Living Again (20 page)

“Kayley, your next patient is here,” Rachel called from the doorway, a knowing look on her face.

“Okay,” Kayley nodded, glancing back down at her phone. A text came through from Ben, and all it said was,
Thinking of you. I hope you have a great day
. With a smile, she tucked her phone back into her purse and went out to see her next patient.

Ben sat in the cafeteria, trying to eat some semblance of a lunch while also scrolling through many work emails on his phone. He had a hectic afternoon and evening ahead of him, but the only thing he could think of was Kayley and Alexis. Now that he had spent a good amount of time with both of them, it was hard to think of one without the other. When he went home after being at Kayley’s most of the day, he found it seemed empty and he was lonely. He hadn’t felt that way in a long time, not since after he and Zoey broke up.

“You’re a hard man to get in touch with,” a voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see Dana sliding into the chair across from him and had to control himself not to groan. Dana. A nurse here in the hospital who he had made the mistake of having a short no-strings-attached relationship with. It was totally out of his normal realm to have that kind of relationship with a woman, but it had been a long time since Zoey, and he needed a distraction. The problem was, Dana wanted more and Ben didn’t. Since the day that Kayley walked into the hospital, Ben had been avoiding Dana as much as he could.

“Dana,” Ben smiled, not wanting to seem like a jerk. “How’ve you been?”

She flipped her chestnut hair over her shoulder, her eyes sparkling at him. She was an attractive woman. She was tall, looking him in the eyes with just a tilt of her head, with olive skin and a beautiful body. Maybe he could’ve had something with her, if he had never met Kayley. Dana just didn’t do it for him.

“I’ve missed you, Ben,” she purred, rubbing her foot on his leg under the table. He moved his leg back and took a bite of his sandwich.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy,” he tucked his phone back into his coat, knowing he needed to be honest. “We need to talk.”

Dana’s face fell for a moment before she composed herself and smiled again. “Okay. Want to have dinner tonight?”

Ben thought back to his conversation with Kayley last night, and how he had been counting the hours until this day was over so he could talk to her again. “No,” he said, looking her directly in the eyes. “I can’t. I met someone.” He watched as she tried to mask her reaction to his words.

Dana took a bite of her salad, not meeting his eyes. “Okay,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, not knowing what to say.

Dana cleared her throat, then looked up and met Ben’s eyes. “That’s really too bad,” she purred. “We had a good time. It would’ve been nice to keep that going. We understand each other, this crazy life,” she indicated the hospital surrounding them. “And the resident sleep rooms were good for…” She broke off intentionally, looking at him suggestively.

He took a deep breath, knowing she was trying to affect him. He had only been seeing her for a few months, and never anything official. They never went out on dates, rarely talked on the phone, and he definitely
never
felt the way with her that Kayley made him feel. But he did have a good time with her, even if he always knew it would never go any further. He felt guilty, hating to see anyone upset, but he also knew he never told Dana that he was interested in a relationship at all.

“Dana,” Ben started, and she quickly stopped him with a wave of her hand.

“It’s fine, Ben, I get it. We were never anything official. I knew all along it was no strings attached with you. I guess I just kind of hoped that you would want more after a while.” She chewed a bite of her salad, looking off into the distance. He watched her, a feeling of dread settling in his stomach when he realized that he completely missed the signs that Dana wanted more than he was offering.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.
I hope you have a good day too,
the text said.
I’ll talk to you later?
He grinned as he spotted the name of the sender. Kayley. He typed out a quick response,
The second I get out of here I’ll call you
, and put the phone back in his pocket.

Dana stared at him from across the table. “Who is she?” she whispered, trying but not succeeding in not looking upset. He looked at her, wondering if he should really get into this with her or not.

“Dana, I’m so sorry. I feel like an asshole. I never realized that this—arrangement wasn’t okay with you anymore. It’s all my fault. You’re such a beautiful woman, and you will make someone really happy,” Ben twisted his hands, hating the feeling of making her feel like she was used.

“Just not you, right, Ben?” Dana said. “Don’t mind me. I knew all along what the arrangement was. You were getting over your bad breakup, and made it extremely clear you didn’t want a relationship at all. I took it, fully knowing what I was getting into. I’m glad that someone has made you change your mind about having a relationship again. I just wish it could’ve been me.”

Dana stood up and Ben followed. “Take care, Ben. Good luck. I hope she knows how lucky she is to get you.” She smiled tightly, hugged him, and then walked out of the cafeteria. He looked after her, guilt settling in his stomach like a boulder. He hated hurting her, but it was necessary to be honest with her. Since setting eyes on Kayley, she was the only one he thought about and wanted to be around. As Dana disappeared down the hallway, he couldn’t stop a smile from playing on his lips as he realized that he was one step closer to making a relationship official between himself and Kayley.

Kayley pulled into her mom and dad’s driveway to get Alexis. It was a tiring Monday, yet all she could do was look at the clock and start counting the hours until Ben called her. As if on cue, his name came across her screen as a text message.
Going to be later than I thought. I’ll call you as soon as I can. Crazy day today.
She got an idea, and a smile came across her face. Before she could chicken out, she dialed Emily’s number.

“Em?” she said when Emily answered. “I need your help. Can I bring Alexis over for a few hours?”

Thirty minutes later, Kayley had gathered what she needed and was headed to the hospital. She parked in the lot, gathered her items, and began walking to the entrance. Her stomach fluttered at her boldness, but she forced herself to keep walking. She hoped he wasn’t too busy.

She entered the automatic front doors and made her way to the reception desk, aware that this was a positive visit to the hospital and not a negative one. She really needed to start associating this hospital with Ben instead of the negative events it was currently associated with.

“I’m looking for Dr. Ben Nichols,” Kayley said, trying to will her voice not to shake.

The pretty blonde behind the desk smiled at her and then looked at the bags she carried. “Are you a patient?”

Kayley swallowed, her mouth dry. “Um, no. I’m his-his friend.” The girl, whose nametag read Aimee, nodded and picked up the phone.

“Don’t bother, Aimee. I know where he is, I’ll take her up.” A voice said from next to her. Kayley turned and saw a drop dead gorgeous woman standing next to her in polka dot scrubs. Her hair was long and wavy and a beautiful honey brown. Her brown eyes were framed by long eyelashes and a gorgeous face. She was tall, making Kayley have to look up at her, and she had a body that looked like she spent hours in the gym every day. Kayley looked down at herself quickly, dressed very casually in her work pants and polo shirt with her hair in an end-of-the-day ponytail.

“Thanks, Dana,” Aimee smiled at both of them. “I would’ve had to page him anyway, he’s been all over this place today.”

“Come on,” Dana said to Kayley. “He’s up in his office.”

“Thank you,” Kayley said quietly, following her to the elevator. “You know Ben, er- Dr. Nichols well?”

Dana looked at Kayley, not responding. Then, she smiled and said, “You must be her.”

Kayley looked at Dana, a question in her eyes. “Excuse me?”

Dana sighed. “Well, see, I know Ben pretty well. We had been seeing each other for a little while. Then today, he told me that he had met someone and didn’t want to see me anymore. You must be her.”

Kayley’s heart thumped erratically in her chest, and she forced air into her lungs. She felt lightheaded. Ben had been seeing
Dana,
who looked like she just stepped out of a man’s fantasy, and worked with her day after day? And he broke it off for
her?

The elevator dinged on the 10
th
floor and Dana led her off, the silence enveloping both of them. All Kayley wanted to do was run back down the hall, into the elevator, and out to the safety of her car. She wanted to speed to Emily’s, get Alexis, and go home where she was safe and wasn’t about to get her heart trampled.

Dana knocked briefly on an office door and then opened it. Ben sat behind the desk, typing on his computer. Kayley’s breath caught as she saw him. He had a pen stuck on the top of his ear. His doctor coat was flung on the chair and he was wearing a light blue dress shirt with the collar open at the top. He turned, still preoccupied. Then, his eyes registered what he was seeing and the blue of his eyes got swallowed by his pupils in surprise.

“You have a visitor,” Dana announced. “I saw her downstairs and figured I would save Aimee from having to page to find you.” Ben stared at Dana, then turned his eyes to Kayley.

“Kayley,” he breathed, his stomach in knots. Kayley
and
Dana were standing in his doorway. Kayley looked at him, then at Dana, and he didn’t miss the expression on her face. Almost like-
no
. Dana would
not
have talked to her on the way up the elevator.

“Nice to meet you, Kayley,” Dana said, smiling at her and then Ben. “See you later, Ben.” Dana shut the door, leaving Kayley staring after her, not knowing what to say.

Ben moved around his desk, smoothing his hair out. He had to be very careful what his next move was. He wasn’t foolish enough to think that he was in the clear as far as Kayley running away from him. Again. He noticed bags that she was carrying, and he took them and set them on his desk. Then she looked up at him, uncertainty written all over her face. He hated that look, and wanted nothing more than to reassure her that whatever Dana said, it wasn’t what she was thinking.

He took her hands and pulled her closer to him. “This is a nice surprise,” he said, smiling. Kayley smiled back, still looking uncertain. “Where’s Alexis?”

Kayley looked down. “Emily’s. I-I don’t know what I’m doing here, Ben. I’m sorry, I know you’re working…” Ben lifted her chin so she could look at him.

“Kayley,” he began, running his hands down her arms. “I’m not really sure what Dana said to you on the way up here, and I promise we’ll get it all out in the open, but for now- let’s go back to what brought you here. Don’t be sorry for coming here, baby. This is the best part of my day so far. Other than getting your text message, of course.” Ben winked at her, and Kayley genuinely smiled. She shivered at his light touch, hating herself for wanting him to kiss her but feeling like she needed it now.

As if reading her mind, Ben leaned over and put her lips between his gently. She loved the feeling of his lips against hers. He smelled of wintergreen this time, and it made her tingle in anticipation. Kayley laced her fingers with Ben’s as she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Ben let go of her hands and put his arms around her, pulling her towards him. Kayley felt every manly part of his body, and used the opportunity to allow her hands to roam his firm muscles.

Finally, Ben pulled away gently, whistling under his breath. “Damn girl,” he chuckled. “You keep that up, I will never look at this office the same way again.” Kayley laughed, knowing she wouldn’t forget this office anytime soon, either.

“I brought dinner,” Kayley announced, indicating the bags. “I didn’t cook anything gourmet, since I haven’t even been home, but I got us some sub sandwiches, sweet tea, and chips.”

“Hmmm,” Ben said, helping her unpack the bags. “I’m starved, too. Lunch was a long time ago.” He unwrapped the sandwiches and sat next to her. “Hey,” he started, and Kayley looked up at him, the look in her eyes taking his breath away. “You can
always
bring Alexis, baby.”