Lone Oak Feud (Harlequin Heartwarming) (10 page)

“I didn’t want to be right.” Her voice was soft, gentle. He wanted to believe her.

How was it she continually had him off balance? He was used to being in charge, used to having control—over himself and others. Lindsey tended to surprise him. Pull the opposite of what he expected.

“Any idea what you’re going to do next?”

Again, it was her tone. Not condescending. No hint of victory. Just...concern. Interest.

“I don’t know.” Three little words that seemed huge. “Take her back in, I guess. Might be time for a specialist.”

Lindsey nodded. “A neurologist. I think there’s one in Manhattan, but Topeka’s your best bet.”

“I might bring her to Wichita with me. Then I could take care of some business while I’m there.”

“What about Owen?”

“I still don’t know, Lindsey.”

“I meant while you do business in Wichita. You wouldn’t leave him with Josh, would you?”

He shared her irritation with his brother. Her emotions went far beyond irritation, but he agreed—right now, he couldn’t leave Owen with Josh. Not if he couldn’t trust Josh to be sober.

Zach shook his head and looked away. “The deal with Josh—it’s not going as well as I’d hoped.” He really hated owning up to that. He still thought they could turn things around, but it wouldn’t happen until he got Josh to stop drinking. To do that, Josh had to be home long enough for them to talk.

“He doesn’t want to be there?”

“That’s the thing. I think he does. But he hasn’t stayed home for more than a couple hours at a time. He doesn’t know what to do with Owen.” Which was all too familiar to Zach. “Anyway, if I have to, I can take O with me to Wichita. My boss’s wife would love to watch him.”

She was thoughtful, and thankfully silent, but he knew that wasn’t the end of it. He focused on the faint, lone freckle near her left cheekbone and found himself wanting to run his finger over it. He hadn’t noticed it before. Did makeup cover more freckles or was it the only one?

“We’ve talked about a solution before, you know.” Lindsey looked at the ground when she said it, knowing he’d protest.

“Lindsey. You can’t think my adopting him would be best for Owen.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not cut out—” He stopped talking when she pressed her mittened hand to his chest.

“You don’t have to commit to it tonight,” she said quietly. “Owen loves you. He trusts you, Zach. He’d rather be with you than anyone.”

Zach looked off to the side, down the street, and Lindsey stepped to the edge of the curb, until she was inches away from him and nearly eye level. She studied his profile—his jaw wasn’t locked as it frequently was when they argued. His lips were parted slightly, and his expression was one of trepidation.

He didn’t acknowledge that she’d moved closer, so Lindsey shoved her mittens in her pocket and brushed his cheek lightly with her bare fingers. He turned his face toward her, finally met her gaze. Her fingers found his and grasped them, just the tips.

She didn’t know if she leaned closer for her sake or for his. Wasn’t aware of making a conscious decision. All she knew was that he was way too down on himself, and she didn’t want him to be.

The idea of kissing him was never really a coherent thought, but the closer they got, the more impossible it was not to. When her lips were a breath from his, she heard a faint warning in the back of her mind, but the pull of the man in front of her was far stronger.

His mouth was warm and moist, in spite of the cold and wind. She started to pull away to gauge his reaction, but she wanted another taste. A longer one. Their lips met again, and his hand moved to her hip, his fingers applying enough pressure to keep her close. Their other hands were still entwined, and he tightened his grip. She leaned into him, feeling heat where their bodies met, from chest to thighs, despite their winter coats.

She wrapped her arms around him, needing him nearer. The world around them fell out of focus and Lindsey’s entire being centered on the sensations this man was causing. Light-headedness. Heat. Excitement.

He pulled her closer, and she ran her fingers through his hair, drawing him to her possessively. Every nerve in her body was connected to him.

Without warning, Zach broke the contact of their lips and drew his head back. Confused, Lindsey blinked up at him.

He wouldn’t meet her eyes. He straightened, which forced Lindsey to take a step back away from the edge of the curb, away from the warmth of his body. Away from what she’d thought felt like magic.

“I need to get Owen home.”

The cool air blew between them, and Lindsey took another step back. She’d been rejected by Zach before, and she had no earthly clue why she’d just given in to the desire to kiss him again.

“Yeah. So go.”
Walk away. Leave me feeling like an idiot.

He paused to brush her hair behind her ear. She could swear there was tenderness in the gesture, some kind of feeling for her behind it.

But then he stalked off, making his way to the driver’s side of the truck. Before opening the door, he said, “Thanks, Salinger,” then got in.

She was back to being Salinger.

As Zach started the engine, she made a point of waving to Owen. When he didn’t wave back, she realized his head tipped at an angle that could only mean he’d fallen asleep. Bless his heart, she’d worn him out.

She didn’t wave to Zach. She’d already given him too much tonight.

Zach revved it and turned around in her driveway. He got out of there as fast as he could considering the snowy street. Without glancing sideways, he knew she hadn’t moved, sensed she stood there and watched the truck until it disappeared around the corner.

Why had he let that kiss happen?

He scoffed. Obviously because he’d wanted it, every bit of it and more.

Zach flipped the radio on. As loud as he dared with a sleeping kid. He fought to listen to the lyrics, but his mind kept returning to that kiss.

Not even a deep kiss. He’d barely touched her for longer than a few seconds. Yet he could still feel his blood pounding. He could still discern the scent of her hair as it blew around his face.

He didn’t like to feel. Didn’t like to want so much. Rational thoughts were safer and far easier than these out-of-control emotions.

Lindsey could turn him into a mindless idiot with a single touch, and that was something he couldn’t afford. There was too much at stake with her. She had the power to open up too much of him. There was no future for them, no point in him wanting anything from her. He knew a woman like her couldn’t love a man like him.

Once he could settle things down for his grandma, Josh and Owen, it was back to Wichita, back to his life. The one he had control over.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

L
INDSEY
TOOK
TIME
TO
GO
inside and change out of her damp clothes before returning to her dad’s house. She didn’t want to follow Zach directly. She didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to think about what had just happened. She’d beaten herself up enough already.

Twenty minutes later, she pulled up to the curb at her dad’s. She hopped out without a glance next door. She was nervous enough about facing her dad, even though there was no way he could know she’d kissed Zach. Giving another moment’s analysis to her spontaneous stupidity would make her nauseous.

Thank goodness for slow-cookers. Before she’d gone outside to shovel the driveway, she’d told her dad to eat when he was hungry, not to wait for her. So at least he wasn’t sitting around waiting for dinner.

Instead, he sat at the kitchen table waiting for
her
.

She’d been hoping she could slip in unnoticed...that he’d fallen asleep or gotten caught up in a crossword puzzle or...something.

“Where have you been?” His voice was relatively quiet, so it was a safe guess he didn’t know about the accident next door.

“There was a minor accident nearby. I went to help.”

She didn’t look directly at him, busied herself with spooning out a bowl of soup.
Please, let it drop.

“Where was the accident?”

Lindsey’s back was to him as she sawed off a thick slice of sunflower bread. “Next door. No one was hurt.” She turned and brought the food to the table.

He held back a comment—she could actually see him consciously bite down on it.

Lindsey sat across from him and ate in silence.

It would kill him if he found out she’d kissed Zach.

She’d
kissed
him,
for goodness sake. She had every reason not to look at Zach, let alone touch him. If she was brutally honest, she’d loved it, too. She hadn’t given her dad’s feelings a thought until later.

Well, one thing was certain. She’d pushed Zach farther away by kissing him. She wouldn’t have to worry about anything deeper developing between them. Maybe her dumb move was a good thing after all.

She absently stirred her soup.

“Have you heard from Mrs. Hale today?” Lindsey asked when she could no longer stand the quiet.

Her dad mumbled an affirmative.

“Is she coming home soon?”

“You tired of babysitting?”

“I’m not babysitting. I’m helping you out when you need it.” Just liked she always had. She had no problem with it, and he never had, either. Until now.

“Hmph.”

“You’ve been a grump since she left.”

“You try sitting in the same house, day after day, while people mess up your newspaper. I’m going stir-crazy, Lindsey.”

“You two have something going on I should know about, Dad?”

“Who two?”

“You and Mrs. Hale.”

He wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Nah, nothing going on. She’s a good woman to put up with me.”

“You can say that again.” Lindsey took a bite of bread and watched him while she chewed. “You care about her.”

“I just said—”

“I mean beyond that. More than a friend.”

He seemed flustered, didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Just a friend,” he finally muttered. “I’m going to read and hit the sack.”

Which spoke volumes.

The idea would take some getting used to, but he deserved to find someone to make him happy. He’d spent so many years mourning his wife and devoting all his energy to his job.

Searing regret burned Lindsey’s chest when she thought about his pain—all because she’d begged her mom to go to a movie with her on the wrong night at the wrong time.

As her dad left the room, Lindsey closed her eyes and concentrated on blocking out her thoughts. Focused on anything but her mom’s accident. She was skilled at it after so many years.

Lindsey poured the rest of her soup down the sink. Guilt had a way of killing the best of appetites.

* * *

E
LSA
SAT
LISTLESSLY
at the kitchen table, waiting for Zach and Owen to come home for lunch the next day. Joshua was holed up in his room. There seemed to be a wide rift between them since he’d come back. She frowned and rubbed her temples.

Every inch of her body ached from the accident, but the physical pain had nothing on the torment inside her. Her life was changing, and as far as she could see, it was all going downhill.

How could she trust herself to get behind the wheel again? Especially with Owen in tow? She couldn’t. Terror overwhelmed her at the mere thought of driving.

Which presented yet another problem. How could she
not
drive without raising Zachary’s suspicion? Once he left—and she knew he would soon—what would she do? How long would Joshua stick around this time? She’d meant what she said to Zachary about helping Joshua change, but with each day that passed, her conviction that he could change went a little more to pot.

She’d been spoiled for the past couple weeks, letting Zachary take Owen to and from school, run errands. Without a big turnaround on Joshua’s part, those duties would be her responsibility once again when Zachary left. She couldn’t let her great-grandson down.

She should confess to Zachary what was going on with her...only she didn’t know what it was. And she was scared to death to figure it out.

No. She couldn’t tell her grandson something was wrong with her head. She refused to be the reason his job got messed up in Wichita. She was supposed to look out for him, not the other way around.

Just then the truck pulled into the driveway. Elsa didn’t rise from the table, but she saw Zachary’s head pass by the window. And keep on going into the yard.

She stood so she could see where he was going, but he kept walking, out of her view.

The back door opened and Owen entered with a loud greeting. She went to the door, not only to hug him but to see what Zachary was up to.

What was he doing in the Salinger backyard talking to Lindsey? Probably apologizing for the inconvenience his senile granny had caused her yesterday. The girl had been helpful, reassuring. And having her take Owen away had been a relief. He didn’t need to witness his great-grandma losing it.

* * *

T
HE
DAY
AFTER
HER
FAUX
PAS
with Zach, Lindsey’s schedule was screwy—she’d had an early morning meeting and had two evening appointments—so she didn’t feel bad about taking a long lunch hour to finish the shoveling.

Her muscles whimpered after she’d been at it for close to an hour. She was almost done, thank goodness. Never again would she choose exercise over convenience.

“Hey, Salinger!”

Lindsey frowned at the sound of Zach’s voice and automatically glanced toward the house to see if her dad was lurking. He wasn’t.

The voice came from the backyard. She walked a few steps to look around the edge of the house. Zach stood on the property line and when he saw her, he gestured to her to come over.

She shouldn’t. But she did.

“What’s up?” She tried so hard to keep her voice indifferent and uninterested.

Their eyes met and he glanced at her lips, as if remembering her stupid move yesterday. Except it didn’t look like he considered it a stupid move, judging by the flash of interest in his eyes. That one glance was enough to heat her blood.

“I wanted to say thanks.”

Thanks? For kissing him? “Why?”

“You went out of your way to help us. I’m sure your dad didn’t take kindly to it.”

Lindsey, get your mind off the kiss.

“It wasn’t a problem.” Small lie on so many levels. “I like Owen. He’s a great kid.”

Zach nodded. “I also meant with my grandma. I, uh, didn’t handle things too well.”

“Oh. You’re welcome. You were upset. She knows. I was just relieved she didn’t take my head off.”

Zach laughed. “You’re not so bad, you know that?”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Sure would make things easier if you were.”

He turned and walked away, leaving her to wonder what he meant.

* * *

Z
ACHARY
TURNED
AND
trudged back through the snowy yards toward Elsa, and she ducked her head inside.

“How was your day?” she asked Owen.

“We had recess inside!” Which apparently translated into a good day. “We played Duck Duck Goose and a hiding game.”

Elsa listened as the boy rattled off the details before he wandered into the living room to his box of Hot Wheels. Zachary came inside, stomping off his boots on the door frame.

“Hey, Gram.”

“When did you get so friendly with the Salingers?” She didn’t mean to sound so harsh.

The guilty look on his face would’ve made her chuckle if she’d been in a better state of mind.

“I wouldn’t call it friendly, really. I thanked Lindsey for her help.”

“Now that I think about it, you two were mighty familiar with each other yesterday. Something going on with the Salinger girl I should know about?”

Zachary wouldn’t meet her eyes, which made her grin.

“Not what you think.” He removed his jacket and draped it over a chair as was his habit—always had been. He sat at the table and she followed suit. Taking a deep breath, he leaned his elbows on the table but still avoided eye contact. “Lindsey’s the reason I came back to town in the first place.”

He caught her off guard, but she kept any sign of it from her face.

“She called me after she found Owen outside by himself. She was...worried.”

Elsa frowned. This wasn’t going at all where she’d expected. “What was she concerned about?” As if she couldn’t figure it out.

“You. She thought maybe you were having problems. Was surprised to find Josh gone and you in charge.”

“Who was surprised to find me gone?” Joshua stood in the doorway. Clearly, he’d just woken up.

“Sit down,” Zach told him. “You’re part of this.”

“Doesn’t sound like something I want to be involved in.” He ambled over and sat, anyway.

Nervously, Elsa brushed away nonexistent crumbs on the table. “I’ve been responsible for kids plenty of times before. You two included.” She couldn’t help being defensive.

“I know, Gram. I know. I told her she was off base.”

“But you rushed home.”

“I came to Lone Oak to make sure she understood not to mess with us.”

“Who are we talking about here?” Joshua asked.

“Lindsey.” Zach motioned toward the Salinger house.

“You came home to check on me,” Elsa said.

He faced her. “Well, yeah. I didn’t believe you were having trouble, but I had to make sure.”

Zachary’s voice wavered, and Elsa knew he’d changed his mind. Why had she gotten in that car yesterday? She’d had a spell earlier in the day and while she’d recovered from it, she obviously hadn’t been up for driving. She didn’t know what to say. Waited in fear for him to speak instead.

“Gram.”

She leaned on the table like a school child who knew she deserved punishment. The moment of truth was here. No matter how strong her instinct to fight it.

“I’m starting to think Lindsey might be right,” Zachary said.

“Who’s listening to her?” Joshua demanded angrily. “She doesn’t know a thing about us.”

Elsa ignored him.

She’d lose her freedom. Have a babysitter hovering over her all the time. Be the talk of the town, the entertainment for the week.

It felt like a physical blow squeezed the air right out of her lungs. She couldn’t swallow, couldn’t get enough oxygen in. Pressure built behind her eyes. She talked herself through a couple of breaths. In. Out.

“I’m starting to think she might be right, too,” she said quietly.

She didn’t glance at Zachary but she could feel his stare.

“That’s crazy, Gram. You’re just fine.” Joshua had never handled problems well. His confidence in her was nice, but she was afraid it was misplaced this time.

Zachary leaned toward her and awkwardly touched her twisted old fingers. “What’s going on, Gram? You’ve got to tell me everything.”

The pressure turned to tears. She never used to be such a baby. Closing her eyes, she nodded.

Tears fell and wandered down her cheeks, but it was no more mortifying than admitting to her grandsons she was losing her mind.

“I have...spells, I guess. I forget what I’m doing, where I’m going. Sometimes forget names. Faces.”

He didn’t look entirely surprised. “How long has this been going on?”

She pulled her hand from Zachary’s to support her forehead, elbow on the table. “Several months.”

“Since Christmas? When I was here then?”

“It’s gotten...worse lately.”

“You’ve never seen any problems?” Zachary asked Joshua.

“I haven’t been here much.”

“And when you’re here, you’re drunk.”

“Get lost.”

“Boys.” Her head was pounding.

Joshua stood and stomped out of the room. She heard the television click on. She hated to think it, but it was probably just as well right now. He didn’t seem in the mood to be useful.

Zachary turned back to her, thoughtful. Not condescending as she’d expected. “Yesterday?” he asked. “Was that one of your spells?”

“The wreck wasn’t, no. But I’d had one earlier.”

He hopped up and dug through one of the drawers for the phone book. She tried to ignore him as he flipped through the yellow pages. While she was relieved the truth was out, she dreaded the future. Things weren’t going to get any better, only worse. She could feel it in her old bones.

Zachary slammed the skinny phone book shut, frustrated. “I’ll call Dr. Fletcher to get a referral. I think it’s time we go to a specialist.” He returned to sit beside her. “It’ll be okay, Gram. We’ll get it figured out.”

The sadness in his expression nearly did her in. All she could do was nod and look away. She knew it wouldn’t be okay.