Lost World (24 page)

I blink when it hits me that those sticks are bones. “What?”

“It’s common among some species, especially when faced with the prospect of starvation. The mother can always have more offspring if she lives.”

Angus spits and I shiver, but for once it has nothing to do with his gross habit.

“That’s disturbing,” I whisper.

“They’re animals,” Angus grumbles. “Get over it.”

“We need to look for a trailer,” Brady says, turning away. “Let’s check the rest of the barn out. See if anything else made it.”

We don’t find any other animals alive, but when we reach the last pen, the door leading outside is open and there are hoof prints in the fresh snow. I step into the pen, being careful to avoid the chunks of animal poop covering the ground, then squint out into the falling snow. I can just make out a dark shape in the stark whiteness. A cow, maybe?

“I see one!” I say, walking out into the storm.

Axl comes out beside me, and we head toward the animal. The closer we get, the more clearly I can see the thing. It is a cow. White with black spots, of course. The thing is just standing there, shoving its nose into the snow. I hope it’s a female.

“Let’s get her inside!” I yell over the howling wind.

Axl nods just as the animal looks up. I expect her to head the other way, but she walks toward us instead. Maybe she misses people? She’s probably used to seeing the farmer bring her food and sees us as her chance to eat.

Axl and I walk backward, and the cow follows, chewing as she heads our way. Something moves to my right, and I turn to find a second one coming toward us, and another beyond that. Three cows! It’s like we found a pot of gold.

We make it back inside to find Brady and Angus arguing. I roll my eyes and keep moving. Out of the pen and toward the door. The cows follow like we’re playing a game.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” Axl snaps, stopping next to his brother.

“Found us a trailer and it’s already hooked up,” Brady says, turning away from Angus.

Who knows what they were fighting about, and who cares. They’re like children.

We manage to get the cows loaded onto the trailer with almost no effort. The pig is another thing, though. It gets up when we open the gate but barely moves. Maybe it’s sick. Who knows how many babies it ate and how long ago. We end up having to push it across the barn and onto the truck, and even though it doesn’t help us a whole lot, it doesn’t put up much of a fight either.

“Much as I’d like to check out a couple more places, I’m thinkin’ we should head back,” Axl says once the animals are loaded into the trailer. “Weather’s just too bad.”

“I agree,” Brady replies, making Angus rolls his eyes and grumble about how it doesn’t matter what
tiny
thinks.

Axl shakes his head as he walks toward the driver’s side of the SUV.

“I’ll drive the truck,” Angus says, heading toward the trailer.

I look back and forth between him and Brady, knowing I don’t have a choice. Those two aren’t going to want to be crammed together in a vehicle and Angus shouldn’t go alone. I sigh and follow Angus, shooting Brady a look. He’s going to owe me for this.

Angus grins when I settle into the passenger seat. “You lookin’ for a good time?”

“Get real, Angus.”

He chuckles. “You know I’m just messin’ with you. I like gettin’ under your skin.”

“You’re good at it.”

“Oh, I know.” He flashes me another smile before putting the truck in gear.

We’re silent as we follow Axl through the snow. The wind blows so hard that the trailer behind us whips back and forth. Angus’s hands tighten on the steering wheel as he struggles to keep it on the road, and I twist the seatbelt around my hand.

“We got lucky,” I say, “finding those animals.”

“Sure did. Gonna hafta turn another one of them garages into a barn, but it don’t matter none.”

He’s right. There’s no reason we’d really need a garage, and the animals are more important. The pig alone will feed us for a few days, assuming we can figure out how to butcher the thing. I’d be willing to bet Angus and Axl could do it, though. They’ve done enough hunting.

“Three cows is good, especially since two are female. That means we’ll have milk. The fact that one of them is a male means we could have more cows down the road, too.”

“They call it a bull,” Angus says, leaning toward the window.

I turn my whole body to face him, frowning. “How do you know that?”

“Worked at a farm one summer, back in my twenties.”

“Why’d you quit?”

Angus flashes me a grin and I immediately regret asking. “Got caught screwin’ in the barn instead of workin’.”

“Good Lord, Angus.”

He chuckles as he focuses on the road. In front of us, the brake lights for the SUV are just visible through the thick flakes.

17

IN THE MORNING THE STREETS OF Millersville are just as overrun as they were the night before. Which means we aren’t going to be able to look around for any clues left by Axl and the others.

I sit on the couch in the living room next to Jon, trying to figure out what to do. How to find them. Trying not to think about the fact that I might never see Vivian again. Gretchen is across from me in a worn recliner, but none of us says a word. Slowly, the room gets brighter as the sun rises, breaking through the gray clouds and lighting up the world.

My arms are crossed over my chest and I can’t stop bouncing my leg. With each passing second, I can feel our friends slipping further away, and it’s turning me into a giant ball of nerves. All I can think about is the bullshit I pulled with Axl before I left and how angry Vivian must be with me, and the thought of leaving things like that is worse than the idea of being ripped apart by the dead.

“How the hell are we supposed to figure out where they went?” I mumble, staring at the brown, speckled carpet.

“We could cut through the woods, go to the other side of town and see if it’s possible to follow their tracks,” Jon says.

My body aches just from the thought of more walking, but he’s right. It’s our best shot of finding them. “I don’t think we have any other choice.”

I tear my eyes away from the floor and meet Gretchen’s gaze. Her blue eyes are big and round as she quietly takes in everything we’re saying like she’s trying to decide what to do. We can’t leave her behind.

“What about you, Gretchen?” I ask, “Do you want to come with us?”

She licks her lip nervously, slowly shaking her head. “I-I don’t know.”

“You can’t be alone,” Jon says. “It isn’t safe out there for a teenage girl by herself. If you knew some of the people we’ve run into…”

His words trail off, and my back stiffens. Thoughts of Vegas and that man and what he did to me come back, making my stomach harden and churn. Gretchen’s eyes meet mine again, and I want to look away. I’m afraid she’ll be able to see inside me. Know what happened. But I hold her gaze, because as much as it scares the shit out of me, she needs to see it. To understand how dangerous this new world is.

“There’s a town,” she says slowly, still looking at me. “I’ve run into a few people who told me about it, they heard about it from others. It’s where I was headed. I don’t know if it’s real or if it’s just a figment of someone’s imagination, but I figured it’s worth a shot.”

“What town?” Jon asks, drawing Gretchen’s attention his way and off me. Finally.

“It’s north of here. Someone said it was called Hope, and another person said Hope Springs. I don’t know if it’s a real name or something they’ve renamed it, but I heard it’s safe.”

I shake my head because what she’s saying doesn’t make sense. “Safe? How can it be safe?”

“People are clearing it out, cleaning it up. Trying to make it safe so they can start over. That’s what I heard, anyway.”

“I don’t know…” Jon grabs his pack off the ground. He pulls out a map and spreads it across the table. “Here was the hot spring, and here’s Millersville.” He runs his finger across the map and I lean closer, trying to get a good look. He stops on a dot and taps the paper. “Hope Springs. It’s real.”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” I say, sitting back. “It has to be an urban legend or someone’s wishful thinking.”

“Who told you about it?” Jon asks.

Gretchen pulls at the sleeve of her parka. “I ran into one group who was on the way there, but they’d had to stop because an old lady who was traveling with them got sick. They asked me to stay, but I didn’t like the idea of being with strangers. Plus, I thought they might be crazy when they told me about the town. But a couple days later, I ran into another group who told me the same story. Only they said they ran into a group of men who were out looking for supplies. The men had a big truck, the kind the army uses. The men told the group they had a safe place and offered to take them to it, but no one believed it. They said it was called Hope Springs.”

Jon turns to face me, and when our eyes meet I can see his optimism so clearly it’s like another color mixed in with the greens and browns of his irises. “It’s that college town we were avoiding. I knew the name sounded familiar when Gretchen said it, but I couldn’t remember why. We’ve looked at so many damn maps over the last few weeks. It’s only about forty miles from here.”

Forty miles feels like an insurmountable distance when you don’t have a car. Or food. Plus, it seems like a fool’s errand. Running off to find a city that’s safe from the dead. I don’t buy it.

“Are you saying you believe it?” I ask, narrowing my eyes on Jon’s face. “That you want to go?”

“I’m saying we don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“But we also don’t have a vehicle or supplies and we haven’t eaten in days. Jon! What are you thinking? This sounds like a horrible idea. And it doesn’t even sound real! Think of all the places we’ve passed over the last few weeks. Have any of them come even close to looking safe? No, because it isn’t possible.”

Jon runs his hand through his hair and exhales like he’s trying to keep his cool. “Are you telling me you don’t have any hope left at all?”

“I’m telling you I think we’re biding our time until the end. It’s what I’ve thought ever since I was dragged through the front door of the Monte Carlo.”

I stand up and stomp out of the room like a child. That’s how I feel, too. Young and lost and disappointed that everything didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. That there is no happily-ever-after ending.

I feel like I’ve been lied to my whole life.

I’m in the kitchen leaning against the counter for support when Jon walks in. He stops in front of me and lets out a breath so deep it feels like it should fill the whole room.

“I have so much anger inside me,” I say, focusing on the ugly blue Formica countertops. “So much pain. Sometimes, it feels like it’s going to rip me in half.”

“Is it directed at me? I know I took you there, so I wouldn’t blame you if it was.”

I shake my head, and it’s the truth. I’ve never held Jon responsible for what happened, as crazy as it sounds. Maybe it’s because I met Megan and saw firsthand how damaged she was. Or maybe it’s because I had a brother and I think he would have done the same thing to save me.

“I don’t know who I’m mad at, and maybe that’s part of the problem. But it isn’t you. I won’t deny that there have been times when you’ve annoyed the hell out of me, but it wasn’t because of that.”

Jon takes a step closer. He puts his hands on my hips and turns me to face him, forcing me to look up. “I have to keep you safe. I owe it to you for so many reasons. Because I took you to the Monte Carlo, because I didn’t have a plan to get you out before you got hurt, because you’re carrying my baby. Most of all, because I love you, and I can’t stand the thought of losing someone else I love.”

My throat tightens as a sob tries to rip its way out of me. I love every word he just said. I love that he took responsibility even though I don’t blame him and he didn’t have to. I love that he claims this life growing inside me as his own even though we both know it probably isn’t his. I love that he loves me so much it hurts to think about losing me.

And there’s a very good chance I’m starting to fall in love with Jon.

I rest my forehead against his chest and close my eyes and inhale until my lungs threaten to burst. Then I let it all go. “So we head for Hope Springs.”

“We head for Hope Springs.”

“We’re going to need to find a car and some supplies. Food especially.”

“I will do my best. If we can’t find them, I will carry you myself and go out hunting for every meal. I promise I will kill so many animals you’ll get fat and beg me to stop, but I won’t because I want you to be round and healthy and live a long, long time.”

I laugh through the tears streaming down my face. “It’s a deal.”

Jon tilts my face up and brushes the tears from my cheeks. Then he presses his lips to mine. His mouth is warm and comfortable, and my insides tingle like we’re teenagers stealing our first kiss. And in a lot of ways, it is our first kiss.

The moans of the dead can be heard all the way into the woods, which keeps me on edge. Every time a branch crunches under our feet as we pick our way through the forest my heart beats harder, but there’s nothing we can do to avoid them. The snow covering the ground makes it impossible to see where we’re stepping, which means every other time I put my foot down, I stumble or step on a branch that cracks under my weight.

We manage to make it past Millersville without incident but stick to the forest until the houses behind us are no longer visible. Then Jon veers to the left, heading for the road. When we get to the edge of the trees, he holds his hand up so Gretchen and I stop, then takes a good look around.

“It’s clear,” he whispers. “At least from what I can see. Stay quiet, and if I signal for you to go back into the woods, move fast.”

Gretchen and I nod, but we’re both too tense to talk. Jon takes a step out of the trees, and I’m right behind him. Gretchen stays on my heels. When we’re free of the cover of the woods, I take a good look around. There’s no sign of the dead. The town is pretty far away, so it’s doubtful they’d be able to see or hear us. We seem to be in the clear.

I stop next to the road and stare down at the tire tracks cutting through the white blanket of snow covering the asphalt. They’re from the truck and at least one other car. “So we follow the tracks or head to Hope Springs?”

“Head to Hope,” Gretchen says.

I turn to face Jon. “We can’t just walk away from them.”

“We stick to the road for a bit, see if we can figure out where they’re headed. Then we head to Hope.”

Gretchen shakes her head, her eyes growing wide. “No. I don’t want to stay by the road. It isn’t safe.”

“If we hear someone coming we’ll hide,” I say. “We’ve been walking on the road for the past two days. It’s been fine.”

Gretchen sets her jaw, which makes her look like an obstinate kid, not a girl who’s singlehandedly managed to keep herself alive in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. “It’s a bad idea.”

“We have to try and find our friends,” I say, struggling to keep the desperation out of my voice.

“They aren’t looking for you!” Gretchen’s words echo through the silence and slam into me so hard it feels like I’ve been slapped.

She’s wrong. I know she is. They have to be looking for us. There’s no way they’d just assume we were dead and walk away. They even left a note for us at the hot spring.