Living with Temptation (14 page)

Chelsea’s voice shook. “He used me.”

Dean’s ulterior motive had been this. His way of keeping the
media out of his life. She started to cling to doubts – maybe he planned on
telling her they could be together. Maybe it was all a mistake. Chelsea shook
her head in disbelief. Her heart felt heavy, and she could feel an aching
vulnerability, greater than anything she’d experienced before.

Outside, Dean’s car pulled into the driveway. A sound she
was looking forward to, but now it was a dull reminder that he was returning to
her. To lie. Chelsea felt light headed. Dean clearly stated he was in a long
term relationship with her to the media, while telling her it couldn’t work
out. And the proposal?

She gritted her teeth as her shock quickly turned into
anger. How dare he make such a claim! Her stomach felt heavy. Chelsea closed
her eyes, trying to calm herself. There had to be an explanation. Perhaps Dean
said it to deter the media from them so they could have their meal in peace.

But the truth hurt. That night would’ve been perfect for a
proposal.
How could he do this?

The front door opened behind her, and she heard Dean greet
her in a friendly yet sensual tone.

“I’ve bought all the alcohol we’ll need for tonight,” he
said cheerfully. “And I have a surprise for you.”

Another stab of pain through her heart. Dean was acting
casual about the fact she was leaving tomorrow, moving out of his house, and
his life. He wasn’t attempting to stop her, or talk about his feelings. What he
said to the media made it clear – he had no interest in a relationship. He was
using her as a façade for one.

“Is this the surprise?” Chelsea demanded, grabbing the paper
from the floor. His cheerful expression suddenly darkened. Setting the alcohol
on the table, Dean shot a glance at the paper.

“You weren’t meant to look at that.”

“How could you say we’re together?” she snapped, unable to stop
her voice from rising as her frustration took hold.  “Why do that, you said it
wouldn’t work between us?”

“I was stupid, and denying my feelings…”

“What feelings? You don’t have any! But you kept messing
with mine.”

Pain etched his features. “Chelsea, listen. I invited you
here so I could show the media I was in a relationship. I wanted to keep them
out of my life. It worked with Jenny, but I made the mistake of pretending to
commit, and I had no feelings for her. With you, it was different.”

“So I was a pawn in your little ‘improve your image’ game?”

“Don’t make it sound so harsh. We were both using each
other.”

“Forget it,” Chelsea said bitterly. “I knew there was
another reason why you wanted me here. To use for your
selfish
goal. All
you care about is what the media thinks of you.”

“It was more than that!” he insisted. “I ruined the image of
my parents’ name, only I could fix it. I had to…” His voice trailed off, his
last sentence one of defeat. “I wanted to change my past.”

“You could’ve told me about this. I would’ve helped.”

Even as she said it, Chelsea knew if Dean told her, she’d
instantly hate the idea.

“And if I did? Would you?”

Chelsea hesitated. “Actually, no. Because I don’t want to be
used
!” She spoke the last word with contempt.  The one word that
described everything he’d done with her. The one word that summed up her pain.

There was pain in Dean’s eyes, and he seemed at a loss for
words.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Why’d you do this? If we ended up
together, you wouldn’t need a stupid façade.”

“I didn’t want you getting involved,” he insisted, but
flinched, knowing it was a weak excuse. “It was better that you didn’t know. I
wanted my problems out of the way so we could focus on us. I wanted to make
everything perfect.”

Chelsea shrugged, her chest heavy. All the words Dean said
didn’t matter, none of it could change what was happening. They couldn’t walk
that bridge together, instead she stood at the end, her pain willing her not to
cross it.

Fear had done this. Fear of giving her heart to another and
having it crushed. Now it was playing out before her, and even his apologies
didn’t ease how she felt.

“I really liked you, Dean. Everything that happened between
us…you only wanted sex from me, didn’t you?”

He took a deep breath and stepped towards her. “I’m going to
be completely honest with you as I should’ve been from the start. I’ve never
felt this way for anyone before. Yes, it was sex that interested me, but
after…I wanted more.”

Chelsea’s heart sank. Dean told her what she feared all this
time – it
was
only sex. It initially meant nothing, not even friendship.
But what could she believe?

Chelsea blinked back tears and didn’t meet his gaze, hoping
he wouldn’t ask if she was okay. She didn’t want to hear any concern in his
voice. It would be enough to start the tears brimming in her eyes.

The past few weeks with Dean were an amazing fantasy. Now
she was back in reality. He lied to her, and she couldn’t accept it. The pain
of his deceit brought back those feelings she’d buried away, the dark pain
she’d experienced after Ryan betrayed her.

“Did you plan on telling me about the vasectomy?”

Dean’s eyes widened, a frown of confusion creasing his face.
“Chelsea, I was going to explain everything. You don’t understand…”

Knowing that he really had a vasectomy shocked her. Dean had
taken a huge risk on his future, and he didn’t even tell her about it. Chelsea
raised a hand, and she could feel it shaking. Her voice sounded small. “I don’t
think I want to. It’s over.”

“Damn it, I can’t lose you,” Dean pleaded. “I’m not letting you
go.”

Chelsea folded her arms, feeling her defensive walls return.
“Even if I forgive you for this façade with the media, why didn’t you tell me
about the vasectomy? Now I don’t know what to think or feel, it’s just…a mess.
I had enough of deceit from Ryan.”

She turned away from him and ran up the stairs, hearing Dean
call out for her. His voice pulled at her and she resisted the urge to turn
around and throw herself into his arms, feeling his tight embrace, forgetting
about the pain he’d caused.

All it seemed they had together was a raw, heated attraction.
He really was a playboy millionaire – out for himself, just as Jenny warned.
His staged wife had been right.

Chelsea blinked back hot tears. She entered her room, hoping
Dean wouldn’t follow her. It was over. All the moments they’d been in each
other’s arms, the passionate kisses, how alive he’d made her feel. It all ended
the moment she saw Dean and known he lied.

She gathered her bags and went to the nightstand, grabbing
her cell phone. She pressed the button to turn it on and as the screen came to
life, she called the one person who could drive out to Spring Lake at this time
of night.

“Ryan,” she greeted him. “I need you to come out to Spring Lake-”

“You’re with the millionaire,” he cut in, and she recognized
the jealousy in his voice. If this was any other time, she would’ve smiled.
“Saw you in the paper. What do you need me for?”

“I’m not dating Dean,” she said firmly. “It was a lie. I
need a ride back to Newark. Do you know this address?”

“I’ll find my way there. I can bring the papers for you to
sign. My girlfriend Nicola will be coming along too, if you don’t mind.”

Chelsea swallowed. So Ryan had moved on already. She
suspected he had the moment he requested her to sign the divorce papers. The
wave of pain that followed reminded her harshly that her own relationship with
Dean failed. Her marriage with Ryan meant nothing – all she wanted was Dean.

But his deceit cut her deeply to the point where she
couldn’t feel anything for him. She’d trusted him, hoped for something more.
Now she understood his words when he warned her. He was warning her against
himself, and what he did.

“Thanks Ryan. See you soon.”

She hung up and pocketed the phone. As Chelsea turned
towards the door, she almost expected Dean to be standing there, his gentle
eyes focused on her. Once, his concern for her made him come to her room
without knocking. It annoyed her, but now it was the one hope she clung to, to
have him there, waiting for her. But his absence showed he wouldn’t even fight
for their relationship.

Now she was moving out, and moving on. The house in Newark wouldn’t
be ready for her, but there was enough money in her account to stay at a motel
for a few days.

Chelsea swallowed painfully and wiped at her eyes. She took
a deep breath and headed downstairs. Dean was standing at the front door, pain
visible in his eyes.

“You can’t move out now.”

“I’ve organized for someone to pick me up.”

“I’m not letting you leave. I’m not giving up.”

She stared at him, trying to hold back the intense pull
towards him, the urge to raise her voice in frustration. She kept her voice
steady. “Why? I would’ve gone weeks ago if you didn’t extended my vacation. Everything
that happened between us, it was all a lie. You were using me when you knew I
wanted to be with you.”

Dean reached towards her, and Chelsea’s gaze lowered to his
toned arms, the fading tan on his skin. She tentatively took a step back,
putting distance between them. Any touch from him would cause her to lose her
resolve, the protective wall she’d erected around herself.

“How can I set this right?” he asked.  “I’ll do anything for
you, Chelsea. I made a mistake, many mistakes. But I still want you in my life.”

Chelsea swallowed, part of her wanting to accept his words. But
she couldn’t give into him, not now. For once, it was easy to resist.

“For sex, I know,” she corrected him, her voice wavering. “That’s
the only relationship we had.”

She pulled open the front door, feeling the cold air hit her
face. Chelsea blinked against it, then felt Dean’s hand close around her arm. A
tentative touch, as if he were afraid she would pull away. It heated her skin
and she turned to face him, her heart aching to see him looking at her in that
way.

“It was more than that,” Dean confessed. “I told you I care
about you, and I never wanted to hurt you. I…”

Chelsea glanced towards the alcohol sitting on the table.
She longed to fall into his arms, to believe that the hope they could be
together was alive. But when he left to the grocery store, she knew if he
wanted to be with her, he would’ve put up a fight and insisted for her to stay.
Now she was returning to Newark, and Dean was letting her go.

She met his gaze.

“Then give me a reason to stay.”

Dean’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth. But said nothing.
Chelsea stared, waiting, almost silently begging for him to explain the feeling
burning within her, the feeling she knew he had to feel too. Love. She’d been
too afraid to acknowledge it, worrying that if she did, it would fade. It was
part of her, Dean felt like another part of her.

She couldn’t be without him. But at this moment, she
couldn’t be with him. Unless he told her the truth.

His hesitation showed enough. Dean couldn’t admit it. Pain
sluiced through her as Chelsea stared into his eyes, noticing the uncertainty
on his face. And she was drawn to him, wanting to ease how both of them were
feeling, to heal what was happening between them if only for a moment.

Chelsea stepped close to him, immediately feeling all of her
attention going to his broad chest. The memory of how firm his muscles felt,
the touch of his skin against hers. She tilted her head up to him, wanting to
feel his kiss one last time. To make one more memory before it all ended.

Dean obliged, lowering his mouth until it was inches from
hers. His lips lightly touched hers in a brief, teasing kiss. Chelsea felt all of
her senses reigniting, and almost forgot that she was halfway out the door. All
she wanted was to be back in his arms, to be his.

Then he stepped away, and the feeling dissipated painfully. The
taste of his warm kiss was still on her lips. Chelsea warily met Dean’s eyes
and noticed the firm line of his mouth, the hard gleam in his eyes. He’d
accepted she was moving on.

Chelsea swallowed, struggling to come to terms with what was
happening. He’d lied, and she tried to forgive him but it wasn’t enough. She
wanted to say she loved him, but the moment had passed. To say it now would
make it sound hollow.

She closed her eyes briefly, willing it all to pass.

But when she opened them, he was still there, and it was
still over.

“Goodbye, Dean,” she said finally. And as a small comfort,
she added, “I had to move out eventually.”

“I know. I, uh, have something for you. A gift.”

Chelsea quirked an eyebrow. Dean withdrew a Visa from his
pocket and held it out for her. She stared at it in disbelief.

“There’s a few thousand on it,” he explained. “Enough to
help you out. I want to.”

She raised her head and shot him a disapproving glare.

“Dean, I don’t want money!”

All I want is you.
Chelsea bit her lip and stepped
out onto the patio. Dean hastily pocketed it with an unreadable expression on
his face.

Ryan would be driving as fast as the speed limit would
allow, knowing him. But it would be close to an hour before he arrived. Chelsea
turned back to face Dean, feeling the cool wind tearing at her clothes, sending
her hair spiraling around her face.

“It’ll be about an hour before whoever you called gets
here,” Dean pointed out.

Chelsea looked into his eyes, seeing the regret and guilt he
felt. But the passion was still there, the burning attraction which could never
fade. No matter how angry she felt, with one look from him, Dean was all she
needed.

And in that moment, she couldn’t leave the patio and walk
into the night away from the man she loved. He was leaning against the
doorjamb, waiting for her. Chelsea knew what he wanted, what she couldn’t deny.
She closed the gap between them, feeling the heat of his body against the
coldness that awaited her.