Losing Control (35 page)

She didn’t turn around in his arms, but she relaxed, indicating that he should continue. Widening his stance so that he was closer to her level, he resumed running his lips along her neck and shoulder. Bianca shivered as he scraped his teeth along the indention where neck met shoulder and he growled. “Have you missed me?” he asked, not even able to recognize the sound of his own voice.

“I have,” she admitted, finally turning his arms so that they could face one another.

“I’ve missed you too.” He buried his hands in her hair and tipped her head back, exposing the smooth column of her neck. There, he could see the rapid beat of her pulse. “You sure you’re okay?”

Her head moved in an up and down motion. “I am. I’m just nervous, I promise.”

He hated that. There should be no reason she was nervous with him, they were a couple who loved each other. Nothing about this should have ever been made dirty. Not for the first time, he wished he had killed Raymond Tucker with his bare hands. It took everything in him, but he shoved all those feelings into a box and put a lock on them. Deliberately softening his voice, he moved his mouth to her ear. “No reason to be nervous. Just me and you here, B. We’ve done this before and we don’t have to do it again until you’re ready. It’s alright,” he assured her.

The soothing tone of his voice lulled her, reminded her who she really was with. Jagger would never demand something of her she didn’t want to give. Still, it was a mind game and she realized that. She had to push further than her mind wanted her to go. His mouth and tongue were at her neck kissing, licking softly, helping to lull her. With her hands at his waist, she made a conscious decision to unbutton the shirt he wore.

Yes Bianca, Jagger thought. Push past what that bastard made you think of yourself. “You feel so good,” he assured her as her shaking fingers went to the last button and then shoved the shirt off his body. Even feeling her touch through the thin material of another shirt caused him to shake himself.

She moved her head so that they could see each other’s eyes. He could see the tears there and it tore him apart. He wondered if this was really a good idea, and he opened his mouth to tell her that it was fine, he could just lie holding her all night and that would be enough for him right now. Those words died in his mouth as her finger shot out and covered his lips. She shook her head slightly and then removed her hands from his body.

“Don’t say anything,” she told him as she slipped her sandals off, then her skirt, then her shirt. “I want this, I want you. I’ve just gotta get passed this in my head.”

He soaked in the sight of her body like a dying man. He loved the soft curve of her waist. He circled his hands there and pulled her off the floor. Carrying her over to the bed, he gently set her down. “Will this be easier for you if I take my own clothes off?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid I’ll chicken out,” she admitted.

“If you do, it’s not going to make a difference.”

She watched, much the way he had, as he took his clothes off. He really was a beautiful man. The tattoos on his body stood out in dark contrast to the flushed tone of his skin and she had to remind herself that this man was hers. He would never do anything to hurt her, and she could do whatever she wanted to him within reason and he wouldn’t leave. As he turned around, she noticed a gold cross hanging from his neck.

“What’s this?” she asked, grasping her fingers around it. She knew how he felt about religion and this confused her.

“There’s only two reasons you came back to me,” he told her, his voice thin with emotion. “One, because you’re an amazing woman who thinks quickly in situations that require you to do so. You’re brave and you don’t cower in the face of things that would make others curl up in a ball and die. You fight for what you want and you refuse to take no for an answer. But the second reason is, God answered my prayers. For the first time in a long time, I had my faith back. I’m ready to accept it back in my life again and it’s because of you,” he whispered.

A small grin broke out on her face. “I’m so happy, because I know how much that means to you.”

“It doesn’t mean more to me than you. You mean everything to me,” he assured her. “But, this is something I needed too.”

Her heart warmed as he told her that she meant everything to him. “You mean everything to me too.” She ran her hands down his chest and to his hips. His eyes dropped as she dug her fingers into his hips and pulled him over her body. “And because you mean everything to me and I mean everything to you,” she grinned, “I think maybe we should stop talking and get to what you really brought me here for.”

He laughed, a deep, hearty laugh, the warm puffs of his breath tickling her as he buried his face in her neck.

Just like that, things were exactly the way they were supposed to be, and Bianca knew they would be just fine.

Epilogue

B
ianca held her degree in her hands, marveling at how it felt. She smoothed her hand over the case that covered the piece of paper she had worked so hard to earn. Tears burned the back of her eyes as her dream came to realization. It had been so long in coming that she at one time thought it would never ever get here. But it had. She hadn’t given up, and she had really and truly made a dream come true. She stood in the clubhouse, holding it, gazing at it, not fully believing that she actually had it.

“Whatcha got there?” Jagger asked, as he came up behind her.

“I finally got my degree,” she grinned up at him.

“Awesome, baby! ’Bout damn time too. That pissed me off so bad when I realized you didn’t get your actual one the day you graduated.”

Bianca laughed. “I know, I thought I was gonna have to keep you from going after the people in the front office.”

He blushed. “Well, you worked hard for it and you deserved it. Sorry, but it really did piss me off.”

“It’s fine, it was cute.” She continued gazing at it, running her hands over it.

“Should we go celebrate?” He wagged his eyebrows at her, a sexy smile tugging the corners of his lips.

“No.” She hit him in the stomach. “We don’t have to ‘celebrate’ everything Jagger.”

“Can’t blame a man for tryin’.”

She rolled her eyes, the smile still faintly on her face.

“What’s that?” Meredith asked as she walked into the main room where they stood, nodding towards what Bianca held in her hands.

“My degree,” she told her friend, not able to keep the excitement out of her voice.

“They finally sent it to you? That’s great!” Meredith came over and hugged her friend. “I’m really happy for you.”

Bianca noticed that the smile didn’t go all the way to Meredith’s eyes and she wanted to ask her about it, but there were so many people around and she wasn’t sure that Meredith would want to get into something if it was personal. Instead, she grinned back at her friend. “Thanks, I’m so excited.”

People kept pouring into the main room of the clubhouse. “What’s going on?” she asked Jagger as she saw Layne, Tyler, Sharon, Steele and Liam make their way in. Denise even waddled in with Drew and Mandy, her stomach huge. She was due in a few weeks and just looking at her made Bianca hurt.

“Not sure,” he told her, putting his arm around her shoulder. “Maybe Liam’s gonna announce something? I have no idea.”

She sank against his side, paying attention with the rest of them as Liam stood in front of the group.

“I have a really important announcement to make. Actually it’s a decision that we’ve all made.”

His voice was so serious that Bianca gripped her arm around Jagger’s waist. Was he stepping down? The look on his face made her nervous. She thought of these people as her family, and if something was happening, she was going to be upset.

“I think you should explain,” Tyler spoke up from where he stood beside his best friend.

Liam swallowed roughly and glanced at the group. “Something pretty serious has been brought to my attention, and I think we should go ahead and talk about it now. We should just go ahead and get this out in the open and work through it. I don’t want this to rip the group apart.”

“What the hell is going on?” Bianca whispered to Jagger. Her previous elation was quickly being replaced with dread.

“No idea, babe, let him finish.”

“Just tell us, man,” Layne called out from where he sat at the table where everyone usually ate.

“This is pretty hard for me to get out,” Liam took a deep breath. “But it’s come to my attention that our very own Bianca got her degree today, and I really think we should give her that graduation party that she didn’t let us give her before.”

All eyes turned to Bianca, who stood there confused. “What?”

“This is for you,” Jagger chuckled. “Congrats on getting your degree.”

Everyone whooped and hollered for her as they all congratulated her. From somewhere, a cake was brought out, along with drinks and punch. Presents even appeared on the table where Layne sat.

“You guys, I don’t know what to say.” She bit her lip and fought the emotion that was welling up in her throat.

“Just say ‘thank you’,” Liam told her as he put his arm around her shoulder. “You really are one of us now, you ain’t gettin’ rid of us now.”

“Thank you,” she told him, putting her arms around the president who ran this club with heart and as much integrity as they could have. He had turned this group of ragtag men into a family, and she was so proud to be a part of it.

“You’ve worked really hard,” he told her. “We’ve all seen it and you deserve this. Enjoy it.”

Jagger had left her to go get himself a piece of cake, and she glanced over to where he sat in between Drew and Layne. They were laughing about something and he looked up, catching her eye. She smirked as he winked at her. Bianca knew he had a large hand in this, and he was so getting laid later.

“Congratulations, Bianca,” she heard as she turned back around.

Denise stood facing her, one hand at her back, the other cupping the swell of her belly. “Thank you so much, Mama,” she giggled, using the nickname the group had adopted for her after the past few weeks.

“Don’t even,” she threatened. “I want this child out of me so badly. My back is killing me.”

“You wanna go walk?” Bianca offered, knowing that many women triggered labor by walking.

“Nah,” she grinned, a twinkle in her eye. “I made President Liam exert his executive authority earlier, and since then I’ve been feeling some contractions.”

“Denise, you need to go,” Bianca told her.

“They’re not close enough yet, but forgive me if we rush outta here.” She stretched her back out while they stood.

“Of course. It would be pretty sweet if you did have the baby today. It would help me remember how special this day is.”

Denise put her hand on Bianca’s arm. “I wanna tell you how proud I am of you for accomplishing your goal. Whether you know it or not, you’ve become a role model for my daughter, and I hope that she keeps her eye on the prize—just like you. I can’t tell you how amazed I am at what you’ve done, and I want you to enjoy this. This is from me and Liam. I wanted to give it to you personally, that way nobody else gets jealous.” She winked, handing an envelope to Bianca.

Bianca didn’t know what to say. She truly hadn’t expected this party, much less the gifts that sat on the table for her to open. Opening the envelope carefully, she pulled out a voucher. “What’s this?” she mumbled as she tilted the voucher so that she could read it. “Oh my gosh,” she giggled as she realized what it was for. A two-day, two-nights pass at an amusement park in Indiana. “I can’t believe you got this,” she laughed.

“You and Jagger are a very fun couple who like to have fun together. I know that neither of you had the best childhood. That seriously was the one thing my children loved when I was able to do it for them. They have a water park and everything. Liam okayed for whenever Jagger wants to take the time. Those are good until the end of August, but I suggest you go during the week in the next few weeks. I hope that the two of you have an amazing time together and enjoy a nice little get away.”

Overcome with emotion, Bianca reached forward and pulled Denise into her arms. “Thank you so much for this. You and Liam both.”