Lost Innocence (27 page)

‘It’s him!’ Nat cried from halfway up the stairs. ‘He’s not listening. He keeps telling me I’ve missed points when …’

‘I’m sorry,’ Craig interrupted. ‘I know I’m not on form tonight. We probably shouldn’t have started. Can we try again tomorrow?’

‘I’ve got rugby tomorrow.’

‘OK, then at the weekend. You’ve clearly researched the subject and you’re making a great case, so it deserves to have my full attention. Can we do that? Sunday afternoon?’

‘Maybe,’ Nat said, and clearly still feeling furious and let down he ran on up the stairs.

Alicia looked at Craig.

He sighed and pushed his hands through his hair. ‘I need to do some work,’ he said.

Closing the door to the den so Darcie couldn’t hear, Alicia said, ‘What is it? I knew something was up when you came home this …’

‘Just leave it,’ he barked. ‘It’s nothing.’

Her face paled as she regarded him. ‘She’s been in touch again, hasn’t she?’ she said, feeling her head starting to spin.

‘No! All right, yes she has.’

She tried to swallow but her throat had turned dry. ‘Have you seen her?’ she asked.

‘No, of course not.’

Her face was so tight now that her mouth hardly seemed to move as she said, ‘Do you want to?’

His eyes came to hers. ‘What kind of question is that?’ he demanded.

Pushing him into the sitting room and slamming the door, she said, ‘It’s a perfectly reasonable question that you seem unable to answer. So I’ll ask it again. Do you want to see her?’

‘No, I do not want to see her.’

‘Then why are you so uptight?’

‘Because she won’t leave me alone, and she keeps threatening to damn well kill herself … What the hell am I going to do if she does?’

Resisting the urge to say
dance on her grave
, Alicia turned away and sank down on a sofa, cradling her head in her hands.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, coming to sit with her. ‘It’s not that I care about her, I swear it, but the way she seems to be suffering …’

‘Do you think I care about that?’ she raged, looking up.

‘No, of course not, but for Christ’s sake, I don’t want to be responsible for someone taking their own life.’

‘No! If she commits suicide then that’s her decision. It has nothing to do with you.’

‘I wish to God I could see it like that, but I can’t.’

‘Then learn to. You keep telling me it’s over, but the way you are now … You’re thinking about her all the time.’

‘That’s not true. Today’s the first time she’s rung in a week. I was hoping … I thought, when I didn’t hear, that she’d finally got the message, but it seems I was wrong.’

‘Then let me speak to her. I’ll make sure she gets the damned message.’

He shook his head. ‘You remember what happened the last time you two …’

‘I’m not going to see her,’ she spat. She put out her hand. ‘Give me your phone,’ she said.

He frowned uncertainly.

‘I said, give me your phone. She’ll answer if she thinks it’s you.’

‘Alicia, this isn’t a good idea.’

‘I want your phone,’ she seethed. ‘If she thinks she’s going
to blackmail you into seeing her with ludicrous threats of suicide, which, I might say, she has no intention of carrying out, then she can think again.’

‘I’m not giving you the phone.’

Her face turned white. ‘If you won’t, then I’ll know you’ve got something to hide,’ she said in a dangerously low tone.

Sighing, he took it from his pocket and handed it over.

‘What’s the number hidden under?’ she asked, starting to scroll through.

‘Keats.’

She looked at him, wanting to hit him. ‘The fact that you still have it is bad enough, that it’s under the name of a poet … How the hell am I supposed to believe it’s over?’

‘Alicia, stop doing this, please,’ he implored.

Finding the entry, she pressed to connect and walked to the window, shaking, as she waited for a reply.

‘Darling, at last. I knew you’d call …’

‘It’s not Craig, you whore,’ Alicia seethed. ‘I know you’ve rung him again, threatening to kill yourself, well perhaps you could do us all a favour and just get on with it.’

Sabrina gasped. ‘You bitch!’ she cried. ‘I’m not speaking to you …’

‘You’re not speaking to him either. Just leave us alone, Sabrina. You’ve done enough damage …’

‘It’s not me who’s calling him,’ Sabrina broke in furiously. ‘He’s calling me because he can’t let go any more than I can. We love one another …’

‘You’re a liar and fantasist,’ Alicia broke in, looking desperately at Craig. ‘He can’t stand you.’

Craig flinched and Sabrina yelled, ‘That’s what you like to think, but let me tell you this. Every time he makes love to you, he’s thinking of me. Whenever he looks at you, he’s wishing you were me, and we both know you’ve been wondering where he really is when he says he’s working late at night, well he’s with me. It’s not over between us, Alicia, and it never will be.’

Alicia was trembling uncontrollably as Craig came to take the phone.

‘Sabrina, you have to get help,’ he said quietly, and without
waiting for a response he ended the call and turned off the phone.

‘Did you hear what she said?’ Alicia asked hoarsely.

‘More or less. It’s not true, I hope you know that.’

She turned away.

Catching her, he forced her to look at him. ‘It’s not true,’ he insisted. ‘I have not seen her since the day I told her it was over.’

‘So where have you been when you’re supposed to be working late?’

‘There’s no supposed about it. That’s where I’ve been.’

‘So how does she know … ?’

‘Alicia, you’re falling into her trap. Working late goes with the territory of being a lawyer. Everyone knows that, including her, so she’s using it to try and drive a wedge between us again.’

She was shaking her head. ‘I want to believe you,’ she said, ‘but I’m afraid to.’

‘If it’ll help, go through my phone,’ he said, trying to pass it back. ‘You’ll find one call from her, the one I received today, and that’s it. I haven’t rung her, I haven’t seen her, and I don’t want to see her.’

Her eyes were swimming in tears of uncertainty as she looked at him. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked.

‘Of course I’m sure.’

Her head went down, and allowing him to draw her to him she rested a cheek on his shoulder as her mind spun with the chaos of lies and betrayal.

‘It’ll be fine,’ he told her, holding her tight. ‘Everything will, you just wait and see.’

‘Have you been crying?’ Sabrina asked, throwing a quick glance at Annabelle as she drove her to Georgie’s.

‘No,’ Annabelle answered shortly, keeping her face averted.

‘Yes you have, I can hear it in your voice. What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

Sabrina glanced at her again. ‘Is it something…’

‘Just leave it, will you? I’m fine.’

To her relief her mother only sighed and continued to
drive. If she’d kept on Annabelle knew she wouldn’t have been able to stand it, because she was still so close to the edge that she couldn’t allow herself to think about anything, especially Nat, or she’d go over again. He shouldn’t have hung up on her like that. It was mean and rude and had made her feel like a stupid minger, and as though she didn’t mean anything to anyone. She’d only wanted to be friends, but he’d hardly even spoken to her.

‘I expect his mother was there,’ Georgie said comfortingly when they were in the privacy of her room and Annabelle related what had happened through a storm of tears.

‘Yeah, I thought of that,’ Annabelle wailed, dabbing at her eyes. ‘It’s not that he doesn’t like me, is it?’

‘No, of course not. I only said he wasn’t interested because I was feeling really crap myself. It’s weepy Wednesday, remember? We’re both on a downer.’

‘We need to get some weed.’

‘I know. Oh sod Clark’s Village, I’ll go and tell Mum we’ve changed our minds, then I’ll ring Melody. She usually knows where to get some.’

As Georgie left the room, Annabelle huddled herself up in the window seat and stared absently down into the valley. She was thinking of Nat, and her mother, and how fantastic everything used to be, and wishing with all her heart that it could be like it again.

‘This is the best holiday ever, isn’t it?’ Annabelle sighed happily, as her mother wandered into Annabelle’s tower room in the Italian villa.

Sabrina smiled and drew a hand softly round her cheek. ‘Absolutely,’ she whispered. There was a glow about her that made her appear more beautiful than ever, and Annabelle’s heart filled with love and pride that she was her mother. ‘It’s the perfect place to fall in love,’ Sabrina murmured.

Annabelle coloured to the roots of her hair.

Noticing, Sabrina’s smile deepened. ‘It’s OK,’ she said kindly, ‘I’m not surprised you’ve fallen for Nat. You two have always been close, and he’s very good-looking.’

A delirious glow of infatuation broke through the hesitancy
in Annabelle’s eyes. ‘Do you think he’s fallen for me too?’ she asked shyly.

Sabrina laughed in a way that always seemed to light up Annabelle’s world. ‘How could he not?’ she answered, hugging her. ‘And I won’t ask what the two of you have been getting up to when you go walking in the olive groves, or disappear to play some board game or other, Italy’s such a romantic place …’

‘We don’t do anything,’ Annabelle protested, blushing so hotly it was painful.

Appearing surprised, Sabrina said, ‘You mean he hasn’t kissed you yet?’

Annabelle’s head went down as she started to smile. ‘Well, yes, he has,’ she confessed. Then, ‘Actually, lots of times.’

Sabrina gave another tinkle of laughter, and laughing too Annabelle threw her arms around her and they tumbled in a heap on to the bed. Though she longed to ask her mother’s advice on how much further she should let him go, she knew, because she was only thirteen, that her mother would take a very different view of the relationship if she had any idea of the way Annabelle was thinking. But as soon as she was sixteen it would be all right, because then they could tell everyone that they wanted to get married, once they’d finished their studies.

‘We have to go to university first,’ Nat had insisted, when they’d discussed it earlier in the day, while lying in their secret little niche in the olive groves behind the villa. ‘And maybe we should wait until I’ve passed my bar exams before we make any proper plans.’

‘Of course,’ she agreed, and felt a burn hotter than the sun slide between her legs as he pulled her to him. ‘Do you think they’ll be shocked that we want to get married?’ she whispered shakily.

‘Probably, but who cares?’

Gazing at him adoringly, she said, ‘I really love you.’

‘I love you too,’ he murmured, and covered her mouth with his.

‘Is he a good kisser?’ Sabrina asked mischievously, as they lay side by side on the bed.

Annabelle blushed again. ‘Yes,’ she answered. ‘I mean, I’ve never kissed anyone else, but I know he’s the best.’

Sabrina’s head came round to look at her. ‘That’s because he comes from the best,’ she said softly, ‘and nothing else will do for my girl. But promise me it won’t go any further than kissing. He’s older than you, and you’re very beautiful, so he could feel tempted to try and persuade you to do more, especially when you’re walking around in a bikini most of the time.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Annabelle said, looking away, and feeling glad that her mother had no way of knowing that Nat was the one holding back more than she was. Then in a rush of euphoria she smiled and snuggled into her, as she said, ‘I wish we didn’t have to go home tomorrow, don’t you?’

‘Mm,’ Sabrina answered, gazing up at the frescoed ceiling as she idly stroked Annabelle’s hair. ‘I think we’ll both have very special memories of this holiday, my darling, and maybe, one day, we might even come back here. Would you like to live in Italy?’

‘To live?’ Annabelle echoed in surprise. ‘Only if Nat was here.’

Sabrina smiled. ‘Of course,’ she said, ‘and who knows, maybe he will be.’

Chapter Twelve

Sabrina’s welcoming smile was fading fast as she looked at Robert. He’d just returned, a day earlier than scheduled, but apparently, instead of coming straight home, where she’d been waiting, he’d dropped in to see his sister first.

‘I see,’ she said, feeling dizzied and angry and unsure of what to say. ‘Well maybe you’d like to go back over there and spend some more time with her,’ she blurted sharply. ‘After all, I don’t suppose it matters that I cancelled my arrangements this morning in order to be here for you?’

Immediately looking contrite, he said, ‘You didn’t need to do that. I told you when I rang that I wouldn’t be staying long. I’m due at the labs in a couple of hours. I only came back to change and pick up my mail. I thought maybe we could go out for dinner this evening.’

Sabrina was still stinging from the slight of having come second to his sister. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather take Alicia?’ she said coldly.

‘Darling, don’t be childish,’ he said. ‘Of course I’d rather take you. Anyway, she’s meeting one of Craig’s old colleagues at Hunstrete House.’

Sabrina stiffened.

Noticing, he felt a fist close tightly in his chest, and wished he could take the words back. ‘One of your old haunts?’ he said, managing to keep his tone mild, but it was underscored by an acuity that gave a knowing edge to his smile.

She turned away, intending to pick up her car keys.

He didn’t want a row, more than anything he wanted to take her in his arms and start his homecoming all over again, perhaps even begin their marriage all over again,
but he heard himself saying, ‘I hear you’ve managed to throw a spanner in the works for Alicia’s shop.’

Sabrina spun round, outrage not quite managing to mask the guilt in her eyes. ‘I’m not the one who makes the rules,’ she snapped.

‘My guess is you didn’t even know what they were until you went looking,’ he commented. He looked her straight in the eye. ‘It’s not going to stop her,’ he said evenly. ‘She’ll get the authorisations or permits…’

‘Why? Because you’re going to help her?’

‘I don’t have any sway with the local authority. She’ll get them through the proper channels, so your only success will be in delaying the inevitable.’