Love Unscripted (94 page)

“
Tar, Honey…” He breathed heavily. “Why, I mean, how could you think?” Ryan’s voice cracked.

“
I yelled for you. I ran after you!” His speech quivered. “I didn’t know why you left me.”

“
The note… it said you were going to end it with me. I thought… you and Lauren.” The tears streamed down my cheeks. “I was going to wait and show it to you and make you tell me to my face that she was what you wanted, but then some man called and I saw you in the restaurant… I didn’t know you were filming… I swear I didn’t know.”

“
So you were going to give up? Just like that?” Ryan asked.

“
If Lauren is what you need to be happy, what’s the point in fighting? Would it ever make a difference and change your mind if you wanted someone else? I’ve been there before, Ryan. Once one person in the relationship veers off course, there’s nothing that can bring them back.”

He was silent. I could hear him breathing. His lack of conversation frightened me even further, but I waited.

“
How…” he choked on his words. “How can we ever… make it… if you don’t believe in me?”

The hollow pain shot back into my chest. He was veering off course.

“
I do believe in you!” I defended. “I do.” My words came in pleading whispers. “But how was I to take evidence that stated otherwise?”

Ryan’s breathing became louder, labored.

“
What happens the next time some fan sends some bullshit letter that you think is real? Are we going to be right back in this same spot again?” he snapped angrily.

“
No, we won’t, because reading some letter that arrives in the mail is a lot different than finding a love note from your co-star ex-girlfriend and silk panties that aren’t mine on the floor next to your bed in your hotel room.”

“
I’m afraid now that you’ll never be able to trust me,” he muttered.

I could hear it in his voice and I knew him well enough to know he was trying to convince himself otherwise.

“
That depends…” I uttered softly, wiping my tears.

“
On what?”

“
If you give me a chance to have a next time,” I sighed, fearing his answer. If he wanted an out, here was his opportunity.

Ryan huffed in my ear. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “Tar, I’m an actor. This is what I do. If you can’t trust me…”

I closed my eyes as new tears burned my face.

“
What about you?” I asked, my tears clogged my throat. “Are you going to think I’m having affairs with other men when you’re not around? You think I arranged to run to the arms of that asshole? I still don’t remember how I ended up at the airport, Ryan.”

I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.

“
I’ve seen the pictures of me in the terminal. Do I look happy in any of them, because I thought they were an accurate representation of how completely devastated I was.”

“
I know,” Ryan sighed. “I’m trying to get past the fact that it’s Kyle in these pictures, but I can see how torn up you are.”

For a moment, we were both silent. I was remembering the almost catatonic state I was in when those pictures were taken. Ryan was apparently logged on to his computer. Even still, one question remained unanswered.

“
Just tell me, whose black panties were in your bedroom?” I asked, careful not to accuse him.

“
Honey, I swear I don’t know. I have no idea how they got there, but I can tell you that I’m going to find out. I swear to God there is no one else.”

“
You swear?” I asked for his vow.

“
On my life,” he confirmed.

“
Taryn, you know that I love you, but if you can’t trust me, you have to let me know now.”

“
I want to trust you, I do. I love you so much!” I broke down again. “Please, please… just for one moment… put yourself in my shoes.”

He breathed heavily. “Why do relationships have to be so damn complicated?”

I thought about every wonderful moment we spent together and the times when things became difficult.

“
Our relationship only got complicated when we allowed other influences to affect it. Things were perfect when we stayed hidden away in our apartment.”

Ryan laughed lightly. I hoped he was picturing holding me just as much as I was picturing being in his arms.

“
So where do we go from here?” he asked.

I remembered saying the same line to him once earlier in our relationship when we were at a crossroads. There was only one reply that fit.

“
We give it a chance,” I whispered his line back to him.

“
My
arm feels strange,” I muttered, rubbing my hand over the skin on my left arm for the first time in six weeks. “It looks smaller too.” I pulled my shirt and coat sleeve back down to stifle the chill I got from the cold weather.

Marie took her eyes off the road for a second and smiled at me.

After the nightmarish last few days, I was finally able to start seeing things clearly.

“
So tell me – how did you know where Ryan was planning on taking me for my birthday?” I asked, wondering how she was going to avoid answering. Marie had been very careful with her answers last night, skirting around subjects and giving me cryptic replies.

She was quiet for a moment. I could tell she was thinking about what to say before she said it.

“
Ryan told me so we’d cover the bar while you were gone,” she replied easily.

“
Oh.” I nodded.

Her reply seemed almost rehearsed. I sensed there was more to it than what she was willing to share, so, while we were on the subject, I tossed out my next question.

“
And how did you and Tammy know about the evening gowns?” I stared at her while she drove.

She sighed heavily. “Ryan asked me to verify your shoe size because he wasn’t sure if you wore a seven or a seven and a half. Considering how banged up you were, he wanted you to feel glamorous on your birthday.”

Marie nudged me in the leg. “Do you have
any
idea how freaking lucky you are?”

I thought about her statement. Several reasons for me to feel lucky came to mind. First and foremost was the fact that the SUV didn’t kill me.

She glanced over when I didn’t answer.

“
Do you know what Gary got me for my birthday?”

“
I know he took you to dinner,” I remembered. “Didn’t he buy you a bracelet?”

“
That was for our wedding anniversary. No, for my birthday we went to McD’s and then he took me to CostMart so we could get a new air filter for my car. I got a cheeseburger and an air filter, Taryn!”

“
Did he at least change your oil too?” I teased.

“
No! And it took him almost two weeks to put the damn filter in my car!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“
I tell ya, that Ryan Christensen is one hell of a romantic guy," Marie blurted, but then, very suddenly, she appeared to have said too much.

“
What do you mean – romantic?” I asked, hoping she’d explain her interpretation of the word.

“
Nah,” she muttered. “Just the dresses and stuff.”

I felt terrible – Ryan never got to see his planning come to fruition. I stared at Marie; there was more to her thoughts, but she apparently had reasons not to share them.

“
I really blew it, huh?” I muttered the obvious.

Marie shrugged and shook her head. “If you would have only stayed in his suite for fifteen more minutes.”

“
Oh, now what?” I groaned, wondering what else I screwed up.

“
You don’t want to know,” she dismissed.

She glanced over at me quickly, observing my “just tell me already before I kill you” facial expression.

“
Masseuse, makeup artist, hair stylist… Ryan hired a team to pamper you,” Marie uttered.

“
Oh… fuck…” The word slipped through my lips.

“
Yep!” Marie concurred. “Taryn, if you want a marriage to survive, you have to be willing to fight for it,” she counseled.

“
I think I’ve learned my lesson,” I admitted. “Marie, you know I’ve been really worried. After the accident and with losing the baby, I knew he was blaming himself. Part of me still wonders how long we’ll last before he moves on to a relationship that doesn’t cause him pain.”

Marie rolled her eyes and groaned.

“
I wish I could be so sure about things as you all appear to be,” I defended my current level of insecurity.

“
If you only knew,” she muttered under her breath.

“
Okay! What the hell is
that
supposed to mean? I heard you mumble over there, so tell me already. What is it that I obviously don’t know?”

“
Come on, lady! Gas is on the right!” Marie complained about the slow car in front of us.

“
Marie!” I shouted.

“
What?” she shouted back at me.

“
Thirteen years we’ve been best friends. Thirteen!”

Marie’s phone chimed, saving her from having to answer my question.

“
Hey, what’s up?” she said happily.

“
I’m telling you, Ryan, I’m willing to bet she told Kyle about your dinner plans. I’m sure that would have set him off. I’m waiting out in the car for Taryn; she ran into the store for bread.” Marie covered her lips with her finger so I’d stay quiet.

“
She just had her cast cut off at the doctor’s and now I’m going to take her for a new cell phone.”

Marie held the phone away from her ear again. Ryan was apparently upset about something.

“
Sorry!
I didn’t know this required a security escort! Okay, okay…” she said sarcastically. “I’ll make sure she calls that big refrigerator-sized Jamaal guy from now on. But it’s too late now - we’re already out. You know she won’t go for that. Fine. Fine! I’ll see what I can do. Okay! Jeez!”

Marie dropped her cell phone back in her purse. “He can be a real pain in the ass sometimes,” she mumbled.

Things were not making sense to me. Why would Kyle get pissed if Ryan took me out to dinner? Even if Ryan took me to an expensive restaurant, which of course he would have, why would that set Kyle off?

“
Marie - what the hell is going on?” I said in a tone demanding an explanation.

She took a deep breath. She was silent for a long time before she answered. “Kyle was poking his nose around down in Florida.”

“
I know that,” I admitted.

“
Well, the part you probably don’t know is that Kyle told a few people that
you
asked him to go down there. Word got back to Ryan that you sent Kyle to see if Ryan was cheating on you.”

“
You’ve got to be kidding me!” I groaned and rubbed my face. “You know I didn’t do that, right? I swear I had nothing to do with him being there.”

“
I know. Ryan and I had a long talk about it too,” she admitted. “Mike checked with his boss at Protection Services. Kyle was reassigned immediately, but instead of going on the new assignment he took two weeks of personal vacation time. That’s when he stayed in Florida. Kyle knew you were coming.”

“
I can’t believe Kyle would do all of this! What did he think? That I wouldn’t find out?” I shouted. “How convenient that he was in the airport at the right time. He was probably following me.”

“
Ryan said he saw Kyle going in and out of Lauren’s trailer a lot. I wonder if she was doing him?” Marie mused.

“
No wonder Ryan was so mad the other day when I talked to him… Kyle was going after
all
of his women.” Anxiety started to take me down again. “Marie, you know what… just take me home, please.”

“
No, I’m taking you for a new phone. You and Ryan need to keep in touch and work this out,” she stated emphatically.

“
Why? I haven’t spoken to him since last night. You’ve talked to him more than I have. You keep saying stuff to me about marriage, heck, I’ll be lucky if this relationship lasts another week.”

“
That’s it! I’ve had enough of your negativity. God! Arg!” she groaned at me. “And you wonder why I slapped you last night. I want to slap you again right now! Taryn, just TRUST me!” she shouted as she turned the car ignition off.

“
When we go in there I think you should get a log of all the calls made to your number. We’re going to find out just who the hell called you that day in Florida,” Marie said as we walked towards the store. “Oh, and Ryan asked me to try and convince you to use his credit card to pay for the new cell. He wants to replace it for you.”

I huffed as I opened the door. “I don’t think so.”

“
Don’t fight it. You need to get used to spending your husband’s millions,” Marie kidded me.

I scoffed at her comment. My mind was elsewhere.

“
I wonder if
Lauren’s
boyfriend knows that Kyle was inside her trailer?” I was thinking about Lauren’s fidelity or lack thereof and if her boyfriend was pissed.