Lost Wishes (16 page)

I flick the lights off, take my yoga pants off, and crawl into the bed, nudging Fallon over. I adjust the pillow beneath my head, lie flat on my back, and gaze into the darkness.

Unsure of what tomorrow is going to bring, I’m thankful that Fallon is here with me now. I don’t know what’s going to happen when he’s sober and remembers tonight. It could take him right over the edge. I could lose what little part I might have of him forever. I’m not sure he’ll ever be able to come back from knowing the truth. I know it was an accident. I’m sure Hope did, too.  But will Fallon ever see it that way. Will he ever accept it?

The sheets pull from my legs as he rolls over. His arm slips around my waist, and he rests his head on my chest. My hand lowers to his head, my fingers feathering lightly through his hair.

 “Hope,” he rasps. “God, I’m sorry, Hope.” His arm tightens around me.           

“Shh, it’s okay, Fallon. Go back to sleep,” I quietly say, accepting that he’s drunk and he thinks that I’m Hope. I’m good with it. I’d do anything to help him get through all this. I’ll be whoever he needs me to be right now.

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t ever leave me again,” he says.

I swallow hard. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His head lifts, he peers up at me from hooded eyes. I’m not sure if he’s really seeing me. “I promise I’ll never hurt you again.”

“Oh,” I palm his face, there’s so much guilt in his expression, “I know, baby.”

He moves forward, his lips find mine and he kisses me; a slow, passionate, long, and tender kiss. “God,” his mouth breaks from mine. “I need you.” His hand moves to my shoulder, and he fumbles to pull the strap of my cami down until my breast pops free. His lips latch onto my nipple, and he makes sweet love to it with his warm tongue. My body arches as I grip his head, holding him there, urging for more. His hand yanks the other strap from my shoulder, freeing my covered breast so his mouth can sway on over and give that nipple some love, too.

“Fallon,” I huskily say, knowing deep in my belly that this is wrong, letting him think that I’m Hope, but I can’t stop myself. I am that desperate for his touch. “Yes,” I hiss as his teeth sink into my hard bead.

He bites my nipple then licks the pain away. His hip presses against my thigh. The impression of his erection travels from my skin to my brain, and my entire body flushes with heat, with need, and desire. His palm runs over my belly. His hand slides into my panties, and a thick finger thrusts deep inside of me. I toss my head back. “Oh! God! Yes!”

“Shiiittt,” he slurs, “you feel like heaven.” He trails wet kisses up my neck. “Sweet fucking heaven and I can’t wait to get in here,” his finger slips out from my wet folds as they cling for him to stay, to keep him from leaving. He strokes my sensitive lower lips before giving my body what it needs, before thrusting back in deep. “Fuck, babe.”

He moves downward, dragging my panties from my thriving body. He throws them off the bed. Positioning himself between my legs, he grips my thighs and spreads me open. “I gotta get inside of you. I need to feel that heaven. I need to be a part of it.” He reaches down, pulls his cock from his boxers, and enters me. His hot, hard flesh glides along mine, our bodies uniting and molding into one. And I feel that heaven he’s speaking of, I feel it all through me.

I reach up and wrap my arms around. “I need you too, Fallon. Oh, how I need you,” I say as he pushes deeper inside.

“Fuck,” he breathes hard, those sparkling hazel gems glowing down upon me. He presses his lips together like he’s trying to hold something in as they move closer to my mouth. “Fuck, I love you,” he says. My heart stops beating and tears well up in my eyes. I know he’s drunk and that he thinks he’s talking to his dead wife, but every part of me wishes it was me he was seeing, me that he loved.

And, I can’t stop myself. “I love you, too, baby.”

His hips move back, every ridge, every blessed inch of him, slowly slips from me. “Never again, babe,” he crushes his chest to mine, gathering me into his arms. He pumps back inside, whispering into my ear, “I’m not gonna let you go. Not ever again. You are mine.”

“I am yours,” I breathlessly say, knowing wholeheartedly it is the truth. I will love Fallon O’Conner just as his wife had until I take my very last breath.  He’s the kind of man that when you finally fall, you’re down for good, and there’s no getting back up. Your heart belongs to him forever.

Chapter Twenty-One

FALLON

I slouch back in the chair, cross my ankles, and clasp my hands together in my lap. I hate fucking hospitals. I stare at the small, frail body lying in the bed. Fuck. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. My head is pounding. I hate fucking hangovers, too. I vaguely recall the drive to the marina to get to my boat, and the ride in my boat to Avalon, but it’s all a blur. Tried to hydrate myself, took a few aspirin, but this fucking headache won’t let up.

I felt bad leaving Katie a note, but I didn’t want to wake her. She looked like an angel all snuggled up in that bed. Hell, she is an angel, my angel. All that shit that went down last night. Fuck, I don’t want to think about it. I wanted to curl into a ball on the ground and die. Then, she showed up. Man, when I saw her something snapped inside of me. It made me reach out for her, and when I touched her, I knew that I couldn’t give into the darkness. Instead, I headed toward the light—her bright, beautiful, shining light.

Seeing Joey, that son of a bitch, and finding out what he did for me, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that shit. I get guilt. Understand it all too well. But to go away for three years for a crime he didn’t commit, I could strangle that fucker for not telling me the truth. Still, a part of me knows he’s right. Had I known the truth back then, it would have destroyed what little sanity I was grasping onto and I needed that sanity. It helped me survive Hope’s last days.

I had a lot of time to think during the ride from Katie’s back to Avalon. And I realized if I hadn’t had Katie last night, things wouldn’t be as they are now. I wouldn’t have been able to pull it together long enough to get here for Twigs.

“Hey, Boatman.” I hear her sweet voice and glance up with a small smile. “You look like poop.” Her little nose scrunches.

“Thanks, kid,” I say, my smile growing bigger as I lean forward.

Twigs glances around the room. “Where’s Jenna?”

“Sent her home when I got here; she looked like poop, too,” I chuckle. It feels good. Seeing Twigs finally awake and smiling, that shit feels good, too. The kid had me worried.  “She’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah…” Twigs’ smile wanes. “I don’t like the seizures; they scare her real bad.”

“Doc says you’re doing better. Your sugars are closer to normal.”

She looks around, again.  “Katie didn’t come with you?”

I shake my head, noticing the disappointment in the little girl’s eyes.

She grimaces. “I like her.”

“So do I.”

“Oh, yeah?” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Did you tell her that you like her?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I let her know how I felt last night,” I say, most of the night a drunken blur, but saying those three words, I love you, yeah, that shit’s crystal clear in my head. It’s gotta be love. And, sure, I haven’t known the woman but a few weeks, but I knew it with Hope the moment I set my eyes on her. Katie, it took a few more looks, but I always felt the girl was gonna be nothing but trouble when it came to my heart.

Twigs peers up at me. “Well, you got one down, just two left to go.”

“Two what?”

She sits up on the bed, pushing her braid back over her shoulder. “Remember that day I came to see Hope at your house?”

“Yeah, you scared Jenna somethin’ bad then, too.”

“Jenna’s tough,” she says, readjusting the baggy hospital gown, “but,” she picks at the sheet, “anyways, that day I came to your house when I was lying in the bed with Hope, she asked me to make her a promise.” She looks up at me, and I curiously tilt my head. “She asked me to keep an eye on you until you granted all of her wishes. Oh, yeah,” she says, nodding her head, “I know about the wishes.” She shrugs. “Figured maybe you lost them, forgot ‘em or something. So,” she smiles, “I’m here to remind you, and the way I see it, you found someone to love, ya already got one wish down, Boatman. The other two should be easy for ya. And I’m not going anywhere till you honor Hope’s other two wishes. You gotta move on and ya gotta be happy.”

I stare at her. “She told you about them?”

“Yep,” she smiles, “and you’re not getting rid of me until you give Hope what she wanted.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t wanna get rid of you, kid.” I smile, drifting back to that day when Hope told me her wishes. She tried to change the rules, asking for not one, but all three granted. Thinking back, in my heart, I never thought that I’d be able to fulfill any of them. But meeting Katie, now it almost seems possible. I look up at Twigs. God, Hope loved her, said she hoped our child was just as great as Twigs. “Doesn’t mean you’re not a pain in my ass,” I smirk at the little girl who has always been there for me, “but I do kinda like havin’ you around.”

“Yeah, well, it ain’t been easy for me, either. Hope warned me that you’d be a pain in the butt, too.” She grins. “Ya know she really loved you. She told me not to give up on you, and that if I looked hard enough that I’d see that ‘little special’ in you, too. She said nothin’, not even the accident, could take that ‘little special’ from you. She did say though that your guilt and anger, it might try to hide it. And if I ever thought you needed to hear it then she wanted me to tell you that she forgives you and that if you ever loved her then you need to forgive yourself, too. That’s it, Boatman,” she claps her hands together. “I guess that’d be her final wish, for you to forgive yourself. Think you can do that?” She gazes up at me, lifting a tiny eyebrow. “Can you grant that last wish for Hope? Or are you gonna lose that one, too?”

I laugh, shaking my head.

“Hey,” I hear Katie’s voice and I glance over my shoulder. She’s standing like an angel in a white sundress in the doorway. Deep inside I feel her, feel the love I have for her, and I smile, knowing Hope might just get all of those damn wishes after all.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Katie

He left a note. A fucking note!

Sorry, emergency came up, had to head back to Avalon. Will call later. Fallon

After last night, really, does he think I’m going to sit around and wait for him to call? Oh, hell no! I toss the letter back on the counter. I call in sick for work, first time in forever, take a quick shower, and I’m out the door. Glad Joey and Sadie were nice enough to bring my car home for me as if Sadie knew Fallon was going to do this—run and leave me stranded. Damn him!

I drive to the shore and grab a charter boat out to the Island. I’m standing at his door, pounding on it. “Fallon!”

“He’s not home.” I turn around to find an elderly man standing on the sidewalk.

“Do you know where he is,” I ask, starting down the steps.

“I saw him at the hospital earlier when I was visiting my wife. He was there to see Emily,” the man says.

Confused, I gaze at him. “Emily?”

“You know, that little girl in the braids who’s always hanging around here, Emily.”

“Twigs,” I gasp, “is she okay?”

He shrugs. “Sorry, miss, I couldn’t tell you.”

“Where’s the hospital?”

“About three miles from here.” He folds the paper in his hand and wedges it between his side and arm.

“Shit,” I bite my lip.

“I’m going to head over to see my wife, you want me to give you a lift?”

“Oh, would you?”

“Sure, just let me lock up the house.”

“Thank you.” I smile, my stomach doing flips concerned about Twigs. I hope she’s okay. Oh, and poor Fallon. I don’t think he could handle it if something happened to her, not after last night. God. I need to get to him.

It takes only a few minutes to get to the hospital. The nice gentleman, Mr. Brooks, shows me to Twigs’ room. I stand in the doorway. Twigs is sitting up on the bed smiling down at Fallon, and my relief, like a sponge, sucks the worry from me.

“Hey,” I say walking into the room, glancing at Fallon. Damn, since his haircut, I get a full view of those stunning eyes. And today, they’re red, and puffy. He looks so tired. I shift my eyes back to Twigs. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just another attack, but I’m all better now,” she beams up at me.

“Oh, good,” I sigh, and Fallon gets up offering me his chair. “No, I’m all right,” I say, knowing that he needs it more than I do. The past twenty-four hours had to have been exhausting. My shoulders relax a little. Twigs is okay, and Fallon, although a bit disheveled, appears okay, too. Thank God!

“Katie, sit down.” He points to the chair, moving to the side, shoving a hand into the front pocket of his jeans.

“Thanks.” I decide not to argue and take the seat. “So,” I look at them both, landing on Twigs, “you had another attack?”

Twigs nods her head. “It caused a seizure, and I passed out. When that happens, I’m not awake so it makes it kinda hard to get any sugar in me. Happened at the store, the lady who works there called 911.”

“Oh, honey,” I say, my heart going out to this strong little girl.

 “It came on real fast,” she hefts her tiny shoulder, “didn’t even know it was happening. Really, Katie, it’s okay. I don’t even remember any of it.”

“Well, you look better,” Jenna says from the doorway. Her eyes move to Fallon. Her face softens. She walks over and throws her arms around him. “Thank you!” Twigs and I watch Jenna squeeze the life out of Fallon, before she pulls back, giving him a huge kiss on the cheek. She turns and smiles at Twigs. “Did he tell you?”

Twigs shakes her head, her tiny eyebrows coming together.

“Fallon took care of the copay for your pump,” Jenna joyfully says.

Twigs eyes pop open wide. “I’m getting the pump!”

Fallon smiles at Twigs. She jumps out of the bed, and she too throws her arms around him. The love between the two couldn’t be more apparent. And my heart swells. Fallon does have the ability to love. And I’m not sure what they’re talking about, but whatever it is I get the sense it will help Twigs.