Livin' Lahaina Loca (19 page)

“I
didn’t say you had to
eat
dinner; I said you had to clean up and come
down
to dinner. We got a deal?”

He
nodded and put up a hand to wave me away.

“Oh,
and one more thing. When you take that shower, use soap. And shampoo. I’ll
bring you some clean underwear to put on after.”

“Dude,
I don’t wear no underwear.”

“Well,
dude
, you will while you’re staying here with me.”

After
I left, he slammed the door closed behind me. I stood in the hall trying to
decide if I should steal a pair of Steve’s old skivvies or politely ask him for
some loaners. Common courtesy won out.

“No
worries,” said Steve. “I’ll get you a couple pair. Just one thing: they only go
one way. Under no circumstances whatsoever are those shorts welcome back in my
room.”

***

It
was just shy of eleven o’clock—plenty of time to drop by and visit Farrah
before the lunch-time rush, but when I arrived she was midway through ringing
up a big order. I gave her a wave and turned to leave.

“Hey,”
she called out. “Come back in a little while. I need to talk to you.”

“Will
do.”

Now
what? Going home to babysit Beni while he detoxed wasn’t an option I’d even
remotely consider. I ticked off the days of the week and realized this was
Friday, a work day for Hatch. I could run by the station and say ‘hi’ and maybe
gain a few points. I hadn’t talked to him since our tiff over Ono, and I needed
some sympathy for all the crazy stuff I’d been through in the past few days.

I
pulled in at the fire station and parked in the visitor spot.

“Hey,
Pali,” said Mona, the stout local gal who served as receptionist, dispatcher,
and self-appointed mother hen. “Where you been, girl? We don’t see much of you
‘round here lately.”

“Oh,
I had a big wedding going on this weekend.”

“
Had
?
Sounds like it’s not going on no more.” Nothing gets by that woman.

“Yeah,
it got cancelled. The bridal couple had to go back to the mainland.”

“Too
bad. You want me to call
brudda
Hatch out here? He’s in back with the
guys. They just rolled in from a medical call about twenty minutes ago.”

The
only reason to call Hatch out front was so she could listen in. “
Mahalo
,
no,” I said. “I’ll just go on back there. I can only stay a few minutes
anyway.”

She
scowled as if I was breaking some kind of rule, but ever since Maui Fire began
hiring female firefighters, the day room wasn’t the sacrosanct ‘man cave’ it
had been in earlier times. 

She
picked up the intercom and announced me. I may have danced away from her chance
to eavesdrop, but she still wanted me to know who ruled the roost.

“Hey,
babe,” Hatch said, holding the door to the day room open for me. “What’re you
doing here?”

“Just
dropped by to see you for a few minutes. Mona said you just got back from a
medical call.”

“Yeah,
we got this old lady up in Papohaku who calls every week or so claiming she’s
having a heart attack. But her EKG’s are always spot-on normal. I think the
only thing wrong with her heart is it’s broken. Lost her husband back in
April.”

“That’s
too bad.”

“Yeah.
Well, one of the guys is thinking about fixing her up with his great-uncle. You
know, maybe have him pretend he’s delivering pizzas and he’s lost or something.
He could go by her house and ask how to find a phony address in the
neighborhood. Then she’ll tell him there’s no such place and he’ll say they
might as well eat the pizza together because there’s no way he can deliver it
since he doesn’t have a good address. Then he’ll go inside and she’ll get him
something to drink and they’ll start talking. Next thing you know, no more
phony heart attack calls. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds
like you guys are watching too much Lifetime Channel.”

“Hey,
it costs Maui County hundreds of dollars every time we haul her to the hospital
for tests. We gotta do something.” He motioned for me to take a seat on one of
the battered sofas in the day room. Four guys in station blues were huddled
around a computer in the far corner.

“What’s
this I hear about you getting in trouble out at the airport?” he said.

So
much for me tactfully working it into the conversation.

“It
was all a misunderstanding,” I said. “I went down to the police station and got
it all cleared up.”

“That’s
not what I heard.”

So,
the cat wasn’t just out of the bag; apparently the cat had shredded the bag and
managed to fashion it into a clever booby trap.

“What’d
you hear?”

“I
heard you were hauling drug money and you weren’t exactly cooperative during
the interview.”

I
stared at him.

He
stared back.

“Who’s
your source?” I said.

“Doesn’t
matter. If you’re mixed up in anything to do with drugs, I need to know.”

The
guys over at the computer were pretending not to listen, but they weren’t doing
a very good job of it.

“There’s
nothing to know.”

“Fine,”
said Hatch. “When there
is
something, you’ve got my number.”

“Okay,
well fine. I just came by to say ‘hi’ anyway.” I got up and started for the
door. Hatch didn’t budge off the sofa.

“Babe,
this stuff can get serious—real quick,” he said from across the room. “If you
want to talk, I’m off duty tomorrow.”

I
felt five pairs of eyes follow me out of the day room. I skirted past Mona’s
desk without saying
aloha
and got into my car. I revved up the engine
but didn’t put it in gear—just in case Hatch planned to dash out and apologize.
After three or four minutes of pretending to warm up the car I shifted into
reverse and backed out. Then I popped it into first and laid a little rubber
getting out of there.

Next
stop, Farrah’s.

“You
free now?” I said coming in the store from the back alley.

“Well,
not exactly free—but I do come cheap.” She’d worn that line out ten years ago
but I shot her a smile anyway.

“Hey,”
she went on, “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back yesterday. It was wall-to-wall
customers all day long and then I had three private tarot sessions last night.
But I’ve been worried about you, so sit down and spill.” She pointed to a stool
behind the counter and I dragged it over and sat down.

I
caught her up on everything that’d happened the past week. When my shop had
been next door to Farrah’s store we’d never gone more than a day without seeing
each other, so it felt weird rehashing stuff that had happened so long ago.

“Okay,
let’s see if I’ve got this right: the wedding’s off, your red-haired girl’s
been kidnapped by some low-life druggies, the police are up in your grill about
some cocaine money Keith Lewis left you, your kung fu instructor’s loser-ass
cousin is hiding out at your house, and you just had a squabble with Hatch,”
she said.

“That’s
pretty much it in a nutshell,” I said.

A
guy came in the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and I waited while she rang
him up.

“So,
about your missing bridesmaid,” Farrah said after he left. “Are the police
looking for her now that there’s a ransom note?”

 “I
don’t know, but it doesn’t look like it. Wong made it sound like they think
she’s just some druggie tourist who got in over her head. He made me promise to
stay out of it. I guess they need me to keep quiet so they can turn a blind
eye.”

“Maybe
that’s best,” she said. “The cops are busy. They don’t have the time or money
to track down people who are hell-bent on destroying themselves.”

“I
can’t stop thinking about her, though. I found her hair on
my
back seat.
Her fingernails were hanging on
my
doorknob, and the ransom note showed
up on
my
car. And, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t picture the
Crystal Wilson I met as some strung-out junkie. She was too
clean
.”

“Clean
girls get sucked into the life, too, you know. Like all those Hollywood celebrities
who’ve OD’d or graced the cover of
Us
magazine doing the perp walk after
getting caught with cocaine at an after-hours club.”

“True,
but it still feels like something’s not right.” I picked up a Payday candy bar
from the counter display, but when I saw the buck-and-a-half price sticker I
put it back down.

“Take
it,” said Farrah. “It’s not like I’m gonna make my best
hoa aloha
—who I
hardly ever get to see anymore—pay for a lousy candy bar.”

“
Mahalo
,”
I said. “I’m starving.” I tore off the wrapper.

“Oh
yeah, and speaking of hardly seeing you anymore,” Farrah said over the sound of
my munching, “guess what happened next door?”

I
shook my head rather than throw out guesses since I was juggling a mouthful of
peanuts and caramel.

“Seems
they’ve run into a snag.”

I
swallowed. “Bad wiring? Rotten wood? What?”

“Well,
it all started on Wednesday. I heard yelling and doors slamming and then all
kinds of people started traipsing in and out. And not just construction people.
There were other people I’d never seen before. The parade kept up all day
Thursday. And then this morning, it was quiet—real quiet. Finally, one of the
head Mo’olele guys—I think his name is Tomo or Bobo or something—”

“Bono?”

“Yeah,
that’s it. Anyway, he comes in around nine to fill his coffee thermos and he
gives me an earful.” She smiled, apparently enjoying the tale. “Seems they
found some wild stuff down in the crawlspace.”

“What
kind of stuff—like asbestos?”

“Nope,
better’n that.”

I
waited. I’ve never been a fan of twenty questions but Farrah refused to stop
trying to get me to play.

“They
found some
iwi—
some bones. From the looks of things they’re human—leg
bones or arm bones or something. Bono said when they first found them the
construction workers shot outta there so fast you’d have thought the place was
burning down all over again.”

“Did
you see them—the bones?” I said.

“Yeah.
Bono took me over there and pointed them out. They’re right under the floor
where they’d torn up some burned-out boards. There are stones there, too—piled
up. Everyone agrees it looks like an ancient Hawaiian
heiau
.”

“Wow.
Like a sacrificial altar or maybe a royal burial spot? Do you think your folks
had any idea that was down there when they ran the store?”

“Probably
not. But anyway, for now work has stopped—totally
pau hana
. Personally,
I think it’s pretty funny the historical society got shut down by an
inconvenient historical discovery.”

“But
what about you?” I said. “How do you feel about having ancestor bones right
next door?”

“I’m
fine with it. Remember, I had a
kahuna
come and bless the store before I
opened it back up after the fire. And I’m not afraid of ghosts. Over the years
I’ve bumped into a few ghosts and so far I’ve gotten along with every one of
them. The dead are big on
aloha
.”

A
smile spread across her face and she went on. “So hey, ol’ Bessie Yokamura and
her
hupo
Maui Mo’olelo Society thought they could boot you out of your
shop and kick you to the curb—no worries. But now they got worries. They can’t
put a visitor center over sacred ground, and nobody else will want it once they
hear about those bones down there. You wait, your phone’s gonna start ringing
and ol’ Bessie’s gonna be all happy talking you about how she’s changed her
mind and she’d
love
to have you as a tenant.”

“And
I’d love to be back here,” I said. “I hate driving to the West Side every day
and then trying to get rid of the restaurant smells before my clients show up.
If she calls, I’m gonna jump at it, bones or no.”

“No,
girl. Don’t be too quick.
Slippa’s
on the other foot now. Doesn’t take a
psychic to see if you play your cards right you be paying some dirt cheap rent
over there.”

We
hugged good-bye and I went out to my car feeling pretty good. I could get a
kahuna
to bless my shop and leave the bones to rest in peace. I’d get to work in Pa’ia
again, and, if Farrah was right, pay less rent than I had before. Everything
was looking pretty good after all.

CHAPTER 19

I’d
like to say Beni Kanekoa cleaned up well, but unfortunately that wasn’t the
case. His hair was a little less greasy, and he smelled a tad more like soap
than scum, but he still resembled something you’d find three-feet down in a
Dumpster.

After
a few minutes of small talk, Steve, Beni and I ate the rest of our dinner in
silence. Steve pushed back from the table and announced he was sorry but he
couldn’t help with dishes since he’d offered to give a guy a ride somewhere. It
was my turn anyway. He didn’t need to come up with phony excuses.