Losing You: a prequel to It's Not Over (8 page)

Choking out a laugh, because I did all the cleaning anyway, I rolled my eyes.  Not giving us any more thought he went to his room mumbling.

Jess asked, “Do you think he is irritated?”

“Yeah, probably.”

Leaning over the back of the couch to see that sexy little body make its way to Matt’s room, I ached with need.  After she knocked and he opened the door she dragged him back to the living room, “You my friend, need relax time.”

Enjoying the view of her I waited to experience her next move.  Pushing him to sit on the couch she held up an M&M

Matt quickly turned to me with a questioning stare.  I shrugged as one came at his face ricocheting off his face.  In her scolding voice to demanded, “Matt, you’re supposed to catch it in your mouth.”

He was shaking his head as she threw another one at him.  I stood up and grabbed a handful.  Tossing one at him made him yelled at us to stop. 

“Jess, show him how to do it.”  When I tossed one up she caught it in her mouth with ease.  His eagerness to be part of our little playtime he caught one in his mouth.  We ended up feeding him everything trying to get him to catch it with his mouth.  After pelting Matt over and over with M&M’s we settled down for a few games of Rummy.  As the night crept upon us Matt migrated back to his room leaving us alone again.

Being alone with Jess happened to be my treat for putting her first on my list.  We sat down to enjoy another movie as I put my head in her lap to be as close to her as possible.  Not that the movie’s bad, but I am with Jess and all I wanted to do is take in every second I can.  Delicate fingers ran through my hair relaxing me to light nap.  When the touch didn’t fill my needs any longer I curled into her more to take in her scent of sweet vanilla, with a touch of spice.  The sensation didn’t resemble anything that I could remember, but my mouth watered anyway.  Tugging her tank top up just a tad so that when my mouth made contact with her skin I could savor what lingered for hours.  Her fingers tightening in my hair made me aware of her tense body.  Nuzzling to her core I traced her stomach with my face making her body ridged.  Could she be nervous to let me touch her this way?  She pushed me trying to get out from under me.  Pressing her back down I crawled over her pinning her to the couch.  Seducing her into telling me what she had to do might just work.  She wanted me now, and wanted me badly, I could sense the need in her body.

Staring into those beautiful green eyes I traced my fingers along her cheek, “Are you going to tell me what you have to do?”

While pushing to get away from me she scolded, “Do you want to make me sad?”

Not wanting this to end I held her tighter preventing her from moving, “I just want to experience everything about you, baby.”

“Yeah, and baby?”  Her eyes pierced into mine with anger, but had stopped pushing away from me.  Moving to my side letting her keep her secret I took what she would give me.  I kissed her cheek, pulled her hand to my mouth to kiss that too.  We spent the rest of the night, and most of the next day on the couch touching each other tenderly.

Friday I wanted to take her out, but she wanted to stay at the apartment.  Matt was going on a date so we stayed home.  She explained that she wanted to spend quality time with me and nothing else matter but the time we were getting together.  Sunday night my body hurt with need, and from lying around doing hardly anything.  A long shower to wash away my need is what I needed the most, but caved to her going first.

Like we had been doing this all our lives we seemed to move in unison.  She went to the shower first while I picked up the living room, which took her forever.  After my shower I noticed things were put away, but the best part of all Jess laid in my bed waiting for me.  If that didn’t make a man’s dick hard I don’t know what would.  Avoiding giving her a full view of my needs I turned away from her to get dressed in boxers.

Crawling into bed next to her, “Jess, are you sleeping.”

She turned and cuddled into me, “What do you think?” 

Her leg slid between mine and traced upward.  I gripped her thigh holding her from the surprise that waited if she went any further up, “No, you’re not sleeping.”

She rolled her eyes, “No!  My legs are smooth, and silky.”

This woman had no idea what she did to me all the time.  I reached down pulling her leg to avoid my growing hard-on.  My hand trailed along the softness of the now shaved legs, which caused a twitch in my groin.  This put a smile on my face, “Very nice.”

She took my hand and pulled it further up her leg.

This is her way of begging for it, “Jess?”

She grinned and nodded.

I glided my hand further to her as she moved closer to me.  My heart was racing.  How could I do this when it meant so much more to me than what it would be if we did it now?  I love her too much.

Restraining her, hovering over her, and holding her down.  My erection zeroing in on the warmth of her sweet spot I pleaded, “Jess, if we are going to do this I have conditions.”

With a grin she replied, “I knew that was coming.”  She nibbled on my lip, “Please don’t ask me what I have to do.  It will ruin my mood.”

Now throbbing with need I shook my head.

Untrusting she urged, “What do you want, then?”

“You.”

Not getting it at all she questioned, “You said conditions?”

“Yes.  Not tonight.  Not for our first time together.”

She was skeptical, “What are you thinking?”

I rolled to my back pulling her along with me.  Raising both my hands to cup her face and stare into those eyes.  She needed to understand what I wanted, “You are special, Jess.”

Searching my face for understanding she waited for me to explain.

“I want our night to be as special as you are to me.  Remember the night we planned to meet at the cabin?”

I could see the sadness coming to her face.

“You were planning on making love to me.  I promised your dad that you would have to say you’d marry me.  All those times when I stayed away when I should have given into your needs… I wanted to keep my word, but I also wanted to keep you.  I want to make it up to you.  I want to make it special, a night to remember for the rest of our lives.”

Tears had welled up so much that one dropped out landing on my nose.  So far so good now the next part, “After school is done I will get the cabin ready and we’ll continue that night.”

She shook her head and traced her mouth along my chin, “Sooner.”

Not the reply I expected, “How soon?”

The grin on her lips pressed against mine as her teeth nibbled, “Now would work.”

I shook my head and held her face to mine looking deep in her eyes, “Your two week vacation this summer.”

Eyes glaring, another response I didn’t expect, “Okay, fine.”  She kissed my lips quickly and rolled away from me.

Shit, it didn’t work.  She’s supposed to tell me what she was up to, because this would interfere with what she had to do.  She’s not supposed to be okay with it.  I traced my hand down her arm, “Jess?”

“No, you have your stipulations.”

I traced my mouth along her shoulder, “Jess, be realistic… when?”

She turned to me and nuzzled in, “Can it be soon, please.”

“Friday?”

She moved up to kiss me, “Make sure there’s food and water.”

Not understanding her logic, “What do we need that for?”

That sexy, seductive grin grew on her face, “I don’t plan on letting you leave this room till Sunday morning.”

If anything from tonight made me hard as rock it’s a tossup if it’s the look in her eye, or the suggestion of lasting three days.  Trying to disperse the thought, “It doesn’t last that long.”

She bit her lip, her eyes lit up, and that smirk told me she would make it last that long.  Having a hard on, thinking about having sex with Jess, and having her curled up to me with her lips pressing against my shoulder this would be a sleepless night.  Her sleepless night would come Friday, because it would be a night to remember.

It’s hard to believe this week went by so smooth.  We went to classes, did homework, and cuddled at night.  We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together.  I loved every minute with her and things changed for the better.  She’s going to agree to marry me when I ask her, but it had to be on or before Friday night.

I had gotten almost everything except for the flowers, so after class on Friday I stopped at her dorm.  She didn’t let me in and I found that odd, “Jess, what are you doing?”

“Surprise, why what are you doing?”

“Well, there are a few more things I have to get on my way home and I hoped you’d meet me there about 8 pm.”

Her eagerness to go along with this set off alarms in my head, but it had to be my nerves.  She pushed out of her room to walk with me to my truck.  All touchy feely she wrapped herself to my side, running her hand against my abs, her lips pressing under my chin.  So turned on I worried about lasting even 3 minutes alone with her, but I’d try my hardest to make this special.

I left her looking out my rear view mirror.  Standing there watching me leave, her eyes so content on me.  She’d say yes tonight for sure.

Rushing home I put candles everywhere.  The rose petals sprinkled all over the bedroom.  As special occasion required a special dress for Jess, so I laid out the one I bought for this night.  With her eyes as green as they were I went for the black evening gown.  Wondering how she would look in it would be answered tonight.  Not wanting to waste time cooking I had picked up our dinner.  Trying to keep Matt away from the apartment didn’t work out.  He agreed to stay in his room.  Tonight it’s Jess and me with no interruptions, no distractions, and nothing to stop us from taking that next step.  I set the table and put on music.  After a shower I put on dress slacks and a dress shirt.  I walked through the apartment nervous as all hell and looked out the window to see if she’s here yet.  Pleased to see her pull in and park.  My instincts told me to rush out and meet her, but going for the seductive controlled personality I waited patiently.  Uneasy and nervous I opened the door for her.  She is too because she wouldn’t even meet my gaze.  I stopped her, “At any time, Jess, if you change your mind just talk to me.”

Her eyes rose to meet mine full of tears.  Assuming they were happy tears it filled my heart.  It’s finally going to happen, Jess would be all mine after tonight.  I directed her to the bathroom, “Your dress is on the bed; meet me at the table.”

She walked away glancing back to me as she entered the bathroom.

Jessica

My hands griped sink steading myself as my stomach rolled.  I had just said good byes to my roommates and packed my car.  I would be on a plain in 36 hours and it kill me, and what it would do to him I had a good idea.  Confused about what I wanted more, to give him a night to remember, or just run leaving him without heartache.  The mirror showed a pathetic needy girl who didn’t understand how that beautiful pure hearted man could love her.  Would he love me through this?  That’s when I decided I would tell him tonight.  If he still wanted to be with me than it would be, if not then I had to let him go.  Only doing what he wanted I did my hair, make up, and then snuck to the bedroom.  He already set it up for our encounter tonight.  Rose petals everywhere, candles arranged around the room perfectly, the sheets and bed spread clean and folded back ready to consume us.  At the end of the bed a beautiful black dress laid waiting. 

I put fancy underwear I picked up for this night but the dress required no bra.  I shook my head with disbelief he got me one without a bra.

When I walked out he turned to me with his hand on his chest as he gasped.  Not waiting at all I walked over to him and into his open arms he whispered into my ear, “You take my breath away.”

Guilt washed over me, “Paul, I have to tell you something.”

Not wanting to hear me out, he redirected my attention, “Let’s have dinner first.”

I swallowed and nodded following his lead to the table.  He pulled out the chair for me as I looked back at him.  I choked up already, how am I going to tell him the emptiness he had nightmares about is going to come back.  In less than 36 hours the sadness is going to engulf us.  Tears welled in my eyes so I turned to the table.  Tonight is going to be the hardest night in my life.  He served me food and sat down to eat with me. 

There’s hardly anything on his plate so I asked, “You’re not hungry?”

A lopsided grin grew on his face showcasing that dimple as he replied, “I’m somewhat nervous.”

I reached for his hand, “At any time, Paul, if you change your mind just tell me.”

He laughed and scooted closer, “I will never change my mind about you.”

I sighed and swallowed to keep the lump coming to my throat.

Silence fell over our dinner as we slowly ate.  Scenarios ran through my mind of how I’d tell him.  So wrapped in my head I didn’t notice how quiet he is.  Glancing over to see him dazed and off in his own world.  I guess we both were.

He took my hand leading me to the living room where we danced slowly body to body.  Reaching my arms around his neck I pulled him closer to stare into his eyes.  He took me away from the sadness so easily.  I forgot what I wanted to tell him because he helped me to believe that we’d stay this way forever.  I didn’t have a choice about going, but this was unbelievable and perfect.  My fingers slid down his shirt to the first button.  Searching his eyes for disapproval I undid the first one, then the second continuing until his shirt opened freely.  After letting me trail my hands around him and place that kiss to his chest he made his move slowly walking backwards toward the bedroom.  We closed the door when we were in his room.  He searched my face wondering if I would change my mind.  When you enjoy the tender touch of someone you love the only thing you want to do is take things further.  He had been good for long enough and I loved him with my whole heart.  We made our way to the bed but stopped at the side.  His hands moved to unzip me bit by bit with an antagonizing leisureliness.  I sighed with a laugh that’s when he stopped to gaze into my eyes.  Without the smile his dimples gouged his cheeks.  After pulling the strap from my shoulder he kissed there with delicacy that sent shivers down my back.  Wanting more of this tingling sensation I held his face to me turning my head to give him room on my neck.  His hesitation seemed to stop him from continuing.  It’s the expression that played on his face left me wondering if he’s changing his mind.  Watching his eyes search the room my stomach did a flip.  Tonight, our last chance to be together and he’s changing his mind now?  As his eyes came back to meet mine they sparkled bright from the light through the window.  Or it could be the thought of consummating our love that made them shine like that.  With raised eyebrows he confessed, “Candles.”

Relief washed over me as my knees went week.  Wanting to fall to the bed I refused to let my body cave so easily.  When he let go of me I laughed and observed him lighting each candle as he made his way around the room.  Taking each other’s hands when we met at the side of his bed he confessed, “I really don’t know how to make this perfect.”

“You just did, Paul.”  I put my arms around his neck and kissed him in a way that should have curled his toes.  His arms wrapped around my waist and held me tight while returning my kisses.  When we both stopped kissing we held tight to each other not knowing how to take the next step.  Planning it out like this made it uncomfortable and nervous for both of us. 

If we’re going to get through this tonight something had to change, “Paul, turn around first.”

Brown Puppy dog eyes popped out of his head when he pulled away to see my face.  That questioning, doubtful face stared at me as his body went rigid.

My voice a little shaky I pleaded, “I am so nervous.  Can we crawl in the bed and explore first?”

Though his lips curved into a smile he only kissed my nose before turning around as I asked.  I slid the dress off and crawled into the bed covering myself.

“I’m ready, Paul.”

Laughing with anticipation he turned but motioned for me to turn away, “Your turn.”

The bed caved under his weight, and the heat of his body warmed me as he crawled in next to me. Not wanting to wait a minute longer to be next to him I curled my body to his.  Entwining my legs in his, I ran my hand along his chest, and kissed him over and over along his neck.

He kissed me carefully, but his hand trace up my leg.  When his hand reached my core he stopped kissing me, “Did you change your mind?”

I shook my head grinning from ear to ear, “I have never gone to bed completely naked.  It’s weird.”

Again he kissed my nose, but disappeared beneath the covers.  Just to witness him in play I lifted the covers.  Those eyes came back to meet mine filled with delight.  The flick of his tongue against his lips caused a heat reaction between my legs.  We would have no problem if he slid into me right now the moisture between my legs told me this.  With the sexiest smile on his lips he made contact with my stomach.  Instinctively my hand moved to his head running my fingers through his messy hair.  A whimper came from deep within me; the sensation too good to refuse.  Abruptly it came to an end when he slid my underpants from my body moving away from me further into the depths of the covers.  It wasn’t in me to complain, but I groaned with disappointment.  Crawling back up the bed to me he hovered gazing into my eyes.  His stare as innocent as a new born, guilt washed over me for what I have planned.

Voice gruff with restraint he demanded, “Jess, touch me.”

Letting my fingers trail up his arms and biceps my attention on how dark his eyes seemed to be getting.  Shaking his head he growled out, “Not there Jess.”

This is my play time too.  Stubborn to give into him I ran my hands up over his shoulders down to his chest only to brush his nipples with the palm of my hands.

Strain filled Paul’s face when he closed his eyes and groaned, “Are you teasing me?”

Reaching up I nipped one of his nipples with my teeth.

The warmth of him as he ground his hips against mine sent a thrilling shiver up my spine.  Gasping at the sensation only to have it end when he moved to lie down next to me.  He propped his head on his hand so that he can look down at me.   Hoping it’s not over, my eyes wide with wonder why he stopped.

Paul

To keep her legs parted I laid mine between hers.  The last thing I wanted her to do is change her mind, but I almost blew when she tried to take a bite out of me.  If she wanted to play I would give her what she wanted.  After tonight she won’t want anyone else for the rest of her life, she’s going to mine alone.

The wide stare made me smile, her innocence written on every inch of her face.  How she didn’t see it on mine I have no idea, but we’re going to experience this together

Trailing my fingers against her waist I asked, “Are you afraid to touch me?”

Shock is the only word to explain the expression on her face.

“NO!”

Not the response I expected her to give me.

“Then touch me.” 

Really trying hard to hold back the grin spreading across my face it’s impossible she lit my whole world.  When she finally reached to touch me she placed her hand on my face.  Her finger traced my dimple as always.

Shaking my head, even chuckling a little I took her hand and brought it to my mouth, kissing her open palm.  Taking each finger in my mouth one by one, sucking, licking, and kissing each of them.  Coming up with a way to experience this together she had to get over her fear of touching me right now.  That is something I would want her to do on a regular basis.  Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and all I wanted to do is dive deep into her, but I also wanted her to be completely comfortable with our sexuality together.  Leaning away from her, taking her hand down to me, I wrapped her fingers around me.  Her lip twitched nervously as I stroked myself with her hand.  Releasing her hand from my grip I hoped she would take over handling me.

Her whisper came, “It’s hard and soft at the same time.”

Moving as close as possible to let her explore my penis, I decided to explore her.  She has never been heavily endowed in the breast area, but seeing them now.  How perfectly round they are, how fare the skin on her breast is, and the way her nipple puckered there right in front of me.  Perfection is what I saw in her.  As I ran my finger against the areola she stroked her hand against me. Gently squeezing her nipple between my fingers and then rolling it, she squeezed and stroked harder.   The more pleasure she experienced the more she gave me the pleasure of her hand.  When her finger rubbed against the tip to find moisture she gasped.  Consuming her gasp I took advantage of her mouth.  If kissing her wasn’t heavenly enough her hand continued to touch, stroke, and message my membrane.  If I didn’t stop her soon it would be over before it begins.  I pulled gently away from her grasp moving down to take each breast in my mouth.  I wanted to touch and taste every inch of her.  Her protest will come eventually, but for now she let me do what I wanted.  Taking her breast in my mouth licking, sucking and nibbling, my reward her hand cupped my head against her.  After moving to the other her lips pressed to my forehead with a moan, “Oh Paul!”