Love Inspired May 2015 #2 (14 page)

“What, Jake? What do you want?” she barely breathed, the words a choked whisper.

“This.” His eyes fell closed as he touched his lips to hers.

Her heart whizzed and soared, like fireworks shot to the sky, yet warm, full lips moving over hers kept her rooted to the earth. Her heart lay open, ready to love and be loved. When she touched his face, he intensified the kiss.

“Oh, Violet,” he whispered, touching his forehead to hers. “I wanted to do that days ago, but the timing didn't feel right. I'm glad you opened up a little about your family. But I want to know everything about you.”

Like a cold north wind seeping in through a window, the comment slowly invaded her fantasy world—the world where she kissed a handsome man who said he cared for her. Could she handle having a relationship? How would he feel once he found out about her past?

Would he think her weak, or worse, selfish?

“I should go,” she said, forcing herself away from his touch.

“Yeah, okay. Probably a good idea.” A deep laugh rumbled in his chest as he dragged his gaze from her lips.

“Wha— Oh.” Her face flushed. He thought she meant to leave because of the sizzling attraction. Although she was actually escaping the truth. Truth that might change his feelings about her.

He wanted to know everything about her. Before she committed to a relationship, she
wanted
him to know everything,
needed
him to know. First, she had to figure out how to tell him. How to explain emotions she still hadn't fully processed, especially now that her parents claimed they regretted their decision about her son.

Maybe the past wasn't so cut and dried. Now that she'd witnessed Jake's love for Abby, she had to acknowledge her son had probably had a better life than she could have offered as a teen without any support.

Despite her parents' motivations, maybe they had ultimately done what was best for everyone.

Maybe God had heard her desperate prayers all along, had taken a painful situation and worked it out for good.

“Um, yeah. I was just leaving.” She gave him a timid smile, then turned to walk away.

With a gentle tug on her hand, he reeled her back in. “One for the road, Doc.” He planted a quick kiss on her lips, then gave her a smile as he let go. “Thanks for once again coming to my rescue.”

“Anytime.” With a wave, she headed out.

If she believed God worked everything out for good, then she'd have to trust Him when revealing her past to Jake.

She needed to do it soon.

* * *

“Looks like you've been bitten by the love bug,” Zeb cracked so loudly that the other men at the work site heard.

Snickers sounded around the corner.

Jake's neck probably glowed as red as Zeb's shiny new truck. He hadn't even intended to mention Violet. He'd started the conversation talking about possibly adopting Abby.

That morning, he'd decided he would email Remy one more time, warning her of his plan to contact an attorney. But telling Zeb about Abby invariably led to talking about Violet.

“What makes you say that?” Jake asked.

“I see it in your eyes when you talk about Doc Crenshaw. That and the big stupid grin on your face.”

Clamping his teeth together to wipe away that telltale smile, he clicked Abby's car seat in the base and shut the truck door. She sat happily in her car seat, sucking on a pacifier. Jake climbed in behind the wheel, relieved that she hardly ever cried anymore. No more colic, if that was what had caused her crying jags. She only cried when she was hungry or needed changing. Or sometimes in her car seat.

“Gotta go before Abby starts fretting. Be sure to send me that bid we talked about.”

“Will do,” Zeb said. “I'm happy for you. I hear Doc Crenshaw is a great gal. A fine doctor.”

Glad to hear people were finally seeing Violet for the amazing person she was, he gave a firm nod. “She is. And just between you and me, I plan to ask her out.”

Zeb slapped his leg and cackled. “I knew it.”

“Don't mention it. She doesn't know yet.”

“Oh, don't worry. Wouldn't want to humiliate you if she turns you down.” He winked at Jake and headed inside.

Zeb was joking, but he'd hit a raw nerve. Jake was worried about that very thing.

No, he was going to think positively. Hadn't Violet taught him not to give up? After last night, everything felt right between them. Mostly. She hadn't opened up fully, but she'd taken a step, talking about her parents' high expectations, their focus on career.

Of course, she'd left quickly. But then, she had a tendency to do that.

As he pulled out onto the road, he couldn't help but smile. Last night had been perfect. He was glad he'd waited to kiss her. But she still hadn't told him exactly what had happened to tear apart her family. She'd kind of danced around it. Uncertainty niggled at him as he drove home.

When he arrived, he took Abby inside. As he lifted her out of her seat, and she looked him in the eye, a wave of protectiveness nearly brought him to his knees. He loved this little girl as if she were his own.

He would type up an email to Remy. Would give her one last chance to act. Then on Tuesday, he would contact a lawyer to pursue officially adopting Abby.

Jake fed Abby her lunch and then put her down for a nap. He opened a new email and started typing.

Dear Remy,

I hope you've been reading my messages. I'm starting to wonder if you've fallen back into the clutches of addiction. Whatever the reason you're not replying, I need you to know that I love Abby. She's taken over my heart, and I want to make her a permanent part of my life.

From what you've said, you want me to raise her. If I don't hear from you by Monday evening, I'm consulting an attorney to start legal proceedings for adoption.

I know this is what you said you wanted in the first place, but I've wanted to give you every chance to come home to get your daughter. However, now I need to move to the next step. For Abby's well-being as well as for my peace of mind.

I truly hope you're doing well. I pray for you daily.

Love, Jake

Jake saved the email but didn't send it. He picked up his phone and texted Violet, asking her to come over to read the message. He felt he needed her input, her approval.

Ten minutes later, she walked in his kitchen door.

“Wearing your uniform, I see.” He smiled at her Nike shorts and dark green T-shirt.

“You know it.”

After an awkward moment, he stepped into her space and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You look good no matter what you're wearing.”

She smiled up at him. “I know I don't, but you're sweet for saying it. Where's Abby?”

“Asleep.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Mmm, you smell good.”

“I took a shower after seeing patients at the office and checking on a baby at the hospital.”

He kissed her forehead, her nose and then finally her mouth. It had been way too long since he'd kissed her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into him, her warm lips pressed to his.

“Lord, take me now, and I'll die a happy man,” he whispered against her lips.

She laughed. Inched away. “You're crazy.”

“Just thanking God for you.” Staring into her eyes that looked extra green today against her green shirt, he brushed the wispy ends of her hair off her forehead. “Now, before I forget the whole reason for asking you to come over...”

He flipped open his computer. “I'd like you to read this before I send it. Give me your honest opinion.”

“Okay.” Violet settled into the chair and read. And read.

She continued to stare at the screen well beyond a reasonable length of time.

“What's wrong? Is it too strong, not strong enough? Is it—”

“It's perfect.” She looked up at him with tears brimming in her eyes. “If there's any chance she still wants Abby, this should spur her to act quickly. If there's no hope of her coming...well, this will reassure her that her baby will be well loved, will have a happy life.”

Jake swallowed a knot the size of a two-by-four out of his throat. “Then let's hit the send button.”

She moved the cursor, he put his hand over hers and they clicked together.

“Thank you.” He pulled her to her feet. “For your support, for making me believe I can do this. And also for allowing me to keep Abby out of the system.”

“I hope Remy takes this email to heart.”

“Is it wrong of me to hope she doesn't show?”

She sighed, her expression thoughtful. “I think it's normal. But you should be prepared for her to come.”

He tightened his arms, hugging her to his chest. “I'm trying to. But in my worst nightmares, she does show up, high on drugs, trying to steal Abby away. If that happens, I'll call the police.”

“Being ready is good.” Patting her hand over his heart, she smiled. “But don't borrow trouble.”

He stepped back. “You're right. Just two more days, and we'll know.”

She smiled and touched his face. “Think positively.”

“I am. In fact, I'd like to take you out on Friday. To celebrate starting the adoption process.”

“Wow. That's certainly thinking positively.”

His heart plummeted. She hadn't exactly jumped at the offer. “So, how about it? We'll get a babysitter, maybe go out for a nice dinner. And hey, my birthday's next weekend. You can hardly say no to that.”

“Your birthday? I should be the one taking you out.”

Lifting her hand to his mouth, he kissed her palm. “So will you go out with me?”

Biting her lip, she glanced away. “I need to check my schedule. Can I let you know tomorrow?”

Check her schedule? Sounded like an excuse to him. “Sure.”

She looked up at him, tentative, unsure.

Still holding her hand, he pressed it to his chest, near his heart. “This may sound crazy, but I feel hopeful. When I'm with you and Abby, I feel like I have everything that's been missing in my life.” Suddenly uncomfortable for saying the words out loud, he let go of her hand and slid his into his pockets.

Her eyes widened, but she didn't step away.

Might as well go for broke. “It's like I have the family I've always longed for.”

“I'm glad...you, uh...have that,” she said, the words a struggle to push out.

The sound of Abby shuffling in her bed filtered through the baby monitor. Then she whimpered.

Violet let out a puff of air, no doubt relieved. “I should leave. I need to run some errands.”

“Oh, okay. Guess I'll see you at church tomorrow.”

“Yep. See you then.” She smiled and headed out the back door.

He'd scared her off by asking her out. Or, more likely, by mentioning the family thing.

Surely she wanted that bond, that family connection, as much as he did. He'd have to be patient and give her time to accept the fact they needed each other.

Chapter Ten

I
have a potential date on Friday.

For about the hundredth time since yesterday, a thrill shot through Violet when she thought of Jake asking her out.

What on earth was she going to do?

She glanced at him sitting in the pew on the other side of Abby's carrier, not two feet away. He was so handsome it made her insides dance all over the place every time she looked at him. But more than that, he was strong, dependable, loyal.

Loyalty was huge. A trait she required a man to have before she would go out with him. Of course, she had already kissed Jake. Why hesitate to make a relationship official with a date?

Regardless, she should do something nice to celebrate his birthday.

As they stood for the last hymn, Violet decided she would grab Chloe after the service to get suggestions for a possible gift. When the music ended, the pastor dismissed them.

She looked over at Jake. “Nice service.”

“Yeah. And a beautiful day outside, too.”

Okay, so he was talking about the weather, feeling some of the same awkwardness. She didn't feel so bad.

She rubbed Abby's head. “See you later, sweet girl.”

“In a hurry?”

“I need to catch Chloe.”

He nodded toward the front of the church. “She's over there with her sister.”

“Thanks.” Her stomach had been knotted since she awoke. Before the service, Jake had informed her Remy hadn't responded to his email. Could she have contacted him in the past hour?

“Will you check your email again before I go?” she asked.

He gave her an understanding smile and looked relieved she felt the same. “Was about to do that.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it and quickly checked messages.

What would Jake do if his cousin wanted Abby?

“No word from Remy.”

The tension rushed out in a huff. “I can't stand to think of her coming back and doing that to you, even though I believe Remy deserves a chance.” She wished she could ban the possibility. She didn't want to see Jake hurt.

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks. That means the world to me. So...about Friday...” Laughter pulled his attention to the other side of the church. “Oh, looks like Chloe's heading out. You better hurry.”

With her face warm, she let go of his hand. “Thanks. I'll talk to you about Friday later.” She darted toward her friends. “Chloe, Darcy, wait up!”

They paused in the open door. As Darcy waved, the diamond in her new gorgeous engagement ring caught the sunlight and flashed.

A stab of envy left Violet feeling sucker punched.
Since when do I care about romance and marriage?

Who was she kidding? She'd started caring the moment she'd realized Jake was not only handsome, but also a good man determined to keep his promise to care for Abby.

“Hi, Violet. What's up?” Chloe asked.

“I just found out Jake's birthday is this coming weekend. Wanted to see what y'all would suggest I do for a gift.”

“Got a hot date with the birthday boy?” Chloe teased.

Darcy swatted at her sister's arm. “Give Violet a break.”

“It's okay,” Violet said. “I'm learning to dodge Chloe's matchmaking attempts.”

“Don't be so quick to ignore her, though.” Darcy's eyes shone with love for her sister. “She did a good job in my case.”

Chloe gasped. “Violet, I just had the perfect idea. Use the weekend trip you won at the auction as his gift. Take Jake up to our lake house this coming Saturday. Spend the day on the boat. Cook out.”

“I can vouch for how romantic that is,” Darcy said. “This weekend is yours if you want it.”

Did she dare? Asking him to come spend the day with her would be agreeing to date him.

The sisters stared at her, waiting, looking hopeful.

“You can do this,” Chloe whispered.

It was the push she needed. “Okay. I'll ask him. And if he won't go, then I'll have a weekend away by myself.”

Chloe squealed her delight as Darcy hugged Violet. But their excitement didn't touch the anxiety tangling Violet's insides.

“Tell Jake we'll be available to babysit,” Darcy said. “Our birthday gift to him.”

“I can't thank you both enough.”

But now, the problem would be finding the nerve to invite Jake. And if they stood any chance of having the type of relationship he was hinting at, she would have to share her complete past. Could she dare open up to him at the lake house on Saturday?

* * *

A knock sounded at Jake's back door. Probably Violet. She'd texted to say she planned to drop by on her way home from work.

Possibly to accept his invitation to go out?

He set down a freshly prepared bottle and, carrying Abby, quickly strode across the kitchen. He spotted Violet through the door and opened it with a smile.

She stood on his doorstep wearing navy slacks and a silky white blouse, her eyes shining with excitement. “Hi.” She pushed her dark hair behind her ear as she glanced at Abby.

He was beginning to think her tucking the hair was a nervous habit because the wispy ends never stayed put.

With a pretty pink-cheeked blush, she leaned over and kissed Abby's head. “How'd our sweet girl do with the sitter today?”

Our sweet girl.
Her words soothed his heart like the stroke of a soft-bristled paintbrush. Maybe everything he'd longed for wasn't out of reach after all. “Went great. Come on in.”

She glanced at the kitchen table, where he'd set a bag of Chinese takeout.

“I don't want to keep you from your dinner. I just came by to accept your invitation for Friday. And to ask if you'd let me take you to the O'Malleys' lake house for your birthday on Saturday. Darcy and Chloe volunteered to babysit.” Her voice sounded breathy, as if she were nervous. But her warm hazel eyes still twinkled, radiating happiness.

She'd been thoughtful enough to remember his birthday and to make the arrangements. “I gladly accept. Tell Chloe and Darcy I'll be in touch.”

“Fantastic.” A small, pleased smile lifted the corners of her mouth.

He took her hand and tugged her toward him. “I ordered enough food for you. So no excuses.”

With a laugh, she allowed him to pull her inside. “I am starving and was dreading making a frozen pizza.”

“Then stay and eat with me. Would you mind feeding Abby while I set the table and get drinks?”

“I'd love to feed her.”

He placed the baby in Violet's arms, and being so close made him want to feel her soft lips again.

Unable to resist, he lifted her chin and briefly, gently kissed her. Yes, her lips were just as warm and sweet as he remembered.

She sighed. “I've been thinking about that all day.”

“Me, too.” He winked at her, then went to retrieve the freshly made bottle.

While Violet fed Abby, the baby held onto her finger and looked into her eyes. The sight was so lovely, so precious, it made him ache. He wanted this, all of this—Violet and Abby and him together. A family.

Jake dragged himself from the daydream and grabbed plates, then poured iced tea.

When Abby finished, Violet put her in the bouncy seat. He sat adjacent to her at the small table for four and pulled the food containers out of the bag. “Mongolian beef or cashew chicken?”

“Both.”

He laughed as he filled her plate and then his. “Chopsticks?”

“Of course.”

“More power to you.” With a grin, he handed them over. “Let's say a blessing.”

She held out her hand, and he grasped it in his. Hers was delicate, warm, soft. Such gentle, capable hands, trained to tend to children. Hands that now brought a sense of peace to him.

He thanked God for the food and then added his gratitude for Violet and the way she had blessed Abby, the community...and him.

“Amen,” he said.

“Amen,” she whispered. When she looked up, she had tears in her eyes. “Thank you. I'm grateful, too. For you and for this town and how it's becoming a home for me.” She looked down and brushed a finger over Abby's cheek. “And for this precious girl.”

“I made an appointment with the lawyer for tomorrow afternoon.”

Slowly, she drew in a deep breath and then, just as slowly, she let it out. “I'm glad. You've contacted Remy, given her multiple chances to come back. But I think Abby's permanence is important, and it's time to move toward that.”

“So can I assume you won't be contacting Child Protective Services?”

She shook her head. “No. I feel sure your lawyer will handle everything properly. And I know Abby is in good hands.”

“Before we know it, I'll—” Overwhelmed, he had to clear his constricted throat. “I'll be a dad.”

Warmth shone in her eyes. Warmth and affection. “Yeah. And a good one, too. I'm so proud of how you've jumped in, learning to care for Abby.”

Could that be love he saw in her eyes?

Abby kicked her feet, rattling the toys attached to the bouncy seat, startling them.

Violet laughed, and Jake couldn't resist leaning over and kissing her. “I love this. Being with my two favorite gals.”

A soft knock sounded at the kitchen door, then it opened partway.

“Hello?” A head poked inside.

Jake's heart hit his knees.
No.

Remy gave a weak smile and then her gaze darted straight to Abby. “Can I come in?”

As Jake leaped to his feet, scraping his chair legs across the floor, his chest squeezed so he could barely breathe. “Uh, yeah.”

His cousin stepped inside and shut the door. She wore light blue scrubs and had a name badge hanging around her neck. This time, her hair looked clean and well-groomed and her eyes were bright and clear. “I'm sorry I didn't call first. I wasn't sure...” With a shrug, she let out a sigh. “I thought I knew what was best for Abigail, but now I think I made a mistake.” She stared at her daughter with longing so intense it hurt him to look at Remy.

Jake wanted to grab Abby and take off, to just forget Remy had shown up.

At some point, Violet had taken Abby out of her seat and now stood by the table. She clutched the baby tightly to her chest.

Remy's gaze moved from Abby and landed on Violet. “You must be the pediatrician Jake mentioned. And also the woman who came with Jake looking for me at Dotty's Dippity-Do?”

She nodded, alarm in her eyes. “I'm Violet Crenshaw.”

Jake couldn't believe Remy had shown up. Though he'd given Remy this last opportunity to claim Abby, he'd assumed she was still selfish and rebellious and wouldn't show. He wanted to rail against her return. Seeing the pain on Violet's face multiplied his own.

He stepped to Violet's side and put his arm around her waist, the two of them united as a team. Yet Remy hadn't mentioned taking Abby. Maybe he stood a chance. “You sound as if you're not sure what you want to do. I can tell you I'm
positive
what I want. I want to adopt Abby.”

“Ever since you sent those photos of Abigail, I've doubted my decision. I started meeting with a counselor and got help from Florence Phillips from the shelter where I used to stay. I went to a weeklong parenting class in the evenings.”

Why had he tried to entice Remy to come back? Why on earth hadn't he just gone straight to the lawyer as soon as he realized he loved Abby and was capable of caring for her?

“We've been happy,” Jake said. “Abby is loved...no, adored, and is doing well. I... We...will take good care of your child.”

A flash of the old Remy sparked in her eyes. “That's just it, Jake. She's
my
child. And I want her back.”

Terror shot through him, making his stomach clench. How could he ever be assured Remy was off drugs? That she wouldn't get overwhelmed and take off again—leaving Abby in someone else's care?

He gripped Violet tighter, hoping she'd speak up, with personal as well as professional advice. But she remained rooted in place, holding Abby to her chest, patting the baby's back as if to comfort Abby as well as maybe herself.

Jake needed to get control of the situation. Needed to try to sound kind and understanding when every cell in him wanted to shout for Remy to get out. “Come sit down, and we can talk.”

“I'm sorry, Jake. I know you've grown attached to Abigail...Abby. But you gave me a deadline, and I arrived before that deadline. I'm in a much better place now and want my baby back.”

“You signed a paper.”

“But nothing official.”

“You deserted your daughter.”

“I appreciate all you've done to help me. But now I'm back.” She reached in a bag. “I totally understand your concerns. That's why I've brought copies of random drug tests I've had at my job and while I stayed at the shelter, proving I've been clean for over a year. Here's the rental agreement for the transitional housing I live in, showing I've been paying my rent. I also have a certificate for the parenting class I completed. Have pay stubs to show you I've been working full-time. And I have copies of my transcript so you can see I'm studying to become a certified nursing assistant.”

As she set a thick file folder on the table, her gaze bore into his, determined. “There's also a list of phone numbers of everyone I associate with—counselor, teachers, boss, shelter director, pastor. I gave permission to tell you anything about me. Call them. Check on me.” She drew in a deep breath, her nostrils flaring.

“Remy, come on,” he said.

“I'm not confused anymore. I love my daughter and want her back.” Remy walked over to Abby and rubbed her back. A strangled sob nearly choked her when she touched her child.

Desperate, Jake turned to the woman he loved who held the child he loved. “Violet?” His voice broke. He cleared his throat. “Can you please tell her I've been taking good care of Abby?”