Love Left Behind (22 page)

"Hold on, baby.
I'm going to fuck you senseless."

Jackson thrust into me
again and again and I clung onto the headboard, each plunge of his erection
bringing me closer and closer to screaming. I cried out when the sensations
overtook me, hearing Jackson yell out behind me as he shot into me, holding my
hips in place so that I didn't lose a drop of him.

We collapsed on the
bed, Jackson pulling me close. He kissed me softly, as much reverence in his
kiss as there had been ferocity during our lovemaking.

"I love you,"
he said softly. I snuggled in close to him, believing that I would never feel
happier than I did in this moment.

"I love you
too."

We lay in bed until it
was time to get ready. We took a shower together, enjoying the simple feel of
our hands sliding over each other's bodies. I put on a white summer dress and
sandals, pulling my hair up on the sides with barrettes. Jackson looked
casually handsome in a pair of khaki shorts and a green polo that made his eyes
seem even brighter. We were dressing casually since we were going to an outdoor
party on the beach.

Jackson fingered the
diamond pendant around my neck, something that I never took off.

"Pretty soon, I'm
going to put a diamond on your finger."

I held my breath, not
expecting those words from Jackson. I knew we loved each other and we had
promised to spend the rest of our lives together, but we had never actually
talked about marriage. As much I loved Jackson, it seemed too soon to talk
about getting married. I couldn't forget that I had just recently broken an
engagement and taken another man's ring off my finger. I knew that I eventually
wanted to marry Jackson, but not until the time was right.

I didn't say these
things to Jackson, because I didn't want him to think I wasn't committed. I
was. I was also scared that everything would change once we got engaged.

"I'm happy whether
or not I have a ring on my finger."

Jackson smiled,
brushing my lips with his. "I'll be even happier when I know you're mine
forever."

I gazed at Jackson, my
love for him shining out of my eyes. "I already am."

"We better get out
of here before I'm tempted to get you naked again," Jackson said huskily.

I grabbed his hand,
pulling him toward the bedroom door. "Let's go. One more round with you
and I'm not going to be able to walk straight."

The lobster bake was
only a few houses down from us so we had the luxury of walking to the party.
When we got there, the party was already in full swing with people milling on
the beach while others were stretched out on blankets. There was a huge fire
pit with dozens of large pots, which Jackson explained were full of lobsters.

We mingled amongst the
crowd socializing and Mia introduced us to the hostess, a woman in her
mid-thirties who looked like she had stepped out of a fashion magazine.

After a while, Jackson
and Nathan spread out a blanket that they had brought from the house and went
to get plates of food while Mia, Claire and I settled down. We cheered when
they came back with plates heaped with lobsters, boiled potatoes and ears of
corn. The food was amazing, tasting even better because we were eating them
outside with the salt of the ocean in the air.

Jackson reached over
with a particularly large chunk of lobster, putting it in front of my mouth. I
took it with relish, resisting the temptation to lick the butter off his
fingers since we weren't alone. Jackson grinned as he watched me eat but I had
gotten used to his gaze on me. I wasn't one to judge since I always seemed to
be lusting after him.

After we finished
eating, Nathan, Mia and Claire went to mingle, but Jackson and I stayed on the
blanket. I settled in between his legs that were drawn up, resting my back
against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, cradling me close, and we
just watched the waves break in the ocean, content with being silent in each
other's company.

"Right now, life
is perfect," Jackson said softly, breaking the silence.

I nodded, although I
felt a flicker of fear that things would change if Jackson got the part in the
movie.

"Let's remember
what this feels like right now," I whispered. "Whatever happens,
let's remember this moment. It's ours and no one can take it away."

Jackson stilled, and
then gently lifted my face up by my chin so he could see into my eyes.

"What do you mean,
whatever happens?"

"I just mean that
we should remember this moment, even during the bad times. We're bound to have
a few in the future, especially since you're incorrigible." I smiled to
gentle my words, hoping that my lie sounded convincing.

Jackson grinned,
tightening his arms around me. "Don't worry, I'll always let you win our
fights if we have make-up sex afterwards."

The rest of the weekend
flew by as we spent lazy afternoons on the beach and nights out at parties. I
was relieved to receive a call from Janet on Sunday evening, because I had been
worried that I hadn't gotten an email back from her confirming that she had
received the presentation.

"I'm sorry I
haven't gotten a chance to look at the presentation you sent me," Janet
said, sounding harried.

"Is everything
okay?" I was concerned because I had never heard Janet sound so
distracted.

"My mother gave us
a scare this weekend," she replied, sighing heavily. "She collapsed
on Saturday and she didn't wake up until today. The doctors think she's having
a heart valve failure but they're not sure."

"I'm so sorry to
hear that." My throat tightened in sympathy. It was impossible not to
think about my father anytime I heard about someone having heart problems.
"Will you still be in the office on Tuesday?"

"Yes, she's
stabilized and they're transferring her to a hospital in New York, so I'll be
in. I don't think I'm going to have a chance to look at your presentation
before the meeting. Everything is updated, right?"

"Absolutely. I
triple-checked everything so it should be good to go for your meeting."

"Thanks, Emma.
It's a relief to have one less thing I have to worry about. I'll see you on
Tuesday."

"See you
Tuesday."

That was the only
damper on a glorious weekend and I was sad to leave the Hamptons on Monday
evening when we drove back to New York. I stayed at Jackson's apartment since
we weren't going to see each other for a week even though he was leaving on an
early morning flight. That night, Jackson made love to me as if he was trying
to brand me with his touch, and I eagerly matched his intensity.

"Good luck,"
I said with a quick kiss the next morning on the sidewalk in front of Jackson's
apartment. We hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Jackson had been anxious
about the audition and I had been anxious about everything, from Janet's
presentation to what would happen once Jackson got on that plane.

"Thanks. I'll call
you tonight, although I'm not sure what time since I don't know what my
schedule will be like."

"No problem. Just
text me when you land so that I know you got there safely."

Jackson pulled me in
for a longer kiss, his lips soft and gentle on mine.

"I love you."

"I love you too,
Jackson."

Jackson hailed a cab
for me and I waved as the cabbie drove away. I turned to look through the
rearview window and saw Jackson hail his own cab to take to the airport. I
turned back and sighed. It was going to be hard not having Jackson around all
week, but maybe it was good to get used to it in case we had to have a long
distance relationship.

I pushed thoughts of
Jackson out of my head when I got to work. I was surprised that I had beaten
Janet to the office since she was always there before me, but it was understandable
with everything going on with her mother.

"How was your
weekend?" Celeste asked. We had a routine where I would tell her about my
weekend and then she would complain about her husband. It was funny, because I
knew that regardless of what she said, Celeste doted on her husband. I
routinely overheard her conversations with her husband on the phone since she
sat right next to me and they were positively lovey-dovey.

"It was good. The
Hamptons was amazing. And I think I ate my body weight in lobster."

"All I did was sit
around a hot apartment and watch my husband clip his toenails on the coffee
table," Celeste complained loudly. I stifled a laugh at the image her
words conjured up.

I started to get
nervous when it was ten-thirty and Janet still hadn't arrived. Her meeting was
at eleven o'clock and although Canonfield's office wasn't very far away, it was
still cutting it close. Especially with traffic.

I was debating whether
to call Janet on her cell phone when she rushed in, looking harried and stressed.

"Emma, can you
come into my office?" she said as she walked quickly past me and into her
office. I grabbed the disk with the presentation and followed her.

"I didn't think I
was going to make it on time," Janet said, pushing her hair out of her
face and grabbing a file folder from her desk. She kept her bag with her laptop
inside slung over her shoulder, clearly not intending to sit down before
rushing over to Canonfield's office.

"Do you have the
presentation on disk? I don't want to have to wait to download it from my
email."

"Here you
go," I said, handing it to her.

"Great. I have to
get out of here. Wish me luck!"

I was barely able to
get out "Good luck" before she was gone. I prayed that she would make
the meeting on time since I knew her superiors were watching her closely with
this account.

I tried to busy myself
with work, but my mind kept drifting to Jackson. It was a five-hour flight to
L.A. so he was still in the air, but I couldn't help wondering how he was
feeling. I was hoping he wasn't too nervous. No matter what my reservations
were about what the distance would do to us, I fiercely hoped that Jackson got
the part. I wanted him to be happy, even if it meant that my happiness was
dimmed.

It was almost one
o'clock and I was discussing lunch options with Celeste when Janet returned.
She had an unreadable look on her face as she approached me and I couldn't tell
if the meeting had been a success.

"Emma, come into
my office."

Her tone was odd and I
tensed, hoping nothing had gone wrong. Celeste raised her eyebrows at me,
clearly hearing Janet's odd tone as well.

I followed Janet into
her office, closing the door behind me and sitting down. We usually kept the
office door open but I had a feeling that Janet wanted it closed today.

She sat down heavily in
her chair and propped her elbows on her desk, folding her hands in front of
her.

"Emma, when I
opened the presentation, none of the changes had been made."

I froze, looking at her
disbelievingly. I had checked the presentation over and over again, making sure
every detail had been perfect. I couldn't accept what Janet was telling me now.

"There has to be
some mistake," I said, shaking my head. "Janet, I checked and
rechecked the presentation. I know I made all the changes."

Janet sighed heavily, looking
more disappointed than angry. Her disappointment in me hurt more than anything
else.

"The meeting was a
disaster. The points I was making didn't match up to the presentation. I didn't
realize the changes hadn't been made until I was a third into the presentation.
Those last minute revisions were because Canonfield made some changes in the
direction they were going with their new products. Now it looks like Mass Comm
didn't listen."

I clenched my hands
into fists on my lap, not knowing what to say or do. It felt insufficient to
keep protesting that I had made the changes. Worse, it sounded like I was
calling Janet a liar.

"I don't know what
to say, Janet. I could have sworn I made all the changes."

Janet leaned back in
her chair, looking tired and worn out. I remembered that a failed presentation
wasn't the only thing on her mind.

"I can't tell you
how disappointed I am, Emma. I really trusted you. You were doing so well and I
really thought this was the right place for you."

I could feel my eyes
filling with tears and I desperately tried to keep them at bay. The last thing
I needed was to humiliate myself by bawling.

"I wish I didn't
have to do this, but I have no choice. I have to let you go."

I nodded jerkily,
shocked by her words. I took a deep breath, willing my tears to subside. I
spoke when I was in control of my emotions again.

"Will you be okay?
I mean, did you lose Canonfield as a client?"

Janet looked pained by
my question. "I'm not sure yet. I have to wait to hear back from
them."

"I guess...I guess
I'll leave now," I stuttered, rising unsteadily from the chair.

Janet nodded, massaging
the furrow of her brow. "That's a good idea. You can collect your things
and H.R. will be in touch with you about the termination process."

I walked to the door and
opened it but before I stepped out, I turned around. "Is your mother
okay?"

Janet looked at me
silently before answering. I had no idea what was going through her mind. I
hoped she didn't think it was some last-ditch attempt to try to wheedle a way
to keep my job. I knew that was impossible. I just understood how painful it
was to have a parent in the hospital. How quickly you could lose them.

"She's doing
better, thanks. They're monitoring her heart and think she'll be able to go
home soon."

I nodded and left,
closing the door behind me. I went to my desk, moving on autopilot as I
retrieved my purse from my desk. I stuffed the picture of Jackson and me in my
purse as well as a mug Jackson had given me with a picture of the
Imagine
memorial on it. I desperately
wished that I could talk to Jackson now, but he was in an airplane heading
towards his dreams.