Love's Someday (3 page)

“I feel like my past is another life. When we first started dating, I wanted to tell you, but I’d lived years convincing myself that it never happened. To give voice to it meant it was real, and I didn’t want to have to try and cope all over again.”

Ashleigh’s gaze refused to meet hers when she spoke. Erica watched her closely as she clutched the warm cup in both hands. “That makes sense,” Erica said before taking a sip of the tea that was supposed to calm her. It wasn’t working. “I know that you’d like to stay in that state of denial, but I need to know…who you are.”

“Who I
was
,” Ashleigh said, finally meeting her eyes. “You know who I am now.”

Erica nodded and set the cup back on the table. “Then tell me.”

Ashleigh stood and pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Erica watched as her hands trembled while she fumbled with the lid. When she returned to the table, she remained standing.

“There was no one to run to when my parents tossed me out. I think they figured that I’d see the severity of the situation and come running back. They thought I could change who I was, I guess. I remember standing in the Savannah bus terminal wondering where I should go. I saw Baton Rouge on the schedule. I liked the name, so I bought a ticket, and the next day, I arrived with a guitar, some money in my pocket, and a few clothes.”

In her mind’s eye, Erica saw the image of an eighteen-year-old Ashleigh on a bus headed to a strange town. She seriously doubted that she would have possessed the fortitude at that age to make the journey alone.

“I knew the money wouldn’t last long, so I stayed in the cheapest motel I could find. I landed a job in a coffee shop. I worked days serving coffee, and the owner let me play and sing a few nights a week. That’s how I met Chantal.”

Erica looked at her questioningly.

“She was a drummer and had a girlfriend that played keyboards. Chantal was starting a band and liked my voice. After she found a lead guitarist and bass player, we started playing local clubs.” Ashleigh finally slipped back into her chair and looked over at Erica. “It seemed like a dream. The bassist had a few connections. We recorded a demo, and everything seemed to happen overnight.”

“You were picked up by a record company that quickly?”

“Yeah, we had the electronic sound that was becoming extremely popular. I went from sleeping on Chantal’s couch to the road. It was exciting but lonely at the same time. We’d come back to Baton Rouge occasionally, and everyone would go home.”

Ashleigh stared off as she recounted, and Erica noticed that her eyes had moistened.

“I really didn’t have anywhere to go. Chantal invited me to stay with her and Vicki, but I needed time to myself after being on the road with all of them. I had some money then, but not enough to get a place of my own, much less furnish it. I booked myself into a slightly better hotel than I’d stayed in before and waited for the next road trip.”

“There was no one…no girlfriend in your life then?” Erica asked, finding it hard to believe that Ashleigh was so alone.

Ashleigh shook her head and looked down at the table. “I won’t deny that I didn’t take advantage of the trappings that come with being a part of a band that was growing popular. I had…dalliances, but that’s all they were. The women I met were more interested in my lifestyle than they were me.”

Erica refused to ask how many dalliances there were. She figured she was better off not knowing.

“When ‘Love’s Someday’ hit the charts, we went into hyper-drive. We took to the road nonstop. The venues kept getting larger. We started opening for bands that I never dreamed we’d share a stage with.” A slight smile made its way across Ashleigh’s face then. “It was one of the most exciting times in my life.

“The guitarist and I were the only single women in the band,” Ashleigh said as she gestured nervously with her hands. She looked as though she was struggling with what to say next. “We ended up together, and for a while, everything was perfect. I had someone who understood my life, and our career continued to climb.”

Erica pushed away the
tea
that had grown cold while she listened. “This was a serious relationship?”

“For me, it was,” Ashleigh admitted as her eyes took on that faraway look again. “For her, not so much. She broke my heart more than once. We broke up and I looked for someone to cling to, someone to ground me and fill the void that’d been created. I started dating a girl who joined our road team.” Ashleigh scrubbed at her face. “I didn’t love her. There was no real connection. We went from one party to another. She was more adventurous than me, and we drank and sampled every drug that was offered to us.”

Erica was stunned by that revelation and realized that was more than likely why Ashleigh avoided alcohol now. “Were you…did you..?” Erica was unable to finish the question.

“I don’t think I was an addict.” Ashleigh shrugged. “I was on my way, though.”

“Is this why you don’t want to remember the past?” Erica asked, hoping it was that simple, but the way Ashleigh looked at her, she knew it wasn’t.

“Kelly had a heart defect that she wasn’t aware of,” Ashleigh continued in a strained voice. “We partied it up one night. I was so out of it that I don’t remember going back to the hotel. I woke up the next afternoon, but Kelly never did. She was…cold when I reached for her.”

Erica had never seen Ashleigh look like she did at that moment. Though tears streamed from her eyes, her face was like stone. Erica’s mind reeled from what she’d just heard. It was almost too much. She was tempted to ask Ashleigh to stop when she began again.

“My road manager was spinning different yarns before her body was even removed from the room. He was brainstorming with the record executives on how to keep the scandal to a minimum. The last two dates of the tour were canceled because of my ‘exhaustion.’ Everything was swept under the rug, and I was expected to go on as if nothing ever happened. I did then what I do best,” Ashleigh said, looking over at Erica. “I disappeared. I left the band high and dry, moved to the outskirts of Baton Rouge, and started over again. I haven’t seen or spoken to any of my
bandmates
since.”

Both women sat silently then. Erica pinched the bridge of her nose as she pictured Ashleigh waking up next to a lifeless body. Erica’s hand moved of its own volition and timidly rested atop Ashleigh’s shaking hands that were clasped tightly together. She watched as Ashleigh’s gaze moved to their hands, then to meet hers. A storm brewed in the green depths. And though Erica could feel the warmth of her skin, she could not feel the warmth that had always existed between them.

Walls of self-preservation were being built between them brick by brick. Erica could feel her own clicking into place as she remembered Ashleigh’s admission.
I did then what I do best—I disappeared.
Erica wondered if now that the secret was revealed, Ashleigh would do the same to her.

“Monday mornings suck.” Kaitlyn let herself in the screen door. “Actually, mornings just suck. You need to convince your dad to let us work nights.”

Erica stood in front of the coffeepot waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. “You tell him that. Do it the minute you walk into the office.”

“Ah, you saw the e-mails, too. He’s gonna be a bear today.” Kaitlyn pulled a mug from the cabinet and set it next to the coffeepot. “We should extend our vacation by a day, give him time to cool off.”

“Unfortunately, that will only piss him off more. We have to go in and face the music.”

“Speaking of music, did you and Ashleigh talk?” Kaitlyn asked casually as she spooned cream and sugar into her cup.

Erica lowered her voice. “We’ll talk about it when we get in the car.”

They were five miles from chaos, according to the volley of e-mails that Erica had read in her office at home that morning. Unlike any other time that they’d returned from their yearly vacation, Erica looked forward to being swamped beneath the workload. Kaitlyn did not.

“I’m taking the long way.” Kaitlyn glanced at the clock. “We’ve got time. Now tell me about Ash.”

Erica groaned when Kaitlyn took the route that would extend their drive from five to fifteen minutes. “She lived the life of drugs, sex, and rock and roll, end of story.”

Kaitlyn slapped her hand on the steering wheel. “Details or I’m pulling into the doughnut shop.”

“Well.” Erica blew out a long breath. “She was in a band that had a hit. She got caught up in drink and drugs, and a woman she was dating overdosed. After that, she quit the band and went into hiding for the next fifteen years. Then she met me and you know our history.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Erica could see Kaitlyn glancing between her and the road. “Why did she keep that from you?” Kaitlyn asked. “I can understand how that would’ve been traumatic for her, but why all the secrecy?”

Erica flexed her hands that had been clamped tightly into fists. “She’s ashamed, and I can understand that, but just the same, I feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if she’s hiding something else.”

Kaitlyn was quiet for a moment as she meandered down tree-lined roads. “There’s no denying that she kept her past hidden from you. But now, there’s not an hour of the day that you don’t know where she is. She goes to work, has lunch with Drew, and is waiting at home when you get in from work. Her life is completely transparent.”

Erica couldn’t put into words how unsettled she felt. She knew what Kaitlyn said was true, but she still felt that she shared her home with a stranger.

As Kaitlyn pulled into her parking spot, Erica felt relief wash over her. Barrett Industries was her second home. She and the thriving family business had grown up together. Though she knew she would be walking into a storm when she crossed the threshold, she was looking forward to it. She needed something else to occupy her mind.

Erica and Kaitlyn had their own routines. Kaitlyn would go straight into the
breakroom
and fill her coffee mug, then she would grab a doughnut and head for logistics, who filled her in on the status of each job and the company gossip. Erica, on the other hand, needed quiet time to get her head in the game.

Erica and her older sister, Sharon, had always known what they wanted to be when they grew up. Sharon was going to be a lawyer/doctor/cosmetologist but graduated with a teaching degree. Erica said she was going to work with her dad, and that’s exactly what she did. Refurbishing chemical tank trailers and reselling them was not glamorous, but it was something that Erica and her father shared an interest in. Bob Barrett was a tough boss, but she couldn’t imagine working for anyone else.

Erica had no sooner switched on her computer when Bob entered her office. He walked over and kissed her cheek, then settled in a chair in front of her desk.

“We have a meeting with Todd Lowery this morning. Ellis has made a mess of the McKesson account, as I’m sure you well know.”

“Good morning, Dad,” Erica said with a hint of a smile as she studied her father. The wavy thick dark hair that he’d passed on to her had been trimmed, her mother’s handiwork, no doubt. Except for the worry lines etched in his brow, he looked rested. His slate-colored eyes were focused on her, and she watched as his worry lines seemed to go slightly deeper.

“Good morning, honey. Forgive me, how was the trip? You look a little pale.”

“Evidently, not long enough. It appears I’ve walked back into a crap storm,” Erica said, steering the conversation away from her.

“To say the least,” Bob said with evident frustration. “Todd showed up here on Thursday, made a six-hour trip with a crew, and there were no tanks.”

Erica groaned. “Were they still in refurb?”

“One was. The other two didn’t arrive until Friday. I met up with Kaitlyn before I came in here. She’s got a team going over the other two now. If we have any luck at all, they’ll be in good shape.”

“So we’re looking at a week before we’re ready to deliver?”

“Maybe more if we’re not so lucky.”

Erica leaned back in her chair. “Did Ellis give any reason why he dropped the ball?”

“Said he had too much on his plate.”

“Kaitlyn and I handle five accounts each. He has one, and his plate is overloaded?”

Bob raised his hands and let them drop into his lap. “He’s not a multi-
tasker
.”

They’d had this conversation over a hundred times. Ellis
Polinsky
was well past retirement age, but neither Erica nor her father had the heart to force him out. “What time is the meeting with Todd?”

Bob looked at his watch. “We have an hour.”

Erica nodded and made a few notes on the tablet before her. “Did he send his crew back?”

Bob nodded. “They’re on the payroll. He couldn’t have them waiting around here until we got our crap together.”

“Okay,” Erica said, then let out a long breath. “I’ll round up some contract drivers. If Todd wants to stay in town and oversee the work, we need to foot the bill on that. We’ll also have to compensate him for the wasted day’s wages for his crew. I’ll get with Kaitlyn and see what her estimates are. We’ll be ready for Todd when he gets here.”

“Good,” Bob said as he stood. “I need to make a few calls, but I’ll have Patrice let us all know when Todd gets here.”