Authors: Robin Alexander
Tags: #General, #Romance, #Lousiana, #Lesbians, #Lesbian Couples, #Fiction
“I tried, but my hair is too straight, and I got tired of
perming
the shit out of it.” Drew set a bowl of soup in front of Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn’s empty growling stomach caused her to be rude, and she grabbed her spoon and began eating before Drew joined her. She smiled apologetically and mumbled around a mouthful, “Sorry.” She took another bite and swallowed before attacking the bread with the same gusto. “So tell me about Ash.”
Drew repeated the story as Kaitlyn ate and listened intently. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not minimizing the fact that someone died, but I still can’t understand the big deal.”
“Well, it’s a big deal to Ash,” Drew said, rolling her eyes. “She copes by ignoring things, and the bad thing is that Erica’s the same way. I don’t think Ash is going to be able to ignore this any longer now that it’s all out, and frankly, I don’t want her to. She needs to meet this head-on.”
Kaitlyn took her empty bowl to the stove and refilled it, then did the same with Drew’s. “I know all the head
shrinkers
say that denial is not a good way to handle things, but it seemed to work for her so far.”
“You sound just like Ash,” Drew said as she accepted her bowl from Kaitlyn. “From what I’ve read, Ash was extremely talented. Did you know she wrote their hit? She can’t keep that gift locked away. It’s a part of who she is.”
“You’ve certainly been doing your research. What else have you learned?”
“The band is still together. They play at a local club a couple times a month. Chantal, the drummer, maintains the Web site.” Drew started speaking rapidly. “All of the original members are still together, except for Ash, of course. Chantal is really nice, and they’re not recording—”
“Nice?” Kaitlyn’s spoon froze between the bowl and her mouth. “Did you contact her?”
Drew smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Drew Talbot! I cannot believe you.”
Drew’s face colored as she looked at Kaitlyn as innocently as she could. “I couldn’t help myself. I saw the site, then the e-mail address. My fingers were moving before I knew what I was doing. I told her that we saw a video of theirs recently, and I looked up their Web site. When she called, I couldn’t keep my mouth closed.”
Kaitlyn’s spoon fell to the table with a clatter. Her mouth moved, but only a squeak came out.
Drew reached over and grabbed Kaitlyn’s arm with a pleading look. “She was so excited. They’ve been looking for Ashleigh for a long time.”
Kaitlyn held up a finger. “Stop speaking, it’s getting worse with every word.”
“Don’t be mad at me, Katie. I couldn’t help myself. You know I’m like a dog with a bone sometimes.” Drew stood and followed Kaitlyn as she paced around the kitchen. “This is not a bad thing—”
“Honey, it’s an invasion of Ashleigh’s privacy and Erica’s too for that matter,” Kaitlyn said incredulously. “They may kill us both.”
“Chantal is giving us a backstage pass for Saturday night. Free drinks and a reserved table for the show. Can we go?”
Kaitlyn looked as if all the air escaped her lungs. “Well, yeah,” she said calmly and put her hands to her mouth. “Oh, my God, what did I just agree to?”
Drew danced around the kitchen while Kaitlyn fought off a panic attack. “We can never tell them we did this, do you understand me?” Kaitlyn grabbed Drew, stilling her. “They are going to be so pissed at us if they find out.”
“Okay, it’s our secret,” Drew said, barely able to contain her excitement.
“Dinner smells amazing,” Erica said when she walked in the door.
“The pasta will only take a moment,” Ashleigh said as Erica dropped her briefcase on the floor by her office. Erica pulled a bottle of red wine from the rack on the kitchen counter that sat untouched for years. She dusted off the bottle and searched for an opener. “Bad day at work?” Ashleigh asked as she checked the bread.
“Ellis messed up some stuff.” Erica uncorked the wine. “We spent the day soothing a customer and cleaning up.” Erica filled her glass and took a sip. She looked at Ashleigh awkwardly before kissing her on the cheek. “How was your day?”
“Busy too,” Ashleigh said, feeling uncomfortable. The kiss seemed forced. She knew that Erica was dealing with it all the best she could, and at the moment, Ashleigh didn’t have the inner strength to help. She didn’t want this between them, but she didn’t want to confront it again, either. She’d foolishly hoped that Erica would forget it all, along with her. “Runny noses, one dog bite, and a backlog of paperwork, typical hectic Monday.”
“A dog bite,” Erica said with a raised brow. “Was it bad?”
“Actually, no. Lydia’s poodle got overzealous while playing with a toy and gave her a nip.”
“How many nips this month?”
“Three counting today,” Ashleigh said while draining the pasta.
“Sounds like an abusive relationship.”
“Yeah, Lydia may be moving out soon, leaving Tippy the house.”
“Hope he can swing the mortgage. I don’t think the bank takes Milkbones anymore,” Erica said as she set the table.
With the events of the day relayed, they fell into silence again. Ashleigh chased the food around her plate, barely taking a few bites until Erica began to fidget and explained that she would have to spend the evening in her office catching up on the work she missed. Regardless of what Erica said, Ashleigh understood it to mean that Erica felt as out of sorts as she did.
When the kitchen was clean, Ashleigh decided to relax in the bath. At the top of the stairs, she looked at the attic door. She knew that Erica wouldn’t come up anytime soon. She made the detour and closed the door behind her. The attic was stuffed with everything that she and Erica collected over the years. Ashleigh picked her way through boxes until she found the two that she’d left packed when she first moved in with Erica.
Beneath old tax returns and general junk, Ashleigh found what she’d been looking for. She pulled the plastic bag from the box and sank down onto the floor, staring at it. The ketchup stains had turned brown with age, but she could still make out her handwriting.
When will love’s someday be mine?
The band had traveled to Pensacola to play two shows. Broke, they were only able to afford one hotel room, and Ashleigh needed to breathe. She’d had enough in her pocket to afford a shake and fries and took her meager lunch to a park a block away. Loneliness and longing poured out of her onto the stained napkin. She wrote of the love she hoped to one day experience.
How Alex found her she didn’t know. She strolled up with the ever-present guitar and sat on the grass alongside Ashleigh, swiping an occasional fry. Alex effortlessly put music to the desires of Ashleigh’s heart that afternoon. And then later that night they sneaked back into the park and made love on a blanket next to the tree where they’d collaborated on the song that would change their lives.
Alex had been an excellent yet brutal teacher. Sex and passion were lessons that Ashleigh eagerly embraced, yet she graduated with honors in pain and heartbreak. Alex had moved on to her next student without a hint of remorse.
Ashleigh tossed the bag back into the box and dug farther. Her hands slid through papers in the dim light until she felt the glossy texture of the one picture, the only picture she dared to keep. It wasn’t a publicity photo but one someone had taken when times were good. The five of them stood smiling at the camera; Alex’s arms were draped around her shoulders, her cheek pressed against Ashleigh’s. Until seeing the video, Ashleigh had not sought Alex’s face. She thought that perhaps looking at it now would stir some emotion in her, maybe anger or the feeling of loss she felt before. Now she felt remote, detached, and she wondered if time had maybe healed old wounds.
Her eyes misted when she looked at Vicki wrapped in Chantal’s arms. She’d been too caught up in her own pain and never considered until now how much she missed one of her dearest friends.
Were
she and Chantal still together after all of these years? Had they forgiven her by now? Ashleigh tucked the picture away. The answers to these questions she would probably never know.
“I’m nervous,” Drew said as she and Kaitlyn walked toward the entrance of the club. “What if I start rambling and say too much again?”
“As long as you don’t blurt out Ashleigh’s address, we should be okay.” Kaitlyn looked around the parking lot. “There’s not a lot of cars here, they must not draw a big crowd.”
“They go on at ten, it’s only eight. Chantal suggested we come early so we could meet the band.”
Kaitlyn squeezed Drew’s hand. “At any other time, that would have really excited me, but we have two hours of conversation ahead of us, which broadens the margin of error.”
“I’ll behave, you don’t have to worry.”
“It’s not just you that I worry about,” Kaitlyn said with a smile. “I’ll probably gush over them like a teenager and say something incredibly stupid.”
Drew froze and tugged Kaitlyn to a stop. “Should we leave?”
“Are you nuts? And miss this opportunity? I brought a Sharpie. They’re autographing my bra.”
Drew and Kaitlyn timidly walked into the club. A handful of patrons sat at the bar and gave them a casual glance. A wall separated the large dance hall from the first bar, and Drew and Kaitlyn passed through the archway and watched as people moved around the stage arranging equipment.
“Should we ask one of them where Chantal is?” Drew looked for a familiar face.
“How do you know she’s not one of them?” Kaitlyn asked.
“Because I’ve seen her picture, and none of those people are her.”
“Okay, you go first.” Kaitlyn gave her a nudge.
“
Chickenshit
,” Drew said before walking up to a woman running cable. “Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Chantal Versal?”
“Are you Drew Talbot?”
“Yes.”
“She’s expecting you, follow me.”
They followed the woman up a flight of stairs next to the stage and entered another area with a bar. The woman tapped on a door marked private. A tall blonde answered and looked at them in question.
“This is Drew Talbot,” the woman said, waving a hand in Drew’s direction.
The door opened wider. “Please come in. I’m Lindsay. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“This is my partner, Kaitlyn,” Drew said with a nervous smile.
“Nice to meet you, Kaitlyn,” Lindsay said while shaking their hands. She turned and led them down another hallway. “You’ll be meeting my partner, Jaclyn, in a second. This is our place, so if there’s anything you need or want, don’t hesitate to ask.” Lindsay paused in front of a door. “What can I get you ladies to drink?”
Drew gave Kaitlyn a questioning look.
“It’s open bar, you two get the VIP treatment this evening,” Lindsay said, grinning at them.
“Bourbon and Seven,” Kaitlyn replied. “The well brand is fine with me.”
“No problem,” Lindsay said. “And for you?” She looked at Drew.
“I’ll have the same.”
“Go on in, they’re expecting you. I’ll bring up the drinks in a minute,” Lindsay said before walking away.
“You go first.” Drew shoved Kaitlyn toward the door. Kaitlyn slowly turned the handle and peeked inside. Four women sat around the room, one held a guitar. They all looked at Kaitlyn with quizzical expressions as Drew shoved her deeper into the room.
“Hi, I’m Kaitlyn and my partner hiding in the hall is Drew,” Kaitlyn said with a sheepish grin. “We’re looking for Chantal.”
A woman an inch or two taller than Kaitlyn stood and approached them with a smile. Her short wavy black hair was filled with gel and tousled. Kaitlyn watched as the muscles of her bare arm flexed as she shook her hand. She knew who she was before she spoke.
“I’m Chantal,” she said with a bright smile. “We’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”
Suddenly emboldened, Drew brushed past Kaitlyn and shook Chantal’s hand vigorously. “It’s great to meet you in person. Thank you for inviting us.”
Chantal led them deeper into the room and pointed at another woman as she began to rise from the sofa. “This is my partner and the keyboardist for the band, Vicki Kavick.”
Taller than Chantal but with equally dark hair that hung to her shoulders, Vicki moved closer and shook their hands. “It’s great to meet you both.”
“I’m Jaclyn,” a tall redhead said as she moved in. “You probably met my partner, Lindsay, outside.”
“We did.” Drew shook Jaclyn’s hand. “She’s very sweet.”
“And this is Alex,” Chantal said, stepping aside as a tall brunette joined the group.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” she said with a smile.
Lindsay moved into the room behind them with a tray of drinks. Once she’d passed them out, she took a seat next to Jaclyn and looked at Kaitlyn and Drew with the same expectant expression.
“Thank you for making the drive all the way from St.
Francisville
to come and see us,” Vicki said.
“We’re thrilled to be able to take in one of your shows. I’m a fan from way back,” Kaitlyn said with a grin.
“How is Ashleigh?” Jaclyn asked, earning a disapproving look from Chantal.
“We…um…of course are happy to meet you, but we’ve been looking for Ashleigh for some time, so we don’t mean to be rude.” Chantal glanced back at Jaclyn.