Live Today (Live Today #1) (8 page)

We remain in each other’s arms until Drew returns. I’ve had more than a handful of drinks by this time and am not sure of my surroundings. Gabe refuses to leave my side. He even went out of his way to stand outside the bathroom stall while I went pee to assure no one got close to me. He had told me that his eyes did not leave the bathroom door the entire time I was in there earlier. This protective instinct I’m sure is natural due to what had happened last time at the club. By the time we made it to the car, I could barely keep my eyes open. The last thing I remember is saying hi to Drew.

I wake up the next morning in my bed with an arm around my waist. My body immediately freezes as I open my eyes and look down. I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, when I notice that I’m fully dressed. Looking over to my left, a sleeping Gabe is also fully dressed. What happened last night? The last thing I remember was dancing, lots of it with Gabe. Slowly I get out of bed, making sure I don’t wake him. I make my way to my bathroom to shower quickly.

The water runs down my body as I begin to remember the night before. I remember dancing, drinking, Justin and Gabe. Visions of Gabe run through my head as I remember the dancing, and Gabe’s hands. Oh God, what have I done? I have crossed the line big time with him. I know nothing technically happened but we might as well have been fucking in public with how we moved together and touched each other. I need to get out of here.

I need just a few days to think, maybe a week. God, I don’t know. I need to get Gabe out of my heart. If Brennan ever finds out how attached we actually are, he will kill both Gabe then me. I finish washing and step out quietly, hoping Gabe is still sleeping. With the towel wrapped around my body like a vice, just in case he’s awake, I gently turn the knob to the bathroom door. I remind myself to buy a bathrobe just in case something like this happens again.

Pulling the door open, I peer over to the bed. He hasn’t moved. Slowly and carefully, I tip toe and make my way to the side table to pull out a handful of panties and bras. As I slowly walk over to the dresser, I toss the panties and bras on the floor of my walk in closet. My duffle bag is still on the floor from my drive up here. I’ll just throw everything in there while Gabe sleeps. Gathering the clothes I need from my dresser, I hold them to my chest and walk into my closet, quietly closing the door behind me. I dress quickly before loading the bag with necessities. Whatever I forget to bring, I can just buy wherever I end up.

Gabe is still asleep when I open the door. I carefully open the drawer of the side table he is sleeping near and pull out my notebook I keep close by for writing. Gently I decide to run my fingers through his hair so softly, he didn’t budge. I decide to take a leap of faith and lean down by his ear and whisper goodbye to Gabriel and kiss his cheek. He only rolls over in response softly saying my name, making my heart flutter and cringe at the same time.

Taking my notebook, and bag, I walk into his room and leave him a note and lay it on his bed.

Gabriel,

              I’m not sure what’s going on between us, but I think we have gone too far. Things are getting too confusing for me. We need to try and keep a safe distance from one another to keep the band from falling apart. Last night shouldn’t have happened. The feelings I have for you are getting stronger and I need to stop them before something drastic happens. I love you more than I should and it truly scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to be another notch on your belt. Please forgive me. I’m sorry, but this cannot happen again.

Always,

Jenna

I can hear the guys messing around in the pool this morning as I make my way downstairs. Since Gabe’s bedroom door and mine were both closed, they probably assumed we were in our own beds. I grab my bag that I packed as quickly as I could, take the note I made to Brennan when I was up in Gabe’s room saying:

Bren,

I know it’s sudden, but I seriously need to clear my head. Give me a few days, maybe a week or two. IDK!! I'm all fucked up. Don't look for me, I won’t be found. There's a book in the studio with some work for you guys to tweak. I look forward to working on it when I get back. I'm sorry. Give me time. No drugs, I promise! 

Love you

Jems

               I take the note, fold it up. I walk back upstairs to tape it to his door with the letter B on the outside. Walking downstairs, I look out the glass window to the pool. A tear escapes my eye as I see my boys having a good time. Whispering "I love you guys" I continue to make my way to my Kia Soul, load the back with my bag and guitar. I take my seat behind the wheel and take a deep breath, clenching my hands around the steering wheel before exhaling and putting it in reverse. 

               I get about 30 minutes away when my phone pings, automatically I know its Brennan. I pull to the side of the road and pick up the phone and read the text, surprisingly I have two texts. I must not have noticed Gabe’s. I decide to read Gabe’s before Brennan’s.

             
Jenna, Call me. You can’t just leave things with a note. I don’t know what’s so confusing. If two people have deep feelings for each other, isn’t that enough? Please call me angel. Gabriel

I get it Jenna. Please promise me you'll check in morning and night. One week is all I will allow. Don't make me go grey before 30 Jems. We will work on your lyrics and will be ready for you when you come back. ILY!!!! Bren

               I know he is waiting for a response, but I just can't seem to muster up one. Powering off the phone, I pull ahead onto the interstate and continue my way to wherever I'm headed.

The concierge gives me my room key. He’s a handsome young boy who is trying his hardest to flirt with me. Sadly, I’m not in the mood for it, so I decide to ignore him.

"Do you guys have safety deposit boxes here?" I ask him.

               "We do, it is complimentary for our special guests." He says with a mischievous smile. I find myself rolling my eyes at him.

               "Great." grabbing my phone from my purse, I hand it to him so he can put it in for me, giving me enough time to get away...

"Will I have access to it at all times?"

"Yes Ma'am," he hands me another key which is to the box "through those doors, is the safety boxes. You can come and go at your leisure."

               "Perfect" I grab my keycard and make my way to the elevator. Holding the keys in my hands as I make my way to my room, I walk through the door letting it close on its own behind me. I place my bag and guitar on the love seat by the door and walk straight to the kitchen. I grab a bottle of vodka and cranberry that’s waiting for me. At least they got my request right since I called ahead just after leaving the house.

               Lying on the bed, drink in hand, I decide to turn on the TV. I flip through the stations until I come across something worth watching. "Dirty Dancing." With a slight shrug, I toss the remote to the foot of the bed and watch the movie. I know I'm going to get shit for not telling Brennan where I am or that I'm okay, but he will live. I need this time for me. Losing Will, Rehab, moving up here, it’s all just so much change in such a short time. And now Gabe. I just need to find my inner Zen so I can get this record done that I promised Will that we would finish.

We are supposed to go on tour soon, actually, we were supposed to be already touring but I just cannot take that step yet without Will. I know soon enough, I am going to have to pull myself together and stand back on that stage, and I know I’m stalling by prolonging this album. This is the only time I will be able to get away. No men, No phones, No nothing. Speaking of no men, I make a mental note to make sure I delete Justin from my phone. Then I need to decide what to do about Gabe. 

"Ugh Jenna, get a grip! Stop thinking and just relax!" I tell myself. Pouring myself another glass and grabbing the room phone, I confirm my appointment for a full body massage first thing in the morning and place an order for lunch and dinner. A complete day or two or maybe even three is exactly what I need. I make myself comfy on the bed and watch the show until I end up falling asleep.

Gabriel

Walking into the lobby from the pool at the hotel, I take my key to the safe from my handbag and make my way to my box. It’s been a good week since I’ve been here. I decide to check my messages. Taking my phone from the safety deposit box, I power it on and check my messages as I walk back to my room. In the elevator, I see texts from Brennan, Matt, Gabe and Drew. The ones from Brennan are the typical “Hey, call me when you can, I’m worried.” Or “Jems, I’m freaking out here, please at least text me!!!” I just don’t get it, I told him I would be away for a while. It’s barely been a week and he’s already sent me over fifty texts, calls and voicemails. Not even bothering to read them all, I shoot a quick text:

Bren, damn, you would think I left the planet or something. I told you I needed some time. Chill a bit ok? No need to put my face on a carton or anything stupid like that. I’ll be home soon. ILY… Jems

               Scrolling thru my other texts, I come upon Gabriel’s as I make it into my room and lounge on the sofa. 

J, your bro is flipping the fuck out. Call or text him please!             

And

Jenna, where the fuck are you? Now you have me worried! You didn’t even give me a kiss goodbye! I miss your lips.

OK. I was kidding about your lips. I actually miss your smile, your body and your, um, well I just miss you!

               Rolling my eyes at that one, I keep scrolling:

Jenna, Oh Jenna… We can’t record without you! Come home angel! Oh yeah, check this link out

It’s the link to Justin Timberlake’s song “Like I Love You”. So I send him a reply laughing:

Gabe, when will you realize it will never happen between us? I thought you liked your testicles?!? I miss you too, nice song. Be home soon. I’ll text when I leave here okay? Xo Jems

               Instantly my phone buzzes:

One: Your lips on mine last week said something completely different about us.

Two: I only need one testicle to create a child…… 
 AND

Three: OH EM GEE... Did you just send hugs and kisses? YES!!! I do have a chance!!! Haha. Where the hell are you anyways? I will meet you there! I know you’re all wrapped around that douche you met, but he isn’t here for you! I am.

               Shit, I have done my best to not think of anyone. Now he has me wondering why I even bothered checking my phone in the first place.

             
Still Waiting Jems……… and waiting….

Laughing at him I reply

I’m at a spa, and I am in Seattle. That’s enough info for you! You rat on me, and you WILL have No testicles left, and Brennan will have nothing to do with it!!!!!

              
Oooohh kinky! I like it! Ha 

Followed by
:

No seriously, come home soon or I will come and get you!

Geez, he never stops does he? Tossing the phone on the other side of the sofa, I walk my way to the kitchen area, grabbing a drink from the mini fridge and think back to the day I met Gabriel Gonzales.

              
Sitting at the kitchen table, pen in hand, writing some lyrics down, the front door opens, “Jenna! Where the hell are you?” is all I hear, without even looking around for me.

               “I am in here, God, what’s wrong?” I ask almost concerned, knowing he is probably bluffing with his excitement like he always does. 

               “Are you decent?” I hear him ask as he pokes his head in the kitchen. Really? When am I ever not decent? “Good you are.” He walks in and following him is um, wow. Looking from the floor up, I see a pair of Doc Martins. Trailing my eyes upwards, I follow a set of ripped blue jeans fitting nice and snug, black belt. Noticing the tightness of his white shirt around his chest, I think my chin literally drops as my eyes slowly make their way to his face. The smirk looking back at me, eyeing me up in return makes me shiver.

“Hey.” His husky voice calls out. I swallow, like a fool staring at him. He completes the typical tall dark and handsome physique. Um, where’s my voice, Oh here it is. “Hey.” is all I can come up with. Whoever this man is standing in my kitchen has officially taken my breath away. Not to mention what he is doing to my body. I suddenly feel a sense of heat coming from the core of my belly. Unexpectedly, a hand smacks the back of his head.

“Don’t even think about it! She’s my sister you fuck!” Brennan smarts off immediately. Yeah, that’s Brennan. No one looks touches or thinks about his baby sis. He looks over to me and glares. “God Jems, put your tongue back in your mouth.” 

               Snapping me out of my trance, I immediately flip him the bird. “Fuck off Brennan. What do you want anyways? I’m working.” 

“Meet our newest member. This is Gabe.” Looking back at Gabe and me, “Gabe Jenna, Jenna Gabe” Gabe, he looks like a Gabe. I wonder if it’s short for Gabriel. He is looking at me as if he wants to take a bite out of me. And if Brennan wasn’t standing in the room, I probably would let him.

“Um, Bren. Don’t you think it should be a group decision?” I inquire kind of pissed at him for not asking first, but can’t find the strength to take my eyes off of the new member standing in front of me.

“Well, yeah about that. You are kind of outnumbered sis.” That is when I break eye contact with Gabe and cock my head towards Brennan encouraging him to continue.

“Last night when you were out on your “date” or whatever it was, Matt, Will and I were at this club, well Matt never showed up, but anyways. Gabe here was playing his guitar, and Jems, if you would have heard the man, you would agree. He is sick Jenna!”

Shrugging and rolling my eyes “Whatever, I believe you, can I get back to work now?” glancing over at the new guy, I blush when I notice he hasn’t taken his eyes off of me, “Nice to meet you, Gabe? Right?” Nodding, taking a step forward, extending his hand for me to shake.

“Gabriel, Gabriel Gonzales. And it is very nice to meet you.” He says with a half-smile on his face. I think my toes are curling at this very moment. I reach my hand up to meet his and I literally feel goose bumps rising. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brennan shaking his head and rolling his eyes. Oh this will be fun. I smile sweetly at Gabe. Taking my time shaking his hand, I do my best to ignore the slight shock of electricity that just seared thru me.

“I can’t wait to work with you Gabriel.” His eyes shoot down to my lip that I just so happen to be biting down on before he gets shoved out of the room.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Brennan says. I can’t help but laugh at Brennan, Gabe begins to chuckle.

“What?” he asks.

               “We’re leaving, like now!” Brennan looks back at me. “Garage in thirty minutes and bring your work.” He glares at me as I laugh and nod. This will be a lot of fun. 

Come to find out, Gabriel Gonzales is from Small Town Kansas. I swear, if it wasn’t for his olive skin and honey brown eyes, I would have thought he was Clark Kent. Gabe has the classic
“I came to Hollywood to make it somewhere”
story. He hated where he grew up and he says he hates his family but deep down I know he loves and misses them all badly.

We have had our quiet moments where he tells me bits and pieces about his upbringing and his parents. He has two sisters, one older and one younger, both of which he absolutely adores. I can tell because whenever he mentions them, his eyes begin to sparkle. He misses them the most. He is always sending pictures through texts. They think he and I are dating because most of the pics have me in them. It does not help that we usually spend every waking moment together.

              But that is a chapter that will never be opened or at least I’ve tried to keep it that way. Gabe is a player, never mind the fact that Brennan has threatened to take his right testicle from him if he even thought about laying a finger on me. I just don’t know about Gabe. Not knowing where he has been is kind of scary. I mean, I’ve only seen him going out on a few dates, and he’s never brought any girls back to the house, so I assume he simply uses and leaves them.

I’m not going to lie, there is definitely chemistry between Gabe and I, more than I care to admit. There has been since the moment he stepped foot in my kitchen. But I just can’t think about him in that way. As much as my heart tells me to take that leap of faith, my mind tells me to steer clear of him. He’s dipped his stick too many times for me to count anymore. And yes there was a time where I was counting, but I will never admit it to him that I was. 

               Gabriel Gonzales keeps me on my toes, without even trying, I always find myself making a little more of an effort to make him notice the small things. Whether it’s to make him upset, or to see how much he notices, he is always paying attention. He always knows when I’m down, and I know when he is too. He’s my own personal goofball. There usually isn’t a day that goes by that he is not trying to make me smile. He’s even gone on stage in one of my string bikinis when I was having a PMS moment. I almost died that day. 

               Not realizing, I had drifted off, I hear a knock on the door. Hmm, I don’t remember ordering room service yet. I slowly walk to the door and look thru the peephole. Taking a second look, I can’t believe my eyes. Gabriel Gonzales is standing on the other side of the door.

“How did you find me Gabe? And what the hell are you doing here?” I ask into the door.

               “Open Up! I came to see you.” He says leaning against the wall across from my door. He has his foot resting on the wall and his arms crossed. I can tell he’s holding he note I left him last week.  He’s wearing a black t-shirt and my favorite jeans.

               “How the hell did you find me?” I ask again. “Go away!” I yell, not really wanting to know the answer.

Gabe pushes off the wall, looks straight into the peephole. “Are you going to let me in? Or are you going to hold a full blown conversation through a door?” 

“A conversation like this sounds great.” I say sarcastically. He simply crosses his arms again and stares at the door with his head cocked. Sighing deeply,
Fuck
! I open the door, leaning onto the jam but open it slightly so I can hide behind the door and keep it as closed as possible. “What do you want Gabe?” He pushes the door open, and takes me by the waist. He lifts me up as he steps in.

“Not in the fucking hallway Jenna.” He says as he shuts the door behind him with his foot before taking me by the waist to the couch.

“I can walk on my own Gabe.”

              “I know I just want to hold you a bit.” He says smiling, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “I told you I missed you.”

“Gabe” I say with a guarded tone pulling my face away from his. I have spent all week to get my mind off of this connection, to only have it return in full force and stronger. 

               “When will you admit that there’s something here?” he looks into my eyes “You know there’s something between us, I can feel it and I know you can too.” I know he’s right, I do feel it too. I just know that admitting it would cause trouble for us all. I push him off of me, sitting on the end of the couch with my knees to my chest

“Oh, I bet that gets all the girls right?” I say sarcastically. “Did it ever occur to you that
that
is the reason why I will never admit it to you?” He plops down beside me with a dumfounded look on his face and he huffs.

“Are you fucking shitting me Jenna? I didn’t believe it when I read it last week, and I don’t believe it now. You weren’t kidding were you?” I shake my head at him. He looks at me as if he is keeping something from me. All of the guys have when it comes to Gabe now that I think of it. They all change the subject whenever I mention Gabe and all his minion women.  “If that’s all it takes, then I’ll become the fucking Pope! I’m only with those girls to get my mind off of you.” 

               “Oh my God. Really? Gabe?” I can’t believe he just said that. “That’s just sick to know you are mind fucking me while you’re doing every girl in existence. I can’t believe you sometimes” I say, resting my head on my knees looking at him in disgust. Sometimes I just don’t know what I see in him. “What do you want Gabriel? The sooner you tell me, the sooner you leave, the sooner I can get back to relaxing”

               “We leave together angel, I took a cab so your brother didn’t follow me.” I was about to say something before he finished. “Don’t worry I took care of that too. I told him I needed to take care of some unfinished business.”

               “He’s not stupid Gabriel. I can guarantee you he knows that you came straight here. Plus, I don’t plan on going back today. So what? You plan on staying here?” he grins and nods “Oh No. You. Don’t!!!” he laughs. “NO!” I stand up walking towards the door “No! Go Now!” He grabs me by the waist again, this time landing me on his lap. I cannot explain how it feels to be this close to him.

“I came all the way over here for you angel that’s all, unless of course you want to do a bit more.” He leans in kissing the back of my neck. And stupid me, lets him.

               “Gabe” I whisper, still not moving to protest as I should, but I tilt my head to allow him easier access. God how much I missed his touch. “We can’t.” I try to stay strong, but who am I kidding? I’ve wanted this for as long as he has. “You will lose a testicle.” I say. He chuckles and continues kissing and nibbling his way to my earlobe.