Love on the Highlight Reel (Connecticut Kings Book 2) (25 page)

My phone buzzed in my hand, with another message from Nicki.

“I’M ABOUT TO HANDLE MYSELF!!!!!! - Nicki”

“Didn’t I tell you to relax?! I’m right outside the door, damn.”

I hit send on the text, then raised my card to try one more time, but the door flew open, and there she was… without a single stitch of clothing on.

Her eyes were seductively low, hair hanging loose around her shoulders, silky and sleek from her trip to the salon. She flipped it out of her face, then propped a hand on her hip, posing. “Are you coming in, or not?” she asked, even though she damn well knew the answer.

Still, I hung back, leaning in the doorway as I looked her over. “Depends on what you’ve got planned.”

“My plan?” She smirked. “I
plan
for you to fuck me until every bit of stress from this day disappears.”

I shook my head. “So I’m doing all the work? I don’t know if I like that plan.”

“I’m willing to negotiate,” she said, walking away to grab her glass of wine from the counter.

“I’m listening.”

She took a long swig, draining the glass, then cast a disdainful glance at what I suspected was an empty wine bottle before she looked at me again. “How about I do what I threatened to do earlier?”

I grinned, then closed the door, stepping inside to join her at the counter. My hands went to her waist, pulling her against me, and I marveled at how perfectly she seemed to fit. “That sounds
very
enticing. And then after we’re done, we can… I don’t know… do some normal couple shit. Just ride around, go to a movie, something like that…”

I already knew it was a long shot, before it came out of my mouth, but it still made my throat tight when she stiffened in my arms at the suggestion. To her credit, she really did seem remorseful when she looked up at me and shook her head, but still… this secrecy shit was wearing on me.

“Right,” I said, stepping away from her. “You can answer the door at the hotel ass-naked, but taking you a fucking drive… that’s just too much. Forgive me for asking.”

She jerked her head back. “Jordan, you know that’s not fair,” she said, crossing her arms. “You know
why
we’re doing this, and I thought you understood. Especially after the day I’ve had, with executives scrutinizing every little thing I’ve done this season. Even being here tonight is a risk!”

I sucked my teeth. “Don’t act like you did this shit for me. It was selfish, and you know it. Don’t act like it was about anything else.”

Cole’s lips parted, but nothing came out as she shrank back toward the counter.

“See?” I shook my head. “It just fucking hit me, since you can’t even deny the shit. All you’re concerned about is sex. Here I am, thinking I can relax with you, and nah… you can’t even get in the damn car with me, but we can bounce around the hotel all you want?”

“It’s
not
like that!”

“Man, the hell its not,” I said, waving her off. “I tell you what… if it’s
not
like that, call me when we can do something besides look at these same four walls. Until then, I’ll holla.”

And I was serious about that shit too.

I ignored whatever bullshit she was trying to feed me in the moment, and left her in the suite alone. Did I want her? Hell yes, I did. But if all she wanted was somebody to screw her on demand… she could find somebody else for that.  I could get sex from anybody. With Nicki… it wasn’t supposed to be about that.

I wasn’t settling for anything less.

Sixteen

Maybe I’m tripping.

That thought ran through my head several times over the next couple of days, but didn’t resonate enough for me to act on it. The fact that Cole hadn’t even tried to contact me except through Margo about some contract shit, didn’t help.

Nevermind that I didn’t try to contact her either.

But I was pissed.

Wounded, honestly.

I thought we were in a good enough place by now that she would let go of that secrecy shit, but she was holding on, and I just didn’t
get it. 
Why the fuck was being with me something she had to be secretive about? Was she making sure that when she dropped my ass this time, she wouldn’t have to answer to anybody else?

Whatever it was… after damn near a month, I wasn’t down anymore.

I wasn’t playing this “fuck buddy” game with her.

“Meet me at Roll Play, tonight at seven. – Nicki.”

I rolled my eyes about getting that, after days of not hearing from her. I was still pissed, but intrigued enough about her asking me to meet her at a public place – a supposedly
sentimental
place for us – that I did as directed.

I went to Roll Play at seven.

I narrowed my eyes at the empty lot as soon as I rolled up, but I told myself not to sweat it. As soon as I walked in, I saw Nicki, looking good as ever in a cream-toned sweater dress and dark brown boots, with her hair pulled into a high ponytail. I couldn’t help my grin about the ponytail – her signature style through college.

“Hey,” she said quietly… nervously, as I approached her. “You didn’t respond to my text, so I was scared you wouldn’t come.”

I shrugged, looking around the empty tables, knowing that this place was
always
popping, even on weeknights. “Well, I’m here. What is this?”

She smiled. “This is my way of showing you – hopefully – that it’s not just about sex. I was able to talk to the owner, explain the… sensitivity of the situation. He actually remembered us, from the location near Blakewood. So, he was willing to let me pay him to close the place for a day, so we could have it to ourselves. For a date night.”

Wow.

“So… let me get this right,” I scoffed, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “I get pissed off about you wanting to keep us a secret, and your solution is… to keep us a secret?” The smile melted off her face, turning into a look of distress, but I wasn’t phased. “You know what… this was good while it lasted, Nicki, aiight? You be cool.”

Nothing about that felt good.

Not a single word.

As a matter of fact, her expression made me sick to my stomach, but I couldn’t do this shit with her. I turned my ass right back around and left, debating what to do with my night instead of spending it tripping over somebody who wasn’t tripping over me.

I thought about calling Cin, but I knew she was traveling, basically scouting places to live before she committed. I didn’t want to bug her with this anyway, especially knowing how she was rooting for me and Cole to actually make something happen.

She was
also
firmly Team Cole, and I didn’t feel like listening to anybody defend her.

Unfortunately, that ruled out Jess too, and none of my homeboys were good for shit like this. They were good for turning up, making it rain at the club, which… maybe that was exactly what I needed.

I hadn’t been to Arch & Point since I started pursuing Cole, but the idea grew in my mind as what I
needed
to do. Ass and titties in my face had always been a good remedy when I was stressed, overworked, whatever. It only made sense that a trip there was a good idea.

An hour later, I was on my way.

I let Kendrick drive, since I didn’t plan to be sober enough to get myself home after I left. I sat in the back seat, thumbing through the cards in my wallet when I realized I was missing my VIP card, which would get me in and out of the entrance. It wasn’t the end of the world, but I preferred not to have to call and make arrangements when the card
was
the arrangements.

I sat back, trying to remember where it could be. When the answer finally popped into my head, I sighed.

Fuck.

Maybe she won’t be there…

As a matter of fact, there was no way Nicki would be at our suite at
Veil
, since I wasn’t bringing my dick. I could get in, get my VIP card for Arch & Point out of the drawer where I’d left it with my other extra things after I’d changed wallets for the Gucci one Nicki had gifted me, and get the fuck out.

“Yo, Ken,” I said, leaning forward. “We’ve gotta make a little detour man.”

As expected, the suite was dark when I walked in. The only light came from the big window that led to the patio, where the moon illuminated the room. I didn’t bother flipping the main lights on – I went straight for the drawer where I’d left my old wallet and pulled it out, tucking the whole thing into my pocket.

I didn’t see her until I turned around.

She was in the bed – on
my
side of the bed we’d shared for the last few weeks. She looked stricken by my presence – sitting straight up, trembling, phone clutched in her hand. It occurred to me that I’d probably scared her, coming in unannounced, no lights, wearing all black, rifling through drawers in the dark.

I reached for the wall and flipped the switch on, lighting the room. Cole blinked several times against the sudden brightness, then stared for a second before averting her gaze. She looked…
rough.

Her freshly done hair wasn’t even tied down, and she’d obviously been crying. Instead of the sexy, lacy things – or
nothing
– she usually wore to bed, she was swimming in one of my tee shirts.

“I… wasn’t expecting you to be here,” I said, clearing my throat. A twinge of guilt pricked my chest for the contrast between us – me dressed and ready to go out, and her… so obviously hurting.

She nodded, but still didn’t look at me. She pulled up the covers, probably trying to hide what she was wearing. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Why are you here?” I blurted, not realizing how rude it sounded until it was out of my mouth. She finally looked up, eyes bloodshot and glossy.

“Umm...” she swallowed, and I realized how scratchy her voice sounded, like her throat was raw. “I… I was tired. This was closer than my apartment, and I just wanted to sleep.”

I frowned, mentally mapping the distance from her place. I shook my head. “That’s… not true. Your place is at least ten, fifteen minutes closer with traffic.”

She shrugged, but didn’t say anything else. I just stood there, not knowing what to say myself. It burned me up to see her like this – tough ass Nicki, never ruffled, always ready with a sharp remark… fragile and defeated.

“Do you need me to go or something?” she asked, her voice suddenly stronger. When I looked up, she’d used her fingers to tame her hair and was climbing out of bed to stand up straight, looking me right in the eyes.

This
was the unbothered Nicki I expected. She’d switched right into character.

“Why would I need you to go?” I asked, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“I don’t know. I’m asking, because I don’t understand why you’re here.”

I pulled out the wallet, showing it to her. “I needed this. Left my card to get in A&P.”

For just a second, her façade slipped, and I could have sworn she was about to break into a sob, but she cleaned it up just as quickly as it came. She arranged her face into a bored, neutral expression before she spoke. “Right. You look like you’re about to have a good time.”

“I plan on it.”

“Good.”  She slipped again. Her voice cracked over that word, but she immediately snapped back, holding her head high. “If you have what you need, can you turn the light back off, please? I’d like to go back to sleep.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, aiight,” I said, then flipped the light off, turning to get the fuck out of there.

“Be safe,” she said softly, barely loud enough for me to hear.

Something in those words triggered something in me, and I slapped the light back and turned to face her. “Yo, Nicki what the fuck is this?!” I asked, closing the distance between us. “Huh? What the hell are we doing right now?”

She looked me right in the eyes, not hiding the hurt and anger swimming in hers. “It looks to me like you’re about to go party, and I’m about to lay here and spend a few
more
hours of my life wondering why the fuck I even
tried
,” she snapped.

“Tried?!” I let out a dry bark of laughter. “Nicki, you
really
think you’ve tried?!”

She rolled her eyes – obviously anger was winning in the moment – “Yes, Jordan. I
do.
If you want to focus on my desire for discretion, so I don’t hydrogen-bomb my career, you do that. But don’t act like you’ve been some bastion of compromise, when you haven’t! Or, you know what, Jordan?
Do
act like that. I really don’t want to have this conversation again. Don’t want to list my reasons, my fears, again. You’ve never listened to them, you won’t now, so what the fuck is the point? Believe what you want. Have fun at your party.”

She turned away, towards the bed, obviously intending to crawl under the covers, but I caught her by the arm.

“Wait a damned minute,” I said, turning her to face me. “What the hell are you talking about, I haven’t listened to you?!”

She snorted. “Are you serious, Jordan?! When have you
ever
taking my hesitations about this relationship seriously? The night you got arrested, we argued, I poured my heart out, and you told me it was fine, because
you
had no reservations. I explained mine, you brushed them off, and we moved forward anyway.
I
gave. The night of the royal ball, again, I told you I was scared. For my heart, and for my job. Again, you brushed it off. Said it would be fine. And we moved forward.
I
gave.

“I thought we were good! We came here, spent time together, made love. I put aside my fears of getting hurt, of you breaking my heart. But this isn’t a fairy tale, Jordan. I can’t be cavalier about us being seen together, and I thought we were on the same page. I thought we were developing, and building. Growing. And for you to suddenly flip on me, acting like I’m risking my heart and my career just for sex? It hu—… It’s fucked up. But I swallowed it. I thought about it, and I tried to make it right. So much could have gone wrong with me arranging that dinner for us, but I was willing to risk that, for
you
. And you… shit on my efforts. Because all
you
can see is your own damned point of view.”

I sucked my teeth. “Wait a damned minute, that’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it, Jordan?
You
have the benefit of knowing what’s really going on in your head, I don’t.
You
have the benefit of being in a position where as long as you’re doing your job and not committing a crime, no one
really
cares what you do. I don’t. But all you see is: Nicki doesn’t trust me. Nicki is trying to hide me. Nicki isn’t all in. Have you considered that – Nicki is trying to be careful with her heart. She cares about me, very much, but it’s only been a few weeks. These things take time, and she’s trying. Or… Nicki would
love
to be on my arm. Nicki would love for the world to see that this tough, feminist bitch can get a man. A confident, sexy
manly
ass man. She’s really
not
a robot. Or… maybe Nicki isn’t all in because it’s still kind of early. Again, it’s only been a few weeks, and if it was any other woman, all over me after a month, I’d think she was crazy. Maybe she’s trying to take it slow so that we build something
real
. Or is it all… Nicki isn’t acting how I want her to act, so she’s being unreasonable?”