Lost for You (25 page)

I wondered what it would be like, the moment I came face to face with my scum bag sperm donor again. I knew it would be tense, and that I’d be consumed with the hatred I felt for the man. But in that precise moment, I actually felt relief. If anyone can talk Brax out of making the biggest mistake of his life, it will be the mastermind himself.

“Brax, put the fucking gun away, son. You’re not a killer. You never were. You don’t have it in you,” he states vehemently before swinging his gaze towards me. “Devon, you need to get him the fuck out of here. The police are five minutes out, tops. You don’t need to violate your good behavior bond for this piece of shit,” he says, pointing to Gibbons’ writhing body on the ground.

“Whatever you’re gonna do, I don’t want to know about it. I don’t wanna see it, and there’s to be no blow back on either of us. Capiche?” I say sternly. “Brax does not need to suffer like I did just because he’s had the misfortune of carrying your blood.”

The fucker’s eyes actually soften and I start losing my resolve. For the first time in over ten years, I see a glimpse of the proud, loving, responsible father that I grew up with. The one who taught me how to throw a ball, who spent an hour with a baseball mitt while I practiced my pitches for little league, the man who once loved my mother.

I shake my head in frustration. That isn’t the man standing in front of me. That man was lost years ago.

“Get out of here, both of you!” he yells at us. “I’ll clean this up. Now go!” The bellow of Michael Evans reverberates around the room.

I grab Brax’s arm and drag him towards the door. “Run, bro. We gotta get Elle out of here,” I say as we run in the direction of the car.

Two gun shots echo throughout the night air behind us. We don’t stop to look back, we don’t need to, but the sirens we hear in the distance tell us that we need to leave now.

I wake up just as the car comes to a stop. “Sweetheart, we’re home,” I hear Brax softly say from above me. I roll in his lap, my head resting on his thigh, his hand tangled in my hair. He hasn’t taken his hands off me even once since he got back into the car and told Shay to ‘Get the fuck outta here.’

He hooks his arms under my shoulders and knees and gets out of the car, carrying me like I’m light as a feather. He hasn’t smiled once since he got back into the car. Whatever went down in the cabin after I left is obviously haunting him. You can see it in his cold glassy eyes, the furrowed brows, his defeated posture. The only time I got a glimpse of the Brax I know was when he shifted over in the back seat beside me and laid my head in his lap, stroking my hair ever so gently, over and over.

There were no words exchanged for the entire drive home. I didn’t ask what happened when Shay took me out of that room, or ask who was in the black town car that turned up just as we reached the Mustang. And I really didn’t want to know who shot the gun that we heard booming through the night.

Shay and Devon lead us up to the apartment, opening the basement and then our apartment door so that Brax doesn’t have to put me down. Brax doesn’t stop walking until we reach our bathroom. I’ve been watching him the whole time, his face showing no emotion. He sits me down on the vanity, making sure I’m steady before walking into the shower and turning the water on.

He comes back and stands in front of me, reaching his arm above his head to pull his t-shirt off over his head in one smooth movement. I see how swollen his knuckles are from punching Gibbons. Grabbing one of his hands, I bring it to my mouth and softly kiss each knuckle, then look back up at him. He cups my face, stroking his thumbs slowly across my cheeks.

I strip my top off, then reach behind my back to unclasp my bra. Before I can slide it down my arms, Brax’s hands cover mine and we pull it the rest of the way together. Leaning forward, he lightly caresses my lips, his touch so light like he’s scared I’m going to break. He gently rests his forehead against mine, breathing me in. “I thought I’d lost you. That I’d never get to hold you, kiss you, love you again,” he whispers.

“I knew you’d find me. I knew you’d save me,” I reply, my voice full of emotion.

He moves his hands to his jeans, undoing them and removing the rest of his clothes until he’s standing naked in front of me. I slide off the vanity, copying him until I join him in his nakedness. He holds out his hand for mine, leading me into the steaming hot shower where he wraps me in his arms and just holds me, the soothing water streaming over us, washing the horrors of the night away from us.

We stay there for what seems like a lifetime, clinging to each other. With a lone tear escaping down my cheek, a sob escapes my heaving chest as all of the emotions and the intensity of the night’s events suddenly hit me. “Hush, baby. I’ve got you now. Nobody is going to hurt you ever again,” I hear Brax murmur against my head, his quaking voice telling me he’s as overwhelmed as I am. “Never again.”

When we’re finally out of the shower, and changed into some clean clothes, Shay and Devon are long gone.

I was still very shaken up when Shay took me back to the car. I was full of fear, desperate to know what was going on back inside the cabin. Brax’s eyes were so cold, so void of emotion. I was never scared of him, but I was scared of what the thought of losing me had done to him and what it may lead him to do to that man.

“Shay, you need to go stop him,” I had pleaded.

He looked at me, sadness filling his eyes. “Darlin’, Brax knows what he’s doing. He will be fine, and will be back with you as soon as he can. I promise you that.”

About an hour after we got home, the police were knocking on our door. We invited the two detectives into the living room; they just wanted to follow up, and make sure for themselves that I was unharmed. They didn’t say anything about what happened to Gibbons, but I’m trying not to think about that. I won’t be able to move on from this if I focus on what happened.

Now that I’m lying in bed, cocooned in Brax’s arms, I feel safer than I’ve ever been and relieved that this horrific ordeal is over. All of the worry, the stress, the job of protecting me...it is all behind us. I can’t wait to see Brax relax, the burden of worry gone from his face.

I feel him stir behind me. “Good morning, sweetheart,” he rasps. I’ve always loved his voice first thing in the morning.

I roll over in his arms until we’re lying face to face. “I love you, Brax,” I say quietly.

He gives me a sly smile, his eyes dancing with amusement. “I’m glad about that, because I’m never going to let you go.”

“I never want you to,” I reply before kissing him like my life depends on it. All of the fear and doubt are poured into this one kiss. He chuckles as he lets me take his mouth. My tongue strokes against his as my free hand snakes up between us, grabbing his hair to hold him close to me.

Tearing myself away from him, we sit there, nose to nose, just breathing each other in. I watch him as he closes his eyes, then takes a deep breath before slowly reopening them, staring straight into mine. He tightens his arms around me, pulling me in as close as he can.

I see something different in his eyes; the stress he’s held for the past year is gone. He looks open, relieved, full of love.

“Marry me,” he whispers against my lips.

My whole body stills. Of all the things he could have said in this moment, that was way down the list of possibilities. My eyes well up at the enormity of what he’s just said.

“I thought you’d never ask,” I say, bringing my hand down his cheek and trailing my tongue along his bottom lip.

He laughs again, the smile never leaving his face. “Is that a yes?”

I clear my throat, my tears of happiness choking me up. “Yes,” I say softly.

“Yes.” Kiss. “Yes.” Kiss. “Ye-”

Unable to hold back any longer, he rolls me on my back and attacks my mouth with renewed veracity. We are a tangle of hands and legs, unable to get enough of each other. He places kisses down my neck to my heavy breasts, worshipping each of them with his tongue before taking them in his mouth. I arch my back against him, needing more of his touch.

“I can’t wait any longer, babe. I need to be inside you, I need to show you,” he spits out before kissing me again.

Positioning himself between my open legs, he pushes himself into me, forcing a loud groan to escape me. The feeling of fullness, of being physically complete with Brax inside me, truly overwhelms me. Knowing that he wants me forever, he wants to marry me, spurs me on. I match his thrusts, our lovemaking overtaken with the raw passion that’s always been there. As I feel myself tighten around him, he moves his mouth to my ear. “Come with me, Mrs. James” and that is my undoing. We fall apart together, climaxing loudly as we come back down to earth.

Lying in bed beside each other, Brax rubs his hand up and down my naked side as I breathe out a sigh of contentment. “I’m home,” I say.

He props himself up, looking down at me. “You’ve always been home, Elle.”

“No, I haven’t. I lost everyone I loved four years ago. I thought that was the end of my life. That I’d never feel settled again. That I’d never have my anchor. But now I feel home again. I have you. Forever. You’re all I need, all I’ll ever want. I’m truly home now.

“You’re my home too, baby,” he says, his eyes full of adoration. “You are where I’m supposed to be.”

We spend the day at home. After last night’s drama, I need to have Elle by my side today. I can’t stop touching her. It’s like my subconscious realizes how close I came to losing her and is making up for it in abundance.

The moment she said yes to marrying me, it made all the shit we’d been through worth it. She’s agreed to be mine forever, and I could not be happier. Nothing can top that, nothing can even come close. Although, proposing in the middle of sex isn’t the most romantic of proposals, so I’ve come up with a plan to do it properly.

We’re lounging around on the couch when my phone starts ringing from the kitchen. I grab it, look at the caller ID, and wonder why the hell Sylvia would be calling me. We may have cleared the air, but I wouldn’t say we’re at the ‘call each other to say hi’ stage, that’s for fucking sure.

“Hello,” I answer gruffly.

“Brax! Oh my goodness, please tell me Elle’s okay? Do you need anything? Have they asked for a ransom?” she shrieks down the phone.

“Calm down, Sylvia. She’s fine, we rescued her late last night. What I wanna know is how the hell do you know about it because I sure as shit didn’t ring you?” I ask suspiciously.

“Don’t be mad, but Victor called me. He thought I should know.” I’m suddenly frozen on the spot. How the fuck does Victor know my birth mother?

“Sylvia, why would my boss be calling you about Elle being kidnapped?” I ask, angry at yet another secret being kept from me.

“It’s not something we should discuss over the phone, Brax,” she says, brushing it off.

I’m seething now. “Sylvia, unless you want there to be more problems between us, you’ll start talking. Right now!”

“Brax, I think we should do this face to face. There’s a lot of stuff from the past we still haven’t talked about yet,” she replies shakily.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I say through gritted teeth. I feel Elle wrap her hands around my waist, and I look down to see her frowning.

“I changed my name when I left home. My family had a sketchy reputation, to say the least, and I didn’t want to be tarred by their dirty brush. So I started using my mother’s maiden name, Robinson.”

“That’s the name on my birth certificate,” I spit out. She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know.

“Yes, but my family name is Bertorelli.”

And all of a sudden everything makes sense. It’s like the final puzzle piece of my life has finally clicked into place.

“Victor…” I breathe out.

“Is my brother, yes. Your uncle. He’s been watching out for you for a while now,” she continues to explain.

“Why the fuck didn’t he tell me? He knew I tried to find you after Roger died!” I shout. Elle is rubbing my back now, trying to calm my rigid body.

“I asked him not to tell you. He told me that he recruited you, and to be honest, I hated him for it. I didn’t want you involved in his kind of business,” I hear her sigh.