raise an eyebrow. His eyes are glowing with the challenge. “And then the following one is mine.” I gleam before returning back to my newly found vixen. “But maybe once we’re done, and it’s not too late, just maybe he can squeeze you in.” Now his hand is fully placed on my ass and he squeezed the moment I mentioned the word.

Carmen’s eyes narrow as she looks me over. I know by looks, I have nothing on this runway model that has a history with Gabe. But that’s all she will have as far as I’m concerned, history. From now on, I will hold his immediate past as I have the last seven years, his present and his future. Her eyes make their way back to mine which are waiting for her response. “Well, maybe later then.” She turns and walks away.

“Dayum.” Matt says from across the way. “You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl. Jems, you are my hero.” He laughs.

“Shut up Matty.” I say proudly and smile.

Gabe walks past me laughing as he pats me on the ass again. “That’s my girl. But,” he offers his hand towards his sister. “I believe I may have made a promise?” She smiles and releases Brennan’s hand.

“I guess you did.” She looks towards me as she stands. “Nicely done Jenna, I never liked the woman from the word go.” She says as they make their way towards the dance floor. After her dance we make good on our unrehearsed promises and finish the night off with dancing, drinking and laughter.

~~~

The next morning moves slowly for us all. My entire body is sore in places I didn’t even know existed. I guess it’s time to get back into shape soon. I lie on the couch and wait for Maria and Matt to finish preparing breakfast. Gabe and Emily sit across me as she tells him about the current gossip in town. Ashley and Brennan have taken the swing out back. I can’t help but smile. Drew, who has offered to be my pillow, is looking down at me. When I realize he is watching me, I smile up at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” He says. I turn and smack him on the arm. He chuckles and continues. “No, it’s really nothing. It’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this content before. I like it.”

“I’m always content. It’s when you guys usually mess with me that changes that.” I joke.

He laughs harder. “Okay, Okay, I get it.” Then his face turns more serious. “Hey, are you ever going to tell us where you hid the Nerf guns?” I laugh as I shake my head at him. “Thought so.” He laughs. Maria comes into the living room and announced that breakfast is ready. We all migrate to the kitchen and soon we fill our bellies with enough energy to last us throughout the day.

We have spent the morning running around town picking up a few things we needed for tonight’s show. Once the said items were dropped off backstage, we all decided to take advantage of the fair’s attractions. I spent most of the time on the Ferris wheel reasoning with Gabe in regards to Brennan and Ashley. Let’s say that would have been our first argument as a couple. One that I can proudly say I won as well. He offered his apology as he won me an oversized teddy bear that was holding a pink heart with the writings
“I Love You”
on the center of it. I gladly took it and I also insisted on warning him that no more apologies were needed.

As we made our way to the huge bungee jump, we all stop. Brennan decides to be a smart ass at this moment because he knows I am not particularly a fan of heights by daring me to go on it.

“C’mon Jenna, it’s not that tall. What are you chicken?” He begins to make chicken noises behind me.

“Dude, you know she’s afraid of heights.” Matt pushes Brennan from behind. “That’s fucked up man.”

“She won’t do it Matty. I’m just giving her a hard time for it anyways. She’s too chicken.” Brennan defends himself giving me his evil grin.

“You don’t think I will do it?” I ask.

“I know you won’t.”

“Jenna, you don’t have to. Let’s go.” Gabe says taking my hand in his as he attempts to pull us away from the crane.

“No. What’s in it for me Bren?” I challenge. He shrugs.

“I don’t know,”

I take a step towards him as he takes an instinctive step back. “Tell you what big brother. Since I know you are just as afraid of heights as I am, I challenge you to go on with me. Whoever chokes first has to be a personal slave for a day.” His eyes narrow at me.

“Okay chicken. Let’s do this.”

“They aren’t serious, are they?” Ashley asks Gabe in fear that we might follow through with it.

Gabe sighs before answering. “Yeah sis, they are. Once a challenge is made, there’s no turning back.” He makes his way towards me before lifting me into his arms. “You are crazy you know that?” I smile nervously and agree. I have no clue how I’m going to follow through with this, but I will. He kisses me swiftly before setting me back down. I turn to Brennan.

“Ready?” I offer my hand. He grabs it. His clammy hand pulls me towards the cashier.

“Two please.” Brennan pays him the fees and we get in line.

Once we have been strapped up in the harness just about everywhere imaginable, we take a step onto the crane. Brennan’s face is ghost white as the tech locks us in. I’m pretty sure I don’t look much different than he does. We wave at the group as the crane comes to life. Matt has his phone out filming the entire thing. As we get halfway to the top, Brennan’s grip on the rail tightens so much, he’s white knuckling it.

“What’s the matter Brennan? Scared?”

“I don’t think I can do this Jems.” His scared tone almost breaks my heart. Almost.

“You are the one who started this.” I say anything to distract him during our rise.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you would go through with it.” He closes his eyes tightly as we make our way to the top.

“When will you learn big brother, that you should never call me chicken?” I say. The crane comes to an abrupt halt. My hands are firmly gripping the railing as well now.

“Let’s call it a draw then?” He begs.

“Are you saying you give?” I smile in victory as his body trembles. Finally after a few moments to gather his thoughts he says yes. “I knew you would. But to be perfectly honest Brennan. I didn’t come this far to back down now.” My sudden surge of courage runs through my body as I take his hand in mine. He shakes his head erratically at me.

“Jenna, don’t. I give. I’ll be your slave for a day. Let’s just go back down together.”

              That’s when I made a huge mistake of looking down. When I spot the guys and Ashley, they wave at me with encouragement. I look over at the tech that lifted us up and take a deep breath. “You’re gonna have to push me.” He swings open the door and guides me where to stand. My heart feels as if it’s pounding in my throat. This has got to be the single, most scariest thing I have ever done in my life. He encourages me to release my hands and cross them over my chest. Shakily I comply.

              “When I say three, okay?” I take a deep breath and wait. “One, Two…..” And he pushes me. I don’t scream, which is a good thing since I have to sing later, but that’s not the reason. Fear has completely set in and I couldn’t get my senses to do anything but hold on tight to my own body. After I made the first bounce, I opened my eyes and looked down. Through my hair, I was able to look back down towards earth to see Gabe, Matt and Drew. They were all cheering at my victory.

              Once I was lowered to the ground, I had no choice but to lay there for a minute. The earth never felt so good in my life. The guys come running to me congratulating me as Brennan makes his way back down on the crane with the tech. Once he steps onto the ground, he comes to my feet and bows. “Jenna, you are my hero. I’m not worthy.” He says. I laugh at him and tell him to get up.

About an hour has passed before we run into Carmen once again. She mentioned she was looking for LG, whoever that was. I assume LG is an old friend or a boyfriend of hers. Gabe’s face paled and went cold when she mentioned LG. Something is obviously up with this LG guy. Makes me wonder what happened between them after all. He coldly dismisses her and says he hasn’t seen anyone and we couldn’t help her because we had to get backstage. Which was true, I guess time does fly when you’re having fun.

~~~

Once backstage, I find myself standing in the hallway pacing from one end to the other. I’m not scared by any means to perform. I think what I’m feeling is guilt. I just wish I could talk to him one more time, listen to his voice as he tells me everything will be okay. Fear is not the factor in my nerves anymore. They haven’t been since I was a child and we played a dozen shows. No, this feeling in my gut is pure guilt. Everything in the last year plays in my head up until the accident. My chest aches knowing if it wasn’t for me, then we would all be together, playing happily and still living in LA.

“You’re wrong you know?” Matt says causing me to jump out of my thoughts.

“What?” I ask looking over to him. He’s leaning against the hallway with his arms crossed looking straight at me. “How long have you been there?”