Love for the Matron (11 page)

“Can parents do more than guide their children
’
s careers. After all, they
’
re the ones who live
their lives ... pa
r
e
nts can
’
t.” She wondered
whether she was being too dogmatic.

William chuckled again. “There speaks the mother of none!”

Elizabeth drew back as if someone had handed her a rose and a thorn had pricked her. “They say the observer sees most of the game,” she said swiftly, trying to conceal the fact that his words had cut deeper than he knew. If Irving had lived her children would be as old as Robin ... no, younger, she told herself. They wouldn
’
t have married until he had folded up his wings and put away his uniform. He had strong views on marrying while there was a war on..
.

William put a hand on her arm and drew her back to the present. “Forgive me, I shouldn
’
t have said that, even in jest. I might have known there was a reason for an attractive woman like
y
ourself not marrying.”

Elizabeth realized that she must have been silent longer than she knew. “It
’
s all right, Doctor Gregory. It was a long time ago that he was killed.”

“And there
’
s been no one since
...”
He stopped as if sensing that he really had no right to ask.

Elizabeth hesitated. Had she ever thought of Stuart as a possibility or had he always been merely the faint echo of an earlier dream? “I don
’
t know ... no, I don
’
t think so, unless
...”
What on earth had she been going to say?

William
’
s hand dropped from her arm. “I don
’
t know what you must think of me, Miss Graham. I
’
m not usually so inquisitive about things that could be no concern of mine ... I don
’
t know why I asked. Forget it, please.”

Elizabeth found herself oddly moved by his unhappy embarrassment.

“It
’
s all right, Doctor Gregory. I don
’
t really mind. It
’
s only that I haven
’
t had much occasion to discuss it. I suppose there have been so many other things to occupy my attention.”

“Thank you, Miss Graham, for being so kind about my clumsy inquisitiveness. Here we are ... have you got your key?”

Elizabeth felt in her pocket and brought it out. He took it from her without a word and unlocked the door and switched on the hall light for her.

“Will you be all right now, Miss Graham? I
’
d better get back before Dear Emily boils over with the soup.” He glanced at her searchingly. “You
’
re not worrying about the river, are you
?
”

Elizabeth shook her head and smiled at him. “Perhaps if I knew more about rivers I might be. Thank you for brin
g
ing me home, Doctor Gregory,
and ... be kind to Robin.” For a moment she thought she had spoilt the accord between them by stepping over the line of polite behaviour.

He looked at her steadily and then a smile softened his expression. “I
’
ll do my best to
...
remember myself when young. Good night.”

Elizabeth listened until the sound of his footsteps on the gravel died away, and then shut the door firmly upon the rising crescendo of the river
’
s roar
.
She went slowly up the stairs and the coals of a dying fire winked at her from the darkness before she flicked on the light switch, She glanced at the tea-tray left by the attentive Annie, but she didn
’
t feel like having any. She had had a little too much of everything today and her bed seemed a restful sanctuary from too many thoughts.

Elizabeth let the pages of her newspaper slip from her grasp and reached up a sleepy hand to switch off the light by her bed, but before her fingers touched it the phone rang suddenly and loudly beside her. It was a moment before her drowsy mind could sharpen sufficiently to allow her to pick it up.

“Hello,” she said rather stupidly.

“Is that you, Elizabeth? Stuart here. Well, how did you get on with Susan?”

Elizabeth made a tremendous effort to concentrate. “What about Susan?”

Stuart
’
s voice became impatient. “What on earth is the matter with you? Didn
’
t you go to Castleford after all, then?”

Elizabeth forced her mind to recapture tonight
’
s events and then without warning, she laughed, “You don
’
t have to worry about Susan. She
’
s no lovelorn teenager and was very much aware of the fact that she was merely leading you on. She was feeling bored and fed-up and you happened to be there, that
’
s all.”

The man at the other end of the line made an explosive sound of exasperation. “The little minx! I hope you gave her a good talking to.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “I did ... I told her you were part of her growing up process.”

“The devil you did! How am I supposed to feel ... flattered or shattered?” he demanded crossly.

Elizabeth sobered. “I thought all you were interested in was making sure the child wasn
’
t hurt, and now you
’
re worrying about your own feelings
!
”

There was a momentary silence and then, “I
’
d forgotten how sharp you kept your sword, Elizabeth. I thought we had agreed to sheathe them for the time being.”

“You
’
re getting very sensitive in your old age,” she teased him.

“Is that how you think of me
...
of us
...
as middle-aged?” he asked slowly
.

What a conversation to be having at such an hour! “Well, aren
’
t we?”

As soon as she had said it she wondered how she really regarded herself ... as someone on the threshold of a safe middle-age ... as someone who had dreamed her wildest dreams and was now content to walk in the shadows of their memories...

“You
’
re being too truthful to be complimentary tonight, Elizabeth. What are you doing?”

“I
’
m in bed. I was about to turn off the light when the phone rang,” Elizabeth said a trifle sharply.

There was a silence before he spoke again. “I bet you look very nice in bed. Good night, Elizabeth, and sweet dreams ... of the might-have
-
been.”

He didn
’
t give her time to reply and there was only the click of his receiver going down. She stared at the phone and put it back, on its rest impatiently. Minutes ago she had been ready for sleep, pleasantly drowsy at the end of an exacting day, and now she was wide awake and all sorts of thoughts were marching restlessly through the orderliness of her mind. She should have accepted William
’
s offer of a book. Perhaps if she heated herself some milk ... but before she could swing her feet out of bed the phone rang again, compellingly, urgently.

She picked it up. “Elizabeth Graham speaking,” she said crisply.

“Sorry to bother you at this late hour, Miss Graham, but Robin isn
’
t with you by any chance?” William Gregory sounded harassed and miserable.

Elizabeth focused her attention. “No, he isn
’
t, Doctor Gregory.” She thought for a moment. “Have you looked in his workshop?”

“Yes, we have,” William Gregory said heavily.

He seemed tired to the limits of his endurance, and she felt a sudden pity for him, but it was a feeling warmer than pity, she decided, as she marshalled her resources to help him.

“He
’
s probably gone for a walk,” she told him reassuringly. “The coffee would have wakened
him
up, and especially if he was feeling upset by your displeasure he might have felt the need of some fresh air.”

She could hear sudden movement at the other end of the line and then William
’
s voice speaking quickly and yet indistinctly as if he were no longer addressing the phone.

“What did you say, Susan? He
’
s back and gone to bed? All right, off you go yourself, sweetie, and you
’
d better stay home from school tomorrow. Oh? .
.
. well, we
’
ll see how you are in the morning ... Sorry, Miss Graham I seem to have bothered you for nothing Robin
’
s back. I hope I didn
’
t disturb you.”

Moved by some errant impulse Elizabeth answered him sweetly. “Not at all, Doctor Gregory. I
’
m already in bed, and the phone
’
s beside me.”

There was a sudden silence as if her words had acted like a bombshell. “Oh. I
’
m sorry, Miss Graham ... I hadn
’
t realized it was so late. Good night and thank you again”

Once again the line went dead, but this time there was no anger and impatience in her mind. She felt guilty at having upset a man already weary and tired to the limits of his strength. Cheap sarcasm was all right for someone like Stuart Nichols, but not to be used as a weapon against someone of William
’
s calibre. She had an idea that he carried little armor and that his wounds would be deep and slow to heal. For a moment she was astonished by the depths of her feeling that she might want to protect
him
against all onslaughts, and then her remark to Stuart returned to her
...
They were, all three of them, middle-aged and far past such powerful emotions. Elizabeth glanced at her watch and got out of bed. She would heat that milk
...
warm drinks and hot water bottles and insomnia all pointed to a rapidly approaching
old
age ...

Elizabeth wakened slowly and watched the little white clouds sail across the blue sky outside her narrow window
...
blue sky
...
surely that meant no more rain and the river would start to go down She got out of bed and went over to the window and stared out hopefully, but the green lawns of yesterday seemed to have shrunk during the night, and after a moment she realized that the trees along the river
’
s edge were standing in the wrong place There was the river beyond them, and yet to this side of them there was a sheet of water, and clumps of daffodils were waving forlornly as they gazed at their reflection. She shivered and tried to measure the distance that lay between her doorstep and the lapping flood. Of course the lawns did slope towards the river and the Matron
’
s house was tucked away under the castle walls, but she couldn
’
t help feeling uneasy. When she went on duty she found that this feeling was shared by the older members of her staff. There was a familiarity about the tension that puzzled her for a moment until she realized it was the way they had felt during the blitz, especially when the moon was nearing fullness and they knew from the bitterness of experience that the German bombers would exact a heavy toll from the extra brightness.

It was Miss Selby who brought up the subject first. “When will we start moving the patients to the Guild Hall, Miss Graham
?
”

Elizabeth had taken the precaution of checking the situation with the civic authorities. “As soon as the Mayor issues the emergency flood warning, Miss Selby. He is keeping in close touch with the water levels further west.”

“Miss Brown never waited for the Mayor
’
s say-so. She always got the Guild Hall ready just in case.”

Elizabeth regarded her Deputy Matron steadily. “Sister Winsley is checking the camp cots and emergency supplies for us, and the Blood Transfusion people will let us have theirs as well and we can use their heavy lorries as transport. We don
’
t know how many ambulances will be available if the floods cut the roads into the towns.”

Miss Selby
’
s face wore an expression of mixed surprise and annoyance. “Sister Winsley didn
’
t tell me,” she murmured finally.

“I don
’
t suppose she has had time. You were taking the night report, I believe.”

There was a knock on the door and William Gregory came in with a slip of paper in his hand.

“Good morning, Miss Graham. I thought you might like the latest report. The authorities think the peak of the flood has been passed for the time being
...
unless we have further rain, of course, but at the moment the forecast is bright periods and showers, Exeter
’
s situation has improved slightly as well and one road into the city is open again.”

Miss Selby seized the opportunity to make her excuses. “In that case, Miss Graham, you won
’
t be needing me. I
’
ll get on with my work.”

“Yes do, Miss Selby, and you might let Sister Winsley know that when she has finished checking the equipment she need do nothing further at present,” Elizabeth suggested pleasantly.

She was fairly sure that Miss Selby was on her way to see Sister Winsley anyway, and she might as well have an official message to take with the scolding that was due for not keeping her friend informed
...

Margaret Smith came in with the tea-tray and the letters. “I
’
m sorry I couldn
’
t give them to you sooner, Miss Graham,” she apologized, “but the floods have held up the mail.”

Elizabeth took them from her and put the pile on the edge of her desk and then busied herself with pouring out the tea while William Gregory surveyed the river from the window before taking a seat.

He glanced at Elizabeth and then smiled. “You seem none the worse for your disturbed night, Miss Graham.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Just because I was in bed when you phoned doesn
’
t mean that I was asleep. I had finished reading the paper a few minutes before.” She didn
’
t enlighten him as to the earlier phone call she had had from Stuart ... it was pure chance that William Gregory hadn
’
t found the line engaged when he had rung the Matron
’
s house.

“How is Robin this morning?” she asked.

He looked a little startled that she should have ventured on tender ground. “I don
’
t know. He wasn
’
t up when I left but Dear Emily reported that he had drunk his early morning tea as usual.”

“Does Dear Emily know about it, then?” Elizabeth asked curiously.