Love Takes Hold: The Helena's Grove Series Book 3 (10 page)

There were some sniffles from the guests as Zack cleared his throat to begin his vows. He took her hand and held it as he began to speak; no paper, no cues. “I struggled for weeks, trying to come up with the perfect things to say to you today. I searched tirelessly to try and find the words that were big enough, deep enough, and emotional enough to describe the way I feel about you.” His voice caught and he cleared his throat as Jen’s tears ran freely. “But the truth is there aren’t any words. There aren’t any words that can describe how much I love you, how much I care about you. The best way I can describe it is like this. The third time I saw you, you were in a yellow summer dress with matching yellow shoes. That outfit was covered in mud that day. And although I knew you’d most likely go home and try to scrub that mud out, I knew you’d never be able to. You’ve had the same effect on my heart as that mud did on your dress. I knew I’d never be able to get you out of my thoughts or out of my heart. I love you so much more today than I did that day, and I promise to, throughout the course of our lives, love you more each day than I did the day before. Which by the way seems downright impossible since I’m pretty sure my heart is to the point of bursting but…” he shrugged and Jen wiped a tear from his face. “Plain and simple, I love you. You are my everything.”

There were sighs from the audience as the couple exchanged rings, followed by the JP pronouncing them husband and wife. Zack took a step toward her and placed both hands on her cheeks. He took his time touching his lips to hers but when he finally did Jen felt the full magnitude of it. Though they had shared countless kisses throughout their relationship, this one was different. It felt different and Jen was at peace. They were married! Jen was kissing her husband and it was a wonderful thought! As he pulled back and the crowd began to cheer Jen remembered Aunt Gabby’s words to her,
“Zack is a gem, but he’s not perfect. He’s perfect for YOU,”
and she couldn’t agree more.

Jen and Zack spent the rest of the day taking pictures and visiting those who had come to the wedding. The reception wasn’t until six, which gave them some time to greet each person and thank them for coming. Around four o’clock Jen’s feet began to feel like they were going to fall off – those wedding shoes were beautiful, but severely uncomfortable! She leaned from one foot to the other, trying to relieve some of the pain but to no avail. She and Zack were just finishing up pictures and Jen hoped they’d have a few minutes alone before the reception. Her prayers were answered when Aunt Gabby told them to go take a drive and take a breath before the real party began. Not needing to be told twice Zack wrapped his arm around Jen’s waist and pulled her to his rental car. The two of them jumped in and were gone within minutes.

“Oh thank goodness! My feet were really starting to kill!” She pulled her heels off and sighed as she wiggled her toes.

Zack had already stripped off his jacket which was now lying in the back seat and was swiftly doing the same with his tie. “I didn’t think it’d be so darn warm at the end of September but I’m roasting.” He threw the tie on the backseat and cracked his neck, smiling at Jen as he reached for her hand. “So much better.”

“You know you’re going to have to put those back on right?” Jen asked, teasing him.

“Not if we just take off. What do you say to us heading out on our honeymoon right now?” His eyes were wide with excitement at the thought.

Jen laughed. “What about all the guests?”

“What about them?”

“They’ll want to see us.”

“They don’t care. As long as there’s food and champagne they won’t mind if we’re there or not.”

“That may be true but you know we can’t ditch our own reception.”

Zack sighed in defeat. “All right, but we don’t have to be there till six so we have an hour to kill.”

“What do you want to do?”

Zack gave her a sideways glance and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

Jen giggled. “Just drive.”

“At five forty-five they pulled into the parking space at the Christmas farm barn. Jen could hear the music as she stepped out of the car. She smoothed her dress and gingerly touched her hair. Zack met her as he came around the car; smiling he offered his arm. “Mrs. LaFaye?”

She couldn’t help but grin as she took the strong arm of her husband.
Her husband.
The words still seemed strange but yet, very comfortable. They walked arm in arm to the front entrance and Jen’s breath caught as she entered the building. Annie had outdone herself! The large room had double doors open wide on each end, letting in the natural light and breeze. Each round table had a white tablecloth with a purple runner, and a beautiful flower arrangement as a centerpiece. To the side of the room were several tables filled with elegant food and champagne. Two enormous chandeliers hung from the ceiling spaced evenly apart with purple and champagne colored cloth swooping from each to different areas surrounding it. Lights were strung in between the cloth and around every post in the room. It was more beautiful than she could ever have imagined!

Annie bounded up to them at that moment. “What do you think? Didn’t it just turn out awesome! I thought that the chandeliers were going to be a little much at first but once we got them up it was like the heavens opened up and choirs of angels were singing it was so beautiful!”

“How much did all this cost? I’m sure it went way over the budget I gave you,” Jen marveled.

Annie shook her head. “Oh I didn’t end up using your card. Your dad gave me his and told me there was no limit, so I went a little crazy.” She giggled. “You know how much I LOVE decorating.”

Jen raised her eyebrows and whispered, “My dad paid for all this?”

“Yes ma’am. You know, he’s not nearly as frightening as Zack made him out to be. I have found him to be quite a sweet and caring man.”

Jen smiled. “He really is.”

“Well come on you two,” Annie said grabbing each of their hands. “This is your party!”

The place was packed. Jen had planned on around two hundred but judging from the amount of people she saw, she guessed it was closer to two-fifty or more as she and Zack greeted guest after guest. After the food was served Chris Harris proposed a toast to his old friend.

“Zack
and I have been friends for a long time, but I have to say he had a bit of a hard time finding a best man. F
irst he asked his 
nicest
 friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his 
funniest
 friend to be his best man, but he said no too. He then asked his 
best-looking
 friend to be the best man but even he said no. Finally, he asked me and after turning him down the 
first three times
 I couldn’t refuse again!”

The crowd erupted with laughter as Zack nodded emphatically.

“But in all seriousness Zack,” Chris continued, “You’ve been a great friend, and I’m so happy you’ve found someone that will make you happy!” He held up his glass of champagne. “To Jen and Zack – may your days be long, prosperous and may you always have good friends like me!”

“Here, here,” the crowd chorused, laughing.

Soon after, the dancing began. Zack gently led Jen onto the floor for their first dance as husband and wife. Jen’s mind went back to the year before when she had first danced with him. It seemed like a lifetime ago and yet she still remembered the feel of his arms around her for the first time and the strong steadiness of his hands as he moved her around the dance floor. 

“Do you remember our first dance?” Zack asked.

“I was just thinking about it,” Jen told him.

“That’s one of my best memories – except the part where we were so rudely interrupted.” He made a face.

Jen laughed at the memory of Melanie Hansen calling out to Zack just as they were about to kiss. She had been in love with him then, and Jen couldn’t blame her. “It was still a great night,” she said wistfully and laid her head on his shoulder as his arms held her close.

The song ended and Chris announced the father-daughter dance. Zack kissed Jen softly and then handed her off to Roger. He nodded at Zack as he took his daughter into his arms. The song began and Jen felt an instant sting come to her eyes. She breathed deeply as she looked at her father.

“You alright?” Roger asked.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t cry,” she said softly.

He gave half a smile. “You go ahead honey, I won’t judge this time.”

She laughed and hugged him. “Daddy, this was just beautiful, thank you so much.”

“That’s what fathers are for. I was happy to give the money if it meant I didn’t have to do any of the actual decorating. That energetic brown eyed girl assured me she had everything under control.”

“You know her name Dad,” Jen teased.

He smiled at her and pulled her closer.

“You know, you’ve changed,” Jen told him.

He looked down at her. “Have I?”

She nodded. “In the last year, you’ve changed a lot.”

“So have you,” he pointed out.

Jen nodded in agreement. “I know I have. Zack has changed me, Aunt Gabby’s changed me, and this place changed me.” She paused. “What changed you?”

He kissed her forehead. “You did honey. I was so afraid of losing you when you came back to New York last year. I had never been so afraid… I knew I had to change.”

“If I’m not mistaken you might be going a little…” She paused for effect. “Soft?”

He made a gruff coughing sound and then cleared his throat as he looked around. “Don’t tell anyone.”

She laughed. “I won’t, I promise.”

As the song came to an end, Roger hugged his daughter before letting her go. Soon the dance floor was full and everyone was enjoying themselves. The reception was turning out to be almost as perfect as the wedding. Zack and Jen soon made their way to a table to sit down. Aunt Gabby and Roger joined them.

“This is quite the crowd,” Roger commented.

“It is a great turn out,” Aunt Gabby said. “In fact…”

“Aunt Gabby?” Everyone turned as Annie walked to the table with Adam on one side of her and a dark haired, strikingly blue eyed man that seemed to be in his late twenties on the other. “This gentleman would like to speak with you.”

The man stepped forward. “I’m so sorry; I didn’t realize this was a reception. I wouldn’t have bothered you except, I just really wanted to talk to you.”

“Why don’t you sit down and have something to eat?” Aunt Gabby offered.

“Uh, no thank you. I’m not hungry. You are Gabrielle Berkley?”

Aunt Gabby nodded.

“Could I talk to you in private?”

Everyone looked at Aunt Gabby, who seemed to be as confused as the rest of them.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

The man took a few steps forward and Aunt Gabby stood to meet him. He held out his hand. “My name is Dylan Drake.”

Aunt Gabby shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Dylan, what can I do for you?”

Sensing Aunt Gabby wasn’t going to have a private talk with him the man cleared his throat and shifted his feet. He seemed very nervous and Zack kept shooting questioning glances at Jen, who had no idea what was going on.

“I… Like I said, I’m very sorry to just drop in like this but…” He looked at Aunt Gabby and smiled wide. The table was silent; even the noise of the reception seemed to have died down as the group waited for the stranger to state his business.

The man laughed uncomfortably, “I can’t believe I’m standing here talking to you – it’s crazy.” He cleared his throat again. “There really isn’t an easy way to say this so I’m just going to let it out.”

Aunt Gabby watched him carefully with a face full of confusion.

“I think…” He shifted again. “I think you’re my grandmother.”

Excerpt: Love Is Strong

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Excerpt from
Love Is Strong: The Helena’s Grove Series Book 4

There was silence in the room. Not the serene kind that comes from a beautiful morning or after a nice song; this was uncomfortable, thick, heavy silence that hung in the air like a blanket. Zack, Jen, Annie and Roger sat in Aunt Gabby’s living room, each watching the old woman who stood staring out the front window. Jen kept glancing at the others, hoping they’d know how to start, what to say. What could they say? They’d all been stunned when a young Dylan Drake had shown up at Jen and Zack’s wedding reception claiming to be Aunt Gabby’s grandson. How could she have a grandson when she hadn’t had any children? They had been shocked, but Aunt Gabby looked totally and completely floored. That was a week ago. After Dylan left they’d all agreed to come back to Ohio the following weekend to talk about things. However, that was proving to be an arduous task since none of them knew what to say nor wanted to push Aunt Gabby into talking about things she wasn’t comfortable with. Zack and Jen had spent their honeymoon in the realization that neither of them knew Aunt Gabby nearly as well as they thought. She would be seventy-seven in November. Jen had only known her personally for a little over a year. Zack and Annie had known her since they were children but she was in her fifties at that time. Roger, being her youngest brother had of course known her the longest but even he had no idea she had a child. She’d kept her life under wraps, keeping those things close to her heart. Jen thought briefly how hard it must have been for her, living all these years without having anyone to talk to about the things of her past.

Aunt Gabby moved and everyone tensed, waiting for her to speak. But she only rubbed her eyes and went back to staring into the front yard. She was clearly reliving some of the things that had happened in her early life, a life so foreign to those around her. Each person there wanted to know her story; they wanted to know what had happened, what her life had been before they were a part of it. But Aunt Gabby remained silent. Jen glanced at the clock on the wall, its incessant ticking made the time crawl by. It had only been twenty minutes but it seemed like hours. Jen glanced again at Zack, his thumb and forefinger gingerly rubbed his chin and the newly grown goatee that covered it. He was obviously in deep thought and Jen decided not to disturb him. Roger was on his phone, no doubt trying to find a way to announce he must be leaving soon. For a lawyer, it surprised Jen how uncomfortable her father was with silence. Then again, maybe it was the issues of the past that he was uncomfortable with. Annie was chewing her nails softly, seeming more nervous than Aunt Gabby. Jen didn’t make eye contact with anyone, knowing they were all absorbed in their own thoughts. And so, they waited.

The Saturday morning ticked away and it was just over an hour before Aunt Gabby finally spoke with a slow, tired voice. “I know you’re all here to get some sort of explanation of the young man, Dylan, that you met last week. And I’ve spent the last week going over in my head how to tell you; where to even start...”

“You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not comfortable with,” Annie said comfortingly. “We just want to know if you’re okay.”

“I don’t mean to sound disrespectful of your life Gab, but I would have to disagree with Miss LaFaye,” Roger spoke up in his usual gruff tone. “I would most definitely like an explanation. I’d like to know how I grew up not knowing you had a child.”

“I’m with Roger on this one,” Zack agreed. “I’ve known you almost my entire life. And now I feel like I hardly know you at all.”

“Zack!” Annie hissed. “Be respectful.”

“I’m not trying to pry,” Zack replied and then turned to Aunt Gabby. “I’m just flabbergasted that no one here knew you had a child. You always said we were your children.”

“You’re right Zack,” Aunt Gabby said softly. “You are right. And you have every right to be a little upset. But I lived an entire life before I moved here. No one has ever known my story, except…” She met Zack’s eyes as hers filled with tears. “Except your mother. She’s the only one I ever talked to about Jimmy.”

“Is that your baby’s name?” Annie asked tentatively.

Aunt Gabby nodded and took a deep breath. “It’s been so long since I’ve talked about him, I wasn’t sure if I could. But I’ve thought a lot about it and I think it’s something that you all need to know. I’ve wondered how I can tell you everything without getting too emotional or dramatic but I’m not sure that’s possible so I’m just gonna dive right in.” She looked down at her hands and was quiet for a moment. Telling this was already bringing up emotion, as she knew it would. And although there were certain events she wasn’t sure she wanted to relive, the thought of dying without anyone knowing about her life, her trials, her joys, her search, made her stomach turn and her heart heavy. She knew she wanted to share it.

Everyone in the room shifted in their seats, ready to hear the life story of the woman they all loved so much. A few seconds passed as Aunt Gabby closed her eyes, and taking a few deep breaths said, “I suppose I’ll just start from where it’s relevant.”

“In September of 1953 I was sixteen years old, beginning my junior year in high school, living in Los Angeles… and eighteen weeks pregnant. It was not commonly known by people in my circle in my later years that I’d had a child. I made sure of that. But I was a teenager once, and I made a decision that would impact the rest of my life. It wasn’t accepted very well in those days and my father was furious. He had five other children at home and felt I was a bad example. But I was a rebel. I tried my hardest not to care what he thought. I went to school that September determined to graduate just like everyone else. I had no idea what having a baby would mean or what it took to be a mother.” She paused, her eyes in some faraway place. “I think in those first few months, I honestly believed I could keep him…”

LOS ANGELES, CA, 1954

James Dean Berkley was born January tenth, 1954, after nine hours of labor. He weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces; just a little thing. I remember thinking he looked like a bird. I named him James Dean because he was a big actor in those days and all the girls had a crush on him. I suppose that shows how immature and ignorant I was.

James’ father and I had broken up two months before he was born. We had tried to make it work, get married and raise the baby together, but it didn’t take me long to realize he wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment and truthfully, neither was I. My father was adamant that I give the baby up for adoption – it was a constant fight between us. Like I said, I was sure I could take care of him on my own.

After he was born I remember crying and kissing him; he smelled so good. In my heart I couldn’t bear the thought of giving him up. He was mine and I wanted him. I looked down at him, wrapped so tightly in his little hospital blanket. He didn’t cry, but just looked at me with wide eyes. I could tell right away his eyes were going to be blue, even though the nurse told me their eyes changed and I couldn’t be positive of the color. Despite my parent’s repeated attempts at telling me he’d be better off if someone else raised him, my stubborn bone was stronger than any of the sense people tried to talk into me. The more they tried to convince me to give him up the more convinced I was that I was keeping him.

I realized very quickly that my father and stepmother, Evelyn, weren’t going to help me. I believe Evelyn would have but my father was a stern man and told me that if I was certain I wanted to be an adult then he was going to treat me like one – which meant I had to face my choices and their consequences on my own. Evelyn gave me advice when I asked her but she always looked around nervously to make sure Father wasn’t nearby before she did.

I moved out of my father’s house and into a halfway house for teens in trouble when Jimmy was only three weeks old. I quickly realized I couldn’t do school and take care of him. It was hard to find a babysitter and I didn’t have the money to pay for one anyway, so I dropped out of high school. That little boy was everything to me, and it wasn’t a sacrifice for me to skip school to be with him. Being a mother was more of a challenge than I thought it’d be, having to get up at night to feed him, in a dirty, muggy halfway house, and I contracted a nasty cold that I couldn’t seem to shake. When Jimmy was a couple months old, Father and Evelyn came by – the first time I’d seen Father in weeks. I’d seen Evelyn more frequently; she’d brought me some clothes and food on a couple occasions, but I knew that was without my father’s knowledge so I acted like I hadn’t seen her in a while.

“Gabrielle,” Father said in a stern tone. “You can’t take care of this child on your own. You shouldn’t, it isn’t right. He needs a mother and a father and you can’t be both.”

“I can be both, he loves me and I love him.” My stubbornness kicked in as it always did when my father and I spoke.

“You can’t live on love, Gabby. Look at him, how are you going to send him to a good school when the time comes? Are you going to work as a waitress? Save your tips for twenty years? He won’t see you anyway if you work that much. If you’re going to be his provider you should be making enough to take care of him. You cannot be both parents! It’s not possible, I’ve tried!”

When father got angry he had one vein in his neck that would bulge out and look like a snake. It was beginning to show and I knew he was there to convince me once and for all to give my baby up for adoption.

“I can’t live without him…” I trembled beneath his stare. I hadn’t slept in days. I must’ve given Jimmy my cough and I would jump out of bed every time he’d make a noise, which was many times during the night. The stress had taken its effect and I felt my resolve weakening.

“Neither of you will live if you keep him.” The vein had gone down slightly and Father looked almost sympathetic. “You need to give him to a family that can take care of him,” he said placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m doing the best I can.” I meant for it to come out strong, like I knew what I was talking about but my voice broke and a sob came out.

“Sometimes Gabby,” Evelyn spoke for the first time since they arrived. “Sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.” She placed a gentle hand on my other shoulder and when I looked into her eyes they were filled with tears. My own spilled over and I began to cry openly, collapsing as Evelyn held and rocked me like a child. I cried for my baby, for my weakness, for my own life, but most of all because I knew I had failed Jimmy. My father was right; I couldn’t take care of a child. I could barely take care of myself. My heart hurt so badly I wished I could rip it out.

After another hour of Father and Evelyn telling me how much better Jimmy’s life would be if I gave him up, I finally gave in. Jimmy and I went back to my parent’s house and stayed there for a week while Father got all the legal papers in order. Jimmy slept with me every night. I would lay awake and watch him. I wanted to remember every line on his face. I would envision what he would look like when he was five, twelve, sixteen, twenty-one. I cried every time I thought of not being able to watch my baby grow up.