Look After Me (19 page)

The thought of hitting up a club just doesn’t appeal to me. I’m barely six weeks out of rehab, and even though I’m in a pretty good place right now, I don’t want to risk that with possible temptations. Clubs are notorious for drug use, and even though I’m fairly confident I’d be able to decline any offers, there’s still a part of me that craves it. So for now it’s nights in with my trusty Netflix to keep me company.

“That’s cool, man. You got anything good planned?”

I shrug my shoulders, trying to come up with my acceptable lie. “I’m spending quality time with my daughter tonight.” As much as I wish this were true, it’s not.

“You have a daughter?”

“Yeah, Lily-Mai. She’s one.” I beam proudly, smiling at the very mention of my baby girl.

“That’s awesome. I have a boy, Dillon. He’s fourteen and lives with his mama in California, so I don’t get to see him much.”

“I’m sorry. That must really suck.” I should count my lucky stars that Ava lives here in Seattle and not hundreds of miles away in a different state. That isn’t a scenario I ever want playing out in front of me.

“It is what it is, you know?” He shrugs as if it’s not a big deal but I get the distinct impression it’s a bigger deal than he’s actually letting on. “Well, I’m outta here. Enjoy your time with your daughter but you’re going to be missing out on some fine pussy tonight, my friend,” he says, slapping me on the shoulder.

And that’s probably why he’s single and hundreds of miles away from his son. I’ve seen him around this place, the way he is with women, and he has no shame. It’s pitiful really. I like good pussy as much as the next guy but there’s a time and place, and the middle of a workday isn’t one of them.

“Maybe next time.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, man.” He gives me another brotherly slap on the shoulder before walking away. Even though I’m not a big fan of his man-whore ways with women, I kind of wish I had his confidence. I left Addison’s last Saturday determined to hook up with a chick in order to get her out of my head but then I realized I have no idea how to woo a woman into bed. I have no idea how to flirt or even approach a woman.

I’ve been out of the ‘dating’ game a long time. I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship in my entire thirty-two years on this earth and that was with Ava. I’ve had brief sexual relationships with other women that lasted only a couple of months, and a few one-night stands, but that’s as far as my romantic life goes. And the thing I had with Lola wasn’t even a relationship; it was barely a
thing.
It was a blur of tequila shots, lines of cocaine and really bad sex. It was so bad that I can’t even remember it which I’m extremely thankful for. Those three months of my life are something I don’t want to recollect ever again.

In order to hook up with a chick, I need to go out and party. But partying comes at a huge price and that is something I can’t afford to be careless with. That lifestyle is something I need to steer clear of.

So that leaves me with only three options.

One: Follow Jacob’s lead and sleep with my entire clientele list.

Two: Make every one of my wet dreams come true by fucking Addison.

Three: Continue with my subscription of porn and the faithful relationship I’ve recently developed with my hand.

Option one isn’t happening because I’m not an asshole. Option two I’ve already established is never going to happen. So it looks like option three is my only option and everybody knows that jerking off only works for a short amount of time before your body begins to yearn for the real thing. That no amount of jerking off will ever satisfy you enough. Considering I’m way past the satisfying jerking off mark, it’s safe to say I’m never going to get laid again.

So with that, it looks like my plan to eradicate Addison from my mind has failed because I’ve lost my touch with the art of seduction.

I officially suck.

Later that evening after I’ve eaten my Chinese food for one, I decide to bum out on the couch and resume my
24
marathon. About halfway through, my phone sounds with the text message chime. I smile when I see it’s from Addison.

Addison:
What you up to? xoxo

Me:
Nothing much. Just
living the life of a
bachelor and watching 24. Lol.

Addison:
You want some company? I’m kinda bored. xoxo

And just because I like to torture myself I reply with:

Sure. Do you want me to come to you?

Even though it’s only nine-thirty I hate the thought of her walking the streets on her own, especially after what happened to her last Friday night.

Addison:
No. I’ll come to your place. xoxo

Addison:
And don’t worry, I’m getting a cab ;) xoxo

After a short while, I hear the sound of the buzzer shrill through my apartment, indicating Addison’s arrival. I let her straight up with the door already opened as she gets off the elevator. I notice immediately how she’s no longer limping and her bruises have faded.

“Hey, you’re not limping.” I smile. As she approaches, I notice how her gaze keeps moving towards my chest. She’s a little too sidetracked to even say a simple hello. That’s when I realize I’m not wearing a shirt and she’s blatantly eye fucking my bare chest. Humored and, quite frankly, a little turned on, I cough for her attention. Her gaze moves from my chest up to my eyes, her face flushed.

“Um, you need to put a shirt on,” she says unabashedly as she walks straight past me. I chuckle as I follow and close the door behind me. She turns to me, her gaze moving down to my chest before resuming eye contact. “Seriously, you need to put a shirt on. How do you expect a girl to concentrate when she’s greeted with that?” she asks, pointing towards my abs. I laugh again, finding her flustered state adorable.

“It’s just skin, Addison,” I say, wanting to torment her for a little longer. She looks back down to my chest for a brief moment before her eyes flicker back to mine, noticeably wider.

“That is not just skin, you’re ripped, like
Magic Mike
ripped. The kind of ripped that make women like me lose the ability to speak. So unless you want my eyes constantly on your abs for the rest of the evening, I suggest you cover up.”

“I’m sorry,” I say seriously. “I’ll go and put a shirt on.”

Once I’ve put on a shirt, I head back to Addison, who is sitting comfortably on the sofa, scrolling intently through her phone.

“Happy now?” I ask, pointing to my shirt-covered chest.

She looks up from her phone, and her gaze swoops over my chest before reaching my face. “Very.” She smiles.

I walk towards the sofa and take a seat beside her. I take a good look at her face, noticing how the bruises have almost faded away and her lip is healing nicely. “Your face looks better. You can hardly see any bruising.”

“Ah, that’s the magic of makeup,” she says knowingly as she clicks her phone off and places it on the coffee table with ease. This time last week she could barely move an inch without crying out in sheer agony.

“Still, you’re looking better, and your limp is gone.”

She gives a gentle smile as she sits back, tucking her legs underneath her. “I feel better. My girlfriend Cassie took me for some much-needed TLC this afternoon and treated me to a full body massage. It was amazing. Definitely what I needed. I’m feeling exhausted now though. It seems having an hour’s worth of masculine hands massaging your body is just as exhausting as a three hour workout.” She laughs.

A green shade of jealousy circles through my veins at the image of a guy touching her naked body, pleasuring her in ways unimaginable with his bare hands, and I hate it. Those massaging pornos suddenly come to mind; the ones where the guy is massaging the girl before making subtle touches against her forbidden place, gradually working up to full frontal touching. Eventually, she’s sucking his dick before he slams himself inside her wet pussy. Okay, so maybe I’ve been watching too much porn, but the thought of some guy’s hands on her sweet, beautiful skin just tears me up.

“Masculine? So a guy massaged you?”

She smirks. “Um, yes. That’s what I meant by masculine. Why are you asking?”

I shrug nonchalantly, pretending I don’t care. “Nothing, just wondering. It’s usually a woman’s job, you know?” Oh wow, now she’s going to think I’m a sexist pig.

I can’t mistake the slight frown that appears on her lips before she bursts out into laughter. “Wow, sexist much?” Her laughter quickly subsides. “I understand your curiosity though. I was a bit apprehensive about a guy doing it, but as it happens he was gay, so I had nothing to worry about. Not that I would have had to worry if he weren’t gay, but you know what I mean.”

Relief spreads through me and the jealousy fades away. I’ve already established that I’m attracted to her, I mean look at her, you’d be blind not to feel something. But the insecurities, the jealousy, and the tightening in my chest are beyond attraction, and I’m not quite sure how to deal with them.

“Do you want something to drink?”

She tilts her head to look at me with that beautiful smile that threatens to knock me off my feet every single time. “Yeah, a drink sounds great.”

Taking a ridiculously long time grabbing two Sprites from the fridge—a bid to push all of my confusing thoughts to the back of my head but failing miserably—I finally return and hand her one as I sit beside her on the sofa.

“Is Sprite okay?”

Again she beams her incredible smile, and I’m almost done for. “It’s perfect.”

Once she takes a sip, she places the soda on the coffee table before leaning into the comfort of the sofa, turning her attention back to me.

“Oh, I have some news,” she begins with a huge smile on her face. “The police called this morning. They arrested the girl who attacked me. It seems she’s bat shit crazy, and already has a criminal record for numerous second-degree assaults. She was on probation when she attacked me with an arrest warrant out for her for a previous assault. It looks like she’s going to be spending a while in jail.”

“Holy shit.” I breathlessly laugh.

“I know, right?”

“I thought the process would have taken a lot longer or that you’d have to testify.”

“Yeah, I did too, but she pleaded guilty straight away—thanks to the marvel of surveillance. Plus, violating her probation didn’t do her any favors.” She sighs. “I’m just thankful I don’t have to testify and I can try and put it behind me.”

I smile. “It’s awesome news. I’m glad the psycho bitch is paying for what she did.”

Addison reaches for her drink and takes another sip. “Anyway, enough about her,” she says, placing the Sprite back down. “How’s your first week at work been?”

I prop my elbow against the edge of the sofa, leaning my cheek into my hand, casually pivoting my body towards her. “It’s been good, really good. It’s amazing to be on the career ladder again, and it’s something I feel I could be really good at. Everybody is great, especially my boss, Jacob, even though he’s a total sleaze with girls.”

“A sleaze?” Addison asks with piped interest, a small smile lifting her pretty lips—lips I’m struggling to take my eyes off.

“He’s a serial flirt and a player. The guy’s basically a douche. I mean, the guy must sleep with a different girl daily. I’ve been there a total of three days, and I’ve already witnessed him sneaking into the back with a chick in tow.”

“Wow, in the middle of the work day?”

“Yes. The guy has no shame or restraint for that matter.” I chuckle. “He invited me out with him and a few guys from the gym tonight.”

“Really? That’s great,” she says with enthusiasm, incredibly happy for me.

“Yes, I was honored to be included as one of the guys because it’s been a long time since I felt a part of something. It was nice, you know?”

“And I assume you’re not going considering you’re sitting at home at ten o’clock on a Saturday night?”

Her question makes me chuckle slightly. When she says it like that, it makes me sound pathetic. But compared to being a fucked up junkie, the quiet life is a welcoming attribute.

“No, the thought of being in a club, being surrounded with temptations, doesn’t sound like fun to me. I’m feeling great at the moment and I don’t want to wreck that by rushing into life. I have too much to lose and I’m not willing to fuck it up. I can’t. I have a one-year-old who is waiting for me to prove that I can be the dad she deserves.”

Addison’s fingers affectionately reaches out to touch my arm. The simple contact feels like a high voltage shock to every living cell in my body, and I find myself drawn to her in a way that’s beyond a physical attraction. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.

“I’m really proud at how you handled that. You’re right to want to stay away from that lifestyle, at least while you’re still on the road to recovery. It’s important to steer clear of places that increase the temptation.”

Unable to handle her touch, I abruptly pull away. Her usually happy eyes suddenly frown at the harsh movement. Needing a moment to myself, I stand, avoiding eye contact with her.

“I’m just going to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back. Pick a movie for us to watch.”