Love's Image (4 page)

“Judd Manning loves an audience, in case you haven’t noticed. He’s a clown. Everything’s a joke to him.”

The more Shannon heard, the more she wanted to know Judd Manning. What an interesting man.

“I like jokes,” Shannon said.

With a snicker, Janie shook her head. “Yeah, but it gets old after a while.” She hesitated before saying, “We still love him, though. Deep down, he’s a terrific guy.”

They rode in silence to Shannon’s apartment. After a quick good-bye, Janie drove off, and Shannon let herself into her apartment, flipping on lights as she headed back to her bedroom.

She’d just slipped out of her shoes and into some slippers when the phone rang. She recognized the voice as Judd’s even before he identified himself.

“Look, I know this is quick, but I don’t believe in wasting time,” he said. “Wanna get together for coffee soon?”

“Sure.”

Shannon couldn’t help but compare him to other guys she knew. Armand had watched her from a distance for nearly a month before he’d called the first time. She’d been aware of his gaze, so she hadn’t been surprised when she’d finally heard from him. This call from Judd, on the other hand, had been completely unexpected—and very quick.

“What?”

“I’d like that.”

“Cool. I wasn’t sure I heard right.”

“Well, you did.”

“Good. How about tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

“Want me to pick you up, or should we meet somewhere?”

Shannon swallowed hard. She’d always been so careful not to give out her address to people she didn’t know well, but she still hadn’t summoned the courage to drive, although her bright and shiny new sports car was sitting in the apartment complex parking lot, waiting for her.

“Shannon?” he said. “You still there?”

“Oh, yes, of course. Would you mind picking me up? I’m still a little skittish from the accident.”

Janie knew Judd, and the worst thing she’d heard about him was that he was a clown. Where was the harm in that? Be-sides, he was the pastor’s nephew, so he was accountable to someone respectable.

“No problem. I was thinking we could do a little catching up on the Bible study. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty lost in there. Those people are way ahead of me.”

Shannon laughed. “I know what you mean. I feel so inadequate among all those Bible scholars.”

“I don’t think they’d want you to feel that way. They’re a great group of people, and they’d never want to make anyone feel inadequate.”

Shannon felt like she needed to backpedal. “No, that’s not what I meant. I should have simply said that I felt lost and let it go.”

“I know what you mean. That’s why I wanted to get together with you. We can try to catch up.”

Shannon’s heart did a quick thud. She was surprised at her reaction of disappointment that Judd only wanted to get together with her to study and not because he was attracted to her.

“Okay, give me your address, and I’ll pick you up at eight in the morning,” he said, taking control.

“Eight?” She sniffled. “In the morning?”

“Yeah, unless that’s too early for you. If you want to sleep in, I can make it later.”

“No, no, that’s okay. Eight’ll be fine.”

Shannon hadn’t awakened before noon in years unless she had an early-morning shoot on an outdoor set. She’d have to set her alarm and do whatever it took to go to sleep at a decent time.

Strangely, she’d been very attracted to Judd and became even more so by the minute. She closed her eyes to bring his image to mind. His constantly changing expressions made him interesting to watch. One minute his forehead and the corners of his eyes crinkled with humor, and the next minute he had a pensive look on his face as the subject changed. She’d watched him throughout the Bible study, and she was intrigued by what she saw. Talking to him over the phone enhanced her desire to see him again.

Judd couldn’t believe he actually had a coffee date with Shannon McNab. What was he thinking? This woman was definitely out of his league.

To top it off, she’d accepted without hesitation. He swelled his chest. Maybe he wasn’t such a nerd, after all.

Being the son of a military officer, Judd had moved every couple of years. Just when he’d gotten used to a place and started making friends, he’d been uprooted again. Eventually, he quit trying so hard to fit in and worked on being funny. People around him enjoyed his antics, and he didn’t miss many party invitations—but he used humor to distance himself. Holding people at arms’ length was his only defense in relationships.

Judd had started working for the Department of Defense, teaching in military dependent schools right after college, and he’d transferred to wherever he was needed. He had a heart for military dependents because he knew what it was like to constantly be uprooted, and he could relate to the kids. However, after teaching three years in Japan and two years in Germany, with various other short-term assignments in between, he decided to pick a spot to settle.

He’d spent quite a bit of time with his aunt and uncle in Atlanta. He loved the soft vibrancy of the southern city, so he applied for a job in a Christian school near Atlanta to finish out a vacancy left by a teacher on maternity leave. To his surprise and delight, they’d called him in right away. After the teacher’s baby had arrived, she’d decided not to return, so the permanent position had been offered to Judd. Naturally, he’d accepted. As soon as summer break was over, he’d have next year’s batch of lively seventh graders, some eager and others squirming over the idea of having to learn another year of language arts.

Since Uncle Garrett and Aunt LaRita had a spare bedroom after their own children had grown up and moved out, they’d offered him a place to stay until he had enough saved to buy his own house. However, there was one condition to hanging out with his favorite uncle, who happened to be a pastor—Judd had to attend weekly services and get involved in church activities. That was okay, though. Judd needed to meet and get to know people his age. Besides, he was a Christian, even though his own parents hadn’t made their faith as much a part of their lives as Uncle Garrett had.

His excitement about seeing Shannon had rendered him sleepless. He went to bed early, after making plans with Shannon, so he’d be refreshed and bright in the morning.

Tossing and twisting in the sheets, trying to get comfortable, Judd couldn’t still his heart. Finally, he gave up trying. He flipped on the light switch and picked up his Bible. Might as well make use of the time rather than flop around like a fish.

He reread Ephesians chapter two, verses eight and nine, the verses they’d discussed in the Bible study. “By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Faith
. What a simple word. But it meant so much when he thought about it. For years, he hadn’t given his faith much thought. The extent of Judd’s churchgoing had been on Christmas and Easter, and even then his mind had been on the celebration afterward and not on the message.

Staying with Uncle Garrett had been an eye-opener for Judd. Uncle Garrett and Aunt LaRita started each day with a prayer, never began a meal without a blessing, and literally stopped in their tracks to close their eyes and say a prayer throughout the day. At night, before he padded to his own room, he could hear more whispered prayers coming from behind the closed door of his aunt and uncle. Those two were truly steeped in their faith.

When he’d asked Uncle Garrett if he was always happy, he’d been surprised when his question was returned with a solemn stare, then the words he hadn’t expected.

“No, Judd, I can’t honestly say I’m always happy. But happiness isn’t my goal in life. If you think about it, happiness is a very fleeting thing. When LaRita puts a good meal down in front of me, I’m happy. But when she’s away or I have to fend for myself, I’m rarely happy with what I have to eat. Last year, when I bought a new car, I was very happy, but before that, when I got the bill from the mechanic to fix my old car, I was not happy at all.”

Judd had thought about what his uncle was saying and nodded. “Yeah, I see what you mean. But you always
seem
happy.”

Uncle Garrett smiled. “You might be getting contentedness confused with happiness. I’m quite contented with my life because I know I’m walking close with Jesus.”

That simple statement was enough to arouse Judd’s curiosity. He listened more attentively to sermons now, and he did his best to understand scripture. There were times when he got lost, and he was afraid to ask others in the Bible study group. Maybe with a study partner, he’d be able to find some of the answers he’d been seeking.

Or maybe her beauty would divert his attention.

Judd sensed a restlessness in Shannon, and he couldn’t put his finger on the cause. She paid close attention as everyone spoke about the lesson they’d read. Although he’d read it, he was still slightly confused, so he fell back to his clown nature.

There were times when he wondered if he had anyone fooled. The only one in the group who didn’t always laugh was Shannon’s friend Janie, and he sometimes thought she might actually pity him. He hoped that wasn’t the case. Judd Manning wasn’t to be pitied, even if he was taking baby steps in his Christian walk. He was a proud man, and the thought of anyone feeling sorry for him was annoying.

Okay, so he’d admit, pride was one of his flaws. If he could get past worrying about what people thought about him, he might be able to ask some questions and get the answers that continued to gnaw at him.

He read the same scripture lesson over and over, going back and forth between his Bible and the workbook the group was using. He underlined text and pondered it, worrying that he might be missing something.

Finally, his eyelids grew heavy. After closing both books, he said a brief prayer and turned off the light.

Shannon must have tried on three different outfits before she found the right one. This was so not like her.

The first thing she’d put on was a black dress, but she realized that wasn’t the right outfit for a morning coffee date. Did she dare call this a date? She hadn’t been on a date with anyone but Armand in more than a year. And before that, she rarely went out because she was never sure why men wanted to be with her. She hated to be any man’s arm decoration, and quite a bit of emphasis had been put on her looks, so she’d become jaded and cynical when it came to men’s motives with her.

Although Judd had complimented her beauty, she had the feeling he would have asked her out regardless of her looks. Something about him seemed real. Vulnerable, even. Shannon liked that. It made her feel less on display and more equal in the relationship. One of the things she’d liked about Armand was his vulnerability—although now that she was apart from him, she saw that his weakness was from worrying too much about image.
Had she been the same way?

Shannon shoved that question to the back of her mind. She hated to think she’d been as shallow as so many other people she’d known in her industry.

She settled on black cotton slacks and a soft pink knit pullover. It was a simple outfit that wouldn’t demand attention. Her makeup had to be kept to a minimum, although she followed her urge to cover the bright red line streaking down the left side of her face. Even the thick cover stick didn’t completely conceal the reminder that her professional modeling career was most likely over.