Lost & Found Love (25 page)

“Oh, Joseph…”

He dropped his gaze to the teddy bear. “I brought you a present. He has something to give you too. Shall I help you?” Tabby looked at the small silk bag around the stuffed animal’s neck and nodded. As Joseph tipped the ring from the bag into her palm, he whispered, “This wasn’t exactly how I pictured doing this, but in the end, the setting isn’t nearly as important as the words. Will you marry me, Tabby? I want to marry you, not to salvage your job or my job, not because of any gossip, but because I love you. There’s no other woman I want beside me, no other woman who brings out the best of me. I promise I’ll stand by you and do the same.”

Tabby’s gaze held worry. “Joseph, I’m afraid I’ll hurt your work.”

He stroked her hair and smiled at her. “Never. Tabby, you may have an aversion to the church itself, but you live by example every day. Anyone who looks at you, who spends time with you, can see that. You’ve already changed so many lives since you arrived.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You know, there’s a question you’ve never asked me.”

“What’s that?”

“How I ended up in the ministry to begin with. Or did you think I was born that way?” When she looked uncomfortable, he touched her cheek. “Don’t worry about it. A lot of people are hesitant to ask how and why I made the decision. But I want you to know.

“Some of my childhood probably wasn’t a whole lot different than yours. My family was poor. My father…like your stepfather…was abusive, and my mother was an alcoholic. Her escape, I guess.”

She squeezed his hand. He stroked his thumb over hers.

“I got into a lot of trouble, even committing some petty crimes. It got worse as I became a teenager. Then one night, my best friend, Ash, and I got into a fight with some kids from the next county over. One of them pulled a knife.” He paused, swallowed at the memory. “I watched Ash bleed to death. Everyone ran. I couldn’t leave him to get help, and I couldn’t save him by staying.”

Tabby’s eyes filled. “It’s why you work so hard with the kids, isn’t it?”

He sighed. “Yeah. I changed that night, and I made a promise to Ash that his life would mean something.”

Tabby bit her lip and stared at the ring. “I want to say yes, Joseph. But how can I begin to live up to you?

“I’m not perfect, Tabby. Not even close. I need you. You make me human, see me as a man. I need that. Please take me, flawed as I am.” Joe had trouble choking out the last part. He kissed her fingers and hid his face.

“There’s one more thing that you should know. I…I can’t be a…wife to you…not physically right now.”

He took the ring from her and slipped it on her uninjured right hand. “Tabby, I love all of you. I would marry you tomorrow if you could never be a wife to me in that way.” He touched her head and her heart. “This is what matters. I look forward to the time when you’re healed enough for us to be lovers, but until then…” He shrugged. “We’ll find our own ways to be intimate.”

Tabby smiled. “Holly and Jenny, and even Catherine told me that, but I wanted it out in the open.”

He smiled. “What else did they tell you?”

Tabby blushed. “This and that.”

Joseph laughed. “Marry me. As soon as we get over this hurdle with the church council, I know just the man to perform the ceremony. You could call him a cohort in crime, I guess. Will you marry me soon? Even if Stoner and I have to hold you up?”

“You already lift me up, Joseph, every day. So yes, I’ll marry you, and maybe I can return the favor.”

As soon as Joe walked into the church council meeting with Jake, he saw that their efforts had already borne fruit. He couldn’t help thinking that the meeting had turned into a farce. Dennis Underwood stood isolated from the group, and many members greeted Joseph with a hearty handshake, Jim Tarpley at the front of the line.

“Joe, sorry your vacation was cut a little short, but I guess it turned out to be a lucky thing for Tabby.”

Joe smiled. “It was. It was a fortunate thing for both of us, but I’ll explain that later.”

John Gatewood opened the meeting with a prayer. When he finished, he looked at Joe. “Pastor, as you know, your covenant with us includes a pledge that you will lead your flock through the example of your own life. That is a promise to us that your behavior inside and outside this church will be moral and above reproach. Is that also your understanding?”

“Yes.”

“A charge was placed before this council that you left Tabitha MacVie’s home before dawn a week ago Friday. Is this true?”

“Yes.” Joe would give them the truth no matter the cost. While he loved his job, his main concern right now was Tabby.

Several of the men shifted uncomfortably. Jake looked around at all of the council members and said quietly, “Perhaps you should listen to Pastor’s explanation. You know our faith tells us we’ve all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Jim Tarpley spoke up. “I know that for a fact. I certainly haven’t lived a life so blameless that I would dare cast stones.”

Joe stood, the stress of the past few days making him feel tired beyond his years. This wasn’t going to be easy, but he needed everything out in the open. If he withheld information, then Joe knew the council and the congregation’s trust in him would be gone, and he could no longer be an effective minister to any of them. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do gentlemen, but if the sin of lust occurs just from the thought, then I’m guilty. I went to Tabby’s house the evening before Mr. Underwood saw me leave looking for comfort, not only in her friendship, but I hoped physical as well. I’ve been attracted to Tabby since I first saw her.

“When I arrived, she was in her studio distraught over a student for reasons of which Mr. Underwood is fully aware. It was Tabby who needed the comfort, not sexual or even romantic. She simply needed a friend. She asked me to stay with her because she feared she would be unable to sleep. And that’s exactly what we did—sleep. When Mr. Underwood saw me, I was leaving Tabby’s home after sleeping with her, but not after having sexual relations with her. I had indeed gone to her house with the intent of kissing her at the very least. So if that’s a violation of the moral conduct you expect, then I’m guilty. If I showed poor judgment in staying with her, then I’m guilty.”

Joe glanced down at the table, recalling how things had gone so wrong, before he continued. “I asked Tabby the following evening to marry me, and she turned me down because she feared her aversion to organized religion would hamper my ability to minister to my flock. She has reason to be wary of churches. The man she thought was her father beat her as a child and misguidedly sought help from his own church to change who she was. Despite that, Tabby doesn’t suffer from a lack of faith in God, simply a lack of trust in the humans who say they represent him. I had to overcome that hurdle before we could be friends.”

He met the eyes of each and every council member, many of whom shifted uneasily. He wasn’t going into any more details about his relationship with Tabby. That was their private business.

“I’m happy to say I asked Tabby again yesterday evening to be my wife, and she’s agreed. So, let me get this out on the table right now since you have brought me here based on the covenant you made with me, and I want no misunderstandings or misconceptions. Your agreement is with me. Tabby is not a part of that. If that’s not acceptable to this council, then we should deal with it, and you may accept my resignation. My calling is mine. Tabby has her own gifts and uses them in her own way. I hope each of you will see that as you know her better.” Joe looked around at all of the council members. “Thank you. Jake and I will step outside so you may discuss the matter and make your decision.”

When the door closed behind them, Joe’s shoulders slumped, and he rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. “All I want is to be at Tabby’s side right now, to support her while she recovers.” He turned to Jake. “I love this church and this community, but, Jake, if I have to make a choice, I’ll choose Tabby. Maybe God is telling me preaching is not the gift I should be using.”

“Bullshit.” Jake blushed furiously at Joe’s raised brows. “Sorry. You have an amazing gift, Joe, not just as a preacher but also as a pastor. We need you. In the community and the church. They’ll realize that, and they would have done so without any of us making phone calls to help it happen. You’ll see.”

Jake grimaced. Joe wondered if it was the strain of stringing so many words together.

Just a few minutes later, John Gatewood and Jim Tarpley opened the door to invite them back in. The chill in the room had thawed perceptibly. The mood was relaxed and accepting. The only person who still seemed ill at ease was Dennis Underwood, but he’d begun to look uncomfortable from the moment Joe mentioned the thought was as much the sin as the deed. Joe’s jaw tightened as he wondered whether Underwood had entertained his own lustful thoughts about Tabby. After all, the man did seem to have his own personal vendetta going.

* * * *

Tabby heard the slight movement of her hospital room door the next morning and turned her head eagerly toward the sound. Joseph entered, casually attired in khakis and a faded blue polo shirt that only made the blue of his eyes that much brighter. She searched his expression, which gave nothing away, hoping for some indication about how his meeting with the church council had gone.

“Well?” she finally asked as he approached her bed.

His expression was all blank innocence. “Well what?”

“Joseph! How did it go last night?”

He sat in the chair next to her bed and took her hand. Tabby’s heart began to thud. What if they had fired him? Finally, he looked up and smiled, his straight, white teeth gleaming.

“Everything’s okay, Tabby. I still have my job. They’ve given me an official reprimand, and yes, that will go in my personnel file, but the council followed it with a vote of confidence.”

“Oh, thank heaven.”

“I’m relieved they decided to follow the idea that we are all sinners deserving of forgiveness. Jake and Jim Tarpley were a tremendous help.”

“I’m so happy for you.”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. “Happy for us. I have to tell you, the meeting wasn’t one of Dennis Underwood’s shining moments. You still have that hurdle to face.”

“It’s something I will have to think about.”

He touched her cheek, stroking gently. “Get well first.”

A short time later, Tabby looked up from where she and Joseph still quietly talked. Jarrett Campbell walked into the room, dwarfing Jenny who was right behind him. “Good morning, Tabby,” he greeted her cheerfully. “I’m flying home today. Do you know what that means?”

Tabby smiled. “I can go home too?” She looked at Joseph and beamed. Evan and Stoner had already stopped by to get her signature on the petition to change her name. She noticed the relationship between the two continued to thaw. Stoner also confided he was phoning in the announcement of Tabby and Joseph’s engagement. Three weeks. They would wait that long so Tabby could at least have her shoulder out of the immobilizer. Joseph would have done it tomorrow, but Tabby drew the line. She was girly enough to want to be able to look decent in a wedding dress.

As she waded through the paperwork and instructions for her release, Stoner returned with Evan. Tabby felt a surge of love. This man was her father, but he was also her friend. She knew he wasn’t perfect. She also knew he wasn’t nearly as evil as he had been painted.

“If you don’t think you’d be too tired, Tabby,” he said, his voice rough, “Catherine and I would like to have a family dinner this evening. We want you there, Joseph, and”—he turned to Evan—”we would love to have you, Jenny, and Peter as well.”

Evan’s expression was remote. “I won’t speak for Jenny, Dad, but I will discuss it with her and let you know.”

Stoner sighed and nodded. “I understand. Catherine should be here with Peterson in a moment. You will be sure to let the state folks know I am back on my leash?”

Evan’s mouth twisted. “Yes, sir.”

“I’ll find a wheelchair while you check to see if Mrs. Richardson is here yet, sir,” Joseph offered in an attempt to leave Tabby and Evan alone for a minute.

After the door closed behind them, Tabby invited him to sit down. “I haven’t had a chance to tell you how happy I am to know you’re my big brother.”

Evan smiled crookedly. “You were a little out of commission when I discovered you were my baby sister. I’m glad I could be there for you.”

She touched his lean, elegant hand, so like their father’s and so like hers with the long, sensitive fingers and, she smiled, the extra long pinkie. “You’re conflicted about Daddy, aren’t you?”

“Does it show that much?”

Tabby grinned. “Yeah.”

“So much has happened….”

“Please, Evan, please come tonight,” she begged. “He needs to talk about it. And I think we all need to hear what he…and your mother have to say.”

Evan arched a brow. “She knows something she’s not telling.”

“I think so too.”

Evan stood up, paced over to the window, and spun around to stare at her from across the room. “He never gave any kind of an explanation to us last year when the shit hit the fan. He pleaded guilty to the conspiracy charges without batting an eye. I wanted a trial at the time. I wanted the fight in court. I needed to see him humiliated, but he pleaded guilty, shut himself up in that damn house, and wouldn’t talk to anyone. But you know what it’s all about, don’t you?”

“Some of it. He’s said some things.”

Evan raked his hands through his hair. “I’ll talk to her. I won’t promise she’ll be there, but I’ll come.”

Tabby smiled in relief. “Help me up. I hear Stoner and Joe.”

* * * *

Stoner paced the family room like a caged tiger. In the background, Joseph picked out a tune on the piano while Tabby rested on the sofa nearby. Catherine was in the kitchen, conferring with Peterson and the cook over some last minute adjustment to dinner. Meanwhile, Stoner was going quietly crazy. He was so afraid Evan and Jenny wouldn’t show that his upper lip was slightly damp with perspiration. When he heard the doorbell, he nearly dropped his bourbon. A moment later, the door to the room opened and Jenny walked in carrying Peter, Evan a step behind her.