Love Like Hallelujah (21 page)

Until five minutes ago, she was only in my life,
Tai thought, but didn’t verbalize. Sometimes silence was golden; this was one of those times. “What do you want to do?” she asked, after a moment’s pause.

Vivian wiped her eyes, reached for a tissue, and blew her nose. “I don’t know,” she said softly, staring off into the distance, trying to see the perfect life she’d left in the parking lot. “I really don’t know.” New tears flowed.

“I’m so sorry, Viv. This is all my fault. I just had to know about Kelvin, just had to know the truth.” She rubbed Vivian’s shoulders as Vivian sat with her head bowed. “I’m so sorry.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Vivian said. She wiped her eyes once more, straightened her shoulders, took a deep breath, and started the engine. “It’s Derrick’s fault. And Tootie’s. And now we’ve got one, big mess.”

Tai was silent, thinking back to the meeting with Tootie. Now the strange behavior made sense. Why she’d been so close-mouthed, why she hadn’t wanted to show a picture. She knew how close King and Derrick were, knew that they would have known immediately. So she’d told the basic truth. King was not Kelvin’s father. It’s what she hadn’t said that was today’s revelation.

“Has King ever mentioned anything that would suggest Derrick and Tootie had been together?” Vivian asked.

Tai gave Vivian a look. “Girl, King and I don’t talk too much about Tootie, trust.”

“I want so much to hold out for the small chance that Kelvin is not Derrick’s son. But he looks just like him…like Derrick spit him out. It’s not fair!” Vivian screamed, hitting the steering wheel with her hand. “We’ve tried to live a good life, follow the word, do what’s right. First, Robin brings her crazy ass into town, and now this. What is the devil going to throw at us next?” She looked at Tai for answers that Tai didn’t have.

The normally calm, cool, and collected Vivian Elise continued to rant. Tai completely understood. Now, it was her turn to soothe a troubled friend. “God won’t put on you more than you can bear, Vivian. I can understand how hard this is for you right now. But fear not. Trust God.”

Vivian’s heart clutched as she heard the door open. She sat in the den, alone, curtains drawn. D-2 and Elisia had gone shopping with Aunt Tai, in Vivian’s car. Tai had taken her packed things and made reservations to spend the night in a nearby hotel. She would wait there, with the kids, until Vivian let her know the coast was clear to bring them home.

“Hey, baby,” Derrick asked, kissing Vivian on the forehead. “I called you earlier, but you didn’t answer. Did you leave your phone on silent again?” When Vivian didn’t respond, Derrick sat down beside her. “Is something wrong, Vivian? What are you doing sitting here in the dark?”

Vivian turned to face her husband. “I need to ask you something, and I need a straight answer. I’ll explain why in a minute, but I need you to answer a question for me, honestly. Deal?”

Derrick hadn’t seen Vivian this serious in a long time. But there was nothing he wouldn’t share with his wife. His answer was immediate. “Sure baby, deal.”

Vivian took a deep breath. “Did you ever sleep with Tootie?”

“Whoa,” Derrick said, clearly taken aback. “Baby, where is this coming from?”

“I’ll explain in a moment. Just answer me. Did you ever have sex with Tootie Janeé Smith? Yes or no?”

Vivian barely breathed as she awaited the answer. Far away from Oxnard and the brown-eyed boy in the Best Buy store, she’d been able to be more rational. There were thousands, millions of boys that could resemble Derrick, she’d reasoned. How many brown-skinned boys had brown eyes? And what was so unusual about full lips and prominent cheekbones on a Black man? Those were common traits. She’d convinced herself that her initial reaction had been rash; that she’d jumped to conclusions, let her imagination work overtime. She could barely remember what the boy looked like now, and convinced herself that she’d gone overboard in her assumptions. She couldn’t believe she was being so silly. Why was she tripping, and involving Derrick as well? She needed to start the conversation over, and not assume she knew something she didn’t.

“Yes.”

Wait. Did I just hear Derrick say yes?
“Excuse me?” Derrick had answered softly. Maybe Vivian had misunderstood.

“Yes, Vivian,” Derrick said clearly. “I slept with Tootie. Half the basketball team slept with Tootie. But, baby, why are you asking me this? It was a long time ago, before I met you.”

“Oh, baby,” Vivian murmured. She felt like a weight was crushing down on her chest, making it difficult to breathe.

She grabbed Derrick’s hand. “Derrick, I have some news. I hope I’m wrong, but everything in me is saying I’m not. And this news is going to affect everyone, and everything, in our lives.”

Derrick’s mind was spinning. What news could Vivian possibly have about Tootie that had anything to do with them? He thought the saga with Tootie was over. Now that King and Tai knew Tootie’s boy was not theirs, he thought the book was closed. What did Vivian know? Only one way to find out. “Talk to me, baby,” he said.

Vivian did just that. She talked to him, told him everything: the real reason for Tai’s visit, how Tai had researched and found information on Tootie’s son. How they’d gone to Oxnard to find him, and did, in the Best Buy store. And how the boy was Derrick’s spitting image.

“What? Oh, hell no.” Derrick jumped up from the couch. “Baby, baby, look. I know you’re upset and I’m sure the boy must have borne a strong resemblance to me for you to react like this, but please, are you kidding me? You cannot be serious. There’s no way the child can be mine.”

“So you’re telling me you used a condom every time you guys screwed?”

“No, but—”

“Then how can you be absolutely positive the child isn’t yours? You know I’m pretty levelheaded Derrick. I’m not prone to go off on ridiculous tangents. And I don’t want this to be true any more than you do, believe me. But I can’t deny what my eyes saw, and I’m telling you, the boy looks like an older version of D-2, and a younger version of you.”

Derrick looked at her with skeptical eyes.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I’m sure you saw what you saw, but no, baby, I don’t believe the boy is mine.”

“Great, perfect. Let’s go back to the store. I want you to see for yourself.”

“You want us to get out right now, in rush-hour traffic, to Oxnard?”

“I want you to see what I saw; I want you to tell me I’m tripping. Believe me, I want to be wrong.”

“Vivian, you know tonight is Bible study.”

“Yeah, well, tonight we need to study something else. This is important to me, Derrick. Call Cy or one of the other associate ministers. I need you to do this for me.”

Derrick stared at Vivian for a moment. Vivian stared back. “Okay,” he nodded. “Let me change my clothes. You’re right, it’s probably best to nip this madness in the bud right now.”

He walked slowly out of the room, turning once to look at Vivian. She got up, put on her shoes, grabbed her purse, and walked to the doorway. She called Tai, told her the plans, and asked if she could keep the kids for the night.

“Of course, Vivian. Don’t worry about them, we’ll be fine. You will, too. I know it doesn’t look like it right now, but you’ll be fine, too.”

It was time to go back to Oxnard. Maybe Derrick was right. Maybe it was totally preposterous to think that Kelvin was his son. But Derrick had confirmed that he had slept with Tootie. So, preposterous? Maybe. Possible? Yes.

Stacy was happy and frustrated at the same time. Happy that she and Darius were dating. Frustrated that since that explosive first night, the dating had been strictly platonic.

His reasons had been noble enough, that he wanted to go slow, take his time. He reminded her he’d been married before and was cautious when it came to relationships. Yet he really liked her, respected her. He admitted that he’d had his eye on her, too, and that he was glad they were taking things to a new level. Then he’d mentioned the “C” word. He’d told her he was celibate.

Stacy felt as if she was walking a tightwire. On one hand, she wanted to take things one day at a time, too, not appear overanxious. It had taken her a long time to get to first base. She didn’t want to scare him off the field before she’d had a chance to hit a home run. Or get another real good look at his bat anyway.

On the other hand, they were both grown, and grown people had needs. Neither of them was a virgin, and she was on the pill. She didn’t see any problem with getting a little bit every now and then, especially since she’d seen what she’d be getting. They’d barely been dating a month, but Stacy had been patient for more than two years. She’d go along with his plan for a little while, but eventually, he’d have to go along with hers. She wanted to be with Darius in every way, and every moment they spent together intensified this desire. Whether it was a movie, or dinner, or sitting at home playing that murderous video game, Darius exuded the sexual energy Stacy craved.
Give it a rest, Stacy!
She stood up abruptly, deciding to find something else to occupy her mind. She was getting wet just thinking about Darius’s thickly built manhood.

Stacy gathered up the notes on the youth program she’d been working on with Tanya and headed over to the church. She didn’t even try and fool herself into thinking she wasn’t going over there with the hopes of running into Darius. He’d had to travel with Pastor Derrick unexpectedly the week before and wasn’t at church on Sunday. It had only been a few days since she’d seen him, but it felt much longer.

As usual, there were dozens of cars in the office parking lot. The staff at Kingdom Citizens numbered almost fifty, with a host of volunteers in and out every day as well. Upon entering the lot, Stacy looked around for Darius’s car, but didn’t see it. She pulled into the closest available space, by a yellow MG.

Hope, who’d met Cy at the church for lunch, was just coming out. “Hey, Stacy!”

“Hey, Hope. Long time no see.”

Stacy and Hope had met at one of the Montgomery summer dinners. They’d exchanged numbers and agreed to keep in touch, but Hope and Cy left town shortly afterward. This was the first Hope had seen Stacy since then.

“I know, and I’m sorry for not calling. Cy and I went out of town and stayed longer than expected.”

“Oh? Where’d you go?”

“Visiting family; Oklahoma, D.C.”

“You are one blessed sistah. You’ve got a few of the women seeing green in this place. Do you know how many had their sights set on Mr. Taylor?”

“I can imagine, and have felt more than a couple daggers at my back. It’s all God though. I’d have been the last one to believe Cy would be my husband.”

“How did you do it? How did you get him to commit?” Stacy frowned, looked toward the church. “Men are so skittish when it comes to a real relationship.”

“Hmm, sounds like this is coming from personal experience. Anybody I know?”

“Actually, yes.” While Stacy had talked to Tanya about Darius, there was only so much one could discuss with a man’s sister. Hope was married, so she was no threat to Stacy. She was new to the church and with all the jealousy, a bit isolated; little chance of Stacy’s business getting out. Not that she didn’t want
everybody
to know that she and Darius had a thing going—she did. It would be good to get another woman’s perspective. Hope seemed like good people. She liked her.

“It’s Darius,” she said after a thoughtful pause.

Hope hid her shock.
Darius? Does she know he’s gay?
“Darius Crenshaw?”

“Yes, our music director. Why are you looking so surprised?”

Hope tried to change her expression. Obviously she hadn’t hid her feelings well enough. “I just didn’t know he was dating anyone, that’s all.”

“We just started going out actually, about a month ago. But I’ve liked him for a long time and believe he’s the man for me. He really likes me, too, but wants to go slow, too slow. It’s driving me crazy.”

Hope didn’t know what to think. There were a zillion questions running through her mind. Did Stacy know about Darius’s past, or his present, for that matter? Were they having sex? Were they using protection? Was he still having sex with the man Frieda caught him with that night? Did that man know about Stacy?

“Believe me, I know
exactly
what you’re talking about. I was celibate for two years before marrying Cy, and there were times I thought I’d lose my mind if God didn’t send me my husband. But if I can give you some advice, some you probably don’t want to hear…Wait on God. Pray about this situation, ask God about Darius. And don’t rush things, Stacy. Everything will happen the way it’s supposed to, in God’s perfect timing.”

“You’re right; I don’t want to hear that. And between you and me, I’m not trying to be celibate for two more months, let alone two years. Girl, let me get in this church. You’ve got me talking crazy. I barely know you and I’m telling you all my business. See how not getting any is clouding up my mind?”

“Just don’t let it cloud your judgment,” Hope said in what she hoped was a lighthearted tone. She pulled out a card and gave Stacy her number again. “Call me this week, okay? I could use more friends up here and I really want us to do lunch or something soon. And don’t worry about your business; your story’s safe with me.” She opened her car door. “Remember what I said, now. Don’t do anything crazy.”

“Don’t worry. Darius seems to be making sure of that.”

“Good for Darius. That shows he’s a true man of God. You’ll appreciate that if things get serious. Call me.”

Stacy watched Hope drive away before turning toward the church offices. It just may be that in Hope, she’d found a perfect confidante.

“Ooh, give me that big dick, baby. Give it to me, hard, yes, just like that. Ahhhh.”

Bo growled. Darius moaned. Both men lay exhausted after intense orgasms. Darius gave Bo a quick kiss, rolled on his back, and looked at the ceiling.

Bo turned to face him. “That bitch ain’t
ever
gonna be able to give you what I just did.”

“I told you about calling her that. Her name is Stacy.”

“Well, Stacy needs to stay the hell on away from you.” He reached over and massaged Darius’s limp penis. “This will always be mine. Does she know that?”

“What she knows is that I’m celibate. I told you how I was gonna handle it. Why do you keep bringing her up?” Darius jumped out of bed and headed for the shower. “Stop being so insecure.”

Bo jumped up behind him, knew he’d crossed the line. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, following Darius into the bathroom and turning on the water for him. “I just know you’re going to see her tonight, and you’re going to ask her out to keep up this damn charade, and I’m jealous. I just can’t help it.

“That’s my dick. I don’t want anybody else touching it. Especially some funky old stank pussy. It would probably shrivel up like beef jerky as soon as it touched her stank hole.”

“Bo!” Darius said, laughing. Bo was jealous, possessive, obnoxious, overbearing, and funny as hell. He loved him.

“Just remember, I’m going to be checking my merchandise for use as soon as you get home. With a magnifying glass and everything, baby. Just call me Agent Double-oh-eight.”

“Don’t you mean Double-oh-seven?”

Bo looked down at his long penis. “No…eight.”

Darius laughed again. “You nut.”

Bo stepped in the shower. “Get on in here so I can bathe you. It’s almost time for your choir rehearsal. Are we still going to the party afterward?”

One of their wealthy gay friends was having an underground party, one of the many clandestine, strictly gay, male-only parties hosted all over Los Angeles on any given weekend. “Of course,” Darius said, leaning back as Bo expertly cleaned every nook and cranny of his body. “You know I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to show off my one and only baby.”

“Turn around, let me get your back.” Bo soaped him all over and hugged him from behind. He was grinning from ear to ear. Stacy might be able to be with him on the outside. But Bo was his on the inside, in his heart, where it counted.