Live Today (Live Today #1) (6 page)

I’m about 15 minutes away I think. Dying! Hope Matt’s got some good grub!!!

I put my phone in my pocket as I pick up speed. If Justin wants to contact me, he can be the one to do so. He has my number. Let’s just hope he does before we all get new numbers. My pocket vibrates, I pull it out hopeful it’s a text from him. With slight disappointment, it’s from Brennan.

Walk faster Sis. Shit smells Delish. B

UGH. I quickly begin to walk faster when suddenly a car honks behind me causing me to jump out of my skin. Turning in fear, I notice its Brennan and Gabe.

“You dickhead! You scared the shit out of me.” Brennan laughs as Gabe pulls to the curb.

“Get in Jems, we’re all waiting on you.”

Climbing into the back seat of the White Escalade, “You could have just called me you know?”  I reach over and smack both of them on the back of their heads.

Gabriel rubs his head, “Hey! I fucking told him to call you!”

Laughing at him I reply, “Well you honked right? So I don’t take it back! Let’s just go. I’m starving.” I say as he pulls away towards the house. I rest my head on the headrest and look out the window while my mind races.

After dinner, we decided to take the night off and relax by the pool. Brennan and Matt were in the Jacuzzi talking about the studio. Drew was sitting in the lounge chair, talking to his mom I think. Gabe and I are floating around. Our feet are intertwined with each other so we can float together. We’re both on our phones. He sends his sisters pictures all the time. As much as he says he doesn’t miss his family, I know he misses his sisters the most.

I am playing a word game with a few girlfriends back at home. I try not to communicate to them much because they always had the tendencies to help me feed my addiction, so I keep my contact with them to a minimum. Sometimes when I need help with a word, he will pull his float over next to mine, grab my phone while I take his and solve the problem. I scroll through his texts with his sisters, and delete the messages he gets from all his girlfriends. He thinks I’m just jealous, can’t say it doesn’t bother me. It just doesn’t bother me as much as he thinks it does. I tease him, telling him he’s going to catch something one day. He just laughs and shakes his head.

“Oh hey look.” He says looking up at me. “You have an incoming text.”  I hold my hand out waiting for him to hand me my phone.

“Here” I offer his phone waiting for him to give mine back. He holds it further away.

“Is this?” He looks over to me. “I think it’s that tool from the studio. What’s his name again? Ahh right, Justin.” Great! Out of all times for him to call or text, it has to be when my phone is in Gabriel’s hands. “Oh look, it is.” He says fluttering his eyes sarcastically. Then he reads it. “Hey Jenna. Justin here, not sure what happened earlier at the studio, but maybe we can start over. Hit me up if you’re interested.” He looks over at me. “Delete.”

“Gabriel Gonzales, if you don’t give me my phone, I will make your night a living hell!” I threaten. Listening to the chuckle from behind me, I growl, turning and giving them a death glare, “Not funny guys.”

“Actually, I think it’s pretty damn funny if you ask me.” Gabe chuckles. Taking my phone and tossing it over to Drew before looking at me. His eyes bulge when he realized where my hand is.

“Jenna. Hand me my phone.” He says sternly. I’ve got his phone dangling about an inch over the water.

“How funny was it Gabe?” I narrow my eyes at him before showing him my evil grin. “What was it that you said? Oh yes. Pretty damn funny.” I begin to lower his phone in the water. He begins to get off his float. “Ah, Ah, Ah. You don’t want to rock the boat do you?”

“Don’t even think of it Jenna Munson.” He says.

“Now, now, say it nicely” I tease.

“Jenna, angel, please give me my phone back.” He pleads with worry. I lower my hand a little bit more. I can hear the guys busting up behind me. I know I’m going down for this. But hell, it’s completely worth it.

“Fuck me! Jenna!” He yells at the same time I say, “Oops.” I let my fingers go. PLOP goes the phone. Before I know it, the phone gets picked up, thrown out of the pool, and as I try to make my get away, I’m pulled under. Laughing under the water with the look of fury in Gabe’s eyes, I try to wiggle my way away from him. That’s a lost cause; I come up to the surface and yell for help before getting pulled back down. I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and become dead weight. If I’m going down, so is he. Wrapping my legs around his waist, he pushes up from the bottom of the pool for a new breath.

“You’re so going to pay for that angel.” He says with an angry grin. I know he can’t stay mad at me for too long, especially with the angelic smile I keep offering.

“I think you just paid….” I get taken under again. This time, he holds on to me tight, looking at me under the water with lust in his eyes. I can feel his excitement between my legs, my heart skips a beat. Then he brings his lips to mine. I stiffen for a quick second before relaxing in his arms. There’s no way I can do anything, since he’s got me held captive under water, so I just go with it.

Out of nowhere, we feel and hear a splash right beside us. Breaking his hold from me before anyone noticed. Looking over as we make our way back to the surface we see Matty.

“What was that I just saw?” he asks teasingly as we try to catch our breath. I look over to Brennan who isn’t laughing much anymore. Gabe starts laughing. I push away from him splashing, angry and embarrassed.

I mutter “nothing.” I swim my way over to Brennan. And repeat myself. “Nothing Brennan.” He just glares and shrugs. I climb in the hot water and sit next to him. Bringing my eyes up to a laughing Gabe and Matt only boils my blood even more.

“Let it go Jems. They are just messing with you.” He ways as he drapes his arm over my shoulder so I can lean into him. “I know nothing happened.” I close my eyes as I relax a bit more under his arm. Oh if he only knew what happened under the water.

“Hey Jems, we’re running to the store, the fridge is empty, you want to come with?” Matt asks me when he grabs his wallet and keys from the box sitting by the front door in the living room.

“No. Thanks anyways. I’m going to try to get some of these boxes taken down today.” I answer unexcitedly. I’ve put this chore on hold for too long. They have been sitting in the corner of the living room for over two months now.

“K. I’ll pick up some of your favorite stuff for you okay?” He says with a smile.

I smile in return and decide to follow him out to the car. He gets in, closes the door and rolls down the window. “You can do me one favor though.” I say leaning against the door.

“Yeah, sure anything you need.” Matt replies.

Leaning on the door, I look over to Gabe who’s still pouting about losing his phone from last month. He got it back, but it did get slightly damaged in the water.  “I need you to go to the phone store and pick up our new phones.” Gabe turns his neck to look me in the eyes.

“You’re serious?” his eyes gleam with excitement as he asks. I just smile and wink before pushing off the car and walking back. “Jenna!” I continue walking towards the house when suddenly I hear a door slam behind me. Gabe comes running up to me. “Was that a sick joke?”

I cock my head to the side, place my hands on my hips and raise my eyebrows. “Did it look like a sick joke to you?” He raises one side of his mouth up trying to hide his smile he usually saves for my eyes only. I bite my bottom lip. That smile always draws me in and he knows it.

“You did that on purpose that night didn’t you?” I simply shrug. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I mentioned it. I wanted a fresh start. No one listened” I smile up at him. He’s grinning from ear to ear. “Everyone’s phone is already pre-programmed with all the numbers that were in the old ones, except for mine.” I close my eyes shut. “I’m simply fulfilling another promise Will made me make.
New house, new life, no old contacts.
Well, except you guys and a few of my old girlfriends. No dealers, no guys, just us.” By this time, he has his arm resting at the base of my neck pulling me in for a hug.

“Don’t know how you do it Angel.” He kisses my forehead. “Tell you what. When I get home, I want you to help me delete the contacts on mine okay? Only family, and a few friends are all I need. A fresh start for all of us.” He says. I look up at him in surprise. I just can’t believe he would do that for me. He leans down when Matt honks the horn, kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you!” Coming back up, he smiles and winks before running back to the car.

As I unpack some boxes that we have marked “living room”, I come across a box of old pictures. Setting the albums new and old on the table in front of me I grab the one on the top and set it on my lap. I run my hand over the fabric covering the album and smile. I remember when Brennan and I collected pictures from the house we grew up in and kept them hidden so Dad wouldn't burn them. We turned it into a game of sorts, kind of like keep away. We had them hidden in the second to top step of the stairs until dad decided that he was going to fix the creak. Brennan had looked at me and I looked at him, then suddenly we were on our feet running towards the stairs to find a new spot. I tore open the back of the couch and slid them under there for a while. That didn’t last very long. One day Brennan and Matt were wrestling in the living room and Matt had body slammed Brennan onto the couch and out they slid. Instantly, I crawled behind to retrieve them all before taking them upstairs to my room and hid them between the bed and the box springs. We held them there for about a year until Brennan and dad came home with a new bedroom set for my tenth birthday. My eyes had widened when I realized that they would be seen by dad. Brennan only laughed and mentioned they were in his room.

There was a day when I was about thirteen when instead of practicing, he asked the guys to pick up some stuff to make an album. I had been down that day, and he always knew and still knows how to cheer me up. We sat in the garage for hours that day. We made a photo album for each of us. My heart tightens as memories flood my mind when I turn over the front cover. The first page is Brennan as a baby. Chubby cheeks, baby blue eyes, blond curl on the top of his head. He was the perfect baby, or so what he tells me anyways. I suddenly jump when I hear the door shut from the basement. I look up to the doorway with watery eyes as he enters the room.

“Hey sis,” he says cheerful then he notices my expression. “What’s wrong Jenna?” My throat is knotted up as all I do is shrug. Brennan takes a look at the album on my lap, then sets his guitar down and comes to sit by me, pulling me back onto the couch with him, his arm holding me tightly. “You okay?” He asks softly, I don’t answer him, I continue to look down. “Jems, talk to me. You’ve been relatively quiet since we moved in. Remembered what we promised?” Tears begin to form, I nod. “Okay, then don’t break your promise. I know I’m not Will, but will you let me try.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I rest my head on his shoulder while he pulls the album over so it sits on both our laps and turns the page.

“Don’t you miss it?” Looking up at him, seeing the confusion in his face, I continue looking down at the book “This,” I run my finger over the picture of the two of us swimming in a kiddy pool, he couldn’t have been more than five. “Them, the house, all of it? Brennan, you weren’t even a kid.” I hear Brennan take a deep sigh before he lets go.

“You know what Jems; I have everything I have ever dreamed of. I have you.” He kisses my head as he turns the pages a few times until he stops at the picture of when we both got guitars for Christmas. He was ten. I was six or seven. It didn’t matter that I was too young for a guitar; dad bought the same thing for the both of us. It was “easier” that way he always said. If Brennan got checkered slip on Vans, so did I. No wonder I’m a tom boy at heart. “I’ve got her.” He chuckles when he points to the guitar in the corner as I look down at the picture. Why men call their guitars and cars “her” is beyond me.

“I kind of miss it Jenna, but I don’t miss what we have. Mom left us both, but to be honest, she was long gone before she even left. You don’t remember this because I kept you busy.” He turns the page again to the picture of us both looking at dad. We are both in front of the computer watching YouTube. That’s how Brennan learned to play the guitar. Every time he learned a new note, he would teach me.

“I kept us both busy sis. I did have childhood,  I just made sure I had it with you.” 

“Do you think things would be different if they stayed?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer. Brennan took over custody of me and became my legal guardian when I was around fifteen. He took over the bills; he became even more of my world. Not only was he my best friend, he was my superhero. I hated myself when dad left. When mom left, I didn’t know any different at the time, I was so young.

But when dad left, I thought I had done something wrong. I had found Brennan’s pot stash that was apparently part of his stash for dealing. I had no clue he was selling marijuana among other things. And boy when he found out, did he lay into me. I always wondered how he was able to keep things “normal” financially for us.

“Jems, I don’t think about that. I don’t want to. Do you want to know why? Because it is the way it is. If it was different, maybe you and I wouldn’t be this close. And I can’t even fathom being apart from you. I mean, who else can I embarrass in Walmart over the loud speakers?” He always and I mean always tries to make me laugh. That’s the one of the biggest differences between Brennan and Will. Will would listen, analyze then give advice whether I want to hear it or not. Brennan, well, I know he listens, but he’s not so keen on advice giving. He’s more of the type of men who listen, then tries to make you forget about it and make you laugh.

Socking him in the gut, “That was not funny. All of us got kicked out when you did that, I had to go back that night in a hoodie, hat and glasses alone so they wouldn’t recognize me.” He begins laughing hard.

“Funny shit though, it wasn’t my fault. William double dared me to announce that tampons for Jenna Munson was on isle two.” I begin to let some tears fall when he mentions Wills name, “No! Don’t start Jems. No crying for Will. We made a deal. Only happy thoughts for him remember.” He shoves the album over and pulls me into his arms like he always does. He’s always so protective this small group we call family, especially me. “We promised him remember? This was his wish. And we don’t go back on our promises, do we?” I shake my head no as I rest my head in the crook of his neck.

“No we don’t,” but I can’t help but cry harder “But Brennan, I feel like it’s still all my fault. If I would not have called you guys to pick me up from the club, he would still be here with us. He would be sitting here with us.” 

“Shhh.” He comforts me “We both know that is just not true. If we would not have gone to get you, who knows what would have happened to you Jems. You were in trouble, at least you knew what was happening before the date rape drug took control. Who fucking knows Jenna? I could be in prison for killing the fucker that gave it to you. I’m still pissed that you won’t tell us who did it. I know for a fact that Will did not regret anything that happened. So that’s enough tears okay? Unless, of course they are of the good tears from our memories, like the double dare.” I try to contain myself and simply nod. “Good, now let’s finish looking at these awesome pictures of yours truly, so we can have a family chat when the guys get home.” 

I wipe my tears from my cheeks and look up at him in concern “Um, what are we having a family chat for?” 

“Just setting some ground rules. This is the first time all of us are actually living together, so some rules have to be set.” 

               “Um, Brennan, I believe this is my house. So, shouldn’t I be the one setting the rules?” 

               “Nope!” He crosses his arms. “You may be on the paper, but I’m the man of this dwelling.” 

I begin to giggle, which turns into laughter, “Okay big guy! Just because you look like Tarzan with your long hair and scruff doesn’t mean you are.” I reach up and mess with his long hair.

               “Me Tarzan, You Little Sis” he says as he pounds his chest making me laugh even harder.

               “Now you just sound stupid.” I say still laughing at him.

               “But hey, I got you laughing right? That’s my goal in life. To make you happy at all times.” 

               “But, who will make you happy Bren? You need a woman. An occasional groupie just doesn’t cut it here and there.”

               “They do the trick. Besides, I don’t see you hooking up either.” Suddenly he raises his eyebrow, “Any word on that Justin guy?” 

               Shaking my head when I reach my hand into my back pocket and pull out my phone, “Nope, and I don’t expect to either.” I look down at the book and turn the page to the picture when we both got our nose rings at the same time, trying to change the subject. “Remember when we had to practically pin Will down to get his done?” 

               “I know what you’re doing sis, and it will work for now.” He looks down at the picture and grins. “Yeah, I remember, that was worse than when we all got our first tat together. But hey, that’s how we created the name of the band.”

               We continue turning the pages and laugh together until the rest of the group came in from the store breaking our moment. I look up at him and mouth “thank you”. He grins down at me and winks. No words needed. I know Brennan will always be there for me, protecting me, holding me when I need a hug, lifting me up when I’m down. And I know there’s nothing I would not do for him in return.

After we got the groceries put away exactly the way Matt wanted it, he began to prepare for our lunch. They were excited about the phones I bought them and it made me happy to see them playing with them. I decide that while they are busy, it’s the perfect time to steal some alone time. Quietly I get up, and make my way upstairs. As I walk down the hallway to my room, I take a look at how each of them has theirs set up. Drew is definitely the messiest of them all. I make a mental note to buy him a hamper for his clothes soon. Matt has his pretty plain. He has a ton of pictures of his daughter on the walls. I wonder if Willow will let him have her for the week or so. She can stay in the downstairs spare room if she insists on coming here too.

I run my hand along the wall of the hallway until I get to the last three doors. Gabe’s is on the right, Brennan’s is on the left, and straight ahead is my room. I slowly peek my head into Brennan’s room first. He is so typical. He has furniture set up almost exactly as he did in the old house. It makes me laugh sometimes how he was so gun ho for this move, but wants to keep everything the same. On his wall is a picture of his favorite band. By each of their heads is an autograph signed to Brennan. It was a birthday gift from William and me to him for all his hard work. Of course, Will did most of the dirty work to get the last few signatures on time, but he managed to do so. On the wall next to his dresser is a collage of pictures on a cork board. There are pictures of him and me, some of the three of us. He has a few pictures of the old band, and some of the new.

As I look closer at the top corner of the board, I notice a picture that’s hidden behind the one of him and I. Pulling the picture to the side, I notice it’s a picture of mom and dad. It must be a picture from before they were married. They are both young, maybe in their late twenties. The resemblance between them and my brother and I are so remarkable. Brennan is a little more slender than dad was, but he has mom’s eyes. I run my finger over her face as I can see myself in the picture. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. Her hair isn’t quite as blonde as mine. Her eyes are the deepest color of blue that I’ve ever seen. Mine however are just your ordinary color of blue. I instinctively lick my lips as I compare her mouth to mine. It’s almost as if they composed me into the picture. The only thing of me that looks like dad is my nose. With a heavy sigh, I place the picture back in its place before walking out. I don’t understand why he has a picture of them, but I know one thing, if I never saw them again, it would be too soon.