Lost Love Found (24 page)

Aidan gave her daughter a searching look and said, “Mag probably listened at the bedchamber door when your father came in to reassure herself that everything was all right. You see, she had not known of my captivity in Turkey. Only your father knew, and he feared the shock of knowing what had happened to me might kill her. Mag was told that I was in France and that Conn had joined me there later, that we were being punished by the queen, but would be permitted to return home soon.

“I believe that Conn is your father, Valentina,” Aidan declared. “He believes it, too. I am so sorry that poor Mag’s delirious mutterings distressed you, my child,” Aidan finished.

“Why did you never tell me all of this?” Valentina asked her mother.

“Because it was not necessary, and because I wished to forget all of it. What happened to me almost twenty-three years ago is a painful memory that I have, until today, managed to put from my thoughts.

“You cannot know the agonies I suffered, Valentina! To lose my first child while imprisoned aboard a slave ship! To be paraded naked before strangers! To be told that I should never see my beloved husband again. To be given to another man! Had not Javid Khan been the kind and gentle man he was, had he been like Sultan Murad, I would have died in captivity, I am sure.”

“If you questioned the paternity of your child, Mama, what made you certain suddenly that Papa was indeed my father?” Valentina demanded.

“He was the last of the three to possess me,” Aidan said.

“Perhaps you were with child before Father rescued you,” her daughter countered. “You cannot be sure, can you? Therefore, neither can I!”

“Javid Khan and I made love the night before he was killed,” Aidan told her. “I had just renewed my link with the moon. My cycles were irregular, and had been since I lost my first child. I was in the sultan’s possession only a few weeks, not even a month, and then I was with your father. My link with the moon was not broken in that time, Valentina, but I know that Conn is your father. I
know it
. It can be no other!” Aidan insisted.

“It can be a prince or a sultan, Mama, and you are a fool to believe otherwise!” Valentina lashed out. “God’s foot, but you delude yourself!”

“
Valentina!
” Conn’s voice was sharp. “You will not speak to your mother like that ever again!” Calming his anger, he said, “I believe myself to be your father. Your mother believes it. You bear our name. I have loved you from the moment I knew of your coming. I held you in my arms only minutes after you were born. When I looked into your face and you looked back at me with those wonderful eyes, Valentina, I knew you were my daughter. I gave you my finger and your tiny fist wrapped around it, but it was not only my finger you captured, Valentina, it was my heart.
You are my child
.

“I have loved you. I raised you. Your triumphs have been my triumphs, your sorrows mine. If by some perverse quirk of fate the blood flowing in your veins at your birth was not mine, then it is mine now. You must never doubt it!”

Valentina’s beautiful eyes were filled with tears that overflowed and slid down her pale cheeks. “I love you,” she said, “but I must know who I really am before I will ever know peace again.”

“How can you find out?” Conn asked her gently.

“I must go to Turkey,” replied Valentina, surprising herself, for she had not known she would say such a thing.

“
No
,” moaned Aidan. “Oh, God, no, my dear. Do not even think of it.”

“Sultan Murad is dead, Valentina,” her father told her. “And as Javid Khan is also dead …”

“There must be someone who can help me to know,” Valentina insisted.

“I will die if you go there.” Aidan sobbed.

“I will die if I cannot find out who I really am,” replied her daughter firmly. “Tell me more, Mama. Tell me about Prince Javid Khan and his family. About the sultan. Help me unravel this puzzle, Mama, I beg of you! Look at me! I favor neither you nor Papa, yet all my siblings do. Do I look like any relation that you remember? Tell me, I beg you!” Valentina paused for a moment, and then, taking a deep breath, said, “Do I look like either the prince or the sultan, Mama? Tell me. Surely you remember them well enough to know if there is any resemblance.”

“No! I will tell you nothing more! Conn O’Malley is your father. No other. I will tell you nothing more,” Aidan cried.

“What do you wish to hide from me, Mama? Why can you not speak about these men?” Valentina shouted back. “You tell me I must not go, but you will tell me nothing else. It will not do, Mama. It is not enough. I must know, I must!”

For the next hour, mother and daughter raged back and forth. Their voices carried throughout the house until finally family and servants were gathered in alarm outside Lord Bliss’s library door. It was Padraic Burke who finally had the courage to knock loudly.

Lord Bliss went to the door, roaring at his wife and daughter as he went, “Be silent!” The two women stopped their noise.

“Uncle,” Padraic addressed Conn, “we cannot help but hear. The servants are frightened, and I, frankly, am curious.”

“There is nothing to fear,” Lord Bliss told his servants. “Go about your business now.” He glared at his children, who were standing in the hallway. “Have you nothing better to do than listen at doors?”

“No,” Valentina cried. “Let them come in. Padraic and Tom as well. This matter concerns them, as they both court me. Come in! Come in!” She waved them into the library. The servants went about their business.

“Valentina, do not do this,” her father warned. “Your mother may not—”

“No, Conn. There has been too much hidden. The truth must be known,” Aidan said softly. “It is time my family knew.”

Lord Bliss’s library was filled with his family, his son-in-law, Robert Grayson, his nephew, Lord Burke, and the Earl of Kempe. They looked from Aidan, who sat with her head in her hands, exhausted, to the stony-eyed Valentina.

“Padraic, Tom, this affects you both. Before you learn the story, however, I want to say that you are both freed from any obligation you may believe you have toward me. You are better off seeking wives elsewhere, for Lord Bliss’s eldest daughter may not be his daughter at all.”

For a long moment, they all stared at her, uncomprehending. Finally Valentina’s sister Anne St. Michael Grayson cried, “Valentina! What can you possibly mean?”

Valentina gave her mother a probing look. It was not her story to reveal, but Aidan’s. Would she tell it? Aidan nodded. Gazing at the floor, she told them her history. When she had finished, the room was so silent that the floating of a feather might have been heard as it drifted to the floor.

Then the Earl of Kempe knelt before Aidan and lifted her hand to his lips. “Madam, I salute you,” he said gently. “No Englishman under fire at Cádiz could have been as brave as you were during your trials in Barbary. Be assured that I will not withdraw my suit for your daughter’s hand. The daughter of such a gallant lady is just the kind of wife I want. The kind of mother I desire for my children. If you believe that your husband is her true sire, madam, then I accept your word in the matter. To do anything else would render me less than a gentleman.”

Looking gratefully into Tom Ashburne’s eyes, Aidan said softly, “Thank you, my lord. You are indeed a gentleman, a very fine one, I think.”

“It is you I love, Val,” said Lord Burke, going directly to Lady Barrows, “and, whatever the truth in this matter, it is you I will have. Like Tom, I am content to accept my aunt’s judgment. And besides, Val, you are too stubborn to be anything except an O’Malley, so you must surely be one.”

There was laughter at the remark, and Valentina’s sisters and brothers gathered about her, reassuring her, but she would not be satisfied. “I must go to Turkey,” she said. “Only there can I learn the truth.”

“But,” Aidan put in, “there is no assurance that going there will yield the truth. With both men dead and—”

“It is a chance I must take,” her daughter interrupted.

There was no dissuading her. Conn sent for his elder sister, Skye O’Malley de Marisco, the family matriarch. She came at once, disdaining her coach, and riding across the autumn fields that separated her home, Queen’s Malvern, from Pearroc Royal. Her husband Adam rode beside her.

Skye had always been a beautiful woman, and though she was shortly to celebrate her sixty-first birthday, time had not dimmed her beauty. Neither her face nor her body had aged appreciably after her fortieth year. Her wonderful blue-green eyes, the same color as the water off the Kerry coast, were as alert as ever, and she missed nothing. Her hair was still a silky black but for two silver wings at her temples.

Settling herself comfortably in her brother’s library later that day, she listened as he explained what had happened between Aidan and Valentina. Her gaze went to her beautiful niece and Skye said, “You are determined to go?”

“Aye,” replied Valentina. “I am.”

“Then she must go, of course,” said Skye.

“God’s foot!” shouted Aidan. “Are you mad? You have been in the East, Skye! You know what it’s like!”

“Valentina is of age, Aidan. She is a wealthy widow and has the means to do precisely as she pleases. Oh, you can stop her. You could, for example, lock her in her room until she dies. Or you could force her to the altar and let her husband handle the problem. But she will hate you for it and you know it. If she cannot be content until she goes, then go she must.”

“Thank you, Aunt Skye,” said Valentina gratefully.

“Don’t be too quick with your gratitude, my girl,” said Skye. “There are conditions attached to my acquiescence. As your mother said, I have been in the East. Twice. I know the East only too well. You must heed what I tell you.”

“I am not unreasonable, Aunt. Tell me what to do to ensure my safety. I will do what you say. I am not anxious to end up in some Turk’s harem,” Valentina said.

Skye nodded. “You are Aidan’s daughter for all your O’Malley temper, my girl. Very well, listen to me. You will travel in an O’Malley-Small trading vessel that will be outfitted solely for your expedition. You will bear the cost of that outfitting, Valentina, and for the two ships that travel with it for your protection.” Valentina winced but said nothing. “While at sea, you will obey its captain’s orders. Is that understood?”

“Aye, Aunt.”

“I must speak with the Kira bankers in London. They will be your contacts in Istanbul. But I do not know about the Crimean khanate. I must investigate that,” Skye murmured thoughtfully.

Adam de Marisco smiled at his wife. Since their last voyage to India ten years ago, Skye had remained at home involving herself in their estate, the horses they raised, and their grandchildren. She had been happy, of that Adam was sure, but he had not seen her so interested in a project for a long while. There was a sparkle in her blue-green eyes, and he suspected that she missed all the high adventure and intrigue of her youth, although she never said so.

Suddenly, his stepson spoke.

“Valentina cannot travel alone to such a distant and dangerous place without a protector. I am going with her.”

“An excellent idea, Padraic!” his mother approved. “I had intended mentioning some sort of chaperon, considering where your cousin is going.”

“Ho, my lord! Think you to get ahead of me?” said the earl. “If you go, then I will go also. Another good sword is always welcome when one goes adventuring.”

Skye looked curiously at her son, and then at Tom Ashburne, and then at Valentina, then back to her son. She grinned. “So that’s how it is,” She chuckled. “Well, you are right, my lord. Another good sword is always welcome on such a dangerous venture, but be certain that you and my son remember this: Your common enemy is not each other. Also remember that your reason for accompanying Valentina is to protect her.”

“Madam,” said the earl with a rakish smile, “I have been offering her my protection for months now, but she will not accept it.”

“Ah,” said Skye, chuckling, “if I were twenty years younger, my lord!”

“Madam, ’tis not the twenty years that discourages me,” Tom Ashburne teased. “ ’Tis your husband, who even now is glowering at me.”

“Behave yourself, little girl,” growled Adam, “and remember that you are a grandmother.”

“A grandmother I may be, my lord,” she rejoined with pungent humor, “but I am not yet a corpse!”

They all laughed, and the tension began to lift.

In the next few weeks, careful plans were made for Valentina’s voyage, to begin shortly after the new year. Anne, her husband, and infant son departed for their home. Colin, Payton, and Maggie returned to court, bearing with them a message from Valentina to the queen explaining that there were difficulties that made her immediate return impossible. Valentina promised to see the queen before Twelfth Night.

Aidan was still not happy with her daughter’s decision to go to Turkey. “Why can you not accept my word in this matter?” she asked her daughter. “Why must you deliberately put your life in danger on a whim? You have no assurance of learning anything.”

Valentina tried to reassure her mother. “In our entire family, I do not see my face. Not among my siblings, nor in the family portraits that hang in the picture gallery. I must make every effort to learn what I can.”

Her mother shook her head.

“Tell me of Javid Khan, Mama. What did he look like? And Sultan Murad? I know it is painful, Mama, but help me!”

“If I tell you, will you cease this foolishness?” Aidan asked her daughter desperately.

“I must go!” Valentina said firmly, “even if I return home without learning the truth. I must try. I must find out who my father is if I can.”

Aidan sighed. “Javid Khan was a handsome man. His hair was a tawny blond, perhaps a little lighter than Bevin’s. His eyes were light blue and so compassionate.”

“I thought Tatars were a dark-haired people, Mama.”

“Originally they were,” Aidan replied, “but they have intermarried with others over the centuries. Then, too, Javid Khan’s mother was a Frenchwoman. She had been on her way to marry a duke or a prince in one of those countries far to the east of France. I do not remember which one, Val, for it is a very long time since I’ve thought about this. She was captured by a raiding party of Tatars led by Javid’s father. He took her for a wife, and eventually they were happy.”