Lockdown (19 page)

“God, I need you,” he muttered, tearing his mouth away from her swollen lips. He was panting, breathless, barely able to form a cohesive thought, but there was so much that needed to be said before he allowed this to go any further.

“Let’s go upstairs,” she said as she reached for the buttons on his shirt. “I’ve missed this, being close to you like this.”

“Wait, not yet.”

She looked devastated. “But I thought you said you needed me?”

“I do, baby.” He kissed her bare shoulder. “But this is about so much more than sex. Last time, I let you believe that’s all it could be. I was wrong, so wrong.”

“Jake, you just ended your marriage. I know how difficult that was for you.”

“Yeah, it was so hard because I had to come to terms with the fact that I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I married the wrong woman, Jess. It should have been you.” He could see the shock mixed with hope on her beautiful face. She wanted to believe him, but he had given her too many reasons to doubt him over the years.

She held her fingers up to cover her trembling lips, but she couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down her cheeks. “You have no idea how much I wanted it to be me. I felt terrible wishing, praying that you would realize you and Diane weren’t right for each other.”

“I’m so sorry for what I put you through. I was an idiot. I should have been man enough to admit what I felt for you back then.”

“Now it’s more complicated. You have a little boy to consider, I understand that. Jared has to come first.”

“You’re right.” He caught her tears with his thumbs. “Jared’s opinion is important to me. That’s why I asked him how he would feel if we got married and gave him a little brother or sister.”

She sobbed before covering her mouth with her hand.

“You know what he said?”

She shook her head, her eyes wide.

“He said he’d love to have you as his second mama.” He pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.

“I love that little boy so much,” she whispered. “You don’t know how much I missed talking to him. Hearing his little voice used to make my day.”

“Yeah, well, you might be hearing a lot more of it, if you’re okay with that?”

She tipped her head back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I want to fight for full custody of Jared. I want him to come and live with us, sweetheart.”

“You want him to live with
us
?” She frowned. “Jake, I’m not sure…”

He was screwing this up, getting ahead of himself. He took a deep breath as he reached into the breast pocket of his blazer and withdrew the small velvet box from his pocket. She had earned the right to have him grovel at her feet, so he dropped to one knee and took her hand.

She cried as she covered her mouth with her other hand.

“Jessica, you have loved me, supported me, and cared for me, even when I didn’t deserve it.” He cleared his throat. “You have been my friend, my lover, my son’s sounding board…” He didn’t know how he was going to get through this. There was no way to put into words how much she meant to him, so he decided to sum it up by saying, “You can spend the rest of your life searching, and you may find a smarter man, a stronger man, a richer man, but you will never find another who loves you as much as I do. Jess, I can’t live without you, it’s as simple as that. Please, baby, please, say you’ll be my wife.”

She fell to her knees and pulled him into her arms. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’ve fantasized about this moment a hundred times. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

Jake grinned as he buried his face in her neck. “You are everything to me.” He pulled back to open the velvet box. The ring was a single carat diamond on a narrow, white gold band. He’d agonized over his decision for hours, trying to find the ideal ring to signify his love for her, but there was no diamond big enough or bright enough to capture the sentiment. He decided he would simply have to spend every day for the rest of their lives showing her how much she meant to him.

She held her trembling hand out as he slipped the ring on her finger. “It’s perfect. I love it.”

“You’re perfect,” he whispered before kissing her lips.

He stood up and reached for her hand. “Come here. There’s something I want to show you.” He had spent the countless hours since she’d left making significant changes to his house. He wanted this to be
their
home, not just his anymore. He flipped the switch and bathed the family room in light.

She walked into the room slowly, taking in the changes. “This is the furniture I pointed out that afternoon we drove in to Lindsay. I said I’d like to get it for my new condo.”

He watched her, smiling at her reaction. “That’s right.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember everything, baby.” He pointed to the mantle. “Check those out.”

“Oh my God,” she said, moving in to take a closer look at the newly framed photographs. “Hey, that was the afternoon last summer when we took Jared to the beach, right?” She smiled. “That was a great day.”

It was perfect. They felt like more of a family that day than he, Jared, and Diane ever had.

“Oh, and look, there’s you and me at Mama and Daddy’s Memorial Day barbeque… oh, and here we are at the Fourth of July celebration at…” She covered her mouth with her hand as she shook her head.

He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “What’s wrong, baby?” He kissed her neck. “I thought this would make you happy.”

“I was just thinking, in every one of those pictures, I was dying a little inside because I believed you would never love me the way I loved you.”

Jake turned her into his arms and framed her face with his hands. “Honey, I was a fool. I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you, I promise.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and settled her head against his chest as she looked at the rest of the framed photographs scattered across the small tables. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jake. I’m just so grateful we got to this place.” She pointed to a small collection of photos. “God, we have so much history, don’t we?”

“A lifetime of amazing memories,” he whispered, brushing his lips against her hair.

“How do you think our families will feel about this?”

He grinned. “I happen to know for a fact that they’re thrilled.”

Jessica tipped her head back to look at him. “You told them… how you felt about me?”

“You mean that I’m completely in love with you and I’m desperate to make you my wife?” He kissed the tip of her nose when she giggled. “Yeah, they know.”

“How did they react?”

“Well, my mama slapped me upside the head and asked me why it took me so long to come to my senses.” He smirked at the memory. “She wasn’t the only one who felt that way. It seemed to be the general consensus.”

Jessica flattened her palm against her chest. “I’m so glad. I have to admit, I was a little worried about how everyone might react.”

He chuckled. “I think the only thing you have to worry about is how you’re gonna keep our mamas from inviting everyone in Brant and all the neighboring counties within a hundred mile radius to the wedding.”

She giggled. “I don’t care how many people they want to invite.” She reached up to kiss his lips. “I want the whole damn world to know that I’m finally, finally marrying the love of my life.”

Jake didn’t want to ruin this night, but he had to know. “Did you sleep with him?”

She frowned. “Bill? No, God no! How can you even ask me that?”

He brushed the hair off her face as he allowed himself to breathe again. “Do you know how much it means to me that I’ve been the only one for you? The only man you’ve ever loved or made love to…” He kissed her lips. “I can’t say I feel I’ve earned that honor yet, but it means everything to me, you need to know that.”

She pressed kisses to his cheek, jaw, and neck. “It wouldn’t have felt right with anyone else. I would have been pretending, just going through the motions. It may sound like a silly romantic notion, but I believe in soul mates, and in my heart, you are mine. No one else could take your place.”

Jake couldn’t wait one more minute to show his gratitude. He scooped her up and practically ran up the stairs to
their
bedroom.

“Oh wow,” she whispered as she nudged the door open with her foot. “This looks incredible.” Another tear slipped down her cheek and he kissed it away. “We were sitting out by my parents’ pool last summer and I was looking at that decorating magazine. I showed you a picture of a bedroom…”

He reached over and snagged a magazine clipping off the dresser. “You mean this one?”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you kept it.”

He shrugged. “At the time, I was thinking the bedding would be a nice housewarming gift when you got your own place.”

“You’re amazing.” She cupped his cheek in her palm as she kissed his lips. “Thank you, I love it.”

“I just wanted this to feel like your home, baby. I want to re-decorate Jared’s room too. You know, to give us all a fresh start, but I thought I’d let him decide what he might like.” He nodded to the smaller bedroom across the hall. “I had the painters paint that one a pale yellow. I thought it would be nice and neutral for a nursery.”

She looked up at him, obviously surprised. “Nursery?”

“Uh listen, if you want to wait a bit, we can.” But he didn’t want to wait another minute to start a family with her. She was already wonderful with his son. He couldn’t wait to see her with their baby.

“I don’t want to wait,” she whispered. “I want to have your baby, Jake. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

He grinned. “How about we start practicing right now?”

Her face fell. “Oh damn, I forgot my pills. They’re in my suitcase at…”

He kissed her. “You don’t need them.”

“You don’t mind using a condom tonight?”

He kissed her neck, a series of moist, open mouth licks and nibbles. “If you want me to, I will.”

“Jake, you’re not suggesting…”

“Would it be so terrible if you got pregnant now?” he asked, drawing her earlobe between his teeth. Just the thought of her tight, flat stomach protruding with the weight of his baby was getting him hard.

“Uh, aside from the fact that my daddy and brother would kill you?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Okay, point taken. We’ll use protection until after the wedding.”

She licked her lips. “But on our honeymoon, all bets are off, deal?”

“Oh, baby, you can count on it.”

Chapter Fifteen

Jessica watched her fiancée peel his clothes off and she could hardly believe he was all hers, finally. This was
their
bed now. She didn’t have to go home at the end of the night. She was home, at last.

“What’re you smiling about, gorgeous?” he asked, climbing on top of her.

She held up her engagement ring to admire it in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. “It just seems so surreal, you know?” She tipped her head back as he started to kiss her neck. “I can’t believe by this time next year you’ll be my husband.”

He raised his head, a scowl on his handsome face. “You must be kidding? You think I’m going to wait a whole year to make you mine?”

She ran her hands up the smooth expanse of his back. She couldn’t help but admire the muscles bunching under her fingertips as he supported his weight above her. “Honey, you know I’ve always been yours.”

He grunted. “Yeah, but I want the world to know it. And they will, just as soon as I get that little band of gold on your finger. As far as I’m concerned, it can’t be soon enough.”

She was thrilled that he was as anxious as she was to make it official. She had waited all of her adult life to become Mrs. Jake McCoy, and he was right; another year seemed like a lifetime. She closed her eyes as he licked a path up one side of her neck and down the other. “Hmm… these things take time to plan, Jake.”

“Baby, can we whip the calendar out later? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little busy right now.”