Lola's House (Lola Series) (20 page)

‘Sell that too.  We can make a whole new life for ourselves.’  He shrug
s his shoulders as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

‘Not that old chestnut again,’ I sa
y, shaking my head in disbelief.  ‘I’m happy with the life I have, James.  Why would you think I want this?’

‘I thought we needed a new start.’ His lips ha
ve now set in a stiff line.

‘But this is our new start, we’re back together, about to live together again,’ I sa
y, holding my hands out imploringly, trying to make him understand.

‘And I’m moving into your house, with your lodger,’ he sa
ys, an ugly sneer now forming.

I stop chewing and stare at him in disbelief.  ‘Is this about Robert?’

‘Yes, no not completely.  You said you would ask him to move out and he’s still there.  And the house, it’s your house, I feel like a lodger there myself.’ He pushes his hand roughly through his hair, desperation now etched on his face.

‘Well that’s ridiculous, James.  I’ve never done anything to make you feel unwelcome in the house – you can come and go as you please, which you pretty much do already.  I’ve given you loads of space to put your
clothes and I’ve given you a bedroom to use as office space.  Plus you can help me decorate the house and put your own stamp on it.  And Robert is only living there temporarily.  I don’t see why you can’t make more of an effort to get along with him.  He’s a really nice guy if you give him a chance.’ I take his hand, trying to make him see reason.

‘Looks as if you haven’t left me much choice
,’ he pouts.  ‘Can’t you even think about the holiday?’

‘Not a six month trip
, no.  I can’t leave the shop for that long and I wouldn’t expect you to bail on your job for that long either.’  I pass the brochure back to him.

‘Well something has to change, Lola, or I can’t see us making it together,’ he sa
ys, letting go of my hand and sitting back in his chair.

‘What do you mean,
James, is that a threat?’ I sit rigid in my chair.  I can’t actually believe we are having this conversation.  It feels as if we have gone back twelve months, except now Robert is in the equation too.  I feel as if I will never be able to do anything to please him.

‘No,’ he sa
ys, his face softening.  He puts his arm around me and pulls me closer to him.  ‘Of course not, I’m mad about you, Lola.  But I just think we should be starting off as a couple not a trio.  Just have a think about it, babe, that’s all I’m asking.’

I leave James at the Coffee Pot with the excuse the shop will be busy so I have to get back.  As I storm through the door, my face like thunder, Muriel takes one look at me and grabs my hand, pulling me into the back room, shutting the door firmly behind us.

‘I’m guessing that it wasn’t a nice surprise?’ she sa
ys, putting the kettle on to boil and pulling two cups from the shelf above.

‘No.  I’m bloody fuming, Muriel.  I just don’t know what planet he lives on.’ I roughly
take off my jacket and sling it on the back of the chair.

‘Why, what has he done?’
she asks, holding onto my arm.

I relay the conversation from lunch to Muriel while she ma
kes strong tea and as an afterthought puts in a slug of medicinal brandy, perfect for emotional breakdowns.  She digests the information I give her and I can see her brain working overtime putting it all into perspective.  At the end of my rant she looks at me and says.  ‘He has got a point, Lola.’

I stare at her gobsmacked.  ‘What, you agree with him?’

‘Not about the six-month holiday no, that’s just folly.  But he does live in your house which you share with an incredibly good looking young man.  It’s no surprise he feels jealous.’ She has always had the remarkable ability to see things from all sides.

‘But it’s not like I’m going to do anything with Robert, he’s just at my house because he needed somewhere to stay temporarily.  He will be finding his own place soon.’  In the back of my mind I can
see an action replay of me kissing Robert on the rainy night a few months back and then another scene plays in my head of me running my hand over his chest and down his stomach feeling myself tingle all over while I spooned him in Brighton.  Then the realisation hits me, James has every reason to be worried.  My cheeks flush with the thought.

As if she is reading my mind Muriel holds my hands and looks me straight in the eyes and says.   ‘Maybe sooner would be better
, Lola, if you want to keep James.’

‘But you said before that he should try and get along with Robert?’ I
take another sip of brandy soaked tea, feeling my senses starting to float.  ‘Why the change of heart?’

‘I’ve not always been a big fan of James, you know that, Lola?  But I have tried for your sake.  You obviously think a lot of him, and for that I w
ill always give him the benefit of the doubt, unless of course I discovered he was doing something that I found totally unacceptable, then I would let him know about it.’  She puts her arm around my shoulders to comfort me.  ‘However, he’s not a man’s man.  He’s territorial.  He doesn’t like the thought of another man in the vicinity of his girlfriend.  A really good looking, charming man.  It’s competition for him.  And I can see how you look at Robert.  You probably don’t realise it but your face lights up at the merest mention of his name.  How do you think James feels about that?  How would you feel if the situation was reversed and there was a good looking woman getting cosied up with James, and you could see she was having the same effect on him as Robert has on you?’

I fe
el my heart plummet in my chest.  I know she is right but I have been too blinkered to see it.  Yes, I have a very strong attraction to Robert, but the point is I haven’t acted on it, apart from the drunken kiss, which I hadn’t planned and did while not in full control of my senses. Everyone has done things while under the influence of alcohol that they probably wouldn’t do when sober. And, I know deep in my heart that I would never cheat on James, irrespective of the circumstances.  I’d never cheated on anyone.  I felt he should have a little more faith in me, and stop dreaming up wild arsed schemes to manipulate the circumstances to his own ends. I agree James could be jealous and even childish when things didn’t go his way, but to suggest I sell up my whole life to appease this side of him was completely ridiculous.  It was like using a sledgehammer to knock in a drawing pin. 

But the whole situation just didn’t sit right with me. 
It was nagging at the back of my mind and alarm bells were sounding.  Something inside me was starting to unravel and I wasn’t entirely sure where it would lead me.

Chapter Twenty

I’m lying in bed replaying the events of yesterday in my head. James had been at the house when I got back from work last night, still pouting his discontent.  Although I sympathised that it perhaps was a difficult situation for him
, I was beginning to lose patience with his moodiness.  We spent the evening discussing how he felt and he even apologised for being so thoughtless for asking me to sell up and fly off on holiday on a whim, which was a massive departure for his personality.  But, he was as usual living in his own sphere and it didn’t cross his mind to consider I may have some thoughts on the situation.  And as each day passed, I was beginning to feel more and more irritated with his childish ways.

Nevertheless, I was never a big fan of confrontation and discord so I took the easy road.  I forgave him and we had called a truce. 
But when we got into bed last night I felt totally worn down by the day.  It was as if I was spending all of my time defending him to everyone, and then he was constantly throwing it back in my face by acting like a spoilt brat.  So, when he moved over to me in the bed and ran his hand up and down my body, I pretended to be asleep.  Eventually he gave up and huffed over to his own pillow, while I stared at the darkened window, watching the headlights of the occasional car go by.  He left early this morning to play rugby and was to return to London this afternoon. 

So
now, I have the whole day to speak to Robert and find out what his plans are, and whether there is any chance he will be moving out soon, as my jealous boyfriend feels insecure at his presence.  Obviously I won’t phrase it quite like that.

I c
an hear Robert moving around downstairs, and can’t put this off any longer, so I swing my legs out of bed ready for action.  On second thoughts, maybe I can stall a little longer while I take a shower.  After a full body scrub, deep conditioning treatment on my hair, face mask, shaving, plucking and anything else I can think of to delay going downstairs, I eventually emerge from the shower.

I dress in skinny jeans, a sky blue strappy top and a pair of flip flops.  One last look in the mirror confirm
s I am looking presentable, so I take a deep breath and make my way downstairs. 

There’
s no sign of life in the kitchen.  But there is a strong smell of freshly brewed coffee, so I grab two mugs and fill them both, a little bit of cream in mine.  The back door is wide open and I can hear movement outside.  Stepping out into the sunshine I find Harley, continually running round in circles chasing his tail, yapping every few seconds when he almost catches it.  He stops when he realises I am there and wags his tail furiously at my feet.  I give him a pat on the head and rub his ears while holding the mugs steady in my other hand.  He shoots off in the direction of the garage where I realise Robert is inside moving stuff around.

As I walk through the doors, I find Robert standing amongst the now dusty tools. 
The garage had been added by my granddad after they had moved into the house many years ago.  Although it had never been used to house a car, it had in fact been a workroom for my granddad and still has all of his wood working tools inside, just as he had left them.  Cobwebs hang from the ceiling and dust motes float in the air, it’s an assault on my senses coming into this space, as if time has never moved on.  It smells the same and feels the same as when I was a child, the only thing missing is my granddad. 

‘This place is amazing.  I could spend hours in here,’ Robert sa
ys, as I enter.  He picks up a plane and examines it closely.

‘Yes, I know.  I used to love it in here when I was a child.’  I watch his face deep in concentration turning the plane over in his hand.  I put the mug of coffee in front of him.

‘Thanks,’ he says, picking up the mug and taking a sip.  ‘Have you not thought of using this space for something?’

‘
It’s not like I’m short on space in the house, so there hasn’t really been any need for it,’ I say, looking up at the roof space where I can see daylight in one corner.  ‘Plus I don’t know how sound the building is.  I thought it may have to come down eventually.’

‘The construc
tion is pretty good actually, because it’s been sheltered by the house and the garden wall, the brickwork is in quite good condition.  You just need to fix the roof and that wouldn’t take long to do.  I could help you out with that, it would probably only take a day’s work.’

I hesitate for a second.  ‘I’m not really sure how much of a priority it is.  Or what I’d use it for.’

He looks at me with a wry smile on his face.  ‘You could always store your car in here in the winter.’

‘Of course,’ I smile, obvious really.

‘Would you mind if I clear some of this into boxes for storage and get the roof fixed.  It wouldn’t cost you anything,’ he says, smiling again.  ‘I could do with a safe place to store the Harley Davidson.’

I hesitate again.  Wasn’t I supposed to be asking him to move out?  I
examine his face, full of fascination with this space.  James had only been in the garage once and he had grimaced at the dust and then washed his hands at the first opportunity, even though he hadn’t touched anything. 

Robert s
ees the uncertainty on my face.  ‘It’s okay if you’d rather I left it as it is.  I could just fix the roof for you and make it watertight.’

‘No, you’re right it does need a clear out in here, it’s not like I am planning to start woodworking anytime soon.  And I guess it make
s sense to fix the roof.’  I pick up a file and blow the dust off it while I give my mind chance to put into words what I need to say.  ‘And if you need to store the bike after you have found another place to live that’s fine.’  Not very subtle I know.

‘Great thanks
, but it seems like I’ve looked at so many houses now and none are quite right.  Plus the flat in Edinburgh still hasn’t sold.  You might be stuck with me for a while yet, but at least it will give me chance to fix this roof and a few other things around here.  I know it must be mounting up having Ned to do all of the work – anything I can do to help you out will reduce the costs considerably,’ he says, pulling down some cobwebs from the corner of the roof space and inspecting the hole in the roof.  ‘And I’ll try and keep out of the way so you and James have space for yourself.  I know it can’t be easy having me here playing gooseberry.’

‘Yo
u’re not a gooseberry,’ I laugh, James wouldn’t agree with that of course.

He st
ands with his back against the workbench, coffee poised ready to sip.  He must have read my mind as he says, ‘I get the feeling James may not see it the same way.’ 

‘James has had a lifetime of getting his own way.  It’s complicated, but I’ve enjoyed having you live here, it’s made the house feel like home again.’  I blush at my own honesty not sure where it
is coming from. 

‘Well I don’t want to cause any problems for you, Lola,’ he sa
ys, earnestly.

In my head, I know there will be consequences for what I say next, but I have reached a point where I have to draw a line to stop my future being dictated to me.

‘There isn’t a problem, I can handle James.  You can stay for as long as you need to.’  And that’s how I came to the decision Robert could stay until he was ready to move out and James would just have to get used to it. 

It was also the beginning of a series of events that would change everything.

The following morning, I st
and in the shop looking out the window, watching people in the street walking past and going about their business, bags in hand.  A woman is pushing a buggy with a baby inside and an older child stood on the back, gripping the handle to hold himself steady. 

Muriel
is straightening the bags under the counter when she stops and looks at me.  ‘Penny for them?’ she says.

‘Sorry?’  I turn from the window to face her, suddenly pulled from my reverie.

‘What’s got into you today, Lola?  It’s like you’re in another place.’

‘I am in another place.  I think I’ve made a mistake, Muriel.’

She comes and stands next to me.  ‘How, what have you done?’

‘
Remember the conversation we had the other day?  It’s made me think a lot about life and the choices I’ve made.  Rash choices, where I have allowed myself to be carried along with the flow,’ I say, my mind very much on the weekend just gone. 

‘Do you want to talk about it?  You know I’ll always help you out where I can, Lola.’

‘Thanks, but I’m not sure you can help me, Muriel,’ I reply, still watching the passersby.

‘Give me a try and we’ll see, shall we?’ she says, smiling.

‘I was supposed to do something yesterday, but having given it some thought I changed my mind, and now James is going to be really mad at me.’

‘Okay, well can’t you explain
your decision to him, make him see things your way?’

‘Well that’
s the crux of the matter - I don’t really care what he thinks anymore.’

‘Oh, that sounds pretty final, Lola.’

‘I think you’re right, it is final,’ I say, feeling clear headed at last.

‘Is it to do with…’ she doesn’t finish her sentence but I know exactly where it’s going.

‘No, it’s not about Robert.  He’s seeing someone now and will probably move out when he finds somewhere to settle down.  But having him around has made me see things differently, made me see alternatives and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I really want for the future.’

She hangs onto my words, waiting for me to finish.
 

‘
And well, I can’t see James in my future.  I think I got back together with him out of a sense of duty and it’s just not working out for me.’  I look back to the window - the woman with the buggy is disappearing round the corner, the child still clinging to the back and beginning to get fractious, the woman bends down to speak in his ear.  Whatever she says soothes him and he immediately calms down.  If only life was that simple, I think to myself.

‘
I need to speak to him about it.  But that will have to wait until after the party, I can’t handle any upsets until I have gotten that out of the way.’ 

Muriel
squeezes my hand but doesn’t question me on my decision, she knows in her heart I don’t belong with James, she was just waiting for me to realise it myself. 

Over the next few days the shop becomes a hive of activity.  We finish off the painting.  Muriel and I go through the rails with a fine tooth comb - anything that doesn’t fit with the image we are trying to present is put on the sale rail, which we will remove from the shop before the big day.  We hang everything else in garment order, dresses on one rail, suits on another, skirts and tops have their own rails too.  I get a collection of evening bags, coats and dresses from a house clearance.  Some of the bags we can sell, the coats and dresses have to be dry cleaned, although a few go straight to the charity shop. 

The invitations ha
ve gone out, flowers and food are organised.  We have bought cases of wine and champagne and hired glasses from the pub for the night.  Although we have only had ten days to arrange everything, it feels as if it has been going on forever. 

Everyone ha
s worked so hard to pull it all together; especially Muriel, so I’ll do something really special for her to say thank you.  But for now, I am eager just to get on with it.