Losing Him (27 page)

I can’t. Look I don’t have time to explain. I need you to come here. Will, I need you to be me for a couple of days.

I sat up straight.
Are you crazy?
No. I’m desperate. Please, Will. Please help me
. She started to sob and I

immediately felt sorry for her.

I’m not doing anything until you tell me what’s wrong. Where’s Stosh? Why can’t he help you?

He can’t know! He can’t ever find out. That’s why I need you to be me.

You’re crazy. He’s your husband. He’s going to know I’m not you.

No, he really won’t. We barely see each other. He is obsessed with work and doesn’t pay attention to anything I do.

Ivy, this is insane. I have a life here. I can’t just get up and be you. It’s not feasible.

Will, I’m begging you. It’s life or death. What? What have you done, Ivy?
How fast can you get here?

She wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

I don’t know.

Will, please. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t so important. Please. I have to leave today. I don’t have a choice.

Her cryptic reasoning was making me worry. My sister was always an open book.

Ivy, if I drive four hours and this is over a past due electric bill, I am going to kill you.

Meet me at the airport at noon. I will explain everything.

You better!

She was still crying when we hung up. Something was wrong and I hated that I didn’t know what it was. I felt like I wanted to call Stosh and ask him what was going on, but Ivy insisted that he couldn’t know. I knew it wasn’t my parents. She would have told me something like that.

Without knowing what could have been going on, I got out of bed and packed a bag. There was a chance that I’d be heading home once I heard her out.

I sucked down my latte as I headed toward the interstate. It was going to be a long lonely drive. Luckily, my vehicle had satellite radio. I hated commercials and needed my fix of nineties music.

I arrived into town a little before ten. There had been two accidents that caused major delays. Since it had been so long that I’d been home, I was surprised to see that the small town had built up. Convenience stores and fast food restaurants had been added, as well as a Super Walmart.

Since I was so early, I decided to get out at a local park and do my morning run. It usually took about an hour and it was a perfect day. Changing in my car wasn’t so hard considering that I was already wearing a pair of yoga pants. I took off my flip-flops and put on my tennis shoes. After pulling up my long hair, I headed out to take in the fresh air.

This particular route of my run was a little scenic trail on the one side of our town. I ran past the high school and thought about all of the eventful moments that I’d spent there. It made me run faster, causing me to get out of breath much sooner than I was used to.

After getting myself so upset, I rethought my decision and considered turning around and heading back home. There was nothing left here for me.

Sure, I could move on easily. I’d dated in college and even had one serious relationship. Unfortunately, none of them gave me the same feelings that Stosh had given me when he kissed me. I know it was hard to believe, but I knew I’d been in love with him. My feelings were true and I wasn’t sure if they’d ever be able to completely go away.

Now that he’d been married to my sister for four years, I’d spent that time being cordial with him on the phone. He would say hi, but our friendship didn’t survive their relationship. I kept our conversations to a minimum and couldn’t deal with hearing my sister go on and on about the little things he did that annoyed her.

I hate to say this, but I almost hoped that they would get an annulment just to calm the stake that was permanently being stabbed into my heart. I’d deleted my Facebook page, because I got tired of my sister posting statuses involving places that his parents and my parents were taking them.

Jealousy had gotten the best of me, that’s for sure.

By twelve, I’d been sitting in my car, in the airport parking lot, for more than an hour. When I saw my sister pulling up, I knew that I couldn’t turn my back on her, even if it was what I should have done.

It was just a couple of days. What could go wrong?

When I first saw her sitting down, I could tell that she’d been through something. She appeared to have been crying for days. “Spill it, Ivy. I just drove all this way and deserve to hear what the hell is going on.”

She covered her face into her hands. “You wouldn’t understand. Can’t you just take my word for it?”

“You’re asking me to be you. Not only is it against the law, but I can’t be someone that I haven’t been around in years.”

She ignored my comment and ran her fingers through my hair. “Our lengths are almost identical.”

I pulled away from her. “Ivy, are you freaking serious? I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Will, please. I’m begging you.”

“Do you even understand what you’re asking me to do? I can’t be you, Ivy. I can’t go and pretend to be married to your husband. I don’t know where anything in your house is and I sure don’t know how to act around him. He will know.”

She smiled, but somehow looked annoyed. “You don’t know anything about marriage. Not only will Stosh not notice, but you may not even have to see him. He’s playing cards with his friends like he does this same time every week. When he comes home he’ll be so drunk he’ll pass out on the couch. Tomorrow he has an appointment with a buyer out of town. He usually stays the whole night there and doesn’t come home until lunch time the next day. He’s got bowling the following night after work, so you’ll be fine until I get back.”

I hated that she’d planned this all out in her head, knowing I would come running to her rescue. I may not have been with her much in the past four years, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t bailing her out all of the time. It never failed. My sister was terrible with money. I was forever sending it to her. In fact, I think I’d paid her phone bill three times in the past year. She was so irresponsible. “I don’t know...”

“Look, I don’t have time to beg, Will. I need you, more than ever before. Just do this for me. I won’t ask for anything else.”

She sounded like a kid instead of someone who was twenty two. “Fine. I’ll do it, but as soon as someone realizes that I’m not you. I’m out of this convoluted plan of yours, got it?”

She hugged me. “Thank you, Will. I knew I could count on you.”

A short while later, I watched my sister wave good bye to me. She left me with her keys, her car, her purse, her cell phone and her wedding ring. She’d also called a local salon for me to have my hair cut and colored to match hers.

I should have known that she was going to extreme measures to make me look like her for a reason that wasn’t good. She refused to tell me what she was involved in and I figured that the less I knew the better off I would be. As long as I didn’t have to be around Stoshua, I knew I could get through the next couple of days and go back to my normal life.

Since I hadn’t been in town in so long, it took me a while to find the house. They’d moved three times and were renting the pool house of someone my father worked with. It had a separate entrance and there wasn’t anyone at the main house when I pulled in.

Their place was cute for the two of them. When I unlocked the door, the first thing I noticed was that the place was even cuter on the inside. Then I noticed how messy it was.

Ivy wasn’t ever the kind of girl to keep her room neat and tidy. Her clothes were always thrown all over the floor and the bathroom that we shared was always a mess. As I walked around the house exploring, I felt like we were back at home. Dishes were in the sink, even though they had a dishwasher. Magazines were all over the living room floor and the couch looked like it was used for a bed instead of a place to sit down and relax. In the bathroom, there were more products than one could possibly use in one day.

There was no way I was going to be able to stay in this house without straightening it up. I started in the bathroom and then worked my way through, until the house was spotless. It also helped me manage some of my frustration for signing onto something so stupid. My sister was a grown woman. I never should have helped her with anything. It wasn’t like I owed her. She owed me more than she’d ever be able to pay back.

After I had explored the house, including every closet and drawer, I sat down on the couch and watched television. My sister had assured me that I wouldn’t see Stosh, so when I heard keys dropping on the table, I started to panic.

I heard him walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator. “What the hell happened in here? I know you didn’t do all this.”

It wasn’t how I imagined a husband greeting his wife. I watched him take a swig of beer, before emptying his pockets and walking into the bedroom.

He must have been shocked that I’d put all of his clothes away, because he peeked his head out the door and started to say something. I thought he’d figured it out without me even talking to him. After he gave me a questionable look, he smiled and walked back into the bedroom. I didn’t know what to do, so I got up and looked for something to cook. My sister didn’t have much. She never could cook anything.

I found a couple steaks, an opened package of bacon, half an onion and a can of beans. In the freezer was a pack of sausage and some frozen green beans. It was enough to work with.

While getting the steaks marinated in some red wine vinegar and Worchester sauce, I cooked the bacon up. After separating some for the beans and some for the green beans, I mixed in onions and sausage to half of it. When the meat was fully cooked and the onions browned, I poured in the can of beans. I fried the green beans in bacon and a few diced pieces of onion, while broiling the steaks.

It took me fifteen minutes to create a nice meal. Stosh came walking out with an empty beer bottle. He had a smile on his face, but still said nothing.

I didn’t know what to do when he walked up and put his arms around my waist. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as he kissed me there. “What’s all this for?”

“I figured you’d be hungry. I know I’m starving.” I was trying so hard to not look at him, but the more he touched me, the harder it was to attempt to ignore what was happening.

“I missed you.” He kissed the side of my head before turning me around and pulling me into his arms.

“I missed you too.” It was the truth. I’d missed him every day for four years. I could deny it to myself, but it would have been a lie. In a matter of a half hour, I was right back to being infatuated with him. The problem was that he was my sister’s husband. He could never know how I felt or that I wasn’t her. This was all pretend. He wasn’t telling me that he missed me, he was telling her that.

He pulled away and looked me right in the eye. I tried to think of what my sister would say, except I was speechless.

“What do you want to do tonight?”
I shrugged. “Don’t you have cards?”
Stosh ran one of his hands up my back over my shirt. “I could stay home. We

could hang out. It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”
What was I supposed to say? How could I stand there and tell someone that I

wanted to spend every second with, that he should get as far away from me as he could? I swallowed my pride. How bad could it be? It wasn’t like I was climbing into bed with him. I didn’t want to be second to my sister, but since he thought I was her, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. “Okay.”

He seemed shocked that I agreed. After taking a green bean out of the pan and popping it into his mouth, he kissed me on the nose. “Go sit down. I’ll make our plates and meet you in the living room.”

I smiled and made my way over there. A few times, I caught myself looking over at him, admiring how much he’d changed since high school. He was even more handsome as an adult. Stosh’s hair had gotten darker and his face had more hair on it. He was still built well, just bigger. When he caught me looking, he winked at me. I turned my head and blushed like I was fourteen again. This wasn’t like me to act that way. I was mature and handled my relationships with a keen sense of responsibility. Whatever was happening, I had no control over myself.

When Stosh came over with two plates and the bottle of ranch, I had to laugh. I’d put ranch on everything when I was a kid and so did my sister. My father would always tell me that I was ruining the taste of my meat. He didn’t get it.

It was weird how Stosh watched me eat. Who was I kidding, everything was weird. This wasn’t my life. Pretending to be my sister was only going to break my heart all over again. He was clearly in love with her. I just wanted to know what that felt like.

I should have got up and walked out of the house. Whatever my sister was involved in, it was her problem, not mine.

Still, after all this time, I couldn’t tear myself away from this man. Even if it were only for a couple days, or one night, this was exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to have my best friend back. I wanted to pretend that he’d never fallen in love with my sister.

I wanted to pretend that he was in love with me instead.