Love's Fate (Love Trilogy #1) (2 page)

As I settled into my seat on the plane I closed my eyes and wondered what my new life would be like. It wasn’t like all those other times. I wasn’t scared, or hesitant. I was thrilled! Everything I had worked so hard for was about to pay off.

I had been accepted at the University of California-San Diego. That is where my life would finally begin. I had taken night classes at the local community college during my senior year of high school to get enough college credits that I could enroll for summer classes and move right onto campus as soon as I graduated high school. It wasn’t something they usually let freshman do, but with my perfect 4.0 GPA and all my letters of recommendation from the professors at the community college they were willing to make an exception. By the time the fall semester actually started I would nearly be a sophomore.

School was something that had always come easy for me. I never struggled with any subject and often found high school curriculum boring, so I really enjoyed the extra challenge when I began taking the night classes. I had spent every moment of my free time in the last year planning for this day. I had already secured a dorm room and a job at an on-campus coffee shop. I sat there on the plane imagining all my plans coming into action and hadn’t even realized I’d drifted off to sleep until the dream started.

It was the same dream, always the same. A mixture of colors and emotions. It started with laughing and happiness. Dancing carelessly and feeling loved. My parents were in this dream. It was really the only memory I had of them, but they were so fuzzy. I couldn’t see the details of my mother
’
s face, just her green eyes. My eyes. I don’t know if my mother
’
s eyes were really that similar to mine or if my subconscious had replaced my eyes with hers in the dream. But her eyes were so happy, happier than I had ever seen my own eyes in my reflection. 

All I could see of my father was his smile. It was a beautiful smile. One that made me feel warm and loved. I could feel his strong arms around me, holding me. I feel safe.

There was also someone else in the dream, someone far away watching me. A boy. His eyes were sapphire blue. The deepest blue I could imagine, and I’m not quite sure how exactly I did imagine them because I had never in my life seen anything to match the deep blue of his eyes. But his eyes weren’t happy like my mothers were. They were scared, terrified.

Then the dream became a nightmare. Screaming, chaos, confusion, pain. That’s when I woke up. That’s when I always woke up.

I was drenched in sweat and curled up so that I was hugging my knees to my chest. A few of the other passengers on the plane were looking at me, some looked concerned others just curious. I felt the tears on my face and realized I had been crying. I got up and made my way to the small lavatory at the end of the aisle. I washed my face and the cold water helped pull me back to reality. I tried to push the dream out of my mind.

Luckily it was a short flight to San Diego. When the plane landed I quickly grabbed my small carry-on bag, grateful that I didn’t have enough stuff to require a large suitcase that would have had to be checked in. I practically ran from the plane, running from the dream. Hoping, wishing it could be left behind me. Knowing that it couldn’t. I easily found a cab and headed toward the UCSD campus. My new home.

“Michael!” my father’s gruff voice barked from behind his office door.

I glanced over at his timid secretary who fidgeted nervously at her desk. She looked at me quickly but didn’t allow her eyes to meet mine. She reminded me of a small mouse with a sharply pointed nose and beady eyes that were always darting around nervously. I wondered idly if she’d always been so nervous or if my father had made her that way. She knew the purpose of today’s meeting and she seemed almost as anxious about it as I should be.

Slowly I walked forward into the large extravagant office. My father sat behind his large mahogany desk trying to look regal. I was unimpressed. I slumped onto one of the leather sofas near the door rather than proceeding to one of the high-backed chairs positioned just in front of his desk. He looked annoyed. I smiled.

“I hear you’ve changed your major again” he began without preamble.

For a moment I wondered just how many spies he had stationed around my college campus for the sole purpose of informing him of my every move. Not that it mattered. I didn’t care what he knew.

“Well?” he questioned.

“Well what?” I said petulantly

“Well most people who spend 7 years in college have a Ph.D. to show for it Michael!” 

I smiled and allowed my eyes to scan the wall behind my father’s desk decorated with various diplomas and accreditations, but I still said nothing. I would not be intimidated. I could see his face turning redder by the minute. I was enjoying myself.

“I want to know what
you plan to do with your life, besides wast
e
my money?” he continued. “You will have to graduate eventually!” he threatened.

“Why don’t you just tell me what you want to hear, so I can say it and we can be done with this” I spit the words at him.

He knew I didn’t want to be here. He knew I didn’t want his money. I didn’t want to go to this school. All I wanted was to be free of him. I wanted to live my own life and if it wasn’t for my mother, I could. But cancer was slowly stealing her life. She needed the best doctors money could buy just to ease her suffering. And he could give her that.

I hated him for it.

I hated the way he used my love for her to keep me under his thumb. As long as I remained under his control he would pay for her medical care. If I left, if I stood on my own two feet and walked away from him he would allow her to suffer as she died. I couldn’t do that. So I stayed.

I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to get some sort of business degree so I could work at one of the many companies he owned, just another way to control me. He wanted me to become one of his cronies. Someone who bowed to his every whim and saluted him like the dictator he pretended to be. I figured it was better to be a life-long student. I would take every class UCSD offered. I nearly had.

I suppose I could have failed my classes and taken them repeatedly, but I guess I was too proud to feign stupidity. I easily passed every class I took and when I was in danger of graduating I just changed my major.

The way I saw it my mother did not have much longer to live, to suffer. Soon she would pass and then we would both be free. Until that time came I would play his game. I would pretend that someday I would join his legions of faithful followers. But we both knew that was a lie.

“Why do I bother?” he mumbled rubbing his temples, as if my mere presence was giving him a headache.

“You will graduate.” He threatened again.

Then he waved his hand toward the door and I knew I was being dismissed.

I left his office and headed straight for the beach. This is where I came when I needed to clear my head. I hiked to the top of a
cliff
I knew well. This was my spot. I always came here. The path that led the way was nearly obscured and no one else had ever disturbed me in this spot. I felt completely free when I came here, completely alone and out from under my father’s always watchful eye.

I sat on the edge of the precipice and watched the cerulean waves crash against the golden shore. It seemed as if they were fighting against the ocean. Trying to break free. As soon as they finally built up enough strength to reach the sandy beach the ocean would pull them back again. Regardless of my mood, the ocean always seemed to mimic my emotions.

I hated my father, I hated the control he had over my life, but I knew I would be leaving soon. I would miss the beach.

I remained there on my cliff until I had watched the fiery sphere sink into the blue depths. Sunset was my favorite time of day. The way the sky and ocean seemed to meld and change color was magical to me and at that one moment just before the sun disappeared anything seemed possible.

After the sun set I decided it was time to pick myself up and go back to my dorm room on campus. Of course I could afford to get my own place, I had a lot of money saved up from working nights as a DJ for the university’s radio station over the last 7 years. But my room and board was part of my tuition and as long as he was going to keep me here, I was going to drain him for every cent I could. I smiled at that thought as I walked through the door of my small room.

“Hey Mike.” My roommate said as I entered our room. “What’s got you grinning?”

Charlie had been my roommate for the last 4 years. He was my best friend, and I was sad to know that he actually would be graduating soon, but happy for him at the same time. At least his life was moving forward.

“The old man’s at it again” I replied.

That was explanation enough. Charlie hadn’t spoken with his own father in years, he knew how I felt about mine. There was never a need for explanation with Charlie.

Charlie grunted as he flopped down on the couch and put his arm around his girlfriend Claire. The two of them were polar opposites, at least in appearance.

Charlie had a dark complexion indicative of his Native American heritage, and his eyes were almost as black as his hair. He stood about six feet tall with broad shoulders and towered over Claire’s delicate 5’4” frame.

Claire had light red hair, blue eyes and freckles. But that is where the contrast stopped. They were two of the kindest people I had ever met. Charlie would give you the shirt off his back and Claire had a way about her that was almost maternal. She always seemed concerned about the people around her, always trying to comfort and protect them.

Claire smiled up at me with kind concern and I couldn’t help but smile back. She had a very kind face, and she always seemed genuine. She was pretty in a simple kind of way. But all girls seemed that way to me, some prettier than others, but none very special. Charlie said I was too picky. That no one was perfect. But I knew he was wrong. I had seen perfection once, although I tried not to think of that memory too often.

Charlie and Claire had been dating for the last two years. They had had met in an education class. Claire was planning on becoming a kindergarten teacher and Charlie wanted to coach football and teach history. She was at our place all the time, but I didn’t mind. She made Charlie happy. She took care of him. I figured they were headed toward marriage, with graduation only a few weeks away I knew it had to be on Claire’s mind.

It wasn’t uncomfortable to be around them like it could be with some couples. They knew how to keep their hands off each other in public for one, although there was always an understated affection between them. It was obvious that they cared for each other, maybe even loved each other, but when I watched them together I didn’t see passion in their eyes when they looked at each other. I had seen that kind of love only once in my life, and only for a fleeting second. But it was long enough to know that it existed. Long enough to know that I couldn’t settle for anything less.

“Are you coming to the coffee shop with us tonight?” Charlie asked. “A new band is playing, heard they’re supposed to be really good.”

“Sure” I shrugged.

My shift at the radio station didn’t start until midnight and it was already late enough that getting some sleep in before work was out of the question, I figured I might as well tag along to kill some time. The third wheel once again.

“There’s a real cute girl in my psych class, I think you’d like her. She’s supposed to be there tonight. I could introduce you” Claire offered.

Crap! Why had I agreed to go? I quickly tried to think of some way out of it. I couldn’t stand the thought of another blind date! I was always being set up with girls that I was supposed to like, but never did. It always ended the same. After a few hours of pretending to listen to whatever they were droning on about they would realize I was tuning them out and get annoyed. That’s how most of my dates ended. There was rarely a second date.

“Whatever” I mumbled not being able to come up with an excuse to back out that wouldn’t be an obvious display of my aversion to dating.

“Come on Michael, I really think you’ll like her.” Claire assured me.

I doubted it.

I couldn’t believe I’d just been tricked into another blind date. I had to hold some kind of record or something. But I guess I brought in on myself, if I actually asked girls out on my own maybe everyone I knew wouldn’t feel so compelled to set me up.

The coffee shop was packed when we got there. As we pushed through the crowd some big bulky guy shoved past me with a busted up nose and blood running down his face.

“Rough crowd here tonight.” I said to Charlie as we looked around for a table.

The band had lived up to their reputation, the music was good and people were piling in to listen. We managed to find a small table pushed into a back corner and I thought about how the chance of a waitress seeing us back here was slim to none. That actually was a relief when I realized I could use that as an excuse to leave the table if my blind date turned out to be a bust. Which I had no doubt it would. I could pretend to have gotten lost in the crowd while getting us some drinks and kill some time before finally making it back to the table just in time to have to leave for work. I was in the middle of planning my escape route when Claire jumped up and waved to someone who had just entered.