Lost in You (16 page)

“Come in,” I holler. Ryan lets go of my ha
nd. He turns away and stares out the window, stuffing his hands into his pockets when Alex walks in.

“Your car is here.”

“Great, thank you. Do you want to come with us?”

“To church?”

I nod.

“I’ll pass. I have a date with my American Express.” The thought
of going shopping appeals to me, but this is important to Ryan. It’s important to me. I want his parents to like me and if his mom is offering an olive branch, I’m not going to turn my back.

Alex turns and leaves. I know she’s waiting for a heart-to-hear
t, the one where I tell her that I’ve fallen completely in love with him even though we’ve just met. If I believed in love at first sight, I’d say I had it for Ryan, but I don’t. Not after last time.

I walk over to
Ryan and slide my arms through his. My head rests between his shoulder blades. He leans back, gently, adding just enough pressure to let me know he’s aware of me. My lips press to his cloth-covered back. He turns in my arms, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close.

“I hate thinking about leaving this room.”

“I know. I’ll have a house soon, not that it makes much difference, but we’ll have more freedom. We’d be able to go outside and walk around.”

“I can’t wait.”

Ryan smiles down on me, giving me a light kiss on my nose. “We need to go.”

I reluctantly let him go and we walk side by side out of my hotel room. Our arms brush lightly as we walk. I want to hold his hand, but with the security cameras, I can’t risk it. I hate feeling this way – hate it. It
makes me feel as if I’m ashamed that he’s with me. Of all things, why does he have to be only seventeen?

When we reach the lobby, Ryan slips his jacket over his head. This is something we discussed and as much as I hate it, it’s for the best. I need to pro
tect Ryan and this is the only way to do it. The last thing I need is for Ian to have to do damage control. He has already been leaving me angry voicemails and once he figures out I’m in Jackson, he’s going to become even more irate. Not that I can blame him. I did leave right after a show without any word to him.

Ryan follows me through the lobby. As soon as the door opens, I look to my left and then right. I don’t see any cameras, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, lurking in the shadows and behind
brick walls. I slide into the car, followed by Ryan. Once the driver has shut the door, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

I search for Ryan’s hand while watching out the windows as the driver takes off. We’re sitting too far apart due t
o the lack of privacy glass. At least the windows are tinted. Alex will have to be more specific when she orders cars, especially when I’m with Ryan. I don’t want to hold back if I don’t have to.

Our
conversation stills and, believe it or not, we discuss the weather. I never thought I’d be that type of person, apparently I am. Ryan tells me that the temperature here stays fairly warm through the winter, but they do get a lot of rain. He asks me about Christmas in New York City, so I tell him. I watch as his features change, much like you’d assume a little boy on Christmas morning would look. I may have to kidnap him and take him to New York. There is no way I’m not going to try and recreate this image again.

When we pull into the church parking lot, people
stop and stare. I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve rented a car and drove us. This black town car is a sore thumb, a blinking light screaming ‘look at me’! I lean my head back and close my eyes, wanting it all to go away just for two hours so I can meet my boyfriend’s mother without any disruptions. Somehow I doubt that’s going to happen.

I slip on my dark glasses and large hat just as my door opens. I’m being treated like the celebrity that I am. I should’ve asked for no special treatment. I seem to stop thin
king rationally when I’m with Ryan. He clouds my judgment. This isn’t what his mom needs to see. I look like some rich snob, too lazy to open my own door.

Ryan nudges me. I look at him briefly and smile before sliding out of the car. He follows, reaching
for my hand once the car door shuts. I try to pull away, to save him from the onslaught of what’s about to happen, but he holds on tighter.

The last time I was here, we snuck in. That was the smart thing to do. This time, I’m out in the wide open and peop
le staring. Funny enough, these are the same people that saw me in the basement and paid no attention to me, but now, they can’t get enough of an eyeful.

Ryan walks us by a small group of people. A few of them whisper, one of them points. I should be used
to this, but I feel like I’m under a microscope. I’m being scrutinized and I hate it.

His mom walks up to us. Her dress is green and looks new. She beams when she looks at her son. The expression on her face is infectious and I can’t help but grin.

“Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Hadley. Hadley, this is my mom, Sally Stone.” Ryan repeats the same words he said last time he introduced us, only adding
girlfriend
this time. I extend my hand and am warmly met by Sally Stone’s hand.

“It’s a pleasure
to meet you, Hadley.” Her hand is cold in mine. She doesn’t have a strong grip.

“Believe me, Mrs. Stone, the pleasure’s all mine.”

“Please, call me Sally.”

I look at Ryan, who looks pleased, if not sitting on the edge of excited. “Thank you for inviting
me today.”

“Well, I know you’re busy so I’m glad you could join us.”

Ryan leans in and gives his mom a kiss on the cheek. Her face lights up, like this is the first time he’s done something so sweet. Somehow I doubt that.

We follow his mom into church. I
try to ignore the stares and whispers and wonder if Ryan is listening. If he is, does he care? I pray that he doesn’t, because this is peanuts compared to what things will be like if we were to be seen in someplace like New York.

We stop short when his fri
end, Dylan, steps in front of us. She looks upset. Her hands are resting on her hips and her eyes are red. It looks as if she’s been crying.

“I can’t believe you brought her here after you told me yes.”

Ryan

I freeze when
Dylan stops in front of us. I never got a chance to tell Hadley about the stupid dance. No, that’s not right. I had many chances, but couldn’t bring myself to say the words. Deep down I have a feeling I’ve done something wrong. Every time the words were ready to come out, my heart feels as if it’s squeezing, cutting off my circulation. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I tell Hadley, but my gut is telling me that she’s going to be hurt.

Dylan stands in front of us. She looks stiff, nothing like the D
ylan I’m used to. Her eyes are dark, heavy with make-up. She tried this look once before and I told her it made her look scary, only I can tell she’s been crying. She looks at Hadley and back to me, her eyes becoming wet.

I look at Hadley as she pulls away
, joining my mom in a pew. My mom nods to Dylan and looks at the side door. I suppose that means I need to talk to Dylan, but what do I say? I’d rather sit with Hadley through the sermon and deal with Dylan later. I turn around and walk back down the aisle toward the side door with Dylan following.

She slams the door and pushes me, her fists clenched. “What is she doing here?”

I step away from her and her flying fists, waiting for her to calm down. I’ve never seen her like this. Dylan crosses her arms and stares out the window. I wait, but hope that she gets on with whatever her issue is because I want to get back to Hadley.

“Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“You said you’d take me to Homecoming.”

“And I will.”

“But you’re still going to see her?”

I run my hand through my hair and sigh. Maybe this is why I’ve never had a girlfriend, because this is all complicated. Did agreeing to take Dylan to a dance mean we were now a couple? Because if that’s the case it’s not what I meant.

”Why would I stop seeing her? I like her.”

Dylan turns and shakes her head. She presses her face into her hands. I don’t know if I should reach out and touch her shoulder or what, so I just stand here with my hands stuffed into my pockets.

She walks to the door and opens it, leaving me rooted in my spo
t. She turns and looks at me and doesn’t say anything before walking back into the church. I scratch my head, wondering why I had to come back here if she wasn’t going to talk.

I also wonder what is going on with her.

I quietly close the door behind me and walk to the pew where my mom and Hadley are sitting. They are right next to each other, sharing a Bible. I can’t help but smile. I sit down next to Hadley and pull her hand into mine. She looks over at me briefly and smiles before giving her attention to my mom. I think this one time I’m okay with not being the focus of her attention because when I lean forward I see my mom smile – and that is a sight I want to see every day.

Sitting through this sermon is torture. I think this is why mom suggested Hadle
y come, to teach us a lesson. I think about plugging my ears, but I’m not sure that would go over too well. Instead I listen to Reverend Monroe talk about the sins of sex before marriage and I start thinking that while this may put my mom’s mind at ease, it only spurs mine.

I don’t think Sally Stone would be too happy to find out her son now wants to test the waters after listening to Reverend Monroe go on and on about the pleasures of sex between a man and a woman, even if he’s telling the young members o
f the congregation that we should wait.

When he finishes speaking there are snickers from the younger members. I have a feeling his message of abstinence didn’t hit home like he thought it would. I look around and spot Dylan, who is glaring at me. I try to
grin, but clearly that is the wrong thing to do. She stands and walks out of the church. A few people turn and look when the door slams. This, of course, catches my mom’s attention. She looks down and shakes her head before standing and greeting other parishioners like she’s never met them before.

I pull Hadley up, leading her out of the aisle toward the basement door. I can’t sneak her into the utility closet this time, even though all these thoughts are running through my head, courtesy of Reverend Monr
oe. I’m tempted to find out just what her skin feels like against mine. If it’s as pleasurable and sinful as he described. This is a sin I’m willing to commit, but I doubt she’ll let me.

When I look back,
she’s staring at me. For a moment I think her eyes sparkle, but I know that’s ridiculous – it’s the light from the stained glass window shining just right against her, making her beauty stand out. I’ve never seen someone so pretty, at least not like her. I’ve never thought of Dylan as pretty, I guess maybe she is. I know guys at school think she is, but to me she’s just Dylan. But when I look at Hadley, I want to get lost in her as if she’s my salvation.

She pushes me forward, shaking her head and laughing
. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the way I feel when I look at her, or the way she makes me feel. I suppose if I don’t, it’s something I can look forward to each time I see her or am in a room with her. This feeling, it’s not something I want to go away.

Hadley wraps her hand around my forearm and leans into me. I like this. I like the way she’s being with me here. But I know this is only because we're away from others and somewhat secluded. No one has headed toward the social gathering in the basement,
but they will soon.

I’m surprised to find Dylan downstairs when we get there. She looks at me briefly before turning away. She’s putting out the cookies, which is something I usually help her with. Hadley grabs my hand and drags us over to the table.

“Hi, Dylan.”

Dylan stills, her hand lingering over the tray. She sets down the package of cookies and turns toward Hadley. I can’t tell if her smile is genuine or not, but her eyes definitely look cold.

“Hadley, it’s so nice for you to join us.”

“Thanks. I
like your church.”

“Of course you do,” Dylan mumbles as she turns back to the cookies.

Hadley lets go of my hand and starts unwrapping a pack of cookies. Dylan looks at her out of the corner of her eye, but doesn’t stop her. Maybe if I leave them, they can talk and Dylan can go back to being Hadley’s number one fan.

I step away and go set up the coffee. As much as I’d like to stay and listen to what they’re talking about, I’d like Dylan to go back to liking Hadley. I’m still not sure what Dylan’s problem
is. I wish someone would tell me though, because I miss my friend and don’t really like being on the receiving end of her dirty looks and angry outbursts.

I sneak glances at Dylan and Hadley every few moments. They seem to be chatting and Dylan smiles a fe
w times. My mom joins them and laughter ensues. I’m a bit jealous that I’m missing what’s so funny, but I have feeling I’m the cause of Dylan’s anger so it’s probably best that I stay away. Even if that means I’m missing Hadley.