Lottery (15 page)

That is what I want to be most of all. A businessman.

21

On Wednesday morning, John comes over to my apartment.

"I tried to call. Your phone is busy. It must be off the hook,” he says. His eyes move around like he is looking for something he lost.

“No, that was Franklin. He says I can call him Frank,” I explain.

“Frank? Who the hell’s Frank?” he asks.

“I don’t know. He says he’s a friend of Elaine’s,” I say.

Frank has a deep voice and says he is worried about me. He says he is my friend too, but I have never seen him. I am not sure you can be friends with someone you have never seen. Besides, he is not on my list.

“What does he want?” John asks.

“To help me with the money. To give me advice.”

“You don’t need a stranger’s help. You don’t need their advice. That’s what David and I are here for,” he says.

John, David, and Frank all want to help me with my money. Everybody wants to help me with the money.

John’s gray coat is wet from the rain and drips all over my floor. He turns his head to look behind like he thinks someone is following.

“We’re just trying to help you, Perry. You need to keep us in the loop,” he says.

I do not know what
in the loop
means. I stare at his feet. They are bigger than mine.

“Where’s your fat friend, Keith?” He peels off his black gloves one at a time. John looks just like Batman except he does not have a mask and I know his car is brown.

“He’s not fat. Those are stomach muscles and he had to go to the vet hospital,” I say.

Keith is a vet, which is not like a dog doctor. It has to do with the army, Vietnam, and a guy called Agent Orange, which I think is a spy.

My dryer buzzes and John jumps, then looks around.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“My laundry.”

“Where’s your boss?”

“He’s downstairs working the register.”

“Where’s your bank statement? I’d like to help with your accounting, check your numbers.” John is already shuffling through papers on my kitchen counter. He holds something up. “Are these all your papers? You have anything else?”

“It’s not nice to look at other people’s stuff,” I say, but he ignores me.

“What happened? Has Elaine been over here helping you? Where’s the rest? You seem to have spent a great deal of money already. What’s going on, Perry?” His voice gets louder, then he suddenly stops and takes a deep breath. “I’m just trying to watch out for you. To help you. We’re all concerned about you.” He is speaking softly. Like he is singing.

Maybe he really wants to help me now.

I try to think.

I rock back and forth on the sofa. It is almost time for
Judge Judy.
I already missed
Gilligan’s Island.
I wonder when he will leave.

“Perry, what have you done?” John brings a kitchen chair over and plops down. He will not sit on Gram’s couch. He says it smells like cat pee. It does not. Gram did not have a cat. He puts a hand on my shoulder. It is heavy. One of his fingernails is so short is has blood on the end.

“Investments,” I tell him, and cover my ears, but he does not yell and this surprises me. Instead, he takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly. Like a balloon. He looks at his bloody finger.

“You want a Band-Aid?” I ask him. “I got Band-Aids.” He shakes his head no.

Gram told me not to tell them about my savings account, so I do not. Everett Federal has a special place for savers like me so my money can make money. Like music. CDs. I do not tell him this either. I put my special savings-account papers in Gram and Gramp’s cardboard box. I do not leave them out for anyone to see. They are private.

"CeCe and I would really like you to come over for a visit, spend the night,” he says.

“Why?” I ask.

That makes him stare right through me and he licks his lips. He looks like a dog when you give it treats.

Keith told me to ask why, if John or David or Louise wanted me to go somewhere. He said Gram would want me to.

“Why?” I ask John again.

He smiles and looks at his nails. I do not think there is any that is long enough to bite but I do not tell him this.

“Well, Perry, we’d all like to get to know you better. Spend some time together. Plus it’s time for a Family Meeting.” John’s voice sounds like Mr. Thompson’s dog Dazy when there was a cat sneaking over the fence. Dazy was part firedog and did not like cats. She would growl and chase them.

When someone invites you to their house, you say yes so you do not hurt their feelings. Hurting people’s feelings is rude. I go with John to his house. I do not have a suitcase, so John stuffs my clothes into a pillowcase. That is definitely not cool because I will have to fold them again when I unpack. They will be all wrinkled.

I try to tell him, but he says, “Don’t worry about it, Perry.”

But I do. I am the one who has to fold them.

He looks out my front window and tells me to hurry, but I have to write a note to Keith. I leave it on the table. It says, “GONE TO JOHN’S HOUSE.”

Keith and I were going to get pizza and watch a DVD tonight. He can always watch a DVD without me. I have to lock the door to my apartment so no one will go inside and steal my TV. It is good that Keith has his own key.

“Your brother John lives in a big white house in Bellevue with all the other rich people.” That is what Gram said.

It takes an hour to get there even though his car is faster than Yo. His front yard has green bushes with red flowers. There is a hot tub on the redwood deck behind the house and a tall stone wall around the backyard. He shows me around as he tells me the rules. I am not allowed to use the hot tub. I am not allowed to go outside. I am not allowed in the living room. There are many
not alloweds
at his house. John tells me to sit at the table and he goes to use his phone. I hear him from the kitchen.

He means Louise. He calls Louise Mom.

After he hangs up, he says, “I’ve got to go back to work. You have to amuse yourself until CeCe and I get home.”

When people tell you to amuse yourself, it means you are bothering them.

22

John’s first wife was Lenore and his second wife was Grace. I do not know who three and four were. Number five is CeCe. She used to be his receptionist. That is what David said. Gram said they are all the same person, just different names. I did not meet the others, only CeCe, and her poodle, so I do not know if they are really the same. John bites his nails and does not eat Tums. He drinks Maalox straight out of a bottle. It makes white specks on his mustache. I do not tell him this. It would not be nice. People who bite their nails and drink Maalox are nervous, Gram said.

He does not have any children. Neither does David.

Gram always told me that was good. “Get them both out of the gene pool! That’s what I say.” The gene pool is something you want other people out of.

I sit on the sofa in the family room with Gigi and watch bull riding, Animal Planet, and
Jeopardy!
If you do not scratch her just right, Gigi will bite you. She bit me twice already. You can get rabies from dogs if they are frothing at the mouth. I look carefully at Gigi’s spit. It does not look like froth. She does not like bull riding because of the buzzers and snaps at me three more times. Her teeth click in the air. I love dogs even when they bite.

I decide to channel-hike. That is when you click the remote and go from channel 03 to channel 099 and back again. Gigi likes it when I channel-hike and growls at all the commercials.

I hope I do not have to stay long. I need to go to work tomorrow. Gary has golf on Thursdays and I have to help Keith close up. I want to go home right after the Family Meeting. A Family Meeting is always about money or when someone has died. We had one for Gramp and another for Gram.

I am by myself for the rest of the day. It is rude to leave guests alone in your house. John did not say I could open any cupboards, so I do not eat lunch. It is also rude not to feed your guests.

No one gets home until after eight. I have not had dinner and I am hungry. I do not go into John’s refrigerator because you have to ask permission for that.

I am happy but a little nervous when everyone arrives. My stomach grumbles loud.

“So, Perry, how’s it going?” David’s wife, Elaine, asks. My mouth is dry. She has never wanted to know how it was going before. I do not know how to answer.

“It is going fine,” I finally say. She makes me nervous and hugs me so tight it hurts.

“I hope you know we are going through a lot of trouble to help you,” she whispers in my ear and makes bumps go up my arm. David pats me on the back and I cough.

John and CeCe are already sitting at the dining room table. I am hungry. There are crackers and weird yellow mush in a bowl. CeCe says it is hummus. I laugh. It tastes like nut pudding. I do not like it and eat crackers naked. I want a glass of water, but no one offers me anything and it is not polite to ask. They all have wineglasses and make something called a toast about money. I never drink wine. Gram would not let me.

CeCe says this, but it is stupid because I am a very good speller and she is not.

It is after nine when Louise comes through the front door. I do not know who she is at first because her hair is now black.

“Louise.” “Darling.” “Mother.” John and Elaine talk at the same time, but Louise ignores them and hugs me. She smells like old flowers and Gigi growls at her.

“Oh honey! Such a lucky boy! Lucky. Lucky. Boy! Now, what are we going to do with all that lovely money?” When she smiles, her big front teeth make her look like a beaver except she has curly hair and no brown fur. She does not touch my face but kisses something in the air next to me.

“All the lovely money that’s left anyway,” John says. He has papers in his hand. “I have your checking account statement, Perry.”

I am mad because that is my private stuff. It is not nice to take someone’s private stuff.

John stares at me and picks his nails and Elaine stands behind him looking over his shoulder at the papers. “If you’ve blown this much in a month nothing will be left in a year. What did you spend it on?” John asks. Pick. Pick. Pick. I hear his fingers click like Gram’s egg timer.

Elaine licks her lips and puts a hand on his arm. “Shhhh. You’ll scare him,” she says. “You have to be gentle.” Her eyes move like the lizards’ at Pets R Us. She is much scarier than either John or David. “I think you need to hand over your checkbook, Perry. For safekeeping,” she says.

“What’d you do, Perry? It’s okay. It’s really your money.” David puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Now, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard you say tonight, David. Try not to cause any more problems than we’ve got right now.” Elaine rolls her eyes. “Perry needs to have us be in charge of his finances. A simple general Power of Attorney, Perry, and your problems will be over.”

John squeezes his lips together and tells me, “I consider this everybody ’s money. You’re wasting it. We’re a family. Families share money. Don’t you want to share? What could you possibly have spent it on?”

Be careful.
Gram’s voice.

“Investments,” I say again. “Stuff. A TV.” I already told them once. I am getting even madder.

They think I am stupid. I can see it in their faces.

“What investments?” They all ask this at the same time. It is like the choir in church where Gram, Gramp, and I used to go for Easter.

They do not wait for my answer and start to talk among themselves all at once.