Love Simmers (8 page)

“
I saw you with
Lia and I realised that you and I have no future. At least, right
now.”

My throat was tight, the words
coming out more emotionally than I intended. With Nate I could
never handle my emotions, another reason this was not simply a
fling. This was a relationship that was going to be all consuming.
There would be no halfway with us.

“
Thank you for
making the decision for the both of us,” his words were
sarcastic.

“
Why are you
pushing this? It seems like you and Lia have a lot more in common
than you and me.”

“
So you’re
jealous?” He continued in disbelief, “What? You thought I spent
five years alone pining for you while you dated every handsome guy
you met, including my brother?”

“
What do you
want from me Nate? Because I don’t think you even know who I am
anymore.” He tried to interrupt my rapidly rising voice but I put a
finger to his mouth to silence him. “You spent more time dating Lia
than you’ve spent with me for the better part of five
years!”

“
You think I
don’t know you?” He went deathly calm, his expression painfully
neutral.

I started to question my
assumption. He did know me, too well maybe.

“
What do you
want from me?” Tears started to roll down my cheeks. I never cried
during a fight. I was calm, usually rational.

“
Figure it out.
It’s only the same thing I’ve wanted from you all along,” his voice
was softer now, as if my tears had extinguished his
anger.

“
It won’t work
between us.” I wiped my eyes, beginning to doubt my own words. I
wanted it to work between us. Where there was a will there was a
way. Or so my mum had always claimed.

“
How would you
know?” He replied, “you never tried.”

He walked away and I wanted to
smash something. I wasn’t equipped to handle the emotions he
brought out in me. They terrified me, left me torn open and exposed
in a way I didn’t like. I think I’d rather be naked in front of a
crowd than this emotionally raw.

Ollie came back into the
kitchen. Taking a look at my tears he said, “Want me to rough him
up?”

I chuckled, wiping away the
last of my tears.

“
Shouldn’t you
be wanting to rough me up for hurting your best friend and business
partner?”

“
We shared a
womb,” Ollie joked.

We went back to the work at
hand without another word about Nate. Ollie turned out to be
unexpectedly good at making bread. I was a great teacher though.
Someone should give me my own cooking show.

That evening, I went back to
Ollie and Nate’s after checking in with Maddie. I needed a good
night’s sleep on a bed before the opening.

When I walked through the door
the smell of roast beef tantalized my senses. I hoped Nate had
cooked enough for two and wasn’t holding a grudge.

I passed the dining room table,
noticing the romantic setting for two; flowers, candles the works.
I wondered if Nate had a date tonight.

“
It’s for you,”
he said from behind me.

I looked at him stunned,
turning back to the beautiful table. “Why?”

“
Because you
owe me a chance to prove to you how well I know you. And the first
thing I know about you is roast beef and vegetables is your
favourite meal.”

“
Anyone who
reads my cookbook knows that,” I countered.

“
Does it tell
them how much you love B-rate natural horror movies or even how
much you love alpacas?”

“
Alpacas are an
underrated animal.” I smiled as he pulled the chair back for
me.

He sat down and poured me a
glass of peach ice tea, my favourite non-alcoholic drink.

“
We’ve never
been on a date before,” I blurted out, not quite sure what to say
to him now that we were alone, calm and having a civilised
conversation.

“
You don’t
count us having sex on my sailboat the night of Prom as a
date?”

“
If it was,
then that was a good first date,” I said.

I thought back to that night,
remembering how cherished Nate had made me feel. He’d been gentle
and considerate yet passionate. He’d brought me a coffee and
chocolate croissant the next morning.

“
I definitely
thought there’d be a second date but before I knew it you were
gone,” his words brought me back to the present.

“
Would you have
left town with me?” I wondered if I’d given him a second and third
and fourth date and then my heart if he’d have moved with me. His
comment the other day was stuck in my head. I had never asked about
his future plans back then. I’d just assumed he wanted to stay like
Ollie.

“
Yes, I would
have. But you never asked. I don’t think you really wanted me at
that point in your life.”

I wanted to argue but I knew
there was no point. He was right. I’d wanted to go alone and
accomplish my life goals. I’d wanted to know who I was on my own
before I’d figured out who I was as a couple. Even at the expense
of sacrificing Nate. Now, I was afraid that I couldn’t be in a
relationship, I was so set in my ways.

“
No, I didn’t.
I regret those choices now,” I spoke honestly, appreciating the
irony of my regret. When I’d left him I thought I’d regret never
seeing the world on my own. Being that girl who met a guy in high
school and stayed with him. Either way I guess I was going to have
regrets. Nearly everyone did.

“
I don’t want
your regrets. I want you to try this time round,” his eyes were
pleading, a desperation showing in them that no words could
express.

“
I love you,” I
said for the first time in my life, feeling relief as the words
slipped past my lips. It was as though I’d been holding them back
for years. I should have said the words that night on the boat. I’d
known Nate my entire life. He’d been the first guy I’d stolen from,
the first guy I’d kissed, the first guy I’d made love to. I’d run
from the truth for so long.

He laughed openly, his
expression full of love.

“
I haven’t even
brought out dinner yet or proved to you how well I know you,” he
pulled his chair closer to me. I stood up and moved to sit on his
lap.

“
You had me at
alpaca.”

“
I didn’t even
get to cover your favourite books, movies, music. All the things
that annoy you, like tourists who rent sailboats but don’t know how
to sail.”

“
Aren’t you
going to say it back?” I faced him, my left arm wrapped around his
neck. He cradled my broken arm carefully between our
bodies.

“
I’ve waited
thirteen years for you to say it, you can wait a little bit,” he
teased.

“
Thirteen
years?” I gave him a sceptical look.

“
Since the
moment I got dragged out to sea in that rip and you swam out after
me with a surfboard. You didn’t wait for the lifeguard or an adult,
you just went in after me,” he reminisced, his tone full of
affection. “A girl who swims against the current for you, you fall
in love with.”

“
And that was
the moment?”

“
That was the
moment.”

I thought back over the
lifetime of moment’s we’d had together and wondered why he felt so
strongly about that one. It was a funny thing perspective. I
remembered being afraid that day that Nate would drown. He
remembered the best of it and I remembered the worst. He’d felt
love and I’d felt fear, it seemed we’d come full circle.

“
I don’t know
which exact moment was the most defining for me. When I think back
you’re in almost every childhood memory beside me,” I said and I
realised that was what had made me love him. That he’d always been
there ready to help me or catch me or comfort me. You couldn’t ask
for a better man than that, a guy who would always be there for at
your best and at your worst.

“
How about this
for a defining moment,” his hands pulled me in closer.

“
I don’t know.
You going to put out this time?” I kissed his jaw.

“
Depends. You
going to buy me dinner first?”

“
Roast beef
okay?” I slipped my hand under his shirt, loving the sensation of
his hard six-pack beneath my fingers.

“
You hungry?”
He asked, gently placing his hand on mine.

“
It can wait.”
I wanted him now more than anything.

He pulled me into his arms, and
carried me off to the bedroom. He lowered me onto the bed. His
mouth took mine in a wild kiss. His hand tangled in my long hair,
his firm grasp bringing me closer. I moaned softly. I gasped as he
swept me up into another kiss. My shirt was off seconds later. I
scrambled to pull his off, desperate to feel his skin pressed
against mine. He tugged off my pants, his hand slipping underneath
my panties to squeeze my ass. I unzipped him carefully, his jeans
falling away with a bit of his help. My panties were gone a second
later. His hand caressing me, I cried out in pleasure. He gently
teased me. I moved against his hand, hungry for more. I needed him
now.

“
Can’t drag
this out, been waiting so long,” he groaned, slipping out of his
boxers.

I whimpered as I felt him slip
a finger inside me. I ran my hands down his muscled back as I felt
him spread me open. I grabbed his stiff cock, running my fingertips
teasingly across his shaft. He grabbed my hand and pulled it
away.

Without losing a beat, he
discreetly covered himself with a condom. Putting my arm over my
head before I could touch him again. He slipped a strong arm under
my waist, raising my hips off the bed he gently entered me. I felt
my inner walls stretch around him as he pushed deep inside of me,
our cries echoing in the night.

“
Better than I
remember.” He started moving, his hard thrusts causing me to cry
out in pleasure.

I groaned as I felt myself
climax in his arms.

“
So good,” he
continued thrusting as we both came, his hands stroking my face and
hair as he spent himself inside of me.

“
I love you,”
he collapsed beside me, pulling me tightly against his
chest.

I snuggled into him, never
having felt closer to a person then in this moment. If this is what
it felt like to be in love, I’d deprived myself of something
incredible.

“
You what?”
Maddie exclaimed over brunch the next day. Her face was drawn and
pale, her eyes tired. It had been a difficult week.

“
I told him I
loved him,” I sighed, knowing I would be hearing about this for
years. That she had been right about Nate and I. I only hoped it
inspired her to finish her romance novel.

“
That’s
beautiful. You’re a romantic deep down, aren’t you?” She clapped in
joy.

“
So deep down I
don’t even know it.” I finished my French toast with a smile,
remembering the way Nate had kissed me goodbye as he’d left for the
restaurant as 5 am. It was opening night and he had a lot to
do.

“
Well, I’m glad
you stopped being such a fool and admitted your feelings. Now you
and he can be happy.” She was genuinely pleased for me, her recent
heartbreak not dampening her opinion of love in the
least.

“
We talked last
night. He thinks that after things settle in a few months time he
can start to spend a few days a week in Toronto with me.” I exhaled
a deep breath, as old fears on whether or not it would all work out
crossed my mind.

“
You and Nate,
it’s perfect.”

She looked down at her full
plate of food.

“
You’ll find
perfect. And hopefully you’ll know better than to make him wait ten
years like I did.”

I put a hand over hers, I had
feeling perfect wasn’t far away for her.

“
Ollie’s a
little worried about you,” I dropped that little titbit slyly,
watching as her eyes widened and she blushed softly.

“
There is no
way Ollie is interested in me. He dates gorgeous fun loving party
girls.” She started moving her food around her plate.

“
Maybe what he
really wanted was taken,” I insinuated, wondering whether I should
quit cooking and go into matchmaking. I think I had a flair for
it.

“
I’m a mess and
he doesn’t deserve to be the rebound guy.” I could tell she didn’t
want to talk about it any more.

We left the cafe an hour later.
Sitting in her car, I turned to her seriously.

“
You are coming
tonight, right?” I pushed, afraid she was going to back out and
miss this memorable night.

She pulled up in front of
Sails.

“
Of course. But
I’m sure you’ll be distracted,” she smiled knowingly.

“
He’ll be
busy,” I said goodbye and headed into the restaurant. The staff was
frantically preparing and setting the place up. I glanced around in
amazement at how spectacular everything looked. There was no sign
of the damage caused a few nights ago.

“
My little
brother’s done a good job,” a voice said behind me and I wanted to
scream. This was the last thing Nate needed to be reminded
of.

“
Go away
Tommy!” I half whispered/half shouted as I turned around to face
Nate’s charming old brother who unfortunately happened to be my
ex.