Love's Destiny (Love Trilogy #2) (15 page)

After breakfast everyone dispersed. Mom apologized repeatedly for having to stop in at the bakery and promised to be home for dinner. I assured her that I understood and literally had to push her out the door.

Dad took Chance into town to buy some athletic gear at one of the sports stores that was having a huge sale. I declined the invitation to tag along and again had to assure them that I would be fine on my own. It was funny how everyone felt awkward about leaving me alone, as if I were a guest.

Once everyone else had left I felt restless again. I knew Tyler was upstairs, and I knew we were alone. Now was the time for us to talk. To work out whatever was between us so we could be friends again. I decided to ask him to take a walk with me on the beach. It was a good premise for a conversation.

I started up the stairs towards his room but he met me halfway down. We each paused on the stairs and stared into each other’s eyes. I had butterflies in my stomach that I tried to ignore.

“Would you like to take a walk with me on the beach?” I asked

I saw something flash in his eyes. Regret? Amusement? I wasn’t sure.

“Sorry I have plans.” He said with a smirk.

I was suddenly reminded of the afternoon he’d invited me to the beach but I’d had plans with Blake. Then I thought of Sara. My pride wouldn’t let me pry.

“Okay, guess I’ll see you around.” I said briskly and pushed past him walking as quickly as I could toward my room. I didn’t turn around to look back, but it felt like he watched me walk away.

Like a coward I avoided him until it was time for me to return to New York.

Thanksgiving had been painful. Christmas had been worse. Two full weeks of hiding in my room, avoiding eye contact and trying to find excuses to stay away from the house as much as possible.

Every time my eye’s met with Destiny’s I saw a flash of something I couldn’t quite identify, but it was always quickly masked with a cool casualness that matched my own. She made me nervous, edgy and irritable. Avoidance was the best defense I had.

I had felt horrible about dragging Sara to my house for Thanksgiving. She was so painfully shy and I realized my mistake as soon as I began introducing her to the family. She was miserable all evening and I did my best to make her comfortable.

My guilt was eased when I learned that my invitation had spurred some jealousy in Chris and finally gave him the nerve to ask her out. Apparently they had been involved in a subtle flirtation for several months, but both had been too shy to pursue it further until Chris thought I might be providing some competition and decided it was time to throw his hat into the ring. Sara was thrilled with his sudden declaration of interest and I assured both of them that I couldn’t be happier for them.

Unfortunately that meant by Christmas their budding relationship was consuming all their time and left little room for me to intrude as a form of escape. I volunteered as much time as I could at the hardware store, but business was slow and I wasn’t needed as much as I would have liked. I tried to show appropriate enthusiasm for the holiday, but found it hard to feel anything but desolation.

I knew my aunt and uncle contributed my sullenness to the fact that this was the first Christmas I’d had since losing my parents. And it was true that the pain of their absence was definitely weighing on my heart, but I knew that wasn’t the only cause of my despair. My suspicions were confirmed when Destiny returned to school and I felt the burden lift. Once she was gone I could breathe again. I could walk into a room without needing to prepare myself just in case she was there. I wished it wasn’t like that with her. But it was.

The spring months passed with ease. I immersed myself in Chance’s world. I enjoyed helping him with baseball and experiencing it through him.  It reminded me of the excitement I’d felt as a kid and how much baseball had been a part of my life. I took him to every practice and attended every game. Aunt Katherine and Uncle Mike came to all the games too, but Chance and I would usually go for pizza afterward by ourselves so we could spend hours going over the play by play. Any evening that I wasn’t working I would spend playing ball with Chance in the
back yard. He was a great kid,
and although he was only 9 years old he was my best friend.

The school year came to a close too quickly. My junior year was behind me. Only one last year of school, and then… what? My friends spoke of college, of careers. I didn’t want to think about it. I couldn’t ask my aunt and uncle to pay my college tuition. They’d already done too much for me.

I knew I wouldn’t have to ask, they would simply offer, but I couldn’t accept. I didn’t know what I was going to do after high school, but I knew I needed to do it on my own. I was standing on the precipice facing adulthood, and I had to enter it on my own. I still had one more year, but first I had to survive the summer.

Destiny was coming home for the summer. I was dreading it. I hated that I felt that way about her. That I couldn’t feel the same excitement I once felt over spending time with one of my closest childhood friends. Too much had changed between us, but at the same time not enough.

I heard the front door open and the unmistakable sound of Chance’s footsteps pounding across the marble tiles in the foyer.

“Destiny!” he exclaimed and I imagined him running into her arms. I stood at the top of the landing for a minute listening to the sounds of a family reuniting below me and then I braced myself and went down the stairs.

About halfway down the landing she looked up and her eyes met mine. My heart stuttered but I maintained my neutral expression and continued down the steps. Her hair had grown out since I’d seen her over the holidays, it reached just below her shoulders and fell in soft waves. Her face had thinned losing all trace of childhood. It was a woman I was looking at now. She smiled at me then and I almost hesitated the pain was so sharp, her smile so beautiful. Would I ever be able to look at her and not feel this way?

“Tyler.” No one ever said my name exactly the way she did.

She walked to the foot of the stairs and her family stood back, allowing us space for our own reunion. I took the last few steps that would bring me down to her without a word and without taking my eyes from hers. Had they always been so blue?

I stood in front of her now, still unable to speak. Not sure what to say. She stretched onto her tiptoes to kiss my cheek and left my skin burning where her lips had lightly brushed.

“It’s good to see you.” I managed to say

“It’s good to be home.” She replied still standing so close she had to incline her head to keep eye contact.

“How tall are you now?” she asked laughing lightly and stepping back

“About six five” I shrugged

“Wow. I remember when you used to look up to me.” She laughed nervously.

“I’m not a kid anymore.”

“No. I guess you’re not.”

Our words were casual but the undercurrent was unmistakable.

“Who’s hungry?” Aunt Katherine chimed in finally causing our eye contact to be broken. When Destiny looked away I felt as if I’d been released from a trance.

Lunch was full of chatter, everyone catching up on the small details that hadn’t been shared over the last several months. Destiny smiled and laughed and shared stories from New York.

I realized her presence didn’t have to be so painful for me. I just had to stop looking for what wasn’t there and appreciate what was. She was Destiny. She had once been my friend. This summer she could be again, if I’d allow it. Maybe that’s what I saw in her eyes when she looked at me, the longing for a friendship that had once been there.

My job at the hardware store had fizzled out. Business was slow and hours were gradually cut back to the point that I was no longer needed. Aunt Katherine’s business however was booming. Specialty cake orders were coming in at a rate she could barely keep up with. Destiny insisted on helping at the bakery over the summer just as she always had. I was working full time to keep up with the deliveries.

Destiny and I found a safe common ground at the bakery. We could smile and make small talk as we loaded the deliveries into the truck. Our encounters were brief enough that they didn’t leave room for awkward silences or expectations of anything deeper than causal conversation.

I was grateful for the opportunity to see her, for the pretense of the bakery to give us something comfortable to talk about, and also for the easy excuse to leave when silence became heavy with unspoken words. Sometimes our eyes would meet and linger for too long. Sometimes our hands would brush and my pulse would race.

I still yearned to reach out and touch her face, to feel her soft skin. To stroke her silky hair. To kiss her full inviting lips. But I was able to smile and laugh, to tease her in the way a brother would. I was able to be her friend, and I would never let her see how much it cost me.

Despite the abundance of business Aunt Katherine still closed the bakery on Sundays, leaving Destiny and I with a mutual day off. We used Chance as our buffer on those days. We took him to the beach, to the zoo, to the ball field, anywhere he wanted to go. He relished the attention but often I caught him watching his sister and me closely and wondered how transparent my feelings were. Who else saw them? Did she?

Was that why she never touched me? I could remember a time when she would take my hand subconsciously whenever we walked side by side. Now she kept a safe distance. When had that changed? When was the last time I’d held Destiny’s hand?

It had been the previous summer, just after my parents had died the first time she’d played her violin for me. I had held her hand as we had walked downstairs for dinner that night.

“Will you play for me tonight?” I asked on impulse.

We had been walking in silence coming home from a day at the beach with Chance. I had been lost in my memories and hadn’t even realized I was going to ask her that until the words came out.

“Of course.” She replied quietly and her tone didn’t reveal anything.

I turned to face her as we walked up the driveway. She was already looking at me and our eyes met over Chance’s head. He was half asleep, leaning against her as we walked up to the house.

“Let me just get Chance inside, and get cleaned up.”

“Oh sure, take your time.” I said feeling suddenly nervous and wishing I could take back the impulsive request. What was I doing?

I headed upstairs and took a long hot shower, trying to release the sudden tension in my shoulders. After throwing on a pair of jeans I paced restlessly in my room. Not sure if I should just hide out in there all night. Then I heard a knock at my door and knew that wasn’t an option.

I opened the door and found Destiny standing on the other side. She was wearing a loose fitting summer dress and her skin was flushed with the sunburn she’d gotten at the beach that day. Her hair was still wet from her shower and brushed back away from her face. She looked younger somehow, vulnerable, and absolutely beautiful. I heard her gasp and realized she was staring at my bare chest. Quickly I grabbed a t-shirt that was thrown over the back of a chair and pulled it over my head.

“I… um… did you want me to play?” She stuttered and blushed and I wondered why she seemed so nervous.

“Yeah sure. I mean unless you’re too tired.”

“No, that’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Great.”

She looked up into my eyes for another second and then turned to walk down the hall toward the music room. I followed behind her silently watching the sway of the thin dress brush against her skin and wondered if she had anything on underneath. My heart raced and I felt the excitement pulse through me. I shook my head to push the thought away.

I followed her into the music room and took my seat silently as she picked up her violin and brought it to her shoulder. She began to play without a word.

She closed her eyes as she played which allowed me to watch her. I examined the delicate features of her face. The high cheekbones brushed by the dark lashes of her closed lids. The sharp angles of her jaw line. The full softness of her lips. I let my gaze trail down her long slender neck to her smooth bare shoulders interrupted only by the thin straps holding up the flowing dress. Even underneath the loose material I could see the swell of her full breasts. I could feel the desire building inside me. I could feel the uncomfortable strain as I imagined how smooth and silky her skin would be below that dress. I remembered how she’d looked at the beach in her bikini, remembered the curve of her hips, her long lean legs.

As reality, memory and fantasy mingled in my mind fueling my desire I didn’t even realize she’d stopped playing until she began to walk towards me. I stood and took a step forward, meeting her in the middle of the room.

Overwhelmed with desire I reached for her. Cupping the back of her neck and drawing her towards me. I brought my lips down to hers and felt the soft give of her mouth that I’d imagined, remembered and dreamt of for the last several years.

The kiss started out softly, tentatively, but as I realized she wasn’t pulling away as I felt her lips part below mine and her body yield against me I deepened the kiss.