Living With Regret (14 page)

“Yes,” I whisper. Trust or no trust, my nerves are on fire.

“I would rather die than hurt you,” he says with another smile.

Crap ...he’s trying to convince me to jump, but my heart took his statement to mean so much more. After a long, deep breath, my heart drops to my stomach as I slowly hold out my hand for him to take.

“We’re going to jump together,” he says, squeezing my hand.

My chest tightens and I’m not sure if it’s from fear or from the idea that we’re doing this together. “We’re doing a couples jump. Come on, everything is all set for us to go. I didn’t want to give you too much time to think about it or I knew you wouldn’t go with me this morning.”

Personally, I don’t think I have an unrealistic fear of heights, but Chase has always had an unrealistic ease with them. I’m starting to tremble again when a man walks over with shirts for us that say “
A couple that jumps together, stays together
” and I’m instantly laughing, but not for long.

After we’re tied in about a hundred different ways, they walk us out over a strange looking bridge and all too fast the people who work this death trap have us rigged up to each other, then Chase is walking us out onto a ledge. A ledge that I know is going to drop, causing us to fall.

“You still trust me?” I want to point out how I really need to trust the person who wired us to the bridge and the safety equipment they use, but I know what he means. He would never ask me to do this if he wasn’t a hundred percent positive that I would be okay.

“Yesssssss.” I didn’t even finish saying the word then we’re falling. I’m almost certain that I’m screaming but everything happened so fast that I didn’t really have time to process it.

Life has a funny way of changing. This time last week, I was in my office in New York, moody and pissed off at the world for unknown reasons. But today, I’m hanging off a bridge in Hawaii, wrapped up in the arms of the boy that broke my heart, and I feel the safest I’ve ever been.

I figured it would take an act of God to get Jordan to jump with me, and if I had to push the issue any more than I did, I would have backed off in a heartbeat. A lot can go wrong in a jump. People die every year from jumps that unfortunately don’t result in the desired outcome, but as humans, we do things every single day that put ourselves at risk. Sometimes we consider ourselves lucky just to make it somewhere safely in our vehicles, but that doesn’t stop us from getting in our car and traveling.

With this particular jump site, I did my homework and felt the reward outweighed the risk. And the reward was spectacular. My wife, who has always had an irrational fear of heights, overcame that fear today in my arms. I’m not about to fool myself into thinking she’s going to become a regular jumper, but I found it inspiring that she trusts me enough to override the fear she was feeling and follow my lead.

Now we’re back in our room my appetite for this woman is beyond starving. “You were brilliant today, baby. Made my whole world that you jumped with me.”

Jordan gives me one of her shy smiles that only fuels my desire. I walk up to her and seconds later my mouth finds hers. After all these years, the passion we share is still off the charts.

My hands find the end of her shirt, lifting it up and over her head, only breaking our kiss for a second. I reach around and unclasp her bra, pulling it down her arms to reveal her rosy nipples. Next I strip her out of her shorts and panties, then give her a slight shove until she falls back onto the bed.

I set a new record for how fast I can get out of my own clothing then I crawl up the bed between her legs where my mouth stops for a taste of heaven. I start licking and sucking on her clit like an addict until her hips take over and she starts pumping her sex into my face.

“Oh God ...Chase.” I continue sucking her deep into my mouth and minutes later Jordan is growling out her release on my tongue.

I lick my lips and moan as I make my way up to her beautiful face. Jordan’s eyes are heavy from lust and exhaustion, but I know she’s wet and ready for me. I give my cock a few long strokes then I place it at her entrance before slowly pushing inside.

“Oh, yes. You feel so damn perfect.” I turn my face back to hers and look directly in her eyes. “Incredible. You always feel incredible.” I thrust my hips a few more times, never taking my eyes off of her. “You were made for me.” I groan. The affection and love that shines from every part of her makes me feel whole, and this right now, what we’re sharing, is the most beautiful part of us. Our connection is more than sex; it’s our love, our passion, and our future. Something we’ll only share with each other.

My hips take over and I start slamming in and out of her tightness until I feel her clenching around me and moaning in pleasure. Her moans push me to the edge, and I know if I wanted to I could let go and find my release, but I need her to fall with me.

“Baby, I need you to come.” I suck one of her delicious tits into my mouth. I keep sucking until I feel her starting to contract on my cock. My thumb finds her clit and I gently rub. Seconds later, I feel her milking me so tight I fall over the edge with her.

“Oh God,” I mumble into her neck as I slowly ride out the rest of my orgasm. When we both finally come back down to earth, I look up at her face and again I’m hit with a strong sensation. A sensation that I need to do whatever it takes to keep this woman by my side—and, this time, I need to ensure I keep her for the rest of my life.

Our time in Honolulu was unbelievable. Away from everyone else and the stress of the real world, life with Chase was unimaginably perfect. But now it’s time to face the music.

Chase opens the door to his gaudy house and waits for me to step in, which I do. I still would like to know if he designed this awful place himself or if he paid someone to go crazy with his checking account because nothing about this place feels like him.

Chase places our bags down before brushing my hair away from my eyes. “Thank you. I really needed that. We needed that. And I can’t begin to—”

“Where the hell have you been?” Steve interrupts, anger seeping out of his mouth as he storms into the living room. Chase opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it.

“I asked you a question, boy. Where have you been?” Nervously, Chase takes a step away from me, which instantly sends a panic throughout me.

“Um, I . . .” he mumbles. Geez, you would think that Chase was still eighteen and not twenty-eight by the way they’re interacting with each other.

Chase takes a deep breath. “We took a little trip, what’s the big deal?” Once the words pass his lips, he looks away from his dad. If I thought Steve was angry before, it was nothing compared to how furious he looks now.

“What’s the big deal? You fucking leave town without checking in with your team, you disconnect your cell phone number so they can’t call you, and you ask me what’s the big deal? Plus, your mother’s been bitching that you’ve missed some of your doctors’ appointments.”

My heart drops. What a horrible excuse for a father. He’s more concerned about Chase not talking to his team than worrying about him missing doctors’ appointments. And why didn’t I know about this? I thought Chase said he got everything cleared so we could go.

“Dad, it’s not a big deal. I couldn’t play or practice, anyway. I’m done for the year and there’s nothing anyone, including you, can do about that.” I look over at Chase, wondering where the strong, unrelenting man I spent the last few days with has disappeared to.

“You don’t take off like a crazy fucking person, that’s for sure. What did she do to convince you to leave with her?” he snarls out, giving me a hateful look.

“No, it wasn’t like that.” Chase’s answer lacks the emotion I would have given if I had spoken. He doesn’t even seem upset with the way his dad is speaking to him or about me.

I clear my throat to speak up, however, before I can say anything, three more people walk into the room, adding to the chaos. Donna, Jake, and Lacey.

Shit ...Lacey is here, and judging by the look on her face, she’s no more happy with me than Steve is with Chase.

“Why the fuck would you go on a trip with him? Huh? Seriously, I don’t get it. The only asshole on this planet that has the power to hurt you and you ...you just walk right back into the lion’s den and hand him a whip? Jesus, Jordan, you’re smarter than this.”

Steve turns towards Lacey. “Don’t come into my son’s home and call him an asshole, especially when she’s the problem,” he says, pointing at me.

Lacey might be small but she can pack a verbal punch harder than most people. I’m positive this is why she’s a great lawyer.

“Be quiet, old man. No one, including your precious football playing son, asked for your goddamn opinion.”

Jake, who took a seat on the couch and is watching everyone like he's at the movie theater, decides to jump in before the situation really gets out of hand. “Okay, okay, everyone, let’s just calm down for a second and let them talk.”

“I don’t need to hear what she has to say to know she’s trying to get her claws back in my son again. When she’s around, she ruins everything. Isn’t that right, Chase? That’s why you dumped her ass before you left for college. One quick conversation with me and she was history.”

I gasp, not just from the fact that he spilled the information that everyone except Chase knows, but from the demeaning way he said it.

“Steven!” Donna screams as I keep my eyes on Chase. So many emotions cross his face.

Lacey can’t take anymore and unleashes on Steve. “God, you’re such a bitter old fucker. What? Did someone tell you when you were a kid that you weren’t good enough to play football so you decided you’d live out your dreams through your son? And now you think because you’ve done everything possible for him that he owes you something? You walked your dumb ass in here and started spouting off shit about football this and football that, and not once did you ask about what his doctor said.”

The room goes silent but Lacey, unfortunately, isn’t finished.

“I hope one day you get screwed by a donkey with a twenty-inch dick because that’s exactly what you deserve. Maybe that way you won’t be so fucking uptight that everyone in your life allows you to screw them over.”

Jake scrunches his eyebrows. “Whoa, I didn’t know New York had many donkeys let alone ones with dicks that size. Remind me to double check with you before I visit.”

The three of them are looking at Jake but my eyes are still locked on Chase. He looks confused but he also appears to be angry. When he finally looks up at me, he narrows his eyes. “We’re not married?” His voice is sad and soft, almost too soft to hear, but somehow everyone in the room does because all the chatter stops and everyone looks at Chase. I’m not sure what I should say, but I can hear Dr. Stein in my head.

Don’t lie.

“No,” I whisper.

His eyes thin even more. “We’ve never been married?”

“Of course you’re not married to her. You got rid of her ten years ago and everyone except me thought it would be a good idea to let you think otherwise. Chase, you have a life and she’s not a part of it for a reason. For a damn good reason.”

I open my mouth to yell he’s the reason I’m not a part of his life when a beautiful woman who could be a Playboy model steps inside of the open door. She has long blonde hair and exotic eyes. She smiles as she looks around the room, but her eyes stop moving when she spots Chase. She squeals then runs to him.

“Oh, baby. I was so worried,” she purrs as she wraps her arms around him and presses her huge tits into his chest as she pulls his head down to her face to plant her lips on his.

Watching this instantly makes me feel sick to my stomach, but it’s Lacey that asks the question I want the answer to. “Who the hell are you?”

When she pulls back from kissing him—a kiss that he didn’t put much if any effort in to, but one that he didn’t pull away from either—she says, “I’m Carrie, Chase’s girlfriend.”

Jake chuckles under his breath but other than that, no one, including Chase, says a word as I stand here watching her hang on his arm when only moments ago he was telling me he loved me. I guess if I’m being honest, that statement isn’t fair. Moments ago, Chase didn’t know he had a girlfriend, especially one this beautiful.