Love Is Fear (18 page)

“
No. I’m not.” The barest pause. The sort of pause someone gave when they had to give bad news, but didn’t want to be the one to do it. “Sorry, Jack, but she’s already with Lucas. She told him she’d help him, and Lucas wants me there tonight.”

“
When?” he asked, angrily.

“
When what?”

“
How long ago did she contact him?”

“
Uh. Not sure. My guess would be recently,” she said, not looking at him, staring fixedly at the worn-looking couch.

“
Why?”

“
If you’re coming, go get your stuff. But keep in mind, no weapons,” she said, giving him a don’t-try-to-pull-any-crap expression.

“
I’m not going without weapons,” he said.

She rolled her shoulders. “I can’t take you to my King and have you be armed. We both know you want to kill him. And I can’t help you with that.”

“
You don’t trust him. He’s hurt you. Why do you care if I try to kill him? Christ, 
you’ve
 tried to kill him.”

“
Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. But if you want to try to kill him, leave me out of it. Do it on your own time. I won’t bring you armed.”

“
You’d let me go in there defenseless?” He was studying her carefully.

She looked him over for a moment, like she was trying to read him. And suddenly anger blossomed inside of her, like a bullet that explodes on impact. “Why wouldn’t I, Jack? You’re a means to an end. We 
both
 have an agenda. You don’t like me. You don’t trust me. You hate me. You’d rather kill me than look at me. So stop dicking around with this act like we’re buddies, or are on the same side. I’m out for me. And you’re doing this for you and for her.” She shook her head, dragging her fingers through her hair. “But you can bring a knife or two,” she grumbled after a moment.

“
Why are you letting me bring a knife?”

She blew out a breath. “Because you’d be just as likely to kill him with a knife as you would with a crayon. Fuck, Jack. Tell me you’re smarter than this. Tell me you have some sense of self-preservation. He will kill you if he can justify it. You can’t let him do it out of self-defense.”

“
She’d never forgive him.”

“
Oh, dear. That sounded perilously close to suicide talk—which is just pathetic.”

“
No, it isn’t. I 
will
 kill him. And I may die doing it. But I will choose my moment,” he said, voice deep with promise.

“
God save us from religious fruitcakes. That’s what you sound like right now. Like this is some kind of jihad or kamikaze trip. Jack, listen”—she stepped closer to him—“if we find the Fey, they will do everything they can to kill Lucas. Everything. Your best chance is with them. And let’s not forget your real prize. Marion is your real prize. Don’t make a move on Lucas until the Fey bullshit is done. Wait until I get Molly out from the witches. If you can wait, I swear, I’ll get you Marion myself.”

She wanted to hit him, cover herself away, anything so he’d stop looking at her like that—like if he kept looking he’d see into the heart of her.

“
I heard you cried when it happened,” Jack said. It caught her unawares—a slap from the dark.

“
And I heard you were terrible in the sack. That doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“
Just because 
one
 thing is a lie, doesn’t mean the other is,” he said, ignoring the jibe. Why was she offering him Marion?

“
You’re right—you can be terrible in the sack. That’s all yours.”

“
Did you cry?” he asked, and this time he took a step closer.

“
Who 
cares
? What does it matter?”

“
I can’t believe you’d give me Marion. I don’t. But I know Lucas could kill me without trying. I’m not an idiot. Give me five minutes to get my things.”

“
Wait.” She rolled her eyes then said, “I don’t want to keep having this conversation—this heart-to-heart bullshit really wears me out. So, let me give you the idiot’s guide – 
me
 vampire,
you
 tasty. Our goals are the same for a small window of time. That’s it.”

“
Then, you did cry,” he said slowly, trying to make the pieces fit. Was she lying to him and would save Marion the moment she could? Had she burned Marion’s picture and celebrated because she knew he was coming over? Where was the lie? Did she love Marion or not?

“
Who 
fucking
 cares? Yeah, I cried. That doesn’t mean you know my motivations. I had to get Lucas off my back, and he needed to think I was invested in getting her out. 
Or
, I really 
do
care about Marion and my plan went wrong. In which case, I’m gonna bust Marion out of the clink the first chance I get. My crying tells you 
nothing,” 
she snarled and grabbed the bottle of beer out of his hand, taking a drink of it before going to his couch and sitting down, giving him her back.

“
I’m leaving in five. Lucas will be pissed if I’m late.”

Chapter 
17

Roanoke wasn’t what Val expected. She’d looked on the internet, knew the land was owned by the state, that people came to visit and have a look at the place where one of the first English colonies was set up. And, of course, the most interesting part was the enduring mystery of what had happened to the colonists all those centuries ago. But seeing it was different.

It felt sad, somehow. She could believe a tragedy had happened here. Val stood at the edge of the water and looked out, trying to guess where the colony might have been, how far underwater it might be—assuming anything was left after four-hundred years.

The sun was setting, the late afternoon fading to night. Val was cold, a chill suddenly crossing her skin. She shivered, and Lucas wrapped an arm around her waist, moving into her so that his body blocked the wind.

He rested his chin on top of her head, his hands clasped in front of her, and she snuggled into his sweater, enjoying how warm he was. The solidity of his body. The moment was just so…normal.

Being this close to him, and knowing how they had spent the previous night, turned her on. Made her want to leave here and go back to bed.

He tilted her chin up and looked down at her, a small smile on his lips. “This will not take long. And then we can go.”

Her heart fluttered as he bent down to kiss her. He kissed her slowly, the barest slide of his tongue across the seam of her lips. His grip tightened, as if holding on to her would keep him from doing more. And then he stopped, raised his head, looked back out at the water. Reluctantly, she followed his gaze.

“
The shore has eroded a thousand feet since 1850,” Lucas said. “The settlers built their fort 300 years before that. The original settlement is long gone.” A pause. “Their things are probably still on the bottom of the ocean.”

“
What things?” Val asked.

Lucas let her go, took a step away from her, glaring at something behind her. “Why is he here?” His voice snapped out like a long, leather whip, and Val looked behind her, trying to figure out who Lucas was talking to.

Rachel was coming toward them, Jack walking beside her. Jack looked murderous. Val looked at Lucas. He looked murderous, too.

Oh, fuck!

“
You didn’t tell me it was invitation-only,” Rachel said with a brittle smile. She bit her lip and looked to the ground, almost hunching-in on herself—she’d made a mistake. She knew it, and there would be repercussions. And frankly, Val was glad.

In addition to the monstrous black mark of almost killing her, bringing Jack here to Lucas, like two dogs and one bone, was not only super uncomfortable and distracting, but it wouldn’t end well. Like body-bag-bad.

“
What are you doing?” Val said to Rachel, moving towards her. “Are you 
trying
 to get him killed?”

All Rachel did was stir the pot and try to get Val, and the people she loved, killed. Rachel looked a bit stunned, but didn’t respond, appealing to Lucas for help.

“
No!” Val snarled at her angrily. “
I’m
 talking to you. What are you doing? Why would you bring him here?” She was going towards Rachel like a hurricane—though, Lord only knew what she’d do when she got there. Tug her hair? Have a catfight? And Rachel took a step back, hands raised, mouth slightly open in shock.

If she says something about me being a kitten with claws, I’ll deck the bitch. 
Val reached down and grabbed a large rock in her hand as she advanced towards Rachel. Was she really going to hit her with a rock?

“
I won’t touch her,” Rachel said, still moving away from Val until Jack crossed in front of her, two feet from Val’s face. Val jerked to a halt like there was an invisible barrier between her and Jack.

“
Valerie. I want to talk to you. 
Alone
,” Jack said, voice cold with fury.

“
That 
is not happening,” Lucas said darkly, and Val jumped, shocked that his voice was so close behind her.

Val whirled around and poked Lucas hard in his invincible and gorgeously-ripped stomach. He made a slight ‘oomph’ sound, which she knew he only did for her benefit, since it didn’t hurt. If he had wanted to, he could have made his flesh so hard she would have broken a nail.

“
Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do!” Val said and poked him again. He was right behind her, no doubt would have stopped her before she could get within scratching distance of Rachel.

He looked down at her, a small frown of confusion on his face. As though she were a terrier nipping at his shoes, and he wasn’t sure if he should kick her away or wait until she got sick of gnawing on him.

“
And you!” She turned back to Jack. “I don’t want to talk to you, anyway.”

“
Val, don’t be petty. This is serious,” Jack said.

Rachel winced at Jack’s words and put a hand out towards him.

“
Petty? Me? After the crap you said to me? I want you out of here. I want you gone! I may never want to speak to you again.”

“
You heard her, take him back to where you found him,” Lucas said to Rachel. Val heard the smug triumph in his voice. Rachel stared at Lucas for a moment, oddly indecisive.

Jack looked at Val entreatingly. “Look, we both said things we regret. That’s what happens. We’re family. This could be life or death. If something happens to you…
you know
. You know I would—”

Valerie wanted to kill him. “You always play that card with me. What 
my
 death would do to 
you
. Why do I care? You don’t give a shit what your death will do to 
me
. You think he won’t kill you? He makes Hitler look like a guy who just had a bad hobby!” She was shouting.

Jack turned away, and it seemed like it cost him. He was biting back some vicious comment, and she just knew it was along the lines of ‘then how the hell can you fuck him? ’ He stalked away from her, a dozen feet, maybe a little more.

Val put her hands in her hair, fisting them tightly like she would rip her hair out, feeling like a petulant child. “Fine. Then don’t talk to me. And leave Lucas alone. Don’t provoke him. And, for the record, if anyone calls me something pet-like or baby-like, I’m gonna lose it!”

“
Well, we would not wish to wave a flag before the bull. Let us go,” Lucas said. Jack cast a deadly look at Lucas, and then back to Val. The question was there, on his face: 
Did you fuck him?

Val turned away in disgust, already knowing she’d made the wrong decision, staring out at the water where the Roanoke settlement might be moldering away at the bottom of the ocean even as they stood here and argued.

There was a part of her that wanted to hurt Jack, tell him she’d screwed Lucas and wasso dehydrated and sore, she thought she wouldn’t pee for a week. No, she’d say she 
had
 been in his bed for a week! Ugh. There was a lot of pain there. She was sick of him hurting her and knowing she could hurt him, too.

That was the trouble with family. They knew exactly how to tear each other down. They could rip out each other’s hearts faster than a vampire, so long as they chose the rightly-wrong words.

Rachel said something, then cleared her throat and tried again. “Let’s go that way. I can feel something over there,” she said and pointed into the surrounding forest. Rachelstarted walking, and Jack went with her.

Val turned, finding Lucas staring at her, a look more cold and forbidding than anything she had ever seen. It was like they were back at the Challenge—he was unapproachable and untouchable.