Love Lessons (30 page)

“You said there was talk of fighting if they denied him tenure. Can they fight for this?”

“Well, funny you should ask.” Walter told Kelly about Rose’s binder of aggression and the work he’d done on it so far.

Kelly listened while Walter bared his soul for over an hour, flipping from strategy to outrage to nervous predictions about what this all might come to. It hadn’t been what Walter intended to do, but once he got going, he couldn’t seem to stop himself, not until he was past Bloomington. That was when he realized how long he’d kept Kelly on the phone, how long he’d been gabbing on.

“Jesus, I’m sorry. Do you need to be with your family?”

“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m here alone until four when Lis gets home, at which time I get to drive her to youth group and come back to start dinner. Well, I don’t have to do the last part, but with everyone so stressed out, I thought it would be a nice surprise. Besides, apparently I’m going to be eating a lot of rice and beans unless I go find us some affordable vegetables.”

“In Minnesota in winter. Good luck with that.” The idea that the Davidsons were penny-pinching that hard made Walter feel guilty, especially when he knew he’d probably blow a few hundred dollars in junk takeout over the next few days. “When I come see you, I’ll bring a belated Christmas present of gourmet almond-free vegan goodies from Whole Foods.”

“God, could you come now?”

Walter wished he could. He’d had one passive-aggressive text come through from his mother this morning already. “Soon as I can, baby. Let me know when will work.”

“I already talked to Dad, and Mom a little. I think pretty much whenever you want after Christmas. Except I’ll warn you now my dad’s going to try and pay for your gas at least one way.”

“That’s crazy, but I get it. Manly pride. Well, I’ll slip a gas gift card in the food basket.”

“I miss you, Walter.”

Kelly’s confession wasn’t plaintive, only slightly wistful, which somehow made it wedge that much harder into Walter’s heart. “Miss you too, Red.”
Like an arm.

“Don’t ever hesitate to call or text. If I can’t answer, I’ll call back as soon as I can. I want to hear how everything goes at home. And don’t let your mom get to you. You can be there for her, but you don’t need to bleed too.”

“Yes, sir.” The words didn’t come out quite with the mockery he’d wanted to lighten them up. He shifted his grip on the phone. “You call me too, anytime. I want to hear what you make for dinner, to start.”

“How about I call you later tonight,” Kelly said, his voice dropping to a seductive—if not slightly shy—tone.

Slow heat unfurled over Walter’s weary worry. “How about you do that. With your door locked and your pants off.”

“Mmm.” Kelly sounded less embarrassed now. “You know, I always wanted to try phone sex.”

Walter just bet he did. “I haven’t done it either. We’ll be virgins together.”

“God.” Kelly sighed. “I know this is pathetic, but I really hate that it’s going to be a week at the very least until I see you.”

Walter smiled, aching heart warming. “Well, that makes two of us who are pathetic, then.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

It turned out Kelly and Walter were a natural phone-sex couple, and Walter went to bed that night sated and more comforted than he’d expected after witnessing his mother and Tibby’s row at dinner. He wondered, as he drifted off to sleep, if that technique could work all break long.

The next morning, however, ushered in a full day of undiluted family, making it clear the confrontations and meltdowns would continue to jar his day at any given moment and usually when he was the most vulnerable. Like after fielding an upset call from Rose or realizing he was going to be lucky to see Cara once during his entire break, unless he skipped his Minnesota visit and hung around her back door. The few emails he’d exchanged with Williams didn’t help matters either—not that much would happen between the announcement and the end of break, but inactivity felt like lost ground. By the end of the first weekend he’d convinced Rose to let the Facebook group start, and it was heartening to see more than eighty people join in the first thirty hours. Everyone was full of outrage and ideas, and most of them had letters drafted, ready to submit to the school paper, or already submitted to the board. Mostly they were continuing to make plans, but it felt like progress, and progress was good.

His mom and Tibby were dual lead weights putting drag on any momentum toward even fleeting happiness at home. Worse, somehow Walter had internally become a drama queen—little things, sometimes tiny events, upset him. Each subtle dig they took at each other over breakfast, each fit over when Tibby would be allowed to go to the barn or buy Harper a new blanket set him on edge. Every one of his mother’s sighs while she washed dishes or flipped through a magazine made him tense up. He felt stupid, because there were no more big fights after that first night, but Walter reacted worse to that somehow than bloody knock-downs at every meal.

Kelly tried to soothe him, but that he needed soothing at all made Walter feel that much more ridiculous, so he took to soft-pedaling his reactions even though he ached to vent the odd emotions he couldn’t seem to control. He kept his focus forward, on his impending familial obligations and on his now-established trip to Windom on December 27. They’d decided to stay in Minnesota through the third of January and would make up their mind about spending the last six days there or in Chicago later.

In the meantime, unfortunately, Christmas had to be dealt with.

Walter had fun shopping for Kelly and his family—he still planned to get a big food basket on his way out of town, but in the meantime he dealt in non-perishables, like the vintage leather jacket in Boystown that had started it all and a swath of
Doctor Who
figures Kelly had picked up but put back down. He bought the
Corruptible
T-shirt too, and a less suggestive but still sassy
Registered Princess
one for Lisa. Never mind that Gaymart generally sold that one to proudly swishy gay men. Kelly’s parents were more difficult, mostly because he knew they’d be upset if he spent too much, though Walter very much wanted to give a token to each to show his willingness to please and impress them. He ended up getting Dick a handsome desk set at a Lakeview gift shop and a gorgeous mirrored chotskie box for Sue. Both were actually quite pricey but still seemed humble—they felt exactly like the message Walter wanted to send.

Not that Walter had any kind of a firm idea on what that message was.

Presents for his own family was the usual circle of hell, which made him sad, that he’d been so happy shopping for near-strangers but depressed making purchases for his flesh and blood. Part of the problem was nobody in his family wanted for money or things, so to make a splash with a gift he had to blow a serious wad, which wasn’t practical en masse and tended to make the next shopping season that much more impossible. As usual, he had to stick to predictable and boring. His sister was easy: listen for fifteen minutes about what it was she wanted from Dover Saddlery and then run to the Internet. His dad was even easier: golf balls, a few assorted crap ready-made gift sets from the Internet, and a big gift card. None of it was inspired, none of it would make them smile beyond the traditional thank-you version, half of it they’d not use or change their mind on by Christmas Day. Walter didn’t let himself care.

Grandma Marissa, his mother’s mother, was always the worst, because Shari Lucas hadn’t gotten her dark view of the world from a vacuum. After hours and hours of combing stores and online shops, Walter ended up ordering a handmade quilt from Etsy and hoping for the best. Probably she’d think it was shoddy construction or decide it was infested with bugs or something equally dismissive. If she didn’t like it, though, it would end up in Shari’s spare bedroom, and Walter could steal it for school.

Might as well be practical.

Grandma and Grandpa Lucas were moderately difficult, though that was only because they lived in New York. Since his parents’ separation, he’d barely seen them at all because they were angry with their son though hadn’t ever liked his wife. Grandma Claire wrote Walter letters every few months, and originally they’d intended to come to Chicago over New Year’s, but they’d started waffling on that even before Walter committed to Minnesota. It would have been nice to see them, but not nice enough to skip Kelly for. They spoke on Skype instead a few days before Christmas.

“You look tired, Walter,” his grandmother said, frowning at her screen. Walter wished he could look into her eyes. She had soft, grey ones that had always made him feel like she was magic. In fact, when he’d been a kid he’d called her his fairy grandmother.

“It’s been a little rough here,” he confessed to her, immediately wishing he hadn’t been so forthcoming. Why did he keep spilling his guts like that? He didn’t want her to worry.

Claire frowned. “Is it your mother? Or your worthless excuse for a father? Do you want us to come?”

Backtrack, Lucas.
“No, it’s fine. Just Christmas crazy.” He decided to distract her with something she’d love to hear. “I’m cutting out of Chicago right after Christmas too, so I’m getting ready for that. Heading up to Windom, Minnesota for New Year’s.”

“Minnesota?” Claire pulled a face. “Goodness, what for?” Walter smiled slyly in answer, and she gasped. “Walter Andrew, you scamp, do you have a boyfriend?”

“I do, Grandma,” Walter confessed.

It was fun to watch Claire clap in glee and pull Grandpa David over to look awkwardly happy for Walter too. In fact, for a full fifteen minutes Walter only had to grin and enjoy his grandmother melting down over the fact that she could finally talk about her grandson’s gay love life at the club.

“
Walter
, this is so wonderful. I’m so happy for you. You have to send me a picture. I’d ask if he’s cute, but with you, I know he must be.”

“He’s adorable.” God, now he wished he were going to see them. “If you guys come to Chicago, how long are you staying? Maybe I can arrange for you to meet him.”

Claire’s face fell. “It’s not going to work this time, honey, I’m sorry. But we’re going to make it work sometime in the spring, and I’d better meet your young man then.”

“Well, if we’re still dating then, sure,” Walter said, not wanting to tempt fate.

Claire waved an angry finger at him. “Don’t you even try that. You made me wait this long, you’re going to date him long enough for me to meet him.”

Walter laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

Claire’s smile promised trouble. “You know, we have gay marriage here in New York now, and I know the perfect place for a ceremony.”

“Grandma.”

She laughed, but the scary thing was Walter knew she wasn’t kidding. “I do want that picture. Regina Nelson has been bragging about her lesbian daughter dating a former model, and I want to at least keep pace.”

“I’ll email it as soon as I’m done,” he promised.

He ended up sending them a luxury gift basket full of wine and chocolate, which was less personal than he’d have liked, but it was clear his forwarded photo of himself and Kelly mugging for his phone was the gift she’d truly wanted.

Grandma Marissa arrived the same day as the present for the family from her ex-husband—not Shari’s biological father, but the father of her heart. It was the usual explosion of things none of them needed but desperately wanted, luxurious food, drink and condiments, iPad minis, noise-cancelling headphones, gift certificates to truly posh horse suppliers and tech companies and department stores, with a handful of exotic shops from Harrods of London to push the whole thing truly over the top. It was always this kind of a deposit, and the fact that it arrived on the same day as his ex-wife and her meager trolley of carefully hoarded and unwanted toys, was the only present the manipulative old bastard needed. Not that any of them but Shari shopped for him any longer.

Predictably, Marissa superseded all other meltdowns by locking herself in the guest bedroom and sobbing for hours while Shari knelt outside of it and wept with the determination of one still learning how to properly fall to pieces. Unable to stand it, Walter took Tibby to the barn and out to dinner afterward. His sister seemed appreciative but distant, and Walter understood the reaction: while it had probably been a very welcome move, she didn’t want to get too attached to the idea of him doing it again.

Walter felt guilty because even knowing he’d be abandoning her, he was still glad this was the case.

When he got back to the house, to put the icing on the cake he’d missed Cara stopping by—why she hadn’t texted to let him know she was coming, he would never understand. She brought a fruitcake—a fucking fruitcake—and a gift card to Amazon.

Grabbing a bottle of vodka, a shot glass and a bag of chips, Walter headed to the basement den to get drunk. He was pretty close to smashed when, at nine thirty, Kelly called.

“Hey, you,” he said, trying to scramble back into happy. “I didn’t expect your call tonight. I thought you were at your grandparents.”

“I am, but I still have a phone.”

Walter shut his eyes and drank in the beautiful sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “God, but I’ve missed you.”

“What’s wrong? And don’t give me that dismissive crap you keep giving me. Something’s really wrong this time, I can tell.”