Love Me ~ Without Regret (34 page)

“Alright, welcome to Crawford Falls University. Show of hands, how many of you will be living on campus?” I pause, no one raises their hand, not a single one. Thank God. That means I’m getting off early today. “Okay, then we’ll skip the dorm tour and finish this up quickly.” Everyone cheers.

After a quick introduction, I begin the tour with the chemistry building, following with the mathematics building, then the computer labs. As we are leaving one of the computer labs, I notice two guys have joined the back of the group. One of them I’ve never seen before. He’s tan and looks more like a bodybuilder than a college student. Looks a little older than a college student, too. He’s cute but definitely not my type. Bodybuilder is more Ryan’s speed. I stop and just stare at the second one, not believing what I’m seeing, my mouth hanging open a little. I snap it shut. That face is not one I thought I’d ever see again.

Kass Springer. The boy I loved, the one who disappeared, is standing at the back of the crowd staring at me in awe. He hasn’t changed much, still looks the same just a little older and maybe more bulky than before. Not as bulky as his friend, not even close, but more filled out than he was in high school. He’s smiling at me. Smiling! I could kill him. I cried for months, and if I’m honest, years over him. I return his smile with a glare as Ryan takes over the rest of the tour.

We make it to the library mall. Why they call it a mall, I have no idea. There’s only one library and it looks nothing like a mall. I tell the transfers about the library and the surrounding buildings and as I’m finishing up, Kass’s hand goes into the air. Ryan looks at me nervously—she must have caught the tension coming off of me in waves—but he doesn’t wait to be called on; he takes our short silence as permission to speak.

“You said students in the work study program can sign up to work in the library.” I nod my head. “Are you in the work study program?” Uh… really?

“Yes, that’s part of why I’m here today, giving this tour.” I gesture to the crowd as if he didn’t know they were there.

“So, what is your other work study job?” Is he for real? No, just no.

I turn around and begin walking the other direction, explaining which buildings we’re passing along the way. Behind me, I hear the group shuffle to catch up. Gah, I can feel him staring at my back and dammit, it gives me the chills just like it used to, which pisses me off.

We finish the tour quicker than usual and Ryan and I ride home together after a hasty exit. I love her perceptiveness probably about as much as I hate it. She drills me about him the whole way home and I reluctantly give her the details of the past he and I share. She swoons, the bitch. By the end of my story, she decides I should give him another chance. He hasn’t asked for one, and she’s being a tad presumptuous thinking he will. I really hope he isn’t here for me, and I honestly don’t know why he would be. He chose to leave, no one forced him to.

“Maybe he left for a good reason,” she says.

“He could have called or at least told me he was leaving beforehand. There is no reason good enough for him to just drop off the face of the earth one day.”

“You never know.”

“And I never want to,” I snap and she stops talking about it after that and I’m glad.

After leaving me to stew for a while in my room, Ryan begs me to go with her to the game. I refuse. I went to plenty of games last semester and it’s not much different from high school football. I’m still rooting for the losing team. I haven’t seen a winning game since Kass disappeared. He pretty much carried the football team at our high school. He’s also the reason I can’t go to the game tonight. Seeing him earlier was enough of a shock. I don’t think I could handle the constant cheering and yelling of his name. I don’t know for sure that he’s on the team, but Crawford Falls surely wouldn’t let him slide by. He could’ve gotten a full ride. Hell, maybe he did.

I’ve pretty much been sitting in my room trying to read since we got home from orientation. I haven’t really been successful. Thinking about the past is consuming me. I’ve gone over every detail of my relationship with Kass and I still can’t figure out why he would leave with no explanation. He was there one day and gone the next. No trace of him. I went to his parents’ house and it had been completely cleared out. All their phones had been cut off and I was never able to make contact. I ended up convincing myself he just didn’t want to be with me and in the process, I’d turned into a crazy woman searching for him.

Ryan cracks my door and sticks her head in. I hadn’t realized how late it was and that the game has probably already ended. “I know you’re in here sulking about Kass but you’re only hurting yourself.”

“I know.” She looks shocked I admitted it.

“So…” She opens the door the rest of the way and shoves a dark purple dress in front of her body, her eyes peeking out over the top, hiding the huge smile I know is underneath. “I thought we could go to the first frat party of the semester. I’ll even let you wear your favorite dress from my closet.” She waves the dress as if it’s dancing in the doorway. I laugh and her grin spreads. “What do you say? You love parties.” I don’t, but she does, and it would get my mind off of things.

“Fine, but I’m wearing your black pumps, too.” She squeals and jumps up and down, nodding her head.

Amazon

Table of Contents

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

eleven

twelve

thirteen

fourteen

fifteen

sixteen

seventeen

eighteen

nineteen

twenty

twenty-one

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Recommended Reads from the Author