Lost and Found (45 page)

When we make it around to the elevator, the doors are closing and Cash looks devastated and is staring holes
through me. He doesn't even try to hold the doors open for us, so we go to the elevator next to his.

As the three of us walk into the elevator, I lose it. Claudia
rushes over to me and pulls me into her arms and even
Caleb joins in on the hug.

"Olivia? Is that true what that woman said? What Claudia said? About you being pregnant?" I just nod at him.  
"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? Why is Cash so
mad?"

"Why do you think he's mad, Caleb? Don't you remember
how Vanessa died? In childbirth?"

"But that could have happened to anyone..." He notices the
look on my face. "Oh. He's afraid it could happen to you. Claudia
and I are here. He's not going to do anything stupid."

"I don't think you know your brother as well as you think
you do, Caleb. He never wants anymore kids and that was
one of the conditions before we continued our relationship."

The elevator doors open and I can't move. They had to pull
me out of it and pretty much drag me into his office. When
I walk in and see him standing in the corner with a glass of
scotch, I can tell that he hasn't calmed down any and he looks absolutely crushed.

"Caleb, you can leave, this is between Olivia, me, and
Claudia. You had the same shocked look on your face, so I
know you weren't in on this big secret!" He slams his glass
down on the counter and it shatters, which makes me jump.
Claudia immediately comes closer to me, but Caleb walks
towards Cash.

"I'm not going anywhere, big brother. You're right. I didn't
know, but I'm not going to leave two defenseless women
alone in here with you as angry as you are." He sneers at Caleb and walks towards me.

"So be it. You better stay out of my way then little
brother." He's standing in front of me trying to come up
with what to say to me. "Who all knows, Liv? How long
have you known?"

"Uh. Claudia and um, your mom. That's it! I swear!
And I've known for about three weeks. I hated lying to you
and I wanted to tell you, Cash, but I was afraid of how you
would react."

"So, you're what? 6 or 7 weeks pregnant then? I'll set you
up an appointment for Monday morning."
Please don't let it be for what I think he means. Please
God! No! Please let him realize that he's wrong about
this."

"For what? An ultrasound?" Please let it be for an
ultrasound.

"No, Liv! To get rid of it! Didn't you agree with me that
Gideon and Eden were enough for us and that if you got pregnant you'd get rid of it?" Caleb didn't give me a chance
to respond.

"Wait! What? You want her to have an abortion? Kill your own unborn child? Cash! What the hell is wrong
with you?"

"This is none of your business, Caleb! I told you to stay out
of this! It's just an egg right? So nothing is getting killed!
I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER WOMAN I LOVE TO A
FETUS!" I immediately put both hands over my stomach,
because I'm now in full protection mode for my babies.

"I'm not doing it! I also told you that if it happened, it
happened and I would not get rid of a baby! I've already
killed THREE CHILDREN, CASH! Do you honestly
think I'm going to KILL TWO MORE?" All of a sudden
the room is moving and I feel dizzy and Claudia is beside
me in no time, helping me stay on my two feet.

"Olivia. Honey, you didn't kill them. They died in an
accident. Please don't say that again, it breaks my heart
every time you talk like that." She has tears running down
her cheeks and I try to respond, but Cash is infuriated.

"What do you mean TWO MORE? You mean
Twins? Oh my God! You can't do this to us, Olivia! I
thought you were happy! I thought what we had with Gideon and Eden was all you needed."

"I didn't mean to do this and evidently this happened that
first weekend we made love! I'm 13 weeks pregnant and
yes, they’re twins! Evidently they run in YOUR
FAMILY, because they damn sure don't run in mine!"

I'm having another dizzy spell and my stomach is churning,
so I run to his bathroom to throw up. I hear screaming and
yelling from the other room and I know that it's Claudia
and Cash arguing, because I hear Caleb trying to get them both to calm down. I rinse my mouth out and go back into
the room and I see the two of them nose to nose, and neither
of them is backing down from one another. Cash looks over
at me.

"Olivia, you have to make a choice right now. It's them or
me." Is he serious? My heart is slowly breaking a little
piece at a time. How much more heartbreak can I take?

"Are you serious? I didn't make them all by myself. You
had a hand in it too I do believe! They're half yours! How
can you look into Gideon and Eden's eyes that are so
vibrant and full of life and ask me to get rid of them? How
can you ask me to choose you over their lives? I will be
fine, Cash. They will be
healthy babies! Please do the right thing here. Please just
accept this and look forward to holding our precious babies,
who were made out of our love for each other. Please,
Cash!"

I'm begging him to let this go and as I'm bawling my eyes,
I look at him and I can tell that he's about to cry
himself, but he's holding the tears back. He looks so scared, I
walk towards him, but he waves me back.

"NO! I can't do it, Liv. I cannot look at you every day and
count the days down until they kill you. I can't do it. One
baby, I might have been able to handle, but a high risk
pregnancy? I can't do it. I'm sorry. I love you too much. You
have no idea how much I love you, but the lies... and this?
I just can't do it! I think you need to move out and move
back in with Claudia."

I can't speak! Move back in with Claudia? What about
the kids? Where is he going to tell them I went? I can't just
leave them! I'm their mother! I can't abandon the
children like he so obviously can!

"You selfish bastard! I told you that if you ever hurt her I
would KILL YOU! Why don't you quit hiding behind
what happened to Vanessa and start acting like a MAN for
once! You need therapy, Cash! You abandoned your children for five fucking years and now you're going to abandon their mother and two more of your children?"
Caleb has to hold her back and I am having problems
catching my breath, because I feel like the room is spinning.

"Cash, I'm sorry, but she's right. You can't do this to her. She doesn't deserve it. I know you're in love with her and
she loves you too. What about the kids? How are you
going to explain to them why she left? They're calling her
Mommy, because to them she is their mother. Cash, brother,
come on, think about what you're doing here. This is
not all about you and your insecurities. There are other
people you're going to hurt, if you don't do the right thing
here."

"Then I'll leave. I've got business that needs taken care of in
China that could take a few months and I've been putting it
off because, well, I didn't want to leave everyone, but
this looks like a perfect time for me to go. Liv, you can stay
at the house and take care of the kids, so that they won't
know that anything has changed between us."

"Cash? Please? I love you. I can't bear for you to leave.
Please don't leave us. I'm sorry I can't do what you want
me to do. I can't do what you're asking! Please, Cash!
Please! I... I... Don't want to..."

Everything starts going black and I feel myself falling
slowly to the ground and then I hear Claudia and Cash screaming my name. All I can think of before I lose
consciousness is God please let my babies be okay, because
I'm all they've got.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

I wake up and I feel as if I'm in a fog, because I can't see anything. It's not that I can't see anything; I just can't open
my eyes. I'm not sure where I am, but I hear beeping next to
me, which lets me know that I'm in a hospital. I hear loud
whispers in the room, which lets me know that Cash and Claudia are still arguing.

"Cash? Didn't you hear what the Dr. said? She's already
past her first trimester and she said everything was going
great in the pregnancy."

"Then why are we at the hospital, if everything is so great, Claud? Caleb! Get your girlfriend out of here. It's time for her to go!"

"I'm not going anywhere! Do you think I'm leaving her
alone with you after you broke her heart tonight? She's in
here because she's dehydrated and exhausted! If you didn't
look at pregnancy as if it were a death sentence, you two
could be snuggling in front of a fire right now picking out baby names, with her all rested up and you treating her the
way she deserves to be treated! My brother bullied her and
treated her like a door mat and I really thought you were different, Cash!"

"I'm not a bully! I love her more than anything! This is
just the one thing I told her I didn't want to happen and she
knew that!"

"Please. You're not a bully? Telling her she has to "get
rid of it" if she wound up pregnant? She was already pregnant when you guys had that conversation, you
dumbass! Do you know what's really sad about this? I
feel like I'm to blame, because I'm the one that pushed her
to work for you, because I thought you were a good guy!
Wow! Was I wrong! Vanessa would be so ashamed of
you right now."

"Don't you dare bring Vanessa into this! She has nothing
to do with this."

"She has EVERYTHING to do with this, Cash! She's the
reason you're so messed up in the head about this! I knew
Vanessa very well and if I would have asked her before she
had Eden if she knew that she was going to die giving birth
to her would she let her baby die so that she could live, she
would tell me to let her die so that Eden could live! I know
that and you know that!"

"You two need to calm down. You don't need Olivia
waking up to this shit! I think the stress that she's been under is why she's here in the first place and I'm
embarrassed at what all she had to hear in your office, Cash.
Please brother, think about this. Do you want to lose all
three of them? We should be passing out cigars and
celebrating, not be at each other’s throats! Cash, you're
going to be a father again. To twins!"

"Yeah... Great... Twins... They're going to suck the life
right out of her, literally."

"Well, if it’s any consolation Cash, you and your brother
sucked the life out of me when I was pregnant with you
both, but as soon as I looked into your beautiful eyes, I forgot all about it."

"Mother, what are you doing here?"

"I left the kids with your father and I came to check on
Olivia and my grandbabies. How is she doing?” I can f
inally open my eyes and I see Amelia staring back at me.
"Oh. You're awake. How are you feeling, honey?"

"I'm okay I guess. I've had quite an eventful evening, I
guess you could say."

"So, I've heard. I also heard you've got a mean right hook."
She gives me a wink and I remember punching Maggie in
the nose. That seemed like so long ago after what happened
afterwards.