Love Like Hallelujah (19 page)

“Lastly,” Millicent announced, handing out glossy pieces of paper, “these are the best ten rings I found on-line, for the commitment ceremony, in terms of quality, style, and price. I have a couple of favorites, but I’d like us to decide as a group which one is best for our girls.”

Since working on the Divine Daughters Celebration with the women’s fellowship, Open Arms had gone from being “the” church, to “my” church in Millicent’s mind, and the young women participating, “her girls.” She embraced the undertaking with passion, reminded once again of how fulfilling working on “God projects” could be. They were still almost four months away from the early December celebration, but Millicent had already finalized most of the details, including location, limousine company, caterer, and band for the evening program. An upcoming project for the girls would be writing, in their own words, what commitment meant to them, and the commitment they planned to verbalize to God. Then Millicent would have each one printed with gold-embossed ink on linen paper and framed, a memento to each participant of what the night meant. She and Leah planned to visit day spas to find the perfect one for the girls’ massages, scented steam baths, facials, manicures, and pedicures. This was going to be a formal, black tie event. Millicent wanted each girl to feel like Cinderella invited to the ball.

“They’re all so beautiful,” Leah exclaimed. “How can we make a choice?”

“What about choosing a different one for each girl?” Debbi asked.

“I thought of that,” Millicent said. “But in the end, I think it best that they’re all alike. That way there’s no friction with one girl thinking another girl’s ring is prettier or one wishing they had another, and so on.”

“You’re right,” Leah agreed. “With teenaged girls, we definitely need to keep the uniformity.” She pointed to a ring at the top of the page. “This one is truly beautiful. I like the simple design and the flowers inscribed around the band.”

Millicent smiled. That ring had been one of her favorites as well.

“I like this one,” someone else said, pointing to a shiny gold band outlined with a rope design and inlaid with small diamonds.

“I must say you ladies have great taste,” Millicent said, laughing. “Those are my two personal favorites.”

“How should we choose?” one of the ladies asked.

“As you can see, the rings are numbered,” Millicent answered. “I suggest we write the number of our favorite ring down, and the one with the most votes wins.”

“That’s easy enough,” Leah said. “Everybody agree?” Nods and affirmative responses followed. Leah went into the dining room and came back with blank pieces of paper and a box. “Okay, ladies, write down your choice and place them in this box. Millicent, you can tally ’em up.”

An hour later, the ladies had made their choice—the ring with diamond inlay—approved Millicent’s program outline, and finished off Leah’s blueberry coffee cake. Millicent, as usual, was the last to leave.

“Thank you for asking me to do this project, Leah,” Millicent said. “It has given me back something that was sorely missing, working in the church and especially with you wonderful ladies. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. But we’re the ones blessed. We appreciate you more than we can say. I’ve always enjoyed church work, too, and imagine you were pretty active back in Portland.”

“No, the church I attended in Portland was very small.” Millicent hesitated about clarifying her LA connection. “I was very active in a church in Los Angeles.”

“You
lived
in LA before? I thought you’d just gone there to organize the summit meeting.”

As close as Millicent and Leah had become, she didn’t want to say too much. One never knew who knew whom, and if possible, Millicent wanted to keep her debacle a secret forever. “Oh, it was a while ago.”

“Well, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” Then, changing the subject, “How is it a beautiful, intelligent woman such as yourself is still single? Answer me that one!”

I’d rather not
. “I guess everything happens in God’s perfect timing,” she answered diplomatically.

“No boyfriends, no prospects, no broken hearts scattered along the West Coast?”

Millicent laughed, but didn’t answer. Actually something interesting was happening. It was why she was anxious to return home and check her e-mail. A few men had answered her post on the dating Web site and one in particular, Theodore, had caught her interest. They’d e-mailed back and forth a few times and had finally decided to exchange pics and telephone numbers. She’d sent hers that morning before leaving. He’d promised to send his later. It should be there when she got home.

“Oh, goodness, I’ve got to run,” Millicent said.

Leah raised her eyebrows. It was unusual for Millicent to take off so quickly. Normally they’d walk, chat, or catch a Lifetime movie if an interesting one was on.

“I promised a friend on the East Coast I’d call before it got too late.” That wasn’t a lie. Millicent had told Alison about her foray into the Internet world and had promised to keep her posted. That would be her first call after she saw Theodore’s picture, finding out what her best friend thought.

Millicent thought about Theodore on the drive home. She liked him. He’d found it refreshing that she didn’t demand a picture immediately; they’d agreed to get to know each other a bit first. Looks, they both agreed, were often misleading. And physical attraction did not a long-term relationship make. As that was what they both were looking for, they’d decided to find out more about each other’s personalities, dreams, and plans for the future before exchanging pictures and telephone numbers.

That was two weeks ago. In that time, they’d e-mailed back and forth almost every night. That had been another different, interesting thing. Theodore had wanted to e-mail for a short while before exchanging phone numbers. He felt there was something about the written word, actually seeing what you’re thinking before pushing “send.” Millicent preferred the telephone, but had gone along with Theodore’s preference since he’d gone along with hers regarding the picture exchange. She’d actually gotten into it, looking forward to reading and responding to his witty letters. She’d never exchanged love letters or notes, so not only was it different, but also added to the uniqueness of the budding relationship.

So far, she knew that Theodore was intelligent, witty, thoughtful, and unassuming. He was forty-eight, had two children from a previous marriage, lived in San Diego, and was a motivational speaker. He’d not been in a relationship for a while, and was looking for a long-term commitment that would lead to marriage. He liked all things connected to the ocean including water skiing, snorkeling, and cruising along the coast in his sailboat.

Instead of dimming her desire, meeting Theodore had only made Millicent that much more excited to see Cy. Now she felt she could truly see him again without having her heart break.
Then why do you have to see him at all?
Millicent sometimes despised the good angel on her shoulder. “I don’t know why,” she said aloud. She only knew that she did, that for whatever insane reason, she had to see Cy again.

Ten minutes later, Millicent pulled into her garage. She unlocked her door, scanned her mail, then went to the fridge for a diet cola. Humming, she turned on her computer. The first item in her outlook was a response from Theodore. “Here I Am!” was in the subject line. She clicked on his mail.

Millicent’s heart fluttered as she read Theodore’s e-mail. Feeling a bit like a schoolgirl, she clicked on the attachment with his picture. They’d not described themselves at all, and Millicent was curious how he would look. Would his hair be blond, brown, black? What about his eyes? How was he built? For some reason, she’d pictured him with dark brown hair, brown eyes, and tall. In seconds, she’d see how close her imagination was to the real thing.

The picture downloaded, and for some reason was off-center. Millicent saw only trees, and had to scroll down to see the person standing in a grassy, mountainous area that looked to be northern California. When the picture of her secret correspondent of the past two weeks hit the screen, Millicent gasped. She could
not
believe it. Staring back at her were sparkling blue eyes in a familiar face, the face that belonged to her pastor, Jack Kirtz.

“No! This can’t be happening, I cannot
believe
this!” Millicent was excited and angry and embarrassed all at once. She thought back to every word of every e-mail they’d exchanged: the subtle flirtations, the double entendres, the joking comments about preferred positions and whether nighty or naked sleep was preferred. She’d told him she slept nude. She’d told Pastor Jack Kirtz she slept nude!

“Oh my God,” Millicent said, reaching for her phone. She sure hoped Alison answered, because she wanted someone to tell her she was dreaming, and to wake her up. As she reached for the phone, it rang. Private call.

“Hello?”

“Millicent, did you get my picture?”

Oh-my-God.

“Millicent, I know you’re there. Please, don’t hang up.”

Millicent was flabbergasted. Hanging up is
exactly
what she had in mind. “You said your name was Theodore!”

“Yes, probably for the same reason you said yours was Rose. My legal name is Theodore Jackson Kirtz, but I’ve been called Jack since childhood. Is Rose your middle name?”

Millicent couldn’t believe Pastor Jack was talking in a normal, conversational tone as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Well, is it?”

“Is what?” she said, exasperated.

“Rose, is it your middle name?”

“Yes, it is but, but, oh God, I’m so embarrassed. I cannot believe this.”

“Millicent, please, don’t be embarrassed. I think this is great, amazing even. It’s like Providence, Divine Order. There can be no other way to look at it.”

“But I never would have said—”

“Which is probably the exact reason why things unfolded the way they did. You would never have come from behind that wall you construct where I’m concerned, the wall that allows for nothing other than strict, professional, church business.”

“That’s not true.” It was true. “We’ve gone to lunch, we talk at the gym.”

“You never would have gone to lunch with me had you not wanted to talk about the celebration.” Jack paused. “Millicent, I don’t know what’s happened in your past, or what you’re afraid will happen here, but I’m a really simple guy. I’m human, with the same needs and desires as any other man on the planet. I want love, companionship, a confidante, best friend, nothing out of the ordinary. We’re both adults here. You liked me when you didn’t know who I was. Why can’t you continue liking me now that you do?”

“Because I can’t. I have a rule to not become involved with anyone at church or on the job.”

Jack was silent. He’d had that rule, too, until he saw Millicent. There had to be a reason she was being so adamant. However, he felt it best to tread lightly.

“But, why not? I think those are perfect places to meet people. We usually spend so much time there. There’s already common goals, common beliefs.

“Tell me something. If I weren’t the pastor of Open Arms, or you weren’t a member, would you go out with me?”

Millicent knew the answer was yes. She enjoyed Theodore, now Jack, and the lively e-mails they’d exchanged. She’d looked forward to the phone call until the moment her pastor’s face appeared on the screen. But it was too much, it was too complicated. Although it was completely different and irrational to think it similar, it felt too much like she and Cy. She knew it didn’t make sense, but that’s how she felt.

“Well, would you?”

“Look, Pastor Jack—”

“Oh boy, there’s the wall. I’m ‘Pastor’ again.”

“Look, Jack, there’s a lot about me you don’t know. A lot of…things have happened to make me think as I do. I just think it best to not pursue this. I’ve just become happy again for the first time in a long time, with the church, with the women’s fellowship. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”

“And you think going out with the leader of those sources of your happiness will do that?”

“What will people say?”

“For starters, who cares? But if it matters, we can be discreet, at least until we find out if this is something serious or not. But I think we owe it to ourselves to just see what could possibly happen here. That won’t cost you or me anything. Dinner, a movie, walks, just simple things, to talk and find out if the connection we made via the e-mails is something that can be sustained and built upon in real life.

“I’ll be honest, Millicent. I’ve been attracted to you from the moment I saw you on the beach. And look at all the things that happened, seemingly coincidental, that led up to this moment. First, the beach. Is it a place you go often?”

“No, that was the first time.” Come to think of it, Millicent had never gone back to that spot again.

“And then the gym, and us both being members there. And your deciding to accept my invitation and visit Open Arms.”

“Actually, uh, that wasn’t planned either.”

“What do you mean?”

Millicent told Jack what had happened, how she’d been shopping for furniture when she heard the harpist play.

“All the more reason,” Jack implored. “It would be ludicrous not to give this a shot. I’m sure you’ve heard the story about the man who was drowning and prayed for God to save him. A huge log floated by but the man didn’t grab it, wanted to show his faith by waiting on God. Then a rowboat went by and the occupant tried to help the man, but the man shouted he was waiting on God. Finally, a large ship threw out a life buoy for the man to grab, so they could pull him aboard. Again, the man declined, so he could receive a miracle. He didn’t, he died.

“When he got to heaven he searched God out, perplexed at how God could not answer the prayer of someone so faithful in tithing, in praying, in serving his fellow man. I’m sure you know the story. God tried to answer his prayer, and was turned down, three times.