Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (27 page)

“I wanted to talk with you in person, so I could get a few things off my chest. It’s been a while since we last spoke to one another, and I’m sure you are expecting some answers as well.”

I nodded my head, agreeing with him, as I sat back in the chair with a cup of tea, inhaling the steam from its hotness.

“I met with Dr. Aimee this morning. Nice lady, by the way, but I was shocked when she called. I know this hasn’t been easy on you, honey, and I’m sorry for that. You and B have been through too much, and right now, I’ll do anything you ask of me in order to get my family back together.”

I had some things I wanted to say but didn’t know where to begin. So I let him talk first, hoping I would get the courage to open up my heart and inform him of the things that had been harboring my mind.

“First, let me start by apologizing. It was selfish of me to not tell you everything from the beginning. Like I said before, I didn’t think there was a chance I could have fathered you, or I would have spoken up sooner. Your mother, Peyton, I mean. She and I went way back. I was older than her by a few years, and her parents hated me. They didn’t want us together and did everything they could to keep us apart. We made promises to be with one another after she graduated but then she took off to law school in Florida, leaving me with no other choice than to move on. That’s when I met Amelia. We started dating and six months later, I proposed. Two years after we said our vows, we had Brody and Brax. Our marriage was good. I’d fallen in love with my wife, and my heartbreak from Peyton began to heal, until she came back in town and contacted me. At that time, everything in my life started to go downhill. I wanted to see Peyton and ask her why she left me the way that she did. I held ill feelings toward the girl for leaving me like that, but when she told me her father made her go away, I knew there was no use in holding a grudge against her. Around that time, my sister, Veronica, had been going through a rough divorce. Brix was only four at the time when she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. I know you were told the story so I won’t go back and repeat myself, but I didn’t want to leave anything out.”

Anthony sat up straight and ran his hand across his beard before taking a drink of his coffee.

I watched his every move. It was hard to study his features without wondering if that was who Brax would look like when he grew older.

Anthony was tall, just like his boys, and had dark brown hair. He had a touch of gray in a few spots, but nothing compared to most men his age. His eyes were hazel and his Italian skin was perfectly tanned even in the winter. My father-in-law was a very attractive man.

My thoughts were interrupted when he set his drink down and coughed before continuing, “Veronica got thrown in jail, Amelia was pregnant with Brayden, and we had the twins. On top of it all, my cousin, Teto, was staying with Amelia and me at the time, after being kicked out of my aunt’s house. He was only supposed to be with us for a couple of weeks, while he waited on the results of his ASVAB test, however he got all drunk one night and smoked some pot, screwing up his chances for going into the military. It was a lot to handle only being in our early twenties, especially when I received guardianship over my nephew. That’s when Amelia and I started fighting, and I ended up wanting to leave my marriage. I worked hard for my family, not wanting them to go without, but the fighting wasn’t something I could handle. I’d never been good with confrontation. You know that. One night after work, I got a hold of Peyton and asked her to meet with me so we could talk. It was then that I realized that we weren’t right for each other; nevertheless, there was still this spark. I can’t explain it, Jazz, other than we were attracted to one another, except I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. I knew the one thing we had together was gone, and yet I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t let her go.”

“I went home that same night and told Amelia I had to leave. That we couldn’t be together anymore. I packed some clothes, grabbed my toiletries and left, not giving my wife more of an explanation. Peyton and I spent a few nights together and then it was over. I felt guilty, to the point that it made me sick, and begged my wife to take me back. Sometime later, Teto stopped coming home at night. I was concerned, driving around all hours looking for him. That’s when I saw the two of them together.”

This had to be hard on Anthony. All of these years living with secret after secret, I didn’t know how he had done it.

“I know it was wrong of me to be upset, but I couldn’t help it. Teto was my cousin. We had been close all our lives. He could have chosen someone else, but he didn’t. He went right after the girl I planned on marrying and hurt me like never before. So I went over to her house. I was fed up and needed answers. I had to know who she chose. Then one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together one last time.”

Anthony looked down at the table. “I was a sorry sonvabitch for going behind Amelia’s back the way that I did. It was wrong of me. But after that night, I promised myself never again. Call me crazy, Jazz, but I was just a kid. I was living in an adult world, needing to stake my claim on a girl who didn’t want me, and yet I had a wife and kids at home wondering where their daddy was and I failed them.”

I was in shock. I guess a part of me never took a step back and thought about Anthony’s feelings regarding this entire situation. All I felt was hurt because of the secrets and lies.

“Last I’d heard Teto and Peyton ran off together. I wasn’t happy for ‘em, but I knew it was time to stay focused on my own family and not turn back to them ever again.”

He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. “I’m sorry, honey. Your mother was my weakness. Can I tell you that I regret being with her? Absolutely not. I loved that girl more than anything in this world. Had her daddy not kept us apart, I would have married her a long time ago. But God had different plans, I suppose.”

I moved my hand back and wiped the tears falling down my cheeks. My heart broke for Anthony. He loved my mom. It might sound foolish, but I was thankful she had someone who loved her as much as I loved my husband. I only prayed Teto was my father. I missed Brax more than anything in this world. I needed my family back together. I had been away from Savanah far too long.

“Do you…is there a chance you can…you could be my biological father?” I asked between each sob.

“I don’t believe so. That’s why I didn’t say something sooner. The timing didn’t add up. And from what Dr. Aimee told me, your father left the hospital after Peyton died. If it wasn’t me, then it had to be my cousin. I was at work that day. But I went ahead and did the mouth swab this morning, so my part would be done regardless. Either way we will find out the truth shortly.”

I covered my face trying the best I could to keep my sobs at bay, however the relief I was feeling was unbelievable. If everything worked out and if Brax would have me, I could go home and be with my loved ones very soon.

After tomorrow, everything would change. The truth would be in front of me no matter what. I felt more at peace than I have in over three months. This was a start to a new beginning regardless.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Brax

I hopped in the shower then cleaned up the house. I missed my morning appointment at the shop again. By now, there was no use in going in. The house was a hot fucking mess. Broken pieces of drywall all over the floor, pictures of my family scattered across the carpet and on the bed, dishes piled up in the sink. Thank fuck my wife wasn’t home to see this shit. Jazz would have had my ass.

When I was finished cleaning, I packed my bag for the gym and locked the house up behind me. As I walked out to my truck, Ma’s car pulled in, parking behind me. Today, of all days, why did everyone feel the need to stop by here? I just wanted to clear my head and be alone for a while. Was that too much to ask?

Ma got out of her car, making her way over toward me. As I turned around, I noticed she had been crying.

“What’s wrong?” I opened the cab and threw my bag in the back. I just had a good talk with dad, he never mentioned Ma being upset.

Oh shit
.

“Where’s the baby?” I started to freak out.

Ma reached up under her glasses, wiping her eyes. “Tanya’s got her. She stopped over this morning.”

I released a hard breath. If something happened to my little girl, I would fucking lose it. There was no doubt about it.

Ma stepped to the side, looking inside my truck and then turned back to face me. “Are you going somewhere? I can come back another time. I probably should have called, anyway.”

 I reached out my arm, pulling her to my chest. “Hey.” I kissed the top of her head. “You’re here now. Let’s go inside and talk.”

I shut the truck door and walked her into the house. Ma sat down on the couch, dropping her purse on the floor.

“You want something to drink?” I asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

Ma never showed up unannounced like this, and she sure as shit didn’t just leave Savanah to go somewhere. Those two were glued to each other. Every chance Ma got with my daughter, she took, no questions asked. They were inseparable.

“No, I’m okay,” she replied. “I won’t be long. I just came by to talk.”

I sat down beside her, pulling my leg under the other. Ma turned on the couch so we were facing each other.

“Tell me what’s wrong. I’m worried about you.”

She gave me that beautiful smile of hers and a sense of peace washed over me. Maybe this talk wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“I understand your father was supposed to stop by here this morning?”

“Yeah, he came over around nine.”

“Good. I knew he was leery about meeting with Jazz’s doctor, but I encouraged him to go on and get it over with. He needed to man up for his actions to that poor girl.”

“Why didn’t you go with him? All of this has to do with you too, you know.”

“I know. But it’s not that easy, B. I forgave your father years ago, but it’s still hard reliving. That was a trying time at one point in our lives. One I don’t care to relive.”

I understood completely. I couldn’t imagine what my parents had to face. Hearing about it was more than enough to deal with.

“I won’t keep you; I just need to know that you’re okay. I’ve been worried about you.”

She didn’t come here worried about me. I may be a lot of things, but I was far from stupid.

“I’m good,” I promised. “But I’m more concerned about you. Tell me what’s really bothering you, Ma. No bullshitting me, either. I know when something’s wrong.”

She chuckled, knowing I was right.

“You were never dumb, B.”

“Then let me help you.”

She looked across the room, staring into space. I didn’t bother searching to see what she was looking at, I knew the woman sometimes better than she knew herself. This was her way of clearing her mind before she spoke. As a kid, when I was in trouble, she had done this countless times.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m really okay. But a part of me is scared. If Anthony is Jazz’s biological father, I don’t know what I’m going to do. You’ll be tore up, your marriage will be done for good, and I’m pretty sure the years Dad and I spent rebuilding our relationship will finally be over. I won’t dare stay with him if I find out he went behind my back and lied again, even if it was years ago. It’ll eat at me like there’s no tomorrow.”

I was at a loss for words. All morning I tried to remain optimistic about the results. It was another reason why I cleaned the house, needing to focus on something other than losing my wife for good. And not once did I sit back and realize what this would do to my parents if my dad was Jazz’s biological father when, in fact, it could be far worse than I ever imagined.

“We’ve had this talk, son. Your father agreed, promising I had nothing to worry about, however my heart says otherwise.”

“Why? Do you really think he could be the one?” I asked, praying she said no.

“I’m not positive, but I feel it in my heart. Maybe it’s because of the emotional tie Peyton and your father had. It was a rare kind of love even I couldn’t compete with, but who knows? It’s just been eating me up since you left yesterday and I don’t know what to do. I can’t sit still and enjoy my grandbaby, fearful that she’ll be taken away from me. God forbid, if we get the answers we don’t want, I need you to promise me something.”

I laid my hand over the top of hers, resting on her knee. “I promise. Whatever you need, you know I will do.”

“Then promise me you won’t let Jazz take Savanah away from me. It’ll destroy me, B. It’ll wreck me unlike anything else in this world. I won’t be able to live without that little girl in my life. She means so much to me. It’s not something I expect you to understand since she’s not my child, but I need you to at least hear me out. A mother will always love her children, there’s no question about it, but a grandma’s love is ten times more powerful when we’re holding our baby’s baby in our arms.”

My heart dropped from my chest, my body tensing at her words. I wouldn’t take my daughter away from anyone, especially Ma. But hearing her say that to me, listening to her throw out the reality of it all, scared the ever living shit out of me.

I shifted around, pulling my leg out from under me, resting my elbows on my knees. I covered my face, releasing a cry I had never heard come from my mouth before. Ma wrapped her fragile arms around my shoulders, pulling me back on the couch. And just like a child who had just gotten in trouble, I sobbed into her chest.

“Shhh…I got you, son,” she whispered in my ear. “I got you.”

Ma took the time, gently rubbing my head, allowing me to cry.

My mind was a mess. Hell would freeze over before Jazz took our daughter away. I couldn’t fathom the idea of my wife being that cruel. But then again, I didn’t even know who Jazz was anymore. The girl I married would have never run off like this. She would have held onto me for dear life, insisting I never leave her side.