Love Is Fear (13 page)

Cerdewellyn made a tsking noise in the back of his throat, partly scolding her for her ridiculous fears and partly scolding himself because he was going to kiss her. She looked up at him, an expression of trust and innocence—anticipation that had nothing to do with being a girl but a woman. He could indulge her with a kiss.

Her lips were cold, but the moment he touched her she exhaled, warm breath contrasting with the coolness of her skin, and he moved closer, wanting more of her. He pressed firmly, his tongue licking along the seam of her lips, and she opened her mouth and met him greedily. He wanted to laugh again, because she was so endearing, thinking this was her chance and she would make full use of it. His Virginia was always daring, always ready.

As though she could never have been anything else but his Queen.

He wondered at the perfection of the moment—her lips and the life that lay before them. Opening the portal, returning to the world. And one day, when their numbers had grown, he would have his revenge.

His tongue slid into her mouth, tasting her, craving her so much, that at first, he didn’t even feel the arrow that pierced his heart.

Finally. Finally
! Virginia thought with fierce exultation. Cerdewellyn kissed her, and she wouldn’t give him the chance to stop, would kiss him so ardently that he would be driven by desire to claim her and make her his. She opened her mouth, letting him inside, arching closer with a moan, disbelieving that he was finally kissing her.

Cerdewellyn, King of the Fey, would finally be hers. So tall and imposing with his dark curling hair and black eyes. Eyes that looked as if they had seen everything since the moment time began. A king of beauty and life.

She tilted her head, felt her body responding, opening, wanting, needing him. And then there was a slight noise, a combination of a woosh and a thud.

A shadow loomed over them. She pulled back and Cerdewellyn was gazing down, his hand flat to his chest, over his heart, staring dumbly at the heavy, red flow of heart-blood soaking through his white shirt.

Virginia cried out and stood, looking everywhere around them, searching for the danger. A shimmer of yellow cloth glided out from the trees. The Queen came closer, her once beautiful hair dull in the light, her skin flushed. Her guards were with her, one holding a bow, the other an axe.

“
He is not dead,” the Queen said. “He is a deity. They do not die so easily. Look.”

Her heart thundering, Virginia looked back, saw that Cer’s chest still rose and fell. He lay on his back, staring at the ground, but where the arrow pierced his heart, vines were growing. They were snaking out of his chest and twining up the wooden shafts, stretching over his body, coiling over his legs, even towards her, forcing her to scramble away.

“
He is healing. That is what it means to be immortal.” Here, she smiled at Virginia. “The same cannot be said for you.”

The Queen pulled out a short sword from her tunic and advanced. Virginia looked to the guards, half-men and half-abomination, creatures the Queen had created with her darkest magic and Virginia saw their empty minds gazing back at her. They would not help her. She looked around wildly. Saw no one to aid her.

She screamed.

“
Virginia, Virginia, did you think I would let you take him? My king. My crown. My people and 
my
 land. They all bow to you. You cast me glances, Every day you look at me like I am a fool. As if I will 
take
 it. As if being a Queen was your destiny. And now you have none. You are a fate that never was.”

Virginia felt a hand in her hair, a guard grabbing her from behind, pulling her neck taut. She threw herself backwards, trying to think of 
anything
 she could do to escape. She kicked and screamed, struck out with her hands, raking her nails down the guards hand and arm, feeling skin come away because she dug so deep into his flesh. 
Delay the moment
. 
Fight. Someone will come.

She looked at Cer, met his gaze as he begged her to keep fighting. Tears filled her eyes, clogged her throat as she fought the guard who held her. The Queen moved closer but Cer moved his arms, almost able to stand and save her. 
Another moment and he’ll save me, one more, just one—

The blade sliced her throat, slipping across her jugular cleanly. Delicately. A small, insignificant line across her throat. Her life pulsed out in huge liquid gasps. Her vision narrowing down to the pond in front of her, to Cerdewellyn on the ground, still covered in snaking vines. The final blow came, severing her head from her neck, and she didn’t feel a thing.

The queen worked quickly, kicking the girl’s head out of the way and turning her attention back to Cerdewellyn. His eyes were blinking, the vines receding. Where the arrow had been, there was now only a fine pile of mulch. The arrow devoured and composted, returned to its natural state. Cerdewellyn breathed deeply and coughed, looking up into his Queen’s familiar blue eyes.

She shook her head sadly at him. “You lost, Cerdewellyn. You lost to Lucas because you were too late to act. You lost your people because you were too weak to open the portal. And now you have lost her, too. So blind to the treachery around you.”

She stabbed him in the chest, pinning him to the earth with her blade, and then snapped her fingers to the waiting guards. “You’ll be as close to dead as I can get you, here in your realm.”

The guards worked quickly, hacking Cerdewellyn into pieces: feet, legs, arms, then his head and torso. But the
heart
—
his
 heart she took for herself. She clenched it in her fist. The part of him that he’d once given to her and then taken away, she now had again. She alone would dispose of 
this
 piece.

He would have killed her. Replaced her with Virginia Dare. Did he think her a fool? There had been a queen before her too. She knew that her death was required for Virginia Dare to rise. And Cerdewellyn, an antiquated man from another time, had assumed she would behave honorably. Put their people first, let him kill her and transfer her magic to Virginia Dare.

Lucas had won because he was aggressive. Before anyone could scream for help, he had already acted. That was something she had learned from the vampires. Something Cerdewellyn had never comprehended.

The victor always strikes first.

Chapter 
14

Valerie picked up the phone and exhaled deeply. Took another breath in. Another breath out. Looked at the phone and imagined a hundred different ways this conversation could quality as the ‘worst phone call ever. ’

She was being ridiculous. There was no reason to get flustered. She’d just stay focused on the goal. 
Call Lucas, tell him I will go to Roanoke. Skip lots of painfully awkward questions and emotional upheaval, maybe talk about the weather instead. Will I need a coat in Roanoke?

Argh!

She tried to remember their last conversation. The one where he’d stripped down and flaunted his body like a waiter with a stacked dessert cart, hoping she’d lunge over and shove her face into his huge…piece of cake.

‘
When you come back, this changes. ’
 Wasn’t that what he’d said? Man, someone really needed to tape record those big moments. They always seemed hard to remember in retrospect.

She shivered at the memory of his words, the look on his face. The general shirtlessness.

What a slut! Her relationship with Jack had 
just
 fallen apart, and she was ready to jump on Lucas’ bandwagon? No, all she was doing was calling him to tell him that she was ready to go to Roanoke. She had no intentions of doing anything shirtless.

Who was she kidding? Intentions, inshmensions. She’d probably be flat on her back the moment she saw him. They might as well just bury her in a Y shaped coffin. Jack’s words came back to her—‘
Just keep your legs closed. ’

She’d never forgive him or forget the look of disgust on his face. The fact that he wouldn’t listen to her. He’d made her feel ashamed and stupid. Her actions 
were
 stupid, she knew that! That was why she’d brought it up! He was supposed to listen to the words, not just assume she 
liked
 being coffin bait.

Frankly, she never wanted to see Jack again. But Jack would be back. When would he track her down? Tomorrow? A week from now? And he’d demand she find the Fey. So fuck it. She’d do the right thing, but she wouldn’t bring Jack. If she wanted Jack to come out of this alive, she had to make sure they didn’t meet.

Maybe she shouldn’t call Lucas yet. She’d just buried her father. Some of her laundry from Hawaii was still sitting in the corner of her room. Waiting sounded like a wonderful idea. She only needed a decade or two.

But if she waited, Jack would show up again and demand to go with them to Roanoke. Talk about disaster. Jack and Lucas looking daggers at each other. Jack trying to kill Lucas, her hoping Lucas was feeling magnanimous enough to not kill Jack.

She’d get it over with. Go to Roanoke, figure out that faeries existed only in Disneyland, and then she’d ditch them both. Maybe look up Ian, see if he was still on the hunt for an issue-laden American.

Her palms were sweaty, and she had that twisty feeling in her stomach where she thought she might dash to the bathroom and have to decide if it was a sit-or-stand situation.

She looked around her room for a moment, still stalling. Her pretty, pink room that her mother had decorated for her. Before she was killed by a vampire. And now Val was going to call Lucas, King of the Vampires, and tell him she was willing to help him. 
And probably bone him.

Oh shit
.

She dialed the number quickly, heard it ring, and had her voice-message all planned out. He’d never answered before. In fact, there was probably nothing to be worried about. Not at all. She almost wondered if he 
ever
 answered the ph—

“
Hello?”

Oh fuck!
 Her mouth hung open as she tried to remember the English language. “Lucas, it’s me. Umm… Valerie,” she said feeling like someone should congratulate her for remembering her name. She knew, even with that one word that it was Lucas. She knew because her nipples pebbled, her breathing hitched, and she plopped back onto the bed bonelessly.

“
What’s wrong?” he said, voice clipped.

Her chest went tight, and her lower lip felt like trembling. She wanted to say things to him, tell him what was wrong because… he’d listen? He cared? He made it seem like her problems were something she’d move beyond? She tried to think what to say. She’d expected voice mail! She must have waited too long because he spoke again.

“
Are you in danger? Shall I come to you?” His tone was distant and hard, like she meant nothing to him.

“
No. I’m fine.” She swallowed. “You know where I am?”

A lengthy pause. “No.”

How come she couldn’t choose a guy who used lots of words and explained himself? Val sighed, staring at her bedspread, picking at a pink flower whose edge was coming up. “I’ll help you find the Fey.”

Another long pause. Maybe he didn’t want her help anymore. Why would he? What the hell was 
she
 going to do anyway? She was half-convinced the whole thing had just been a ploy to get into her panties in the first place.

She wasn’t ‘super’ anything. Not ‘super’ powerful, ‘super’ tough. Crap, she wasn’t even ‘super’ hot, smart or thin.
Oh wait. I’m ‘super. ’ ‘Super’ ordinary.

But then she’d rejected him, ditched him for another guy and was now crawling back. She could hear it, feel it in her marrow—he was done with her. He didn’t want her anymore.

“
What has happened?” he said impatiently.

“
Nothing.” More lower lip trembling. She heard breathing over the phone. 
Oh no, it’s mine!
 Val shifted the phone, flushing. She’d sounded like an asthmatic Pug, panting down the line.

“
You would come with me to Roanoke? Meet me there?”

“
Yeah. Sure. Umm…but…Jack wants to come, too.” Her eyes were squeezed shut as she said it, like that would somehow lessen the blow. Why the hell had she said it anyway? She didn’t want Jack to go. Was it to try and provoke Lucas, get some indication that he might be jealous? 
That was stupid, Valerie. 
She hadn’t meant to mention Jack. But she’d gotten flustered.

Big silence. “No.”

“
Lucas—” She heard him exhale, and it raised goose bumps on her skin.

“
Valerie, I want to have this conversation in person. Is Jack there now?”

“
No,” she said a little sullenly.

The line disconnected, and she went to hit redial again.

Her doorbell rang and she squealed like a thirteen year-old with Justin Bieber at the door. Val’s heart began to pound and she went into frantic panic mode.

She looked in the mirror. 
Yikes!Don’t do that again.
Why hadn’t she put on makeup? Why hadn’t she done her hair, or in any way anticipated that he might show up?